Despite Our Struggles
by melodramatic cliches
Summary: Clare Edwards has been adopted into the Edwards family. Not only does she have to deal with her new family, but she must deal with the people at school as well, including Eli Goldsworthy who doesn't seem to like her. But some things change over time.
1. Not the Best Start

I smiled as the smell of pancakes had wavered into my room. I slowly opened my eyes to only see my white ceiling. Today was September 16th. First day of school. My new school I should say, Degrassi. Even though I had been living in Toronto my whole life, this was my first time attending Degrassi. I'm sure it will be a thrill.

"Clare? Honey. Hurry up! School starts in thirty minutes!" Helen yelled from downstairs.

Quickly, I sat up and hurried around the room like speed racer. Hurrying to find a top, skirt and shoes. Thankfully Helen had placed fresh clean clothes in my closet, so it wasn't a struggle to find clothes.

After getting dressed, doing my hair and applying my makeup, I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulder and walked downstairs. The smell of pancakes were stronger and I entered the kitchen to see Helen was at the stove, flipping pancakes and Darcy was sitting at the table, multitasking by eating her pancakes and texting.

"I'm ready." I said enthusiastically as I stood in the archway of the kitchen. Helen looked over at me and smiled softly.

"Oh Clare. You look beautiful, darling." Helen complimented nicely. I nodded.

"Thanks Helen. That's very nice of you to say." I replied. Helen's smile wavered a bit.

"You can call me mom, Clare. You're allowed to do that." Helen reminded me for the thousandth time since I've arrived at the Edwards home.

"I know, I know. When I'm ready." I explained shortly to Helen. Helen smiled a bit before returning to flipping pancakes. I was ready to sit down at the table, when Darcy stood up, threw her plate into the sink noisily and brushed past me to the front door. "Darcy?" Helen said. "You have to wait for Clare." Darcy scoffed and looked at us from over her shoulder.

"Why should I? She isn't even my sister, mom." Darcy spat. I cringed a bit at her words. I mean, I should be used to it by now, this was normal, Darcy behavior. Since I've arrived here, she's been nothing but rude and anytime Helen tells her to act nice, Darcy doesn't. I'll have to grow use to it.

"Darcy Sofia Edwards! Apologize to your sister now!" Helen demanded. Darcy rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I'm sorry Clare. Happy, mom?" Darcy said annoyed. Helen nodded.

"Ugh. Hurry up, Clare. I'm not gonna wait around for you." Darcy scoffed before heading off to the front door. I looked back at Helen and she sighed.

"Have a nice day at school, Clare." Helen murmured. I nodded.

"I sure hope so." I agreed. Then I walked towards the front door, ready for school.

Darcy slammed the car door and walked quickly down the sidewalk, I followed her, trying to keep up.

"Darcy? Darcy, can you help me find my classes?" I asked in a small voice. Darcy spun around on her heel and faced me.

"Listen here, Clare." Darcy spat. "You don't talk to me at lunch if I come over to the high school to see some people. You don't wave at me or come up to me and my friends either. We don't know each other here. Got it?" Darcy explained harshly. I gulped and nodded.

"Crystal clear, Darcy." I replied. Darcy stood up straighter and sighed, spinning around on her heel to walk away when some brunette stood in front of her.

"Hey Darce." the preppy brunette looked around Darcy's shoulder to see me. "Uhm.. Shoo?" the brunette said harshly. I stood there with my jaw slacked, not sure how to move at the moment.

"Shoo means to get the fuck out, doll face." A deeper voice said. I looked up under my lashes to see a boy with deep brunette hair and dark green eyes. I quickly curved around them and walked quickly towards the school. I could still hear their conversation behind me.

"Thanks Eli for getting rid of her." Darcy thanked.

"No problem, Darce. Anything to help out a friend." Eli replied with, his voice sounded smug, he probably was.

"Alright then, lets go or we'll miss our morning class, Darce." the other girl said. I notice their voices drift away as they walked towards the college which was nearby the high school. Although, I felt the guy, Eli, brush past me, making me stop in my tracks. Eli looked back at me and scoffed. "Freak." He muttered, but it was loud enough for me to hear. This was sure to be interesting. Very interesting.

It was easy to get lost at Degrassi. That was for sure. The halls were crowded with people. My first time at a actual school. God, this was surely embarrassing. I had my small nose stuck in my schedule all morning searching for my classes. I managed to attend first period with Mr. Perino in History late and I almost got written up for it. Which was idiotic if you ask me, but of course, I wouldn't tell Mr. Perino that. He seems to have a short temper. Anyway, here I was. Wandering around the halls like a lost puppy. I was trying to find advanced English with Ms. Dawes. It was a supposed advanced class for Juniors and rarely do Sophomores attend, but hey, here I was.

"Shh. Keep quiet." A high voice said.

I had stopped in my tracks and looked around confused. Who even was that?

"I am keeping quiet, but you're being the loud one here, Jenna." A deep familiar voice said. It was Eli. I remember now. The boy I saw earlier today talking to Darcy, the one all dressed in black. The rude and disrespectful one.

Allowing my curiosity to get the better of me, I decided to hear further about the conversation.

"We're gonna get in trouble, Eli!" The high pitched female voice which was Jenna's exclaimed loudly.

"Shh! God, Jenna. I told you to keep quiet." Eli said in a hush voice. There was a bout of silence before I heard sucking sounds down the hall, A disgusted look came across my face and I decided not to listen any further. This was already gross. Skipping class for make outs? What was the fun in that.

After more walks around the dead halls, I found Ms. Dawes's English room. I turned the doorknob and all eyes were on me. I looked at what was I assumed the teacher, a middle aged woman with a bad hair cut and a old cardigan looked over at me.

"Well. Hello. How may I help you?" Ms. Dawes asked, pushing her glasses higher up on her face. I gulped before answering her.

"I'm Clare. Clare Edwards. I'm suppose to be in your class." I said in a soft voice. Ms. Dawes nodded slowly. "Well.. You're twenty minutes late, Clare." Ms. Dawes said.

Some chuckles erupted from the class, I could feel my ears get red hot from embarrassment.

"Quiet down. Quiet down." Ms. Dawes said looking at her class, she turned back to me. "Go take a seat, Clare." she added. I nodded and quickly took a desk in the middle of the classroom behind a empty desk with some belongings in the chair.

Halfway through Ms. Dawes spiel about her class and her classroom expectations. Eli burst through the room with a huge smile on his face. Ms. Dawes turned her attention to Eli who stood by the door with a huge smile still plastered on his face.

"Mr. Goldsworthy. You've been out of class for thirty minutes. The class is almost over. Now I know that using the bathroom doesn't take that long." Ms. Dawes said, more chuckles erupted from the class. Eli shrugged and started walking to his desk.

"I got caught up in some stuff." Eli lied. I knew he was somewhat lying. He was making out with Jenna which is getting caught up in some stuff, but he missed class because of it, which was pretty stupid in my book. Ms. Dawes rolled her eyes.

"Oh whatever, Mr. Goldsworthy. Just sit down and try to stay in class for the remainder of two minutes alright?" Ms. Dawes said in a bit of a sarcastic tone. More of the class giggled and Eli's smile faltered, he walked towards me and I realized that he sat in front of me. The thrashed black backpack belonged to him along with the torn binder as well which was laying on his desk. He shoved it in his bag quickly and looked over his shoulder at me.

"I didn't know that they allowed freaks into advanced English classes." Eli sneered lowly enough for me and a couple others to hear too. I tightened my fist and scowled.

"I didn't know that they allowed ditchers into advanced English classes either." I remarked sharply, but louder. Some people nearby had heard the remark and laughed. As if on cue, Ms. Dawes looked over at me and Eli.

"Mr. Goldsworthy? Ms. Edwards? Any problems?" Ms. Dawes questioned. I shook my head quickly, trying not to blush.

"None at all, Ms. Dawes." I said quickly, more like lied quickly. Ms. Dawes nodded slowly and turned back to the board.

Soon the bell shrilled and I walked out of the classroom, my schedule out, looking for my next class, but soon I felt a hand on my arm and pull my roughly. I looked up to see Eli had me by the arm.

"What the fuck did you see?" Eli sneered. I furrowed my brows.

"I don't understand..?" I asked slowly, Eli's grip on my arm became tighter.

"What did you see in the halls? I know you saw something. What the hell did you see?" Eli scowled. I gulped and answered softly. "I saw you making out with some girl named Jenna. Or I heard you two making out."

Eli let go of my arm and I quickly placed a hand over the place where he grabbed me.

"You don't say a damn word. Alright?" Eli said lowly, getting close to my face. I could smell his cologne that he was wearing, it smelled good. Smelled good on him. I nodded quickly and Eli sighed, getting away from me, he took one last look at me before disappearing into the crowd of students going to class. I stayed against the rusty lockers, still somewhat confused as of to what had just happened. Deciding that it was nothing, I just walked away looking for my PE class with Ms. Quincy, hoping that him or Jenna weren't in my class.

Although as I entered the gym, I saw a peppy blond with the same voice as Jenna. There was Jenna. I sighed heavily and pushed through the gym, promising myself to keep my mouth shut for Eli. Even if I didn't like him all that much, I said I wouldn't say a word. And I always keep my word.

Just a new story. I'm getting pretty bored with Not The Purest and figured I needed something new and I liked this idea. (: Its VERY VERY AU. So Eli being an asshole and Darcy being a bitch, is the AU version of this story. Hopefully you like this.


	2. Bond Over a Jerk

So far, my day had consisted of being yelled at by Darcy. Being in an awkward situation by hearing Eli and Jenna make out during class. Getting into an argument with Eli which was a bit too scary for my taste. But somehow during fourth period, PE I had met someone who didn't scare me or hate me. Her name was Alli. Alli Bhandari.

"Hi! You must be the new girl. Clare right? I'm Alli. Alli Bhandari." Alli greeted herself while sitting next to me on the bleachers. I looked her over. She had a light dark skin color, big brown eyes, clothes that Darcy would wear and a oversized bag she placed by her feet. I nodded and smiled.

"Yeah.. I'm Clare. Clare Edwards." I said, introducing myself. Alli's eyes widened. "Edwards.. As in _Darcy Edwards?"_ Alli said, using the emphasis on Darcy's name.

Quickly then I was frozen. What do I say? Darcy swore me to never mention that we were "sisters". She didn't want to be embarrassed by her new "sister".

I gulped and answered softly.

"N-No." I stuttered. Alli cocked an eyebrow at me. "I mean.. I'm not related to Darcy. Whoever she is. I'm not related to her. I have no siblings." I lied as smoothly as I could try. Alli nodded slowly and smiled.

"You're so lucky to not have any siblings. Its so annoying. My older brother, Sav? Yeah, tall Indian man who likes to sing and play guitar even though he's horrible at it?" Alli asked describing a basic taller, male version of herself.

I furrowed my brows and tried to remember someone looking similar to Alli. But I couldn't, so I just shrugged. Alli shrugged herself.

"He can be sooooo annoying." Alli said using very much emphasis on the 'so'. I nodded. I knew what Alli's "pain" was like. Having Darcy as a older sister was pretty tough too, with having to deal with her mood swings and her nineteen year old fits. It was pretty horrible to be honest, but I wouldn't tell Helen or Darcy that. I wouldn't wanna offend either of them.

The rest of the period consisted of the manly looking, Ms. Quincy telling us how our sophomore year of PE will be going and what PE clothes we'll need to wear and what not. The bell shrilled and I stood up with Alli, I was ready to walk away from Alli, but she quickly grabbed my arm.

"Hey! Wanna hang out with me at lunch?" Alli asked with a sweet smile. I sighed and nodded, adding a smile of my own. It was better than eating alone.

Alli and I walked side by side as she led me to the cafeteria. I saw how crowded the cafeteria can get, Alli must have noticed my big eyes because she placed a reassuring hand on my arm.

"Don't freak out, Clare. This is NOTHING compared to the Juniors and Seniors eating in here. They're lucky they have cars to drive to some place for lunch. Some Sophomores and maybe even Freshman's are lucky enough to hitch a ride with them." Alli explained. I nodded slowly and followed Alli to where we were getting our food.

After getting our trays filled with rather gross looking food, I followed Alli to a table where two people were sitting at.

"Hey, Jenna!" Alli said with a smile, she leaned over the table to give Jenna a hug. I gulped yet again. Alli was friends with Jenna? This was sure to be awkward. "Alli!" Jenna exclaimed, hugging her back before sitting back down. Jenna looked at me and smiled lightly. "Hi. I'm Jenna. You must be Clarence right?" Jenna asked. I shook my head.

"No.. Uhm.. I'm Clare. I'm in your PE class." I said softly. Jenna cocked an eyebrow oddly.

"Oh." She said before picking at her food. I mentally kicked myself for that, she must think that I'm watching her or something weird like that. Great.

I took a seat next to Alli and I ate in silence as Alli and Jenna gossiped. I felt the table shift and I looked up from my disgusting meal to see a very poise girl with curly hair sit next to Alli. She pulled a salad from her bag carefully and grabbed a napkin, laying it out on her lap nice and smooth. She soon began to eat her salad peacefully.

Alli looked over to me and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Clare. Fiona can be so RUDE sometimes." Alli said loud enough for Fiona to hear. Fiona looked up from her salad and blushed slightly. She reached her long pale hand over to me.

"Hello. I'm Fiona. Fiona Coyne." Fiona said, introducing herself. I smiled slightly and shook her cold hand.

"Hi.. I'm Clare." I said. Fiona nodded and returned back to eating her salad.

I looked back to Jenna to see that her spot was actually empty. I looked around the cafeteria for her and saw that she was with some guy not too far from us. The guy had light brown hair and brown hair, tall guy and a huge goofy smile. Jenna was talking and giggling around him, they looked like a couple. But they couldn't be.. Jenna was kissing Eli, Eli was kissing Jenna. Obviously Eli and Jenna were dating. But my thoughts were wrong as I saw Jenna reach up on her tip toes to kiss the guy on his smiling lips, his arms wrapping around her waist and holding her close. A very passionate and couple-like kiss. So these two _were _together.

At this moment my brain was pretty jumbled. So far, I had heard Jenna and Eli making out and now she was kissing some other guy? Wasn't that considered cheating? Was she cheating on Eli? Or on this guy? Either way.. Jenna was cheating and in public. Quickly realizing that this was **NONE** of my business I returned back to my gross food.

Moments passed and Jenna returned to the table with a huge smile on her face.

"Kissing KC again, Jenna?" Alli said in a teasing tone. Jenna rolled her eyes.

"Shut it, Alli. Of course we were kissing." Jenna said in a harsh way. Alli smiled smugly.

"Eventually you know who will find out, Jenna." Alli said. Jenna looked puzzled as she looked at Alli.

"You know who..? Are you referring to those stupid wizard books?" Jenna said in a disgusted voice. Alli rolled her eyes.

"No, Jenna. Look over there." Alli said, nodding to her right. Out from the corner of my eye I saw who Alli was talking about, Eli had walked into the cafeteria with another guy with spiked black hair. I saw as KC walked over to them and did some sort of special handshake with Eli, so they were friends.. This was equally awkward.

Jenna's eyes widened.

"Alli.. I told you to never say a word." Jenna said in a hushed voice, probably hoping that me or Fiona wouldn't hear. Alli sighed.

"Jenna.. KC's gonna find out sometime. Guys like to brag. Guys like Eli." Alli explained in a equal hush voice.

Out of curiosity, I looked up to see that Eli had made his way over to Jenna with KC and another guy not too far behind. Eli scoffed at Alli's words and cleared his throat. Alli and Jenna both looked at him, their eyes widening. Eli smirked and pulled a chair out and instead of sitting down, he stood on it.

"Student body of Degrassi!" Eli yelled, everyone in the cafeteria placed their eyes on him. Eli looked down at Alli and grew a smug look on his face.

"Ladies and Gentledicks of Degrassi. It has been brought to my attention that some shit may be spread around, Degrassi about me and I'm not here yelling that its not true, but I feel like I should return this favor to Miss Alli Bhandari." Eli explained. I looked over at Alli panicked and her face turned red, I could tell she wanted to bolt out of there.

"As you all know, last semester, Alli and my boy, Drew Torres broke up. So sad right?" Eli said. Alli looked as if she was about to cry.

"Eli.. Please.. I wasn't gonna say a word." Alli pleaded. Eli scoffed looking down at Alli and murmured.

"You're just a piece of dog shit, Miss." Eli spat lowly. Alli sank back into her seat next to me. Eli stood up straight and smirked.

"Well.. The real reason behind that breakup was because Miss Alli here enjoyed-ahem, well Alli here enjoyed kissing other guys behind my man, Drew's back." Eli announced loudly. Some gasps and giggles were heard through the cafeteria. I looked over at Drew, I guess that was his name and he just shook his head at Eli and looked down without a word.

I looked over at Alli who was already crying, she scooted from her seat and ran from the cafeteria in tears. I yelled, "Alli!" and quickly went after her ignoring looks from Jenna, Fiona and Eli.

I slowly pushed open the girls washroom door, immediately the strong smell of perfume hit my nose, making me gag. I walked into the washroom and looked to see a girl with big curly hair and in extremely high heels spraying perfume on and holding a cigarette in her hand. She looked at me through the mirror and scoffed.

"Looking at something, new girl?" The girl spat. I gulped and shook my head, averting my eyes to the ground.

"Well.. No one just walks into the washroom for no reason. Either you're here to take a piss or do your hair and makeup. And by the looks of it.. I'm guessing you need to do your makeup?" The girl asked. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion.

"..No.. I came in here to see if Alli was alright." I said. The girl sighed and cocked a brow.

"Figures. Classic clichéd friendship moment. You find Alli crying in a bathroom stall, you guys have a heart to heart and then strengthen your friendship." The girl said. I placed my hands on my hips."And you know all of this how..?" I asked with a bit more sass than I meant. The girl scoffed and put her perfume down and threw her cigarette in the sink, turning the water on to burn it out. She spun on her heel and came face to face with me.

"Listen here.." The girl stumbled for words and I stammered,

"Clare.. My name is Clare." I said. The girl had this smug look on her face.

"Such a sweet and innocent name.. Clare. Sounds like a name of a person who wouldn't do anything bad, am I right, _Clare?"_ The girl asked, getting closer to me. I could smell the heavily smell of smoke come from her breath, making me want to gag. Instead I just nodded at her words. The girl nodded and stepped back.

"You seem squeamish. Like.. A tweaked out rabbit." The girl said with disgust. She walked back to collect her black purse, she slung the purse over her shoulder and looked at me.

"My name's Bianca by the way. Bianca De Sousa in case you're wondering." Bianca said. I didn't say anything, I just looked down at my shoes. Bianca sighed and brushed past me for the door, once it closed I looked up and heard something clang from one of the bathroom stalls. I took slow steps down the row of stalls.

"A-Alli?" I stammered. I heard nothing. As I walked down the row more, I saw a phone by one of the stalls, which was closed. I picked up the phone and out of curiosity, unlocked it to see a picture of Alli and Fiona as the background. I smiled slightly, knowing that Alli was beyond the door. I turned towards the door and knocked on it.

"Alli?" I asked. This time, I heard sniffles and a slight yelp. I sighed and leaned against the stall.

"Alli.. Is what Eli said in the cafeteria true?" I asked in a small voice. I heard more sniffles and more weight again the door, Alli must have been leaning against it as well.

"Yeah.. Eli.. He was right. I-I cheated on Drew last semester at a party." Alli explained in a whisper. I looked down, twirling her phone in my hands.

"Well.. Why would Eli even say something personal like that in front of the student body?" I asked. Alli groaned.

"Because the asshole thought I was gonna spread the word around that he and Jenna have been hooking up behind KC's back.. I mean sure its true, I know you heard me and Jenna's conversation, right, Clare?" Alli asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. I heard it. Jenna whispers pretty loud." I said. Alli sniffled again.

"Yeah.. I know. I'm pretty sure Fiona knows too, unless she zoned out again, but.. Anyway. Eli thought I was gonna say that he and Jenna have been hooking up, so he did the most douche bag thing ever and just say what I did to Drew at that party." Alli explained. I placed a hand on the door.

"Oh Alli.. I'm so sorry." I apologized. Alli sighed.

"Its no big deal, Clare. Eventually everyone would have known anyway. Drew would have opened his mouth like he use too and just tell everyone that I cheated on him." Alli said. I felt the lock shift on the door and I stepped away to see a red faced Alli emerge from the stall. She had her green bag slung on her shoulder and looked up at me with red eyes.

"Already your first day at Degrassi and you already learn a personal secret." Alli said lightly, trying to lift the mood. I chuckled.

"Yeah. I guess so. Is this school as bad though?" I asked. Alli shrugged.

"It just matters on what type of drama you're into, Clare." Alli simply said.

"But what if I'm into no drama?" I asked, Alli giggled and started walking towards the sinks. "Oh Clare.. At Degrassi you're gonna have drama. Whether it be mild or severe. You'll have some sort of drama here." Alli explained while wiping her face with a paper towel.

Once Alli was done, I returned her phone to her and she smiled at the background."So.. You and Fiona are pretty close right?" I asked as Alli pushed the washroom door open. Alli nodded."Yep. Even though she's a couple years older than me, we're still friends. She's really cool when she isn't zoning out." Alli said with a smile, I returned the smile.

As we walked down the hall in silence, I saw Eli and Drew standing by the lockers, Eli nodded his head towards us in a smug way, I quickly threw him a dirty look which was very out of character for even me and Eli was thrown off by it, but he returned to his smug demeanor. I groaned.

"He can be so-" Alli quickly cut me off.

"Asshole? Douchebag? Dick? Prick? Yeah, he pretty much is." Alli said as we turned down another hall.

"Just.. Don't go for him. Alright, Clare?" Alli asked. I nodded."Of course.. Plus I don't wanna date during high school anyway." I said. Alli scrunched her face up."And why is that?" Alli asked. I shrugged. "Grades. I don't wanna be distracted by a boy, Alli." I explained quickly. "Ahh.. I catch you there, Clare." Alli agreed in a way.

The bell shrilled and Alli gave me a quick hug. "Thanks Clare. I'll call you later, okay?" Alli said before rushing off to her next class.

I sighed and turned around, almost running into someone."Watch where you're going freak." Eli spat. I looked up to see him glaring down at me, before he shouldered me to get to his class. I looked back at him and shook off the feeling to go after him and ask him what his problem was. But to be honest, that isn't any of my business.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews guys. (: I appreciate it a lot. :3


	3. Such Great Pain

_Clare's Point of View:_

I sat in the passenger seat of Darcy's car, with the window rolled down, I felt the air hit my face nicely. I closed my eyes and stuck my hand out , feeling the cool air against my bare hand. It was a nice moment, a moment I wanted to last forever. Although I felt the window start to roll up and I quickly opened my eyes and pulled my hand back in. I looked over at Darcy distressed to see that she was pressing a button in her car to roll the window up. She looked over at me, I couldn't even see her eyes while she wore those overly sized sunglasses. "You don't need the goddamn window open, Clare. Its not hot." Darcy said harshly. I sighed. "Sorry Darcy." I apologized. "I just liked the feeling of the cool air.. I'm sorry." I apologized again in a small voice. Darcy groaned and stopped the car abruptly, sending me to fly forward in my seat, but luckily the seatbelt locked and sent me back into the seat. I looked up to see that it was Eli and Drew jaywalking across the dead street. Darcy quickly rolled her window down and stuck her head out."You know, there is a thing called a crosswalk. Use it sometime, assholes!" Darcy yelled. Eli stopped in his tracks and walked towards us, Drew was on his heels. Darcy stuck her head back in as Eli crouched down to look at us. I quickly turned the other way, putting my book in front of my face to hide my face and curls.

"Who's your little friend, Darce?" Eli asked in a smug voice. Darcy scoffed.

"None of your goddamn business. Now run along home with your friend." Darcy said quickly, I could tell she wanted to get out of here, I couldn't blame her, I wanted to get out of here too.

"Aw.. Well Darce, I was hoping me and Drew could catch a lift from you. You know, Morty's broken down again and I'm forced to walk home, I just want a lift from a cute girl." Eli said in a flirty tone. Darcy groaned."Ugh. Eli. You're sixteen. Stop hitting on me. Declan's not gonna approve of that very well." Darcy said annoyed. Eli clicked his tongue."Declan? I thought you said he was some rich kid snob. That you didn't wanna be around such a conceited asshole." Eli asked.

"Well he's better than you." Darcy spat. I bit the inside of my cheek to hide my smile that wanted to creep on my face."Ouch Darce.. That hurt." Eli said. "But whatever. I'll just walk home with Drew here. But if you ever get tired of Declan.. You know where to reach me." Eli said.

Once I heard the window roll up, I carefully removed the book from my face. I looked out the window to see that Eli and Drew were already out of sight down the street. Darcy continued to drive and I sighed."Who's Declan?" I asked. Darcy shrugged."Just a guy." Darcy answered. "Is he your.. Boyfriend?" I asked curiously. I wanted to know more. Hearing Eli bring him up, I wanted to know more.

"No.. I mean yes. Ugh. I don't know, Clare. Declan and me.. We're very.. I don't know.. Ugh. Why do you even care?" Darcy asked annoyed. I shrugged.

"I don't know.. Sounds interesting." I said. Darcy most likely rolled her eyes."Well. If you ever see him at Degrassi, don't say anything about me to him. Don't even say that we know each other, okay? I don't need people to know that you're my new sister.. Especially Declan." Darcy said in a somewhat strained voice. I nodded."Alright, Darcy." I said in a small voice.

The rest of the car drive home was quiet. Just the way it needed to be.

Arriving home I was on Darcy's trail as we walked inside. Darcy dropped her purse on the couch and threw herself on the couch, pulling her laptop off the table and logging on, sticking her headphones in and going into her own little world.

I trudged into the kitchen to see that Helen was at the table on her iPhone. She looked up at me and her smile faltered. "Bad first day?" Helen asked sympathetically. I shook my head.

"I really don't wanna talk about it, Helen. Sorry." I said quickly as I bolted up the stairs. I swung open my bedroom door and flung myself on my bed. I looked to my right to see the snow globe I brought with me from the orphanage. I pushed thoughts of Eli from my mind and picked the snow globe up and tipped it over, watching the white flakes swirl around the snowman. I smiled slightly looking at the happy snowman. He was my only friend at the orphanage, looks like he'll be my only friend at home as well.

_Eli's Point of View:_

I walked down the deserted street with Drew walking next to me. I bent down, picked up a rock and threw it as far as I could down the street, I heard it clang farther down the street and I smiled. "My aim's getting better. Who knows. Maybe I'll be able to join the football team like you did." I said with a chuckle as I looked at Drew. Drew didn't say anything, he just looked down as we walked. I sighed. "Dude. I was kidding. As if I'd join a team filled with guys with tiny brains and steroid bodies. That's not my thing." I reassured Drew. Drew just shrugged and continued to not say a word. I groaned.

"Are you pissed off because of what happened in the café today?" I asked annoyed. Drew looked at me from the corner of his eye and just shrugged, looking back down at the ground that we walked on. I sighed.

"Look dude. Alli was gonna spill the beans about me and Jenna. I couldn't let Alli do that, so I just had to give her a taste of her own medicine. Nothing big." I explained, looking over at Drew.

Drew sighed and spoke softly.

"Alli was really upset though."

I groaned loudly.

"Please don't tell me you still have feelings for that harlot? The whore cheated on you last semester. She doesn't deserve you man." I said truthfully.

"But.. But.. I still lo-" I quickly cut Drew off before he could say the forbidden word.

"Drew! Don't even, bro. Don't ever say the L word. Never. It means nothing bro. Its just a stupid made up word that women made up to feel loved. But it never means shit." I said angrily. Drew didn't say another word as we walked back to my place. Either my words were sinking into his head.. Or he was just thinking again. Nowadays.. I never know.

I opened the front door to my house with Drew on my heels. Immediately I saw Cece in the living room, a little hesitant.

"H-Hi honey." Cece said softly. I had that heart stopping feeling. She was never this hesitant unless something bad was gonna happen.

"Mom? What happened..?" I asked slowly. I looked around, looking for broken glasses or picture frames. Something that indicated that something bad had already happened.

"Maybe Drew should go home, honey. Uhm.. Your father isn't very pleased right now." Cece said softly. Before I could even ask why he was, I heard stomping coming downstairs. Bullfrog was surely angry, he stopped midway down the stairs and looked at me coldly in the eye."Tell your little friend, goodbye, Eli. We need to talk." Bullfrog said angrily. I gulped and looked back to see that Drew was looking down away from Bullfrog.

"But.. Dad. Me and Drew we were gonna study and shit. I-" I was quickly cut off my Bullfrog's loud groan.

"Don't you pull that studying shit with me, Elijah! I know you guys will go to your room and jack off to those goddamn playboys like every goddamn day! Don't you think for one damn second that I'm stupid, because I'm not!" Bullfrog roared. Cece quickly came by me and Drew and Bullfrog yelled.

"Cecelia! Don't you **even **try to protect him!" Bullfrog shouted. Cece nodded and trudged into the kitchen with Drew right behind her.

I gulped and followed Bullfrog upstairs. I threw my backpack onto my bed in my room. I watched Bullfrog close the door and turned around to look at me.

"I got a call today. A call from the principal. You've been ditching some of your classes?" Bullfrog roared. I shrugged. "Yeah.. I'm not gonna sit here and just lie to your face. I've been ditching my classes. There. You heard it from me." I admitted smugly. Bullfrog flared his nostrils angrily.

"Why though, Eli? You're gonna fail High School! You're not gonna make it out there in the real world! What the fuck goes through that dumbass head of yours! Are you too busy getting drunk or high to think of your choices, Elijah?" Bullfrog yelled. I shrugged. "I just don't fucking care, dad. I never did. I never will." I said harshly. Bullfrog temper started to rise more, his nostrils flaring and his hands balling into fists.

"I didn't wanna do this, Eli.. But I'm gonna have to teach you somehow that you need to respect me and start to get back on track at school." Bullfrog said in the calmest voice he could muster. Oh shit. I knew what he was gonna do. I knew it. He hasn't done it in a while since the past weeks I've been escaping from home and hanging with KC or Drew.

"Dad.. Please don't. I-I swear I'll be good. I won't disobey you!" I shouted. Bullfrog raised his fist and scoffed.

"As if." Then his fist landed in my face and I toppled backwards onto the floor, face first, I couldn't even feel the pain from the punch since my face was numb. I tried standing up, but soon his foot landed in my gut which sent me back onto the ground. I let out a yelp, but that didn't stop him from continuing to hurt me even more.

_Drew's Point of View:_

"Oh God.. My poor baby." Cece murmured in a pained voice. I looked over at her to see that she was crying heavily at every yelp or scream Eli let out from upstairs.

"I told him not too.. I told him not too.." Cece murmured to herself, she must have forgotten that I was next to her. That was alright, everyone always forgot that I was there with them. I heard the loudest scream come from upstairs and it made Cece jump slightly and just cry even more. I quickly bolted for the door, ignoring Cece calling out my name. I ran fast and quick down the sidewalk. Something I hadn't done in a while, but soon I collided into someone, sending me backwards.

"Ugh. Watch where you're walking." A familiar female voice said. I gulped and looked up to see that Alli was brushing dirt off her dress, once she saw that it was me, she sighed.

"Sorry Drew. Here, let me help you-" Alli bent down to collect some things that had fallen from my bag, but I quickly grabbed what I saw to stuff into my bag.

"No no no no. I got this!" I shouted. Alli looked at me dumbfounded."Drew.. Are you okay? Look I'm sorry about today." Alli apologized. I shook my head and slung my backpack over my shoulder, obviously leaving some items behind and just continued to run.

_Eli's Point of View:_

I laid down on the floor, clutching at my stomach. It hurt. Everything. Hurt. I could hear the sink going off in the bathroom, most likely Bullfrog trying to get the blood off his hands. I winced as I tried to reach for my phone which had scattered to the end of the room. I grabbed it and quickly dialed the first number I saw. I needed to get out of here, no matter who I called, I needed to get out now. After a few rings, the person answered.

"Hello?" Darcy answered. I immediately kicked myself mentally. Did I just call Darcy? What the actual fuck. But hey.. I needed to stay someplace and KC's shitty apartment with his mom was a no go and Drew's depressing house was another no go. Looks like this was my actual last resort.

"D-Darcy?" I tried to say, took me a few tries, but I said it. There was a pause."Eli? Is this you? Why the hell are you calling me? Is this some sick joke because I am not pleased." Darcy said annoyed. I winced.

"No.. D-Darce.. I ne-need somewhere to stay." I whispered. More silence."Eli.. What happened? Are you okay?" Darcy asked alarmed. So now she believed me.

"Just.. Shit happened alright? I'm pretty busted up and I can't really move without screaming.. I just need to get out of my house, Darce." I said in the most pained voice that ever hit Darcy's ears. Darcy sighed.

"Fine. I'll come by and get you. Will your parents mind?" Darcy asked. I gulped and listened downstairs instinctively. Bullfrog must have been gone or the TV would have been gone and Cece must be in the bedroom trying to relax.

"No.. They-They won't mind, Darce.. Just please come and get me. I just need a place to stay for one night and my ann-annoying ass will be gone by tomorrow morning." I promised. Darcy sighed.

"Alright then. Stay where you are. I'll come and get you and bring you back to my place." Darcy said. I smiled slightly, but it hurt."Thanks Darce." I said, but before I could say anymore, the line went dead, groaning, I tried to pick myself up, but I wounded up collapsing back on the floor. This sucked.

_Clare's Point of View:_

Out of nowhere, my door swung open, I looked up from my notebook to see Darcy standing in my room, she charged over to me and spat.

"Listen. I'm having a friend stay over for the night. Now I want you to stay in this room all night and part of the morning. I don't want this friend knowing that you're my sister and that you live with me. Got it, Clare?"

I gulped and nodded.

"Yeah.. I got it Darce. I'll just stay in my room all night and not come out of my room." I said. Darcy nodded and straightened up.

"Don't make too much noise either. I don't want them thinking we got an extra person living here either. So keep everything quiet." Darcy added. I nodded. Darcy sighed and left the room, closing the door shut behind her. I looked down at my notebook, I didn't even know what I was even sketching, I was just allowing my hands to draw freely, immediately I gasped at who I had drawn. Big mouth, dark brown hair, a clear smirk across the face. I quickly closed the notebook and threw it under my bed. I couldn't draw him, ever.

Many minutes passed when I heard the front door open, I heard Darcy's voice immediately.

"Okay. Just lay there on the couch, I'll get you some ice for those nasty bruises you have."

After that, I couldn't really hear anything but a low incoherent mumble. More moments passed when I heard Darcy's voice again.

"Here you go. Ugh. What even happened, Eli? You look so busted up." Darcy said in a bit of a pained voice, but wait.. Eli? She brought, Eli home.

".. Thanks Darce. Ugh. I got this by.. Uhm.. I was playing football with Drew. The fucker has a good aim and hit me pretty good in the face and stomach." Eli said, his voice sounded weak. I stood up and put my ear by the door, listening intently.

"God. The kid must have a good aim. Well.. At least he's starting to be more open now. I've barely heard the kid say a word since what happened last semester." Darcy said. Eli merely yelped. I winced myself hearing someone else in pain. Sure Eli can be mean and rude, but no one deserves pain and obviously he's in great pain.

"Look. Can I take your guest room for the night? I don't wanna mess my back up by sleeping on this couch." Eli asked. I froze. I was in the guest room.. Well it had turned into my bedroom.

"Uh.. Uh.. No. Uhm.. I mean.. My mom put a bunch of crap in there and its cluttered. Looks like you'll have to sleep on the couch tonight." Darcy stammered. I gulped. Eli sighed heavily"Fine.. I'll sleep here for tonight. Just thanks for letting me stay here, Darce." Eli thanked Darcy. That was just odd.. Him apologizing.

"No problem, Eli. I'll let you rest. Just holler for me if you need me, I'll be in my room, If I don't answer, holler for Helen, she'll take care of you." Darcy said. After a muffled sound, Darcy retreated upstairs, I quickly scattered back to my bed and pulled my notebook out to a brand new page, pretending to sketch something else. I heard the door open and I looked to see Darcy peeking in.

"Just making sure you're still in here." Darcy murmured before closing the door and retreating back to her room. I sighed and looked down at the blank page, instead of sketching something new, I flipped back to the previous page. To seeing his face that I sketched. A surprising smile creeped up on my lips. But I quickly faltered the smile and closed the notebook, throwing it under my bed once again. I couldn't be thinking of him like that. I already knew him for one day and he was already bad news to me. It had to stay that way.

* * *

Three different point of views! I'll be trying to add more point of views as well. (: Thanks for the reviews guys, I enjoy them. :3


	4. Feed the Hunger

_Clare's Point of View:_

I spent the majority of that night in my room. I laid there in bed, in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling. It felt awkward to sleep in this house with Eli just asleep downstairs. It wasn't the same to me. I sat up in bed as soon as I heard a knock on my door.

"Hello? Anyone in there?" It was Eli. Oh God. I didn't say a word as I rolled off the bed and immediate pulled myself under the bed.

After a few moments I heard the door creak open and I saw Eli walk in. "Ugh. Darcy lied. It isn't crowded in here at all." Eli said in a weak voice. I heard him wince as he walked over to the bed. He stood by the bedside table and he started going through the drawers, picking up my stuff. All my pens, my paper, anything valuable in there. Then he came across my diary. No.

"Heh. A diary? Whoever stays here has a diary? Is this Darcy's?" Eli asked himself, he tried to pick at the lock, but no avail. He scoffed.

"Stupid locks on diaries. Its not like I wanna read her and Declan's sex filled dreams anyway. Gross." Eli complained as he shoved the diary back into the drawer. I felt the bed shift as he sat on it.

"Stupid fucking house. Stupid fucking everything." Eli said in a low voice. He was obviously talking to himself.

"I hate it here. I hate it there. I hate it fucking everywhere. I wish everyone including me could just disappear. I'd be.. Happy." Eli whispered.

"Everything is fucked though. That shit won't happen. This isn't some Houdini crap. This is fucking reality. Shit's gonna happen." Eli said.

For the strangest reason, I wanted to crawl from the underneath the bed and just comfort Eli. Even though he can be rude and mean.. he was going through a lot from what I heard. I felt really bad. But I didn't. I stayed where I was.

The bed shifted and I saw Eli limp his way back to the door and before he opened the door he mumbled.

"Such a girly room. Who the fuck would stay here? I'd vomit from all the pink and purple." Eli spat before leaving the room.

Once the door clicked, I crawled from the bed and brushed the dust off of me. I started looking into my drawers, seeing if he stole anything, he didn't, he just threw everything back in here messily. I spent the next fifteen minutes reorganizing my pencils, papers, my diary, all my personal belongings. I stood up and looked at my bedside table. My lamp was still there, off of course. The ipod Helen bought me still sat on its Bose unused of yet. My new cell phone sat behind the lamp, unseen. But something was missing. I couldn't quite put my finger on it until later. When I realized what was missing, I slightly gasped and sighed.

My snow globe was missing.

Eli stole my snow globe.

The next morning, I was awoken by the loud buzz that came from my phone. I yawned and grabbed my phone, turning off the alarm, I sat the phone back down and sat up. I saw the light coming from the crack in my curtains. After getting out of bed, I quickly put on my clothes and curled my hair the way Helen showed me too with a curling iron. I put on a bit of lip gloss and slung my bag over my shoulder. I was ready to walk out the door when Darcy came marching in, she closed the door and looked at me.

"Did you let Eli in here last night?" Darcy asked. I gulped and shook my head.

"No.. I didn't let him in here, Darcy." I said softly. Darcy scoffed.

"That's bullshit. Eli bitched at me this morning saying that the guest room was open and now he's pissed that I didn't let him sleep in here." Darcy said bitterly. "So why would you even let him in here when I told you not too?" Darcy asked.

"I didn't let him in here. He walked in and I hid under the bed. He went through my stuff for about twenty minutes before leaving and going back to the couch." I said. Darcy sighed.

'Well.. Whatever he did. At least he doesn't know you live here. Thank god mom doesn't have any pictures of you hanging around either, that's just creepy, but anyway. Just try to avoid that situation again." Darcy said, she spun for the door when I reached out to grab her arm, but she jerked back.

"What?" Darcy spat.

"Are you driving me to school today?" I asked. Darcy scoffed.

"Uh no. Hello. I have Eli waiting for me to drop him off downstairs. You'll need to find a ride another way." Darcy said with a smug look. "Have fun." Darcy said before leaving my room. I groaned and after a couple minutes I left my room and looked downstairs to check if Darcy and Eli were gone.

They were.

I walked into the kitchen to see Helen twirling car keys.

"Looks like I'll be driving you to school today." Helen said with a smile. I sighed.

"I guess you are." I said. Helen walked over to me and planted a kiss on my cheek."I'm sorry that Darcy is ashamed of you sweetheart. Darcy's just.. Still trying to get use to everything. Eventually it will all sink in for her and she'll accept you." Helen reassured me. I shrugged.

"Time to get you to school so you can get your learning on!" Helen said cheerfully. I groaned."Just please get to me to school, Helen. Please." I begged. Helen smiled and we walked out the front door together.

I tried my best to walk through the huge mass of people walking down the hall after many "excuse me's" later I made it to my locker. I pulled my locker combination out and started to open my locker when I heard a some voices by me.

"What's with the sunglasses, Goldsworthy? You look like some Hollywood douche bag." KC said. I looked from the corner of my eye that KC had walked up to Eli with Jenna. Eli was indeed wearing oversized sunglasses.. That were Darcy's. Oh God.

"I have sensitive eyes, douche bag." Eli spat. KC chuckled.

"Are you hiding something behind those shades, man?" KC teased. Eli scoffed.

"No. Stop bugging me about it dude." Eli said in a harsh tone.

Soon I heard the sound of something clanging in the ground. I look down to see that Darcy's sunglasses that Eli was wearing were on the ground, broken. Jenna placed a hand over her mouth in shock and KC widened his eyes as his smile faltered.

KC quickly scattered to pick up the broken sunglasses.

"I'm so sorry man. I.. I didn't think that you were hiding that big of a black eye. Goddamn." KC murmured as he handed the broken pieces to Eli. Eli shoved them out of his hand.

"Just go, KC. Jenna you too. I wanna be alone right now." Eli said angrily. KC nodded and started to pull Jenna away, but Jenna stayed put and put a hand forward towards Eli's face.

"What happened, Eli? Why is it so bruised? You can barely open your eye." Jenna said concerned. Eli swatted her hand away though. "Don't Jenna. Just go off with KC." Eli muttered lowly. Jenna sighed and walked off with KC.

I realized that I was still staring at Eli when he looked at me and snapped.

"Wanna take a picture or something? It'll last you longer."

I gulped and looked back at my locker before I could stare longer at his nasty black eye. It was swollen badly and purple around the edges. It looked horrible.

I slammed my locker shut loudly and I heard some books fall and I saw it had scared Eli. I quickly bent down to help him pick them up.

"I'm so sorry." I apologized. Eli swatted my hands away.

"Don't even fucking apologize, freak. What the fuck is wrong with you though?" Eli spat.

I furrowed my brows.

"I.. Don't understand.. What did I do that was so bad?" I asked in a small voice. Eli groaned.

"Don't pull that dumb shit on me, freak. You slam your locker around here like its alright or some shit like that! That isn't cool!" Eli said loudly.

"I'm so sorry, Eli. I didn't think it would scare you." I apologized again.

Eli scoffed.

"Don't apologize. Just fucking admit that it was a shit thing to do." Eli said. I gulped and looked down at my shoes.

"I'm waiting." Eli said impatiently. I shrugged."Uhm.. It was a bad thing to do." I said. Eli scoffed.

"No. No. That won't work, freak. I want you to say **'That was a fucked thing to do.'**" Eli said with a smirk. I gasped softly.

"I don't curse, Eli. I'm not gonna say the F word." I said in a small voice.

Eli's smirk turned into a grimace.

"Do it. Or I'll tell the whole school that you're some nasty slut with a social disease." Eli said. I groaned and sighed.

"Fine, me slamming my locker was a fucked thing to do." I cursed. I bit my lip afterwards.

I looked up to see Eli smirking.

"Nice language there, freak. There's always a first for everything." Eli said before walking off.

I hadn't even realized that the bell had rung.

Sigh.

_Drew's Point of View:_

I sat in the gym watching as KC and Dave Turner played basketball against together. I remember when I did that. When I was a jock. An athlete. A jerk. A asshole.

I was so fucked up.

I'm still fucked up.

I'm just a fuck up that doesn't use his voice.

"Hey man! You can't just take the ball and run!" Dave yelled.

I looked up to see that KC had stolen the ball and instead of dribbling, he was running around hugging it.

I smiled slightly at the scene before me.

"Hey. The ladies are here." Dave said with a smile. I looked up to see that Jenna had walked in with Alli. The new girl that Eli taunts, Clare was walking close behind holding a book to her chest like she could hide behind it.

Jenna immediately ran up to KC and stole his basketball.

"Its my turn." Jenna started to run with the basketball and ran out of the gym. KC chortled.

"Oh that girl is gonna get it." KC soon chased after her. Dave looked at them in despair."Oh come on guys! I just wanted to play basketball!" Dave chased after them as well. I felt odd alone in the gym with just Alli and Clare in here. Clare mumbled something in Alli's ear and Alli nodded as Clare walked off and into the girl's washroom.

This just made it more awkward.

Alli walked over to me and I grabbed my backpack ready to sling it over my shoulder when Alli rushed over to me, placing her hand on my arm.

"Drew. Stop." Alli murmured.

Her touch was amazing. I could remember when we'd always touch last semester.

During kisses.

During make outs.

During our first time together.

So many moments.

Those moments ended when Alli removed her hand from me and sat down.

"Sit down, Drew. I wanna talk." Alli said. I groaned and sat next to her.

"What about?" I asked in a small voice.

Alli reached into her bag and pulled out a needle.

My heart God. She found it.

"Yesterday when we bumped into each other, _this _fell out of your bag.. Uhm.. I was wondering if you were doing drugs?" Alli asked.

I immediately grabbed the needle from her hand and shoved it in my bag.

"None of your damn business, Alli." I spat. Alli sat there in shock.

"Drew. No one carries a needle around for no damn reason, unless they're into drugs. Are you shooting up heroin?" Alli asked concerned. I scoffed."No Alli. Anyway it isn't your damn problem." I said harshly.

I quickly walked off before Alli could say another word. I started to run.

Fast.

Faster.

I ran past KC and Jenna who were fighting over a basketball. KC yelled something after me but I ignored it and just continued.

I allowed my feet to take me wherever.

And that place was a grave.

Out of breath and I leaned forward, placing my hands on my knees as I leaned forward. Once I was able to catch my breath I threw my backpack on the ground and sat down before the grave."Hey bro.." I said softly.

The wind rustled slightly and I looked at the name engraved into the grave.

_Adam Torres._

I gulped and started messing with my hands.

"I-I miss you bro.. I know it's been four months since what happened. Since.. Since you left us." I stammered.

More silence passed by.

"I love you.. No matter that you were transgender.. You were always a brother to me." I said.

Then I felt the urge come over me again.

The hungry urge.

I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulder and murmured."Sorry Adam. I have too.. You know I have too.. I love you.. I'm sorry. Bye."

And like that I was off again.

Off to feed the hunger.


	5. A Different Side of Him

_Eli's Point of View:_

The pass three days have been quite easy. Nothing big has happened. I've returned back to my house that day after sleeping at Darcy's, not to see my dad, but because I couldn't stand to see my mom cry.

Seeing Cece cry was torture and she knew me well enough to use it against me. Which was of course unfair, but also I didn't wanna be staying at Darcy's either, Darcy seemed so hesitant and uneasy in her own house, always looking upstairs. Like some big secret is in the house.

Whatever.

None of my damn business anyway.

I opened my locker to pull out my English textbook, shoving it in my backpack, but I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around quickly to find myself face to face with the freak herself, Clare.

"What do you want?" I spat as I looked down at Clare. I hadn't realized how small and little she really was. I shouldn't even being realizing that. Clare swallowed and reached into her bag, pulling out a pair of sunglasses. The same sunglasses that Darcy had let me borrow three days ago when my black eye had been unbearable to look at.

"I uhm.. I glued them back together for you." Clare said in a small voice. I scrunched my eyebrows together.

"Why in the hell would you do that? I never asked you to." I scoffed. Clare shrugged and held out the sunglasses.

"Your black eye still looks pretty bad and I figured I'd do something nice for God and I chose to repair those sunglasses for you." Clare explained.

"God?" I asked in the most confused voice I could muster. Clare nodded.

"Yeah God. Lord almighty. Jesus Christ. Virgin Mary. All of those. It's my religion, Eli. I decided to be nice to God for all he has done for me and I decided to be a nice person because God likes to see that his creations are nice rather than mean." Clare said. I gulped and carefully took the sunglasses from Clare.

"Erm.. That's.. nice then." I said confused. Clare smiled slightly, showing some of her dimples.

"No problem. They should be useful to you as they were for Dar-" Before Clare could finish her sentence, KC strolled up with Jenna, his arm slung across her shoulders.

"Eli! How it goes?" KC said enthusiastically. I smirked.

"Pretty good, KC. Hey Jenna." I said, my voice softer when I said Jenna's name. Jenna smiled and bit her lip softly. A sign of what was to happen next period. For us anyway.

"Hey. Why is the new chick here?" KC asked looking at Clare. Jenna looked over at Clare and quickly put her head down, as if she was ashamed for even being social with Clare.

Immediately I scoffed and looked at Clare.

"Oh. She's just being a good little Christian and decided to preach her religion crap to me." I spat with a smirk.

Clare's smile fell from her face and was soon unreadable.

"Go preach your Jesus shit to Jesus club." KC teased. "I'm sure they'll _looooove _to hear about your little crush on Eli here. Isn't that a sin though? Crushing on a person? Will you being going to hell?" KC questioned. I snorted and looked at Clare, her face was still unreadable, but she scowled for the first time ever.

"If I go there, I'll be seeing you there." Clare spat before brushing past us and down the hall quickly. I looked at KC to see that his fists were clenched.

"That prude bitch. She needs to get fucking laid to calm her nerves." KC scoffed. Jenna placed her hand on KC's face.

"KC.. Baby calm down. Clare means no harm.. Sometimes." Jenna defended Clare. KC swatted Jenna's hands away.

"That's bullshit, Jenna. You hate that prude just as much as everyone else. You said so yourself. Remember?" KC said. Jenna gulped and nodded.

"Yeah.. I remember." Jenna said. KC rolled his eyes and looked at me.

"So. Are you going to Sav's party tonight?" KC asked with a smile. I shrugged."I don't know man. Maybe I'll just stay home and skip out on this party." I said as I shut my locker.

KC looked at me with his mouth gaped.

"Dude. You never miss a party. **Never.** Plus Sav RARELY has parties because of his 'rents." KC said. I sighed."Yeah, but.. My dad doesn't want me going out and all that shit. Wants me to stay home and study for tests." I said. KC snorted.

"Since when has your old man ever stopped you? You always go out anyway. Its who you are, Goldsworthy. Plus a party is never the same without you and your drunk tactics." KC said as he mock punched my arm, I held back a wince from the pain."Yeah.. I'll go then." I said with a smirk. KC smiled.

"That's my man. So I'll pick you up around seven? I'm sure I'll have Jenna and Drew with me too. See you tonight man!" KC yelled before walking off with his arm around Jenna's shoulders. I sighed and slung my backpack over my sore shoulder. A party was what I needed. A good drink or two was what I needed as well. The party wouldn't be a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all.

_Clare's Point of View:_

I walked into the cafeteria during lunch period with Alli and Fiona walking in front of me talking about their History quiz, well mostly Alli since Fiona prefers to just nod and hmm at everything.

Once we reached our table, I sat down and placed my head in my hands. I had a horrible headache that started in first period and hasn't left all day. Alli's ramble wasn't helping my headache either.

"So Clare. Are you going to Sav's party?" Alli asked. I looked up in confusion."What?" I asked. Alli smiled.

"My brother, Sav. He's throwing a party at our house. Our parents are at some Bollywood weekend thing. It's gonna be awesome. He said I could invite my friends if I wanted too, he only invited me because I threatened to tell mom and dad if he didn't, but anyway. I'm taking Fiona with me. Wanna come too?" Alli asked. I shrugged."I don't think so, Alli. I've never been to a party, they aren't my thing. They get loud and I don't think so." I murmured softly. Alli sighed.

"Come on, Clare. It'll be fun. Sav will make it fun with his awkwardness." Alli reassured me. I shrugged and soon I heard the same familiar voice I heard this morning.

"Oh God. Please don't tell me you're going to Sav's party?" Eli groaned. Alli turned around and scoffed.

"He's my brother and invited me asshole. Probably just invited you to see you get drunk and make a ass out of yourself." Alli spat. Eli scoffed at her words.

"Hah. As if. He invited me because he likes me. Unlike he HAD to invite you. Pretty retarded if you ask me." Eli said.

Alli than stood up from her seat and started arguing with Eli. I just groaned and laid my head on the table. My head was absolutely killing me. The instant throbbing pain was just terrible.

I felt a hand on my arm and I looked up slowly to see that Fiona was sitting next to me.

"Are you okay, Clare?" Fiona asked softly. I nodded and lifted my head."I just have a headache.. Nothing big." I whispered.

"You're cheeks are really red. Either you're blushing really hard or you have a fever." Fiona said and before I could tell her no, she already had her hands on my face.

"You're really warm, Clare. Maybe you should go home." Fiona said concerned. I shook my head and stood up.

"I-I just need something from my locker and I'll be fine." I said in a weak voice. I hadn't realized how wobbly my legs were, but I held onto the chair for support as I stood up.

"Clare? Where are you going?" Alli asked, stopping her argument with Eli. I shook my head."I'm going to get something I need from my locker." I said quietly as I tried to get past Alli, but she placed her hands on my face.

"Clare. Your face is burning up. You need to go to the nurses office." Alli said in the same concerned voice Fiona used.

I shook her hands away.

"No.. A-Alli I'm fi-fine. I'm just a little diz-" and before I could even finish my sentence, I felt more light headed and finally collapsed, although before I was completely under I felt strong arms catch me and hold me up, but before I could see who it was,

I was out.

My head was throbbing still. My body ached. I felt horrible. I opened my eyes and found myself lying on a cot in the nurses office.

I sat up slowly and saw Alli and Fiona standing in the doorway.

"Hey. You're finally awake." Fiona murmured softly. I groaned as I swung my legs over the bed and looked at them.

"What happened?" I asked weakly. Alli sighed.

"You were being stubborn and didn't wanna come here awake, but you winded up fainting from your fever in the cafeteria." Alli explained. I groaned.

"Oh God.. That's so embarrassing. I bet I hit the ground hard huh?" I asked softly. Alli shook her head."Actually no.. Eli caught you." Alli said. I scrunched my brows together.

"Eli caught me?" I questioned. Alli nodded and Fiona spoke up."And not only that, but he carried you into here too. Laid you right on the cot. I didn't know he was able to do something caring." Fiona murmured. Alli smiled at her and looked back to me.

"He's actually still talking to nurse explaining what happened. He felt like he knew what happened better than us. Whatever." Alli said. I hopped off the cot and felt a wave of dizziness overcome me.

Fiona and Alli rushed over to me, grabbing each of my arms and steadying me. They both slowly led me to the main office where Eli was talking to the nurse.

Eli looked over at us and walked over.

"Hey.. You look a bit better. Not so red faced." Eli said as he looked me over. He seemed kinder, more caring than the regular Eli that I know.

"Uhm. Thanks for er.. Catching me back there. A bump wouldn't be good with my headache anyway." I said. Eli nodded and quickly left the office without saying another word. "That was exceptionally weird." Fiona said. I nodded slowly.

"Are you going home? Or are you gonna stay here?" Alli asked looking at me.

"I'm gonna stay. Its just a headache nothing big." I said.

Alli looked at Fiona and Fiona raised a eyebrow, they didn't say anymore as we walked down the hall, but soon I saw my locker and stopped.

"You two can go to the cafeteria. I have to get something from my locker." I said.

Alli and Fiona nodded before walking off into the cafeteria.

I walked up to my locker and unlocked it, I rummaged around until I found what I needed in the back of the locker.

A bottle of pills and a water bottle.

I quickly unscrewed the pill cap and shook out two pills and I popped the two pills in my mouth and took a gulp of the last of my water.

I shoved my pills back in my locker and threw my bottle away. The pills were suppose to kick into affect and start making my fever go away and my headache to disappear, but it didn't work.

I slid down the locker and pressed my head against the cool lockers, but my fever had warmed them immediately.

I closed my eyes and swallowed, feeling how dry my throat really was.

I heard footsteps down the hall, but I didn't bother opening my eyes or moving. I didn't wanna move.

Whoever was walking down the hall stopped in front of me and I slowly opened my eyes to see it was Eli.

"You okay?" Eli asked, his voice held some concern. I shrugged.

"I'm fine. I'm just resting." I said, closing my eyes again.

Surprisingly, I felt his hands on my forehead. I quickly opened my eyes at his touch, he was kneeling in front of me.

"You're really warm, Clare." Eli said. I didn't even try to shake his hands off my face, all I did was look at him and smile.

"You called me, Clare." I mumbled. I could see that Eli smiled back, an actual smile. Something I had not seen.

Soon I was scooped into Eli's arms again, instead of fighting him, I just leaned my head onto his shoulder, I was too weak and tired to even fight him.

I knew that later when I was coherent and not half asleep, I would realize that this was dumb, but I was okay in his arms. They were warm.

Before I knew it, I was asleep.

I found myself awake hours later, looking at a picture.

An old tattered picture.

It was a picture of me and my real parents.. Before they died.

I was about six or seven in the picture, I looked happy with them.

Really happy.

But they certainly weren't.

My mom died of having HIV. It officially turned into AIDS and her medication didn't work anymore, she eventually lived her days out in her bed, slowly dying.

My dad couldn't deal with my mom's death, so days after her death, he handed me off to the orphanage and took off.

And to this day I have no clue where he's at.

But I find myself angry with them, mostly my mother. Mostly for what she's done to me.

She was a nice mom, very caring, very loving, I remember that clearly.

It was just that she gave me her disease.

She gave me her HIV when I was in her womb.

I'm infected because of the things she use to do before marrying my father.

I saw tears fall onto the picture, I soon realized that I was crying.

Something I hadn't done in a while.

Something that felt good.


	6. Slurred Words and Drunk Antics

_Eli's Point of View:_

I walked down the deserted street to my house alone. No Drew to accompany me or KC. I decided to blow them off. I didn't wanna see people today. Not right now. Not after today. What had happened today.

Just seeing her look like she was about to pass out worried me. I couldn't help it. I couldn't just _leave _her there to suffer.

Reminded me too much of when Cece would get too sick and Bullfrog didn't care enough to take care of her, just leaving me to tend to Cece.

I still remember having to carrying her, but I never got to take her home.

_She was light. Very light. She wasn't heavy at all, light as a feather in my arms. I pushed against the school doors and opening them. As I walked into the cool air I could feel Clare shiver against me in her sleep, immediately, I held her closer to my chest as a pathetic attempt to warm her. _

_Although it shouldn't even matter to me if she's cold or not. Who am I to care?_

_As I walked towards my hearse, Morty, I heard a shout from down the street._

"_Eli?" Darcy shouted. I stopped in my tracks and saw Darcy run towards me in a hurry. _

_Once she made it to me, she stopped to catch her breath and then she looked at Clare in my arms. "What happened? What did you do to her?" Darcy asked rapidly. I swallowed."Darcy calm down. This girl is Clare-" Darcy quickly cut me off._

"_I know I know. Goddammit, she's my sister." Darcy said looking at me. I widened my eyes._

"_Sister? She's your sister?" I asked incredulous. Darcy shook her head._

"_Ignore that. Just ignore it and hand her to me." Darcy demanded. I bit the inside of my mouth._

"_But I was gonna try to wake her up once she was in the car and ask her where she lived so I could drop her off." I said. Darcy rolled her eyes."No need to go through all that trouble for her. She isn't worth it, so just hand her over. I'm taking her home." Darcy said harsher. I sighed and carefully handed Clare over to Darcy. _

_Once Clare was in Darcy's arms, Darcy looked at me and sighed._

"_Whatever happened to her… did you do it to her?" Darcy asked. I shook my head. "No. She's sick. Fainted in the cafeteria. Woke up in the nurses office and on her way back to the cafeteria she started falling asleep against the lockers. I just decided to take her home or whatever." I explained. Darcy sighed and I saw as she struggled with Clare in her arms. _

"_Need any help?" I asked. Darcy shook her head, but continued to struggle even more as she started to walk towards her car. I groaned and walked after her, stopping her and grabbing Clare from her arms. "Just drive us there and I'll just carry her wherever you want me to carry her." I said. Darcy rolled her eyes. _

"_Fine. Whatever pleases you." Darcy said. _

"_Careful with her." Darcy warned as we walked up the stairs in their house. I rolled my eyes. _

"_I am careful with her, Darce. Calm the fuck down. God." I groaned. I heard Darcy mumble a curse word under her breath. _

_Darcy led me to a room. I stopped when I saw the room._

_It was the same room I had snuck into three nights ago. _

_So this was Clare's room._

_Darcy opened the door and motioned for me to go inside. "Just lay her on her bed and then you can leave. I'll be downstairs." Darcy said before leaving from the doorway. I walked over to Clare's bed and laid her down gently, knowing that I couldn't just leave her there like that, I took the time to take her shoes off and carefully pull the covers over her. Adding a blanket on top. _

_I looked down at Clare, her face was still red from the fever and her lips were slightly parted as she slept. I smiled to myself. She looked.. Cute. Almost cute. _

_I shook my head. What was I even doing?Here I was going out of my way to help this freak out. I was thinking this freak was cute when she obviously wasn't. Her face was blotchy and her lips were separated making her mouth look awkward and deformed. _

_Not cute._

_Not one bit. _

_I rolled my eyes and left the room, closing the door behind me, I didn't even say bye to Darcy who was in the living room as I left the house and started walking down the many streets._

I shook my head. Why had I even helped her? She didn't need help. I should have just left her there on the ground against those lockers.

But.. If I left her unattended.. She might have gotten worst.. Or something bad would have happened to her.. Like it did to Cece.

Shaking the image from my mind, I opened the front door to my house to see Bullfrog in the living room. He turned the TV off and looked at me. "Where the hell have you been?" Bullfrog barked. I shrugged.

"At school. At a friend's house. Just doing what I do." I said.

I was about to walk up the stairs when I saw that Bullfrog stood up and started walking towards me.

"Don't you walk away from me young man!" Bullfrog demanded. I looked at him and smirked.

"Watch me." I teased. Then I walked up the stairs, I heard incoherent curses and the sound of something breaking. I had reached my room and I locked the door.

It would stay locked all night.

Because tonight, I'm gonna get fucked.

_Clare's Point of View:_

I found myself laying in my bed, sketching once again. Although this time I was sketching what I missed.

My snow globe.

It still hasn't shown up and I can't find it anywhere. I feel like I was robbed in a way, well I was robbed.

Someone stole my only friend.

Today had been horrible to be honest, my disease had gotten the worst of me and I had shown it at school.

Fainting in the cafeteria? Eli catching me and taking me to the nurses office? That was still odd to me. Eli Goldsworthy doing something nice to me for the change. But everything after that was a blur until I woke up hours earlier in bed with my fever breaking.

Darcy had told me that Helen had picked me up from the nurses office, but the way Darcy said it.. It seemed like she was covering something up. Then about a hour ago, I heard her mumbling into her phone, telling whoever was on the other line to,

"_Keep their mouth shut about what had slipped." _That only made me more curious.

I wanted to know badly what Darcy was even talking about, but if I asked Darcy, she wouldn't tell me.

She never tells me, so I don't bother anymore.

I started to sketch the snowman which was inside the snow globe when I heard tapping on my window.

My head shot up and I looked at the window, the curtains were pulled close so I couldn't see what was hitting my window, I stood up and walked over to the window, opening the curtains and opening the window too, soon I felt a rock hit the middle of my forehead and I yelped."Ow!" I shouted. I heard murmurs down below me, I looked down and squinted in the evening dark to see that Alli and Fiona were down below. I gasped seeing them down there.

"What are you guys doing here?" I whispered loudly, sticking my head out the window.

"Sorry about hitting you with that rock!" Fiona shouted. I could hear a faint scoff from below.

"Don't mind, Fiona and her bad aim, Clare." Alli said.

"I asked you guys a question. What are you guys doing down here?" I whispered loudly.

"We're here to take you to Sav's party!" Alli shouted. I sighed.

"How did you guys even find me? I never told you guys that I lived here." I said.

"When I got called into the principals office for too many tardy's, your file was just laying on his desk, so when he left the room to get a detention slip I grabbed the file and found out that you live here.. In the Edwards home." Fiona explained.

I gulped. Oh God. Did they know?"Please explain to us on the way to the party WHY you live in the same house that Darcy Edwards lives in, Clare." Alli asked. I sighed.

"Fine. I'll go." I groaned.

I knew that I'd never win the battle of not going with them, so why not just go? It'd be easier and I'll find a way to bail.

"Okay. So explain." Alli said as soon as Fiona started driving. I sighed.

"I only live with Darcy and Helen because they use to be close friends with my parents before they died." I lied. I couldn't tell them the truth. Darcy would be so mad. I couldn't let my sister get mad at me.

"Oh." Fiona and Alli said together.

"So that means you and Darcy are pretty close huh?" Alli asked. I shrugged.

"Yeah. We're pretty close.. Almost like siblings." I said.

"Fiona surely knew her way here." Alli said, looking at Fiona. Fiona scoffed. "Shut up, Alli." Fiona murmured. I scrunched my eyebrows."Whats the matter?" I asked looking at Fiona. When Fiona didn't say anything, Alli did. "Oh Fiona has been at your house MANY times since she and Darcy use to be best friends since Fiona's twin brother, Declan is dating Darcy." Alli explained.

"Ugh. Alli. I thought I told you to shut up?" Fiona said. Alli giggled and looked ahead. "Wait. So your brother, Declan is dating Darcy?" I asked. Fiona nodded.

"Yep. Pretty much except they aren't that close anymore. Declan feels like Darcy is hiding something from him, he thinks that she's cheating on him even if they aren't really a couple." Fiona explained. I sighed."Well.. Darcy isn't cheating. She never leaves the house anymore. No one comes in." I said.

Fiona and Alli exchanged looks with each other before we drove in silence on the way to the party.

"I'm not sure about this guys.. I've never been to a party." I murmured softly as I followed Alli and Fiona through the party. Alli smiled.

"No big worries here, Clare. Sav's parties are usually relaxed. Not too messed up." Alli reassured me.

But suddenly I heard the sound of people chanting.

"**Chug. Chug. Chug. CHUG."**

I looked at Alli and she shrugged, I noticed that Fiona had left, but instead of looking around for her, I followed Alli where the people were chanting.

We pushed our way through the crowd to see it was Eli. He was chugging a full bottle of alcohol, most likely vodka.

Once the bottle was finished, he threw it against a wall and stumbled around a bit.

He was drunk.

"Eli. Dude. Hah. That was fucking amazing." KC chortled as he patted Eli on the back. Eli belched, but quickly laughed afterwards with KC.

Eli made eye contact with me and smiled goofy.

"Hey, freak. How it goes?" Eli slurred his words together. I shook my head and quickly walked off and away from what I was seeing, leaving Alli alone with drunk Eli and possibly drunk KC.

I had been walking around the party for a straight hour now. I had gone through the smokers who were smoking their pot and snorting their cocaine. I had passed by the people who just decided to have sex on the couch.

This party was wild. Alli basically lied to me.

I found myself in a secluded area away from the party in the backyard. It was quieter and was lighted slightly by hanging lights. I rounded a corner to see that Eli was already there, taking puffs from his cigarette. Eli scowled.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Eli spat. I sighed. "Sorry sorry. I was just wandering around." I apologized. Eli took the cigarette from his mouth and flicked it a bit, some ash falling on the green grass.

"You're wandering around for a reason. What? Not having fun?" Eli asked. I noticed how his words were still slurred, but not as horribly as before. I could understand him.

I shrugged.

"I'm not one for a party." I said, looking back at the chaos which was behind us.

Eli sighed and put the cigarette back in his mouth, inhaling the smoke and exhaling, the smoke from his cigarette had wavered in front of my face, making me cough from it affecting my lungs.

"Can't handle smoke?" Eli asked. I bit my lip."Smoking is gross and I'm not suppose to be around that stuff anyway." I said. Eli sighed and threw his cigarette on the ground, smashing it with his combat boot.

"Sorry then. I won't infect your innocent body with those harsh chemicals." Eli said sarcastically.

"I'm just gonna go if you're gonna be rude." I said softly, I turned to go, but I felt Eli's hand on my arm, pulling me back."What?" I asked. Eli stumbled around before finding a solid spot to stand on and looked at me."Are you okay now?" Eli slurred his words together again.

"Uhm.. Yeah.. Sorry for fainting in the cafeteria back there." I apologized. Eli sighed heavily.

"Yeah.. But did you get home safely?" Eli asked. I scrunched my eyebrows together and looked into his glazed eyes. "What do you mean..?" I asked. Eli giggled and placed a hand on my face.

"You were hot earlier. Like really hot." Eli said, his smile turned into a smirk and he tried to wink, but failed horribly at it.

"Eli.. What are you-" before I could finish my sentence, I heard the sound of footsteps coming up.

"Eli? Eli where are you?" Jenna asked. I quickly got free from his hands and ran from them, ducking by a bush. I looked up to see Jenna walk up in nothing but her bra.

"Hey cutie. I've been looking for you forever." Jenna said, her words were slightly slurred, so she was drunk as well. Eli laughed.

"Same here, Jenna. Now.. Why don't we just do what KC is not drunk enough to do?" Eli said seductively in Jenna's ear. Jenna giggled and nodded, she pushed Eli against the hammock which was nearby and attacked his mouth with kisses, Eli grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into the hammock with him.

Before I could hear anymore, I stood up and ran from the uncomfortable scene. I almost ran into Fiona, who had a wine glass in her hand. "Hi Clarebear!" Fiona slurred. I groaned.

"You're drunk too?" I shouted. Fiona didn't answer, instead she lurched forward and threw up all over the grass.

I groaned and looked up at the sky for a plead of help, but all I heard was Fiona's throwing up and the sound of splashing in the pool.

All I could do was pull Fiona's hair back and just wait for her to stop puking and hopefully drinking.

She was my ride back home.

Yeah.. This was one "fun" party.


	7. Drunken Confessions

_**Warning**: alcohol use, cigarette smoking, cursing, and talks of sex._

Hope you enjoy this chapter! (:

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

"Okay, Fi. Its gonna be alright. Just.. Try to stop puking." I asked.

I had Fiona's curly brown hair in his hands, away from her face. She was still puking from the drinking she had indulged in. I had managed to pull her inside and into the upstairs bathroom, leaving a fair trail of puke behind us.

"Okay.. I think I'm done." Fiona said in a raspy voice.

I slowly pull Fiona up and quickly flushed the toilet, not bothering to clean up most of the puke that she didn't make in the bowl.

"Alright. Just wipe all of that.. Stuff off your face and I'll lay you down in one of these bedrooms and then I'll try to find Alli to tell her that we're most likely staying over." I said. Fiona nodded and started to wipe the puke from her mouth.

I slowly led Fiona into the adjoined bedroom and she collapsed onto the bed, completely burned out. Noticing that this bedroom was Alli's, I quickly grabbed the trash can and placed it by Fiona's head. I'm sure Alli wouldn't appreciate a huge mess of Fiona puke all over her comforter.

Once I saw that Fiona was fast asleep, I snuck from the room and walked down the hall, dodging heavy drinkers and Fiona's trail of puke, making it outside and embracing the cool air like God.

Plus it felt good to smell the fresh air opposed to Fiona's puke breath. I am just saying.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I looked around outside for Alli, but the most I found were people sneaking off to have more fun outside the Bhandari house. I even saw Alli's older brother, Sav. He was obviously drunk and was in a compromising position with a girl.

Pretty awkward and weird for me anyway.

Instead of trying to pass by a group of people snorting some white stuff, I decided to take the long way around, although I stopped short realizing the long way was going through the secluded place where Eli was with Jenna earlier. I gulped and walked slowly, looking through the brush, I saw no Jenna, but only Eli. Sitting there a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Deciding that maybe that long way seemed pretty bad, I was retreating my steps when I stepped on a twig, making a snapping sound, Eli's head turned in my direction fast. His eyes held nothing, but a glazed look. No happiness. You would think the guy would be happy after what he was doing with Jenna.

"Watching me, freak?" Eli murmured.

I shrugged and took some steps closer towards the little place of his own.

"If you're wondering where Jenna went.. Well she ran off with KC for some "way more fun" then what me and her could do." Eli explained, he scoffs and takes a swig from his bottle.

"Oh.. That's too bad, I guess." I mumbled. Eli sighed."You know.. I'm shocked you haven't said a word about me and Jenna. I was for sure thinking that you would spread it around that I was sleeping with my best friends girl." Eli confessed. I shrugged.

"It really isn't my place to say that. If you and Jenna wanna hook up.. Then go ahead. No problem with me, I won't say a word about anything that isn't my business." I explained. "And I'm sure Alli and Fiona won't say anything either." I reassured him. Eli scoffed harshly.

"Yeah. Fiona is too quiet to say anything. And Alli.. Alli is just a bitch." Eli said, flicking some ash from his cigarette.

"Not really.. Shes the first one to actually be my friend here.. I don't see her as a.. well what you said." I said, dodging Eli's curse word.

Eli put his cigarette out, but continued to drink from his beer.

"Hmm.. I get it. You gotta hold onto the people you have now, because if they leave or you let go, you'll be alone and loneliness sucks." Eli said, taking another swig from his beer. I nodded.

"That's exactly it.. How do you even know how I feel..? You're mister popular at school." I said in a small voice, looking down at my shoes. Eli sighed. "

"Come here. Sit next to me. I'll tell you." Eli said, his voice starting to slur.

Forgetting to find Alli, I take the seat next to Eli. As opposed to the Eli at school, I like the drunk Eli. At least drunk Eli can be nice. Eli at school is just.. Mean. This one is nice to me. Managed to be nice to me and slam me against lockers. Look at me here, sitting next to him in a hammock. Sure he smelled like beer and smoke and he probably couldn't stand without falling over, but he was nice.

And I liked nice.

I liked it a lot.

"Well.. Let me start off here. I use to have this best friend when I first moved here a year ago. His name was Adam. Adam Torres." Eli began with. I nodded, letting him know I was listening.

"We were the best of friends. Always doing everything together. We told each other everything. We clung onto each other for company and friendship, but.." Eli trailed off and quickly took a long swig of his beer.

Something bad was gonna happen in this little tale of Eli's. I could tell.

"Adam was transgendered. Meaning he was born a girl, but thinks as a guy. I considered him a dude. Because that's who I met and made my best friend. Adam Torres, not some chick." Eli said. I took in a sharp intake of air.

Transgenders. I remember many of the foster families I lived with were crazy religious and hated transgender.

Although I never really did. I never met one. They seemed normal to me when I was younger and seem normal to me now.

"Well anyway. Even though Adam was trans.. I was still his best friend. That never changed anything. But.. Adam was constantly bullied. People found out about his trans thing and it was chaos. It was hard protecting him. Adam's brother, Drew. You must have seen him.. He's my only real friend right now.. Well we tried to protect Adam. Taking punches for him, fighting people to protect him, but it was becoming too much for me. I was always hurt. Broken bones here. Cuts and bruises there. I was getting hurt at school and at home and I felt.. Like literal shit." Eli explained in a strained voice.

Although I caught some of his words that stuck with me.

"_I was getting hurt at school and at home." _

Hurt at home?Before I could even ask, Eli, he had started up the story again. "Adam hated it. He hated seeing me and Drew so hurt, especially me. He told me one day after school, I was at my locker and Adam told me,

"_Bro.. You gotta stop. You have to stop with these fights against Fitz and Owen. You and Drew both, man. Okay? Because fighting isn't resolve crap. Nothing is. I never wanted you guys to protect me either. Sure, I probably couldn't protect myself either.. But I can't stand this. Every day you guys come to school with some new bruise or new cast and I'm sick of it. I'm gonna solve this though okay? Just don't find Owen after school, last time that happened you had a concussion bro and that was pretty messed. Just don't worry. I'll call you after I resolve everything."_

"Before I could even respond to Adam, Adam handed me a envelope. He told me to open it later, then he gave me one of the tightest hugs I've ever endured before walking off. Little did I know was that Adam overdosed on some pills when he went home.. He-He killed himself." Eli whispered.

I took in a sharp intake of air. Before I could even give my sympathy to Eli about Adam, Eli continued with his story. I didn't wanna interrupt him until he was finished with everything.

This guy who hated me… was opening up.

I wasn't gonna make him close up anytime soon.

"After I was told what happened, I opened up Adam's letter to me. His suicide letter to me. I was scared. Nervous. Mostly scared. I had no idea what was even in there. I opened it up to find a long letter addressed to me. I memorized it word for word. I can still remember it." Eli said softly, he closed his eyes, took a swig of his beer and started to recite the letter.

_Dear Eli,_

_By now you know what happened. I killed myself. It was bound to happen. Hell it had to happen. I had to do it. I was gonna be mocked my whole life, bro. I was gonna be beat up all my life, you and Drew too. We would get nowhere with everyone attacking me. So I ended it. Not painfully. I ended it happily. Now you can do what you need to do. Like get a girlfriend. Someone who understands you. Someone who cares for you. Because face it Eli, eventually you'll get over Julia and when that happens, you'll need someone to love. Whoever that is.. Please promise me that its __**not **__Jenna Middleton? Because dude, the girl is a walking talking whore. Don't get involved with her bro. But.. I'm sorry for leaving you alone with no friends. I'm sorry that you'll be lonely. But if you ever wanna talk.. I'm sure I can find you. You're my best friend, Eli. That's never gonna change, no matter what happens. I love you, bro. _

_-Adam_

I could feel tears prickle in my eyes. I looked over at Eli to see full fledged tears running down his face.

"After that was hell. The funeral was hell. Loneliness was hell. Life was hell. Eventually I became pretty tight with Drew after Drew and Alli broke up, Drew needed someone too because he fell from his role in popularity. So together me and Drew became somewhat popular, we became friends with people, went to parties, got wasted, got high, got with girls. Now look at me.. I'm doing exactly what Adam told me not too and that was hooking up with Jenna. But.. it's the life I have. Its what I can get. Sure KC really isn't my friend. Sure I don't love Jenna. Sure I hate my dad. Sure I miss Julia. Sure I had everything and everyone. But I live." Eli explained in a raspy voice.

I nodded and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"Who's Julia, Eli?" I asked. Eli sighed.

"She was my girlfriend before I moved here. We were together for two years. Two years of happiness and love. I loved that girl more than my life. We were so fucking happy together.. But she was killed. I killed her." Eli said in the most pained voice I ever heard him muster.

I widened my eyes.

"Wh-What do you mean?" I exclaimed, frightened by his words. Eli sighed.

"Me and her got into a huge fight. Things got messy. I said things I shouldn't have. She took off in the night. Rode her bike and got hit by a truck. Just like that the person I loved the most was taken like that." Eli said, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

I sighed and placed a hand over Eli's. "Oh Eli.. I'm so sorry about Adam and Julia. I'm sorry about how you hate your own dad even though I don't even know why." I said. Eli slumped into the hammock, not moving his hand from under mine. "My dad hurts me, Clare." Eli whispered.

My jaw dropped from the confession not that the fact that he called me, Clare opposed from freak.

"You mean.. that day you came to school with the huge bruise on your eye.. That was from your dad?" I asked.

Eli nodded, taking a swig from his drink.

"Yep. My old man hurts me. I take the punches from him so he won't hurt my mom. Yeah, my life sucks. But hey, I gotta deal with it." Eli explained.

Unexpectedly, I squeezed his hand and looked at his face, he looked at me and I swear that he was looking into my soul if not for the drinking he had done.

"Eli.. I'm so sorry. About you losing your best friend and your girlfriend. That your dad hits you. That you have to live some lie to cover up all this pain. I'm so sorry you have to do this. But listen to me.. You don't have to live this lie forever. You could be strong and break out of it. You could stop being this-" I sighed and forced myself to say the word. "You could stop being this asshole who hurts everyone. You could stop hooking up with Jenna. You could stop drinking and smoking. You could be Eli. The Eli _you _wanna be." I explained.

Eli didn't say anything.

We sat there, my hand on his, holding his hand. I felt no response from him whatsoever. That was until Eli stood up and pulled his hand from my grip. I stood up quickly and held him steady, he was still drunk and stumbling still.

"Wait. Where are you going?" I asked worriedly. Eli threw his bottle down.

"Home." Eli said, he started to leave our secluded spot, when I pulled him back.

"But your dad's gonna hurt you! I don't want you getting hurt!" I exclaimed. Eli shrugged.

"Don't worry about me, Clare. Worry about yourself. Don't get sick like you did today either. I don't feel like carrying anyone anytime soon." Eli advised me before stumbling off. I shouted after him,

"What does that even mean!"

No response.

"Why did you even tell me that stuff? Why me?" I shouted. Eli turned around and simply said,

"I felt like I should."

And with that, Eli stumbled home, leaving me standing in our secluded spot with only a ash tray, empty bottles of beer and a hammock still warm from us sitting there for a long time.

For once, I didn't even know what to do.

* * *

Hey guys! Sorry for being gone! I was grounded and I still am. But I am trying to update this as fast as I can! I hope you enjoy this chapter! (:


	8. Apart of his Business

**Warning: **cursing, people either drunk or hungover and abuse

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Alli's Point of View:

"_This party was a stupid idea, Sav. Look at this freaking mess we have to clean up now!" I complained, looking at Sav who was rubbing his temples. _

"_Yeah yeah I know, Alli. Having a huge party that got out of hand due to beer and drugs and possible sex was stupid." Sav mocked. I scoffed and started to pick up empty red cups from the living room floor. _

"_Thanks to this big party, I basically lost Fi and Clare. I have no clue where either of them are." I complained yet again to Sav. _

"_Chill out, Alli. I saw Fiona passed out on your bed a couple hours ago. And Clare? Well I saw her talking to Eli. I have no idea why since the kid hates her guts. The shit he says about her is-" I quickly shot Sav a death glare, he wouldn't dare say something bad about Clare._

_I wouldn't allow it._

"_I was just saying. So if you wanna go and check up on Fiona, I'm sure she's still passed out on your bed upstairs." Sav said. I rolled my eyes._

"_Of course I'm gonna check up on her, dumbshit. Meanwhile, clean this up." I said, shoving the black bag towards and pointing at the mess of red cups around._

_I walked up stairs, careful not to step in dry puke, bleh. Sav was gonna clean that up for sure. I opened my bedroom door to see Fiona passed out on my pink bedspread and Clare was sitting next to her, watching her. Although Clare's neck snapped up as she saw me walk in. _

"_Hey. There you guys are. I was worried you guys just up and left." I said with a small smile as I sat down next to Clare. Clare shrugged._

"_Naw. Fiona's too hungover to even drive. She can't really handle her liquor well." Clare observed, giving Fiona a once over. I groaned._

"_She's been drinking? Ugh. She promised me and her mom that she wouldn't pick up another drink in her life!"_

_Clare furrowed her brows together._

"_So wait.. Fi isn't allowed to drink?" Clare asked curiously. I nodded. _

"_Yep. Fiona has a problem drinking. She has had past issues and has been to rehab, but it didn't help much. She still urges to drink and tonight was the perfect opportunity to get away from me so she could get wasted." I explained briefly, not wanting to indulge into Fiona's abuse problems and slight sexuality confusion too. _

"_Wow. Next time, I'll watch her and make sure she doesn't drink." Clare reassured me. _

"_Not unless you're too busy talking to the asshole that is, Eli Goldsworthy." I spat. Clare tensed up beside me._

"_How did you know that I talked to Eli tonight?" Clare asked in a small voice. I shrugged._

"_Sav is still semi drunk and told me." I paused. "Please Clare. Do tell why you were in conversation with that ass?" I asked. Clare sighed._

"_It was nothing. He was just drunk talking to me. Saying random stuff. Stuff that didn't make sense." Clare said softly. I snorted._

"_Hilarious. I love when Eli is drunk. Funniest shit ever. Too bad you didn't get it on camera. We could have sent it to everyone's phone and plastered it on the Degrassi Grapevine. Everyone would have seen it." I explained between laughing breaks. Clare chuckled softly beside me and soon our laughter resolved. _

_We both sat in silence and Clare sighed, laying back down on my bed, I decided to lay next to her. _

"_Alli.. Do people lie when they are drunk?" Clare asked, her focus on the ceiling. I shook my head._

"_No. Its actually the opposite. When people are drunk, they tend to tell the truth to people. Stuff they want others to know. When Fiona would get drunk, she would tell me all her little fantasies and dreams. It was crazy at times. That's the only reason I ever even knew she had a problem. Drinking was what told me. Sometimes drinking can be a friend or foe, Clare. It always depends." I explained. Clare simply nodded and continued to stare at the ceiling._

"_Are you gonna be spending the night?" I asked. Clare nodded again."Yeah. Its one in the morning. I'll just sneak in my window in a couple hours. No one will noticed. My door is locked." Clare reassured me. I smirked."Sister Clare is doing something rebellious." I noted. Clare giggled._

"_Oh Alli. Tonight was filled with rebellion." Clare mumbled something afterward._

"_What was that?" I asked. _

_Clare never answered, she was already asleep. _

_I sighed and decided that Clare's claim on tonight being rebellious was wrong._

_Tonight was a total bust._

_The house is a mess._

_Fiona is hungover._

_Clare is talking to the enemy._

_And I couldn't find Drew anywhere._

_And that scared the living hell out of me._

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

Drunk. Hungover. Stumbling. Even though the physical feel of this sucked, the mental feeling felt great. Well at least while I was chugging the bottles down one after the other. The walk home had lighten up my senses, made me more aware, but like always, I forgot what had happened.

I was at Sav's party with KC, Jenna and Drew.

I got wasted, so did KC and Jenna.

Drew walked off to get high and I never saw him again tonight.

I think I hooked up with Jenna.. Probably Jenna. I remember odd shaped boobs and well.. Hers are odd shaped.

Then I was talking to someone.

I had a deep conversation with them.. I just can't remember who it was.

Drinking had kept me partially sane during that, erasing some of my memory from it.

I shook my head, feeling like my brain was mush. Like mush rolling around in my head.

Sure drinking helped, but I always ended up feeling shittier each time.

So why did I continue to get drunk weekly?If I continued this I'll end up a alcoholic.

Yeah sounds fucking fun.

I thought about sneaking in like nothing, slipping into my room, awaiting for the hangover to take full force.

But fuck it.

I don't care tonight.

I swung the door open and flicked the lights on to come face to face with a very angry Bullfrog.

"Where the fuck were you?" Bullfrog roared.

Wow. Someone's angry. I rolled my eyes.

"I went to a party." I'm not even gonna lie to him, what's the point.

"I got wasted too." Yep more of the truth.

"And I hooked up with some chick." Cha ching. He's even more pissed now.

"ElLJAH! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Bullfrog screamed at the top of his lungs.

Now either I could play innocent and say sorry or I could be a smartass.

I choose smartass.

"I'm Eli fucking Goldsworthy, sir." I smirked, making sure the smirk touched my eyes, making him even angrier.

"You're drunk. When you're sober, we will talk." Bullfrog said, he grabbed my arm and was pulling me towards the stairs when I pulled away, stumbling around as I did.

"No.. No I won't talk to you when I'm sober." I said. Bullfrog growled."Elijah. You're going to go upstairs, sleep this drunkness off and hangover and we'll talk." Bullfrog ordered. I shook my head, ignoring the sudden mush in my brain.

"No, _Daniel._" I said loudly, using his real name. "No I will not talk to you when I'm sober. I'll talk when I'm drunk thank you very much! And what I have to say is that.. I fucking hate you. You're a.. a horrible man. A horrible husband. A horrible father. You treat me and mom like shit for your own goddamn pleasure! Just because grandma and grandpa and your brother all died in a car crash does NOT make you become some raging bastard! I miss my old dad! The one who was nice to me. The one who loved me and mom! The one who would fuck mom every night and hell, I never cared! The dad who didn't hurt his family! I want _that _dad back! WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?" I screamed.

Silence followed through after that.

I glanced up to see that Cece had woken up and was standing wide eyed at the foot of the stairs, looking down at us. Waiting.

Waiting for an answer.

A response.

Anything.

Something did happen though.

A flying fist to the face and a hard kick to the stomach.

The rest afterwards was a total blur.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

The day after Sav's party, everyone was walking into school with a serious hangover or in a crash stance from drugs.

In Fiona's case, she was hungover badly.

So badly that she called her mom to come pick her up.

So it was just me and Alli today and I was okay with it. As we were walking down the hall, a figure in a black hoodie bumped into us, I looked up to see it was Drew, even with sunglasses on I could tell it was him. Alli scowled.

"That asshole. He could have apologized at least, but no, precious Drew wouldn't dare."

I sighed and looked behind myself, usually Eli walked in with Drew, almost everyday. But when I didn't see Eli glide his hungover self in, I felt a twinge of worry in my stomach.

What if.. What if his dad got to him last night?

That only made the twinge grow bigger.

I had to admit it.. I was worried about Eli's safety.

Just like he was a couple days ago.

The following week was boring, everyone talking and planning about the next party which wasn't gonna happen at the Bhandari residence as Alli assured me.

This whole week, Eli hasn't been in school. Not once was he in English, sitting in front of me. Not once did I see him in the cafeteria sitting with Drew and KC. Not once did I see him and Jenna run off together, cutting class to make out. Not once. Each day I felt more and more worried. If Eli was hurt.. I'd feel worry and guilty. I knew one of his biggest secrets and I only know it because he was drunk.

Extremely drunk.

Plus he probably doesn't even remember telling me anyway.

I should be feeling happy, joyous, amazing.

I should be doing backflips in the air, Eli Goldsworthy was absent from school for a whole week!

No bullying.

No taunting.

No shoving.

Nothing bad from him all week.

Yet I missed him.

Not his fake self.

His drunken nice self.

I liked that Eli.

He was.. Nice.

I walked home today and threw my backpack on the sofa, I saw that Darcy was already home, her purse and jacket thrown on the sofa as well. I was about to enter the kitchen when I hear her on the phone.

"Where have you been? You've been gone from school for a whole week! I came by everyday with Manny to see if you wanted to have lunch with us, but you weren't there. Eli.. You better tell me what happened. Are you hurt? Sick? If you ever need a place to stay, you can stay here, sweets. Ugh, don't mock me for using a petname on you, I don't even think of you that way so you can stop giggling. Just remember what I said." Darcy said and like that she hung up, she turned around on one heel and caught me peeping.

"Did you hear me?" Darcy asked. I nodded. Darcy groaned.

"Of course. Go figure. You would be the one to eavesdrop on mine and Eli's conversation. Whatever." Darcy said, not even blowing up on me for eavesdropping.

I decided it was a good enough time to ask Darcy something I needed to know.

"Where's Eli's been?" I asked. Darcy scoffed.

"Why do you wanna know? Do you even care?" Darcy asked. I sighed.

"Nope. I just wanna know. He hasn't been in school all week." I said. Darcy rolled her eyes.

"None of your business, Clare. Just stay out. Whatever happens with Eli is none of your damn business." Darcy said before plopping down on the sofa to watch television.

The sad thing is, a couple days ago I would have agreed with her.

But now that I know about Eli.. That I know what he's gone through, his secrets.

Of course I care.. Its my business now too.

Whether he knows it or not.

* * *

I don't know if you would call this a filler chapter or not, but either way it has big stuff happening. (: + I know many of you want Eli/Clare to happen and slowly that's happening. You just gotta give it time. It'll come.. Maybe. ;)


	9. Whats the Use?

**Warning: If you hate tears and crying, don't read this chapter.**

* * *

_ Darcy's Point of View:_

"I'm sorry." Clare whispered. I looked up at her from my seat on the sofa, I rose to my feet and marched over to her.

"You're _sorry? _Hah, yeah right." I scoffed. Clare sighed.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, Darcy. I was walking right past and I couldn't help but overhear the con-" I quickly cut Clare off with a huge scoff.

"Save it, Clare. You aren't sorry. You just wanted to listen in on the conversation just like any little girl would. Either that or you have a crush on, Eli." I said, Clare's mouth parted in a O when I mentioned the crush on Eli. I smirked.

"I don't like him!" Clare shouted.

"Sure you don't." I teased. Clare's face scrunched up in anger.

"Ugh! Why do you have to be so mean to me? I never did anything to you! You're such a.. such a.. such a bitch!" Clare shouted.

Without even thinking, I raised my fist in the air and Clare's anger washed away and she crouched down like a little child.

"Darcy Sofia Edwards!" Helen scolded. I dropped my fist and Clare straightened up.

"Mom I-" I tried to explain, but Helen placed a hand up."Save it. Go to the living room right now, we're gonna have a little talk, missy." Helen demanded.

I snarled and looked at Clare, who's blue eyes were wide with fear.

"Thanks a lot, freak." I spat before shoulder shoving Clare out of my way to get to the living room.

"Darcy Sofia!" Helen exclaimed as we entered the living room. Her face was red from a flush of anger. "What has gotten into you? Trying to hurt your little sister like that! You're nineteen almost twenty and I have every right to kick you out of this house and take you out of college whenever I please!" Helen shouted.

I flinched at her words, kick me out? Pull me out of college? I couldn't.. no I couldn't leave college. If I wanted to be a pediatrician when I was older I have to go to college, Helen knew that. She wouldn't possibly pull me out because of Clare would she? Suddenly anger flashed through me and I quickly recomposed myself.

"Clare is **NOT **my little sister, mom! She's just some orphan from the orphanage you decided to pick up on your way home! Just a pet for you!" I exclaimed. Helen scoffed.

"We're suppose to be a family, Darcy! Clare is now apart of this family and its about time you started treating her like she was apart of it!" Helen demanded.

Now _that _made me laugh. Snort really."Family? You call this a family? We haven't been a family since dad left us for some whore he was having an affair with! And you!" I exclaimed, pointing a finger at Helen. "All you ever do is work. Work work work! You haven't treated me like a daughter in YEARS. And now that this little freak came into our lives, you treat her so damn special! I hate it!" I screamed. Helen was taken back on my words, before she could even respond, the back door slammed shut.

Helen's look of anger turned sympathetic.

"Now look what you did, Darcy. You ran Clare out of here. Clare? Honey!" Helen shouted while rushing out the back door.

I stood there and felt the hot and heavy tears rush down my face.

"What's the use anymore? Mom's always gonna ignore me. She always did. She always will. I'm surprised she even likes me anymore. I.. I hate it. I hate it here and I hate my life." I whimpered before bounding upstairs into my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

A small part of me wished that Helen would bound up the stairs, open the door, hold me and say that she loved me.

But while a small part of me wished that, a bigger part of me knew that would never happen.

I was alone.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Are you sure about this, mom? I'm not too sure.." I murmured softly, as I was throwing some shirts into my bag.

I felt Cece's hand on my arm and she smiled softly.

"I'll cover for you baby boy. I just can't let you stay in this house for a while, I'm afraid he'll go a step further and finally end your life and I don't want that." Cece explained in a strained voice. I nodded.

"But if he even lays a hand on you mom…" I trailed off, Cece smiled softly and placed a hand on my cheek.

"Then I'll call you. We'll leave this place baby boy if that happens. I'll pick you up from Darcy's house and we'll find a place to stay away from that man. I promise." Cece promised. I smiled at her words, they sounded so comforting.

Yet so unrealistic.

"You know.. I miss us being close mom. We all use to be so close. Sure we were a weird family and all.. But we were close. I miss that." I confessed, when I heard no response, I looked behind me to see that Cece's mouth was in a tight line, she didn't say anything, she just smiled slightly before leaving me alone in this room. I sighed and zipped up my bag."What's the use anymore? It'll never be the same with us again. Accidents ruined this family big time. Mom and I will never be close again and Dad- hah as if he would even be close to us again. I.. I hate it here. I hate my life." I mumbled to myself before slinging my bag over my shoulder and opened the window, and jumping out onto the cool lawn, then I sprinted.

Sprinted away from here.

God only knows it'll be temporarily.

Hah God.

As if.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View: _

I found myself sitting by a small pond in Creek Park. I could hear the frogs croaking and the other nighttime animals making their sounds.

Sighing I picked up a twig and aimlessly doodled in the dirt with it. I shouldn't have left home, but I needed too.

Darcy and Helen fighting was too much for me. Reminded me of the many foster homes I was put in as a child. I hated them so much.

I had to leave.

I had to get some air.

All the anger surged inside of me caused me to walk far away from home, once I calmed down I just sat down and waited.

I had no clue what I was waiting for.

"What's the use anymore? Living that is. What do I have to live for? Nothing. I have this stupid disease that is eating my life away by every second. I only have about two more years before I finally croak and die. Wouldn't that be joyous. Everyone from school would dance on the freaks grave. Maybe Fiona and Alli would shed a few tears, maybe Jenna would force a tear out to make it look like she cared. Eli would definitely be doing the samba on my grave. But anyway.. There is no point. I'm just gonna prolong it all with these pills and already signs on this disease are showing.. I just can't believe my actual mother would do this to me.. To give me this disease that's slowly killing me. I was dying before everyone's eyes. And not a single soul knew. I just wish-" Suddenly I was cut off by the sound of footsteps a few feet behind me.

Oh great, Helen finally found me. I was about to stand up and say that I'm sorry for leaving, but it wasn't Helen's voice that I heard.

It was Eli's.

"Sounds like your having a pretty bad night." Eli said. I wondered if he knew it was me. Hopefully he was just thinking I was some random.

When I didn't answer, Eli started talking again.

"You must need someone to talk too if you're talking to yourself." Eli said, adding a chuckle. "Even though you probably don't know me, I'll listen even if we are in the dark at eleven at night. I'm having a pretty shitty night of my own. I'll tell my part of the story if you do." Eli said.

What was he even doing?Telling his story? He wasn't drunk. He was sober.

Obviously he saw it better to tell some random about his life then someone he knew.

Obviously he had to talk to someone about his problems and to him some random might be the one.

"Uh.. No thanks." I said softly. There was a pause before Eli started talking again."You sound familiar to me. Do I know you from somewhere? Because my name is Eli. What about yours?" Eli asked.

Oh God no. I couldn't let him see me.

I just couldn't.

"Uhm.. Sorry I don't know an Eli. I'm sorry." I quickly apologized before rushing off into the darkness even more. I heard Eli mumble something incoherently before walking off on his own.

A small part of me wanted to go back to him and hug him, just tell him that everything would be fine.

Yet a bigger part of me knew that would never happen.

Not with Eli.

I found myself on the doorstep of Fiona's condo a few minutes later. I knocked on her door and soon I saw her open it, she had this confused look on her face.

"Clare? Why are you here?" Fiona asked. I shrugged."Just walking around the neighborhood.. Nothing big. Just decided to stop by." I lied while looking down, making my lie seem more obvious.

"Yeah.. Walking around the neighborhood at eleven at night is totally normal. Hey.. What's wrong?" Fiona asked. I shook my head, I didn't wanna show her my face at all.

Although Fiona, pulled my face up by my chin and looked at my face and sighed.

"Clare.. Honey have you been crying?" Fiona asked. I sniffled and nodded."Yeah.. Pretty much." I answered, without even asking why, Fiona pulled me into her arms and gave me the biggest hug I had ever received.

"Its okay, Clare. Whatever happened, it'll be okay." Fiona soothed me.

"Fi.. Who's at the- Clare?" I opened my eyes to see that Alli was here too, all decked out in her pajamas.

"Come on in, Clare. We'll clean you up. If you need to stay here tonight, the couch is all yours." Fiona told me, I nodded and walked in with Fiona's arm around my shoulders, supporting me.

I sat down on the couch, feeling the tears come again.

"I'll get you some water. Alli watch her." Fiona asked Alli. Alli nodded and looked at me.

"Clare.. What happened?" Alli asked. I sighed.

"Just problems.. So many problems." I said. Fiona came back with a glass of water in her hand and handed it to me.

"Here it'll help the crying stop." Fiona said. I quickly thanked her before chugging the water down, I hadn't realized how thirsty I really was.

"Now tell us what happened." Alli said. I sighed, I might as well tell them. There was no use getting around it all. They deserved to know.

They were my only friends anyway.

"Don't freak out okay? Well.. I have HIV." I said. Alli's lips parted slightly at the news and Fiona managed to keep a straight face.

"How long have you known?" Fiona asked.

"Since I was born. My mother had it and passed it along to me. Its terminal.. So eventually I'll die from it. Already the signs showing that I have it are starting to show." I explained, fiddling with my fingers.

When I heard no responses from them, I sighed."Its okay if you don't wanna be my friends anymore. I totally understand. I always lose friends after telling them. So if you don't wanna be friends with the diseased girl then I'll understand." I explained.

I expected them to shoo me out of the condo, to tell me to never talk to them, but instead, I felt four arms wrap around me and hug me tightly.

"Don't ever think we'll leave you, Clare. We won't." Alli murmured.

"Yeah, Clare. You're our friend. We're gonna support you no matter what. So don't think we'll ditch you, because we won't, thanks for telling us though. This way we know." Fiona explained.

I had never felt this much love before.

Especially from two girls who I had just met a couple weeks ago.

I wrapped my arms around them and hugged them close too.

This would also be a good moment to tell them that I am adopted by the Edwards. I could tell them that I know deep secrets about Eli. I could tell them how I'm starting to have feelings for Eli..

I could.

But I won't.

Not now.

Maybe not ever.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I knocked on Darcy's door as soon as possible. My mind was racing from the girl I heard in the park. She was mumbling to herself and scolding herself. It was weird and awkward.. But I felt sorry for the girl. Too bad she scrambled off before I could learn her name.

Helen opened the door and gasped at my sight.

"Oh Eli! What happened?" Helen exclaimed.

I shrugged, feeling pain in my shoulder when doing so.

"Nothing much. Fights you know." I lied smoothly, Helen didn't even notice.

"Oh fights are so stupid. You look so awful. But please tell me why you're here?" Helen asked. I swallowed.

"I'm here to see, Darce. We have to talk about things going on with our friends. That and I sorta need a place to crash.." I said slowly. Helen's eyebrows furrowed.

"Eli. Honey. Don't you have your own house? Can't your parents take care of you?" Helen asked. I sighed.

"Parents are away on a trip. Its just me and I need someone to help me out here with this pain." I explained. Helen nodded."Alright then. You can take the couch for as long as you need it." Helen told me, I smiled."Thanks Ms. Edwards. Means a lot." I thanked her and threw my bag on the couch.

"Eli? Have you seen Clare on your walk here?" Helen asked. I furrowed my brows and then soon remembered.

Clare lived here.

Clare was Darcy's sister.

Helen's daughter.

Why wasn't she here.

Why was her not being her leave me worried?

"No.. Why isn't she here?" I asked, but before Helen could answer me, Darcy bounded down the stairs.

"Eli. Upstairs. Now." Darcy demanded. I saw that both Darcy and Helen gave each other angry looks.

I heard a knock at the door and I turned my attention there, opening the door, I immediately started playing the jerk card.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I mumbled.

* * *

Sorry for the late update! But I hope you like this one! (:


	10. No Place In This World

_**WARNING:**__ Straight up drama bro. _

_Hope you enjoy it~!_

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I stood in shock at who was in front of me.

Eli.

"What.. Why are you here?" I stammered. Eli gulped, but kept his face straight.

"None of your business, why are _you_ here?" Eli asked. I couldn't help myself, but stare at his bruised body.

His eye was swollen and it looked like he even had a bit of a limp. A sudden shot of worry coursed through me.

His dad did this to him. His dad must have hurt him. I can just sense that his dad hurt him.

And sensing that made myself hurt even worse.

"Eli? Who's at the doo- Oh! Clare sweetheart you're home!" Helen exclaimed, she rushed over to me, slightly shoving Eli out of the way to do so. I felt her skinny arms embrace me and she held me close.

"Oh thank God you're safe. I was about to rush out of the house and search for you! You were gone for more than two hours!" Helen exclaimed. I sighed and half smiled.

"Sorry Helen. I left to blow off steam and I went to Fiona's condo to talk to her and Alli. Sorry for not telling you." I apologized. Helen smiled sympathetically.

"Its alright, sweetie. The good thing is that you're home now. That's all that matters, honey." Helen cooed, holding me closer.

When we finally broke apart, I looked at Eli and then at Darcy, who had been standing at the foot of the stairs the whole time, Darcy's eyes held this jealousy that was so strong, you could basically see the green in her skin and eyes.

"Too bad you didn't stay out there." Darcy growled. Helen spun on her heel and looked at Darcy.

"Darcy Sofia! I am up to here with your attitude towards, Clare. You're an adult, start acting like one young lady!" Helen demanded. I shriveled up behind Helen, I look over at Eli, who was looking at the argument going on between Helen and Darcy, Eli looked over at me and mouthed.

"What's happening with those two?"

I didn't even mouth back, I just pointed at myself before slithering past all three of them to go up to my room.

I shut my door behind myself and sat on the edge of my bed, I could feel the tears well up in my eyes and soon they were washing down my face, I covered my face with my hands and cried, what else could I do? I'm ruining the mother and daughter relationship between Helen and Darcy and its making me feel sick and horrible.

I hate it. I hate it so much.

Soon my bedroom door opened and I expected to feel skinny arms embrace me or Darcy's loud booming voice yell at me. But it was neither.

I felt the weight on the bed shift and I looked up to see it was Eli who was next to me, he looked around the room.

"Nice.. Er, pink room." Eli complimented. What was even happening? Why was he in here? Why wasn't he downstairs, with Darcy? Why was he upstairs, here, with me?

"Uhm.. Tha-thanks." I stammered, I quickly started to wipe tears away and sniffled, I looked up to see that Eli was staring at me, he quickly looked away and we sat like that for a while.

In complete and utter silence.

"Its crazy downstairs." Eli said. "So I came up here. I knew my way around here." Eli added. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"You're acting very calm. I'd be expecting you to be full on rampage because I live here." I said. Eli shrugged.

"I already knew." Eli simply said.

Now that I didn't expect.

"You.. You knew that I lived here?.. Do you also know the rest of it? That I'm.. Darcy's sister?" I asked softly. Eli nodded. I could feel my jaw fall open.

"How did you know all of this? Darcy made me swear to not tell a soul and I haven't." I said. Eli chuckled, something that sounded actually real, it was a nice sound to hear.

"Darcy should have sworn herself. She's the one who actually slipped up and told me. She told me a couple weeks ago actually." Eli confessed. I gasped.

"Why did Darcy tell you? She said if anyone knew about me and her being sisters, she'd be humiliated." I said, remembering Darcy's exact words to me. Eli sighed.

"Remember when you fainted in the cafeteria?" Eli asked. I nodded and blushed, that was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life right there.

"Well after you left the nurses office, I found you leaning against some lockers, looking sickly and about ready to pass out, so I decided to take you home.." Eli trailed off.

I vaguely remembered that. I was in and out of consciousness when Eli found me, I remember feeling him carry me, but after that, I had already passed out, I couldn't remember what else had happened.

"But then Darcy was walking around and saw me with you and had a absolute freak out on me. She drove me to your house and I put you in bed and.. Yeah.." Eli trailed off again. I looked at Eli to see that his face was slightly flushed, he was obviously blushing as well.

It looked good on him… Really good.

"Well.. Are you okay now?" Eli asked, at first I wasn't sure what he was asking about and then I remembered, he was wondering if I was okay again.

"Yeah. It was just a little cold. Nothing big." I lied. Eli must have bought it because he smiled slightly.

"That's good then. Uhm.. You know, you can trust me with you and Darcy's secret. I won't tell anyone. Trust me, Darcy would kill me. Literally kill me." Eli promised, I giggled and Eli chuckled right along.

Our laughs sounded right together.

Sort of harmonic.

"Yeah. I trust you." I said softly and strangely I did.

I didn't just trust drunk Eli, but I was trusting sober Eli too. This Eli that was sitting next to me wasn't hyped up on any drink, he was perfectly sober and was being sweet.

Something completely out of character with him.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

You know that shit feeling you get after waking up from a nap or a short span of sleep? Yeah I'm feeling that feeling.

I yawned and looked at my surroundings, I was in a dark room with the only light being the moon which was shining its light through pink lace curtains.

Pink lace curtains.

Shit, I was still in Clare's room.

Shit.. I was _asleep _in Clare's room.

I looked around and saw that there was something or more likely, someone asleep on my chest. Her curly reddish brown hair in my face, but I could still see her small porcelain face fast asleep.

I couldn't believe she was asleep on me. Our clothes weren't off, we were just asleep.

Part of me wanted to grab Clare and hold her closer and never let her go, the other part told me to leave the house.

The other part won, I gently peeled Clare's arms off around me and gently set her down on her bed. I threw a small blanket over her body and smiled softly at how cute she looked when she was asleep.

She looked like a little bunny.

"I have got to shut my thoughts off." I mumbled to myself when realizing what I was thinking.

I silently snuck out of her room and quickly fled downstairs, grabbing my bag during the process, I was about out the door when I heard a stern voice say.

"Where are you going?" Darcy said sternly.

Shit.

I turned around and looked at the angry brunette, she obviously had this angry look on her face and her eyes clearly showed that.

"I'm getting out of here." I said simply, shrugging as well.

Darcy shook her head and started taking steps towards me.

"Oh hell no. You're safe here, Eli. I'm not letting you go out there and come back all bruised and broken like always. I'm sick of that!" Darcy exclaimed.

Despite hearing her words, I also saw something as well, a large welt on the side of her neck, I smirked knowing what that was.

"Got a hickey from Declan?" I teased, Darcy's attention was forced at the visible hickey on her neck, she quickly went red and hid her hickey.

"Its uhm.. Its nothing." Darcy said quietly. I snickered.

"Suuuure its not, Darce. Look just go back upstairs to rich boy, I'm sure he's awaiting for what's between your legs- I mean you." I sneered.

Before Darcy could even process an emotion, I was out of the door, dashing down the sidewalk, off in the night.

Once I was about a couple blocks away from the Edwards house, I pulled my cell phone out and dialed a number I was beginning to know by heart and she answered on the first ring despite her extremely groggy voice.

"Hello?"

"Jenna? Its Eli. I was wondering if I could take you up on that offer you told me about yesterday on the phone…' I trailed off. If I could see Jenna in person, I could only imagine the smirk on her bubbly face.

"And what was that offer again?" Jenna asked, she obviously knew, she just wanted me to say it. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"I want to sleep with you."

And with that I had an invitation to casa de Middleton.

"Oh hey there handsome." Jenna greeted me with a sloppy kiss on the lips, I gladly returned the kiss, when we broke apart, she grabbed my hand and led me inside her home.

"Won't your parents wonder why you brought some guy who _isn't _your boyfriend home at two in the morning?" I wondered, looking around at how _empty _the house looked.

As I set my bag down, Jenna let go of my hand and walked into the kitchen and started rummaging through cabinets.

"I don't live with my parents. My mom left me, my brother Kyle and my dad when I was three. And my dad is on constant business trips. He sends enough money here for Kyle to use to pay the bills." Jenna explained. I felt a twinge of guilt in my stomach.

"Oh.. I'm sorry Jenna. Then why isn't Kyle here?" I asked. Jenna shrugged.

"He doesn't live here either. He comes by when its time to pay bills and then leaves me here to go off with his girlfriend. I'm use to it, its nice living alone." Jenna said with pursed lips.

Obvious lies.

"Oh.. I'm sorry about that too." I apologized. I never knew Jenna was an abandoned child. Basically on her own at fifteen.

"Yeah, but there is the perks of this." Jenna said with a seductive smile, she grabbed my hand and slowly started leading me up the stairs.

"Jenna.. I don't think we should do this tonight. I mean I love to have sex and all, but I'm tired and I'm not really into it tonight." I admitted. Jenna cocked her head to the side and slowly smiled.

"I'll make you change your mind, handsome." Jenna crooned, she placed her hands on either side of my face, pulling me into a deep kiss, I couldn't help but kiss her back, my hands finding their way to her back, caressing her back, pulling her closer. Jenna moaned against my lips and moved her hands to my chest, making me break away and wince at the pain. Jenna gasped and quickly apologized.

"Its okay, Jenna. I'm just getting into too many fights." I lied. Jenna tsked.

"You need to stop fighting, Eli. It isn't helping out that handsome face you have." Jenna complimented, tracing my face with her hands.

"Uhm thanks." I said, Jenna's hands started tracing my neck, she skipped my chest and started tracing my stomach and slowly worked her hands into my pants.

In that moment she grasped my cock, she knew she had me wrapped around her finger for the night.

I knew that too, but didn't even fight it back.

I didn't wanna be in control tonight.

I didn't care.

* * *

_Cece's Point of View:_

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE, CECILIA!" Daniel roared, I flinched back.

I hated seeing Daniel so angry, hated it with all my heart and I rarely ever hated anything.

"He's probably at a friends house." I tried to say calmly.

Daniel started to calm down and sighed, running a hand through his hair. The smell of booze was strong off of him.

"Well if he comes in late, tell him I wanna talk to him first thing in the morning." Daniel ordered. I nodded feverishly.

And shockingly, Daniel pressed his alcohol stained lips against me in a ragged kiss, when he broke apart the kiss, he smiled.

"God, I love you Cece." Daniel swooned before leaving the house.

Gasping for air after the kiss, I realized it wasn't even a kiss.

I felt nothing.

Nothing that I use to feel with Daniel.

I couldn't do this anymore.

I couldn't go upstairs and wait for Daniel to stumble in even MORE drunk.

I had to leave while I could. Knowing that I probably couldn't reach, Eli at this time, I sighed and quickly scrawled something down for Eli on a notepad, I ripped the paper out and folded it up and bolted upstairs, leaving it on his bed and sighed.

I was leaving my baby boy.

But if I were to somehow find him after all of this, I'll take him with me anywhere.

Grabbing a bag and stuffing as much clothes I could in there and a picture of Eli, I bolted out of the house, grabbing the car keys and taking off in the night.

Leaving my family behind for good.

Or until I see Eli again.

Which I had doubts of.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

"_Don't do this, Drew. Drugs aren't worth it." _The strange Adam-voice said. I groaned.

"Just shut up. I can do whatever the fuck I want." I grumbled, pulling a bag of weed from my pocket and a piece of paper.

"_This isn't you, Drew. Look I know things have been rocky since I've died and you and Alli split up, but this doesn't mean you can turn to weed to calm your nerves. You're better than this, Drew. Please.. Don't do this." _The Adam-voice pleaded. I scoffed.

"Better than this? My life is shit, Adam. You know it. Now leave me alone and go stalk mom with your weird voice like presence." I spat, taking a puff from the weed in my hand.

The voice sighed and said.

"_Fine, I'll leave for now. But I'll be back, Drew. I won't stop until you stop. Remember that." _The Adam-voice said and with that the voice disappeared from my head.

Finally I could smoke in peace, but his words hung over me like heavy rain.

_I won't stop until you stop._

Did he really mean that? The Adam-voice? Did he mean that he wouldn't stop haunting me until I stopped?

Ugh, I really need to get a therapist to talk about these Adam-voices that started happening and with that I relaxed with just my weed in my hand and my mind monster free.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

Jenna's body was fast asleep next to mine, but I wasn't asleep. I had been wide awake since the sex started and even after it ended.

But what I was doing here? Sleeping in Jenna's bed? Hell, sleeping with Jenna? I was backstabbing KC right now, sleeping with his girlfriend.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this with Jenna anymore.

What happened to me? I never use to sleep with other guy's girlfriends.

It was becoming too much of a hassle and with Clare.. Clare. I smiled thinking of her name, but quickly shook that from my mind.

But with Clare on my mind, its fucking everything up for me.

I can't concentrate when I have two girls on my mind.

"Fuck this." I mumbled, throwing the covers back and quickly putting my clothes on. I didn't even bother telling Jenna I was leaving, I just grabbed my bag and left, walked into the cool air and had no idea where I was going.

No idea at all.

* * *

Sorry for the late chapter! I'll try to update every two days, I've been doing other things as well, hah. (: Hope you enjoy it~!


	11. Secrets Overtake Us

_**Warning: Many point of views, drug use, sexual content, cursing, sexual tension and a ~~~shocking end~~~**_

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I could hear the crunch of the leaves beneath my shoes as I walked through the cemetery. Many gravestones with many names of many people who meant a whole lot to many people.

Many people who had a life to live.

Many people who's lives were taken or they took themselves.

Lives that are lost and are never returned once in the clutches of God or Satan.

Depends on how good life can be to see who's clutches you'll end up in.

As I walked towards Adam's grave, I noticed a figure already there, leaning against another grave, their head tilted back indicating that they were asleep.

I quickened my pace towards the grave and stepped on a small twig, causing a loud snap to erupt in the cold and silent air.

Suddenly the figure's eyes snapped open and looked in my direction.

It was Eli.

Once Eli recognized me, he tried to stand up, but he was overcome with pain in his chest, that he clutched at his chest and stayed leaned against the other gravestone.

I dropped my bag and sat next to Eli, who was still panting heavily, searching for some air that wouldn't hurt him.

"Why are you here?" I asked quietly. It sounded like a quick wisp in the air, carrying on as the slight wind did.

"I didn't have anywhere else to go." Eli responded with a quiet voice as well, I looked at him and noticed my best friend staring head on at Adam's grave. A look of pure sadness overtakes his emerald eyes and I could swear that he would start crying.

My brother, Adam was Eli's only real friend here. Both were freaks in ways and stuck with each other, chose to hang out with one, you got the other too.

Those two would have been the two on the "friendship" page in the yearbook, but both would have been too stubborn and disgusted to even think about waving their friendship in everyone's faces when everyone already knew about their strong friendship.

"What happened at Darcy's? I thought you were gonna stay there until your dad calmed down." I asked again. I would have let Eli stay at my house if my mother wasn't such a bitch and my step-dad wasn't such a pushover, always doing and obeying whatever she said.

The worst couple to have ever been married.

I've always suspected it to be a marriage just for the hell of it. Mom needed someone after dad and her divorced, and Omar, my step dad needed someone after his wife died in a tragic car accident that wasn't even her fault.

They both needed someone to fill the void of the one they truly loved.

They filled each others spots.

Pretty shitty, but whatever helps them live I suppose.

I heard Eli sigh heavily and lift his head a bit.

"Something really bad happened at Darcy's. I thought I could trust her, you know? I only trust three people anymore. Well two now. You and my mom. Trust.. Its hard for me to gain trust with people if all that ever happens is that I get shit on everytime. Everytime I let my walls down, everytime I open my door or window a bit so people could see inside my mind, nothing ever turns out okay for me, Drew. Never. I can't trust no one anymore. I.. I.." I realized that Eli was having trouble speaking and when I saw why, my mouth parted a bit.

Eli was crying.

Full fledged crying, tears streaming down his face and he was trying to utter some words, but couldn't, it was like his tongue was forbidding him too and it was making him even more upset, until he finally said it.

".. I.. I want Adam back." Eli choked out.

Just hearing Eli mention Eli's name shocked me, Eli rarely ever says Adam's name and I'm sure he hasn't since Adam's funeral. Had Eli even been there? I can't remember, I was too caught up in my own emotions to even care about Adam's friends. Or friend.

"He would have an answer to everything, Drew. I know Adam would, but he doesn't now!" Eli exclaimed, his sadness turning into anger quickly.

"He doesn't have an answer for ANYTHING! I've been sitting here asking him what I should do about Jenna. Or what I should do about these feelings I have towards Clare. Or how should I try to stop my only friend from doing drugs I.. I.." Eli whimpered.

Woah. That was too much to even comprehend, but the one thing that stuck out to me was.

"_Or how should I try to stop my only friend from doing drugs." _

"Hey now. Don't try to drag me into this." I warned. Eli sharply turned towards me.

"Why not? You need help if you're thinking that weed is gonna solve all your problems, Drew! I'm not stupid, I can smell the weed coming off your body! I can see the dazed look in your eyes! You're consumed by the drugs. God knows what else you do besides weed!" Eli exclaimed. I saw as Eli picked up the bag of weed that had fallen from my pocket and he stuffed it in his own backpack.

"You're not getting this back." Eli said firmly

I could feel anger boil in my veins.

"Don't bring up what I do, Eli. It isn't any of your goddamn business! Now give it back!" I shouted. Eli scowled, ignoring my plea for my weed."YES IT IS! DON'T YOU SEE THAT YOU'RE MY ONLY FRIEND LEFT? YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ANYMORE, DREW. I DON'T WANT ANOTHER FRIEND TO DIE! I DON'T WANNA GET ANOTHER PHONE CALL FROM YOUR MOM SAYING THAT YOU OVERDOSED OR SOMETHING. I DON'T FUCKING WANT THAT!" Eli screamed.

I was silent.

He was silent.

What more was there to be said?

Nothing at all.

I stood up and grabbed my bag as I did so, slinging it over my shoulder and started walking towards the rising sun.

"Where the hell are you going?" Eli asked softly. I stopped, but didn't turn around to look at him.

"None of your business. Just stay the hell out of my personal life, Eli. We can be friends just for show, but you can't know things about me or fix me. I'm past being fixed. So stop, dude. Just stop." I replied with before I took off.

Eli didn't come after me.

Neither did Adam-voice.

Even though I wanted them both to do so desperately.

* * *

_Fiona's Point of View:_

I turned the doorknob open to Drew's bedroom, his room was a bit messy, the bed sheets undone and the desk messy, some clothes lying around. But it was his room.

I was in Drew's room.

I haven't been in his room since that one night.. That one night that me and Drew managed to keep a secret, until it was let loose to Adam.

I closed my eyes, I was part of the reason, Adam was dead.

I feel like I was the one who gave him the pills to overdose on.

I feel like this was all my fault, Drew had calmed me down saying that I didn't do anything wrong, that _we_ didn't do anything wrong, but that was the biggest crock of shit I had ever heard.

We had done something.

Drew just pretended we didn't.

Well I don't play pretend for long.

I walked around his room, I couldn't help myself but to trail my fingers over his papers, feel his pressed writing underneath my fingertips.

"What are you doing here?" Drew asked warily. I turned around quickly to find myself face to face with Drew, he was standing in the doorway, his bag in his hand and confused look on his face.

"Uhm.. Your dad let me in." I said softly. Drew sighed and threw his bag on his bed and brushed past me slightly to sit down on the edge of his bed.

Drew didn't say a word so I expected that I was still allowed to roam around his room, I noticed the guitar in the corner immediately.

"You play?" I asked.

"Not since he passed away." Drew answered quickly.

"Oh.." was all I could say.

"Why are you even here? Gotta get something from Adam's room or something?" Drew asked, I shook my head.

"No. I actually came here to talk to you about you and Alli to be honest.." I admitted. Drew groaned.

"Has she been saying that she hopes that I get back together with her? Because if she does, tell her I said no. I don't want a girlfriend right now." Drew said harshly. I shook my head again.

"No. I mean.. Remember the night we uhm.. We hooked up?" I asked quietly.

Silence danced around us.

"Yes. We swore to never speak of it ever again and yet here you are.. Speaking of it." Drew pointed out. I groaned.

"I know. I think.. I think we should tell, Alli. I feel bad all these months for never telling her that during your guys relationship, I had sex with you. Only Adam knew.." I trailed off, but Drew picked up.

"Yeah and then Adam overdosed. Want that to happen to Alli?" Drew exclaimed. I closed my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose.

"No, Drew. I just want no more secrets hidden anymore. I had this overwhelming guilt. Everytime Alli looks at you, she is still in love with you and everytime I see that, I imagine the night we had sex and I feel freaking terrible for hurting my best friend and-"

Before I could eve finish the sentence, I felt Drew's hand on my arms and he was kissing me.

Literally kissing me on the mouth, hard.

I didn't ignore the sexual feeling I was getting from this experience with Drew, I continued on with it, allowing my instincts to take over.

I felt my back lay down on his messy bed and I could feel him straddle me, his kisses becoming more relaxed, but longer.

I loved every bit of it.

Until I could smell the weed off of his breath.

I pushed Drew away and looked at him, "Are you high?" I asked. Drew shrugged and pulled back from me. I scoffed.

"I thought I knew you. I thought I knew the Drew who said no to drugs." I spat. Drew scoffed.

"No one ever says no to drugs, Fiona. Not even you did that night." Drew spat.

"It was beer moron! I didn't get high! I got drunk and fucked you! Difference!" I exclaimed. Drew smirked.

"But you tried some weed that night. Don't deny it, Fiona." Drew said with a cocky smile. I felt disgusted and violated after feeling his kisses.

I needed to get out.

I just shook my head and bolted from his room.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I knew I couldn't go home, go home to see mom crying and dad being the normal asshole he has become.

To see him, see me and beat me endlessly until my last breath it taken.

To see the satisfied smirk on his face when seeing I'm dead.

To see how that would make him happy, sickened me completely.

I knew I couldn't go back to Darcy's home.

To see Darcy would make me angrier than hell, to see that she would scold me and probably give me Indian burns until I tell her what's happening with me.

To see Clare.. Just to simply see Clare would hurt me.

To see that she was so unhappy there, to see that she was crying.. Again.. It would hurt even worse.

To see the look on her face when she wakes up this Sunday morning to see that I left her alone in her bed without me.

Hopefully she doesn't remember us falling asleep on each other last night.

It'd be better that way in a sense.

So instead.. I find myself in Jenna's home in front of her door, I left my bag in the living room like I did last night and creeped up her stairs hoping that she was still asleep.

As I pushed the door open, I saw that she was still asleep, curled up in the fetal position.

I walked over slowly and carefully and kicked my shoes off, joining her in the bed careful not to wake her, I was facing her when her eyes fluttered open and she saw me.

Her seeing me made her grin sleepily.

"You stayed." Jenna murmured, her eyes half shut.

"Of course I did. Where else would I go?" I replied, faking a smile that she would easily mistake as a real one.

"Not many guys stick around afterwards. Not even KC and I'm still with him" Jenna explained briefly. I felt more regret and guilt eating at my stomach at her words.

"No one loves me. But I'm okay with that." Jenna added. I gulped and ran my hand through her long blond hair."_I _stick around. _I _care." I whispered. Jenna smiled softly at me before dozing back off into her slumber.

My small smile had faltered as soon as she had fallen asleep.

Like every other guy in her life, I was playing her.

And that only made me feel even more like shit.

Soon enough Monday came around and I found myself walking in late with Jenna in tow.

Everyone's eyes were on us, like they expected this to happen. Did they? Did they expect Jenna and KC to break up and Jenna to come to me?

Because if they did, it'd be the wrong thing to expect.

I could feel Jenna's fingers brush up against me, she wanted so desperately to grab my hand, I could feel the tension coming off of her that it was crazy.

When we finally came to my locker, I could tell she waited for a kiss.

Some sort of kiss, a kiss I didn't even wanna give her, hell she was still with KC!

And Clare was only a couple lockers down, pulling books from her own locker.

Instead I gave Jenna a awkward side hug and quickly turned to my own locker, I heard Jenna mumble something along the lines of, "Pussy."

As the bell shrilled in the air, I didn't speed up to grab my books and try to make it to first period, instead I took my time grabbing my books, slowly stuffing them in my already light backpack.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw Clare next to me, she was holding the bag of weed out to me.

"This fell out of your backpack. Better be more careful where you stash your stash." Clare warned. I sighed.

"Its not even mine. I'm holding it for someone." I said, which was actually truthful for once. Clare scoffed.

"Yeah. Oldest excuse in the book. Try something new, Eli." Clare spat. I rolled my eyes and stuffed my bag of weed into the bottom of my backpack, I was slinging my backpack over my shoulder when I heard Clare say,

"That stuff will eventually kill you too." Another eye roll from me.

"Go ahead and roll your eyes, Eli. Go ahead and take this as a joke, but weed messes up your brain." Suddenly Clare laughed harshly. "Watch one day as I share a hospital room with you, a messed up druggie."

I gave her the strangest look ever, that was by far the most disturbing thing she has ever said.

"I was being sarcastic." Clare said once she saw my face. I rolled my eyes.

"Sure." I replied with as I closed my locker.

".. You never stayed." Clare whispered. I looked at her and swallowed.

So she _did _remember.

"I'm sorry?" I tried to apologize. The truth was that I wanted to genuinely apologize to her, tell her I was sorry for leaving her last night when I should have kept her close all night.

"Doesn't matter. Not like you would have stuck around anyway." Clare murmured. There was silence dancing around us and I didn't move from my spot by my locker. I noticed Clare was grabbing a bottle of pills from her locker and pulling a few from her bottle and taking them.

"Looks like your taking drugs too." I said with a smirk. Clare blushed.

"It isn't what your thinking and anything it isn't your business." Clare scoffed as she walked off to Dawes class.

"You _are_ my business." I said, a bit too loudly I think, because Clare briefly stopped, looked at me and then said nothing as she scurried off to class.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

_You are my business. You are my business. You __**are**_ _my business. _Those words were repeating themselves in my head.

Did he really say that? Could he have or was that my mind playing games on me.

I looked up from my desk when I saw Eli walk in twenty minutes late to class.

"Ah. Mr. Goldsworthy. Of course I'd expect you to jump on the late train with Ms. Edwards. Now take your seat." Ms. Dawes said. Eli shrugged and took his seat in front of me as always.

I stared intently at the back of Eli's head for what seemed like the remainder of the period, when I heard Eli whisper.

"I can feel you staring at me. Stop freak." Eli spat. I sighed.

"Your big fat head is in the way, Eli. Ever though about straightening out that poof of hair on your head?" I spat.

Before Eli could even respond to me, something horrible happened.

The ground starting moving.

Everything started moving.

Suddenly someone shouted, "EARTHQUAKE!"

"Everyone under your desks!" Ms. Dawes shouted, everyone did as they were told, I quickly got under my desk, pulling my knees up to my chest and cradling them to my body as I shut my eyes.

Suddenly I felt warm strong arms embrace me, I knew those arms, they had held me two nights ago. I didn't break away or call him anything.

I didn't do anything that would risk this new feeling of protection.

I snuggled my face into his chest and only felt his embrace on me tighten.

"Don't let me go." I whispered loud enough for him to hear.

"I never would." Eli responded back, his head resting on mine as the ground continued to shake.

* * *

DUN DUN DUN DUN! Haha.(: ALSO, I have a question for you guys, would you ever want the link to my tumblr and twitter? That way you can know more about me as the author? If you don't say no, if you do, say yes. (:

Hope you enjoyed it!


	12. The Need To Protect

**Warning: **blood, sexual frustration, && lots of sobbing

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

The ground couldn't stop moving, I couldn't help but feel my stomach roll around uneasily while feeling the continuous shaking.

My eyes wandered to an empty seat three rows over, a Gucci bag laid there, open somewhat, I knew that Gucci bag anywhere and it wasn't with its owner.

Quickly I shouted over the commotion,

"WHERE'S FIONA?"

Everyone looked over at me in shock that I have even uttered a word, much less concerning where Fiona may be at.

Although someone did answer me, Marisol.

"SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO THE WASHROOM!" Marisol screamed over the commotion.

I didn't even check to see if anything was going to fall on me, I just bolted straight for the door and rushed down the hall to see something that I never expected to see.

Fiona was laying down by a fallen trophy case, as I ran closer, I saw that blood was coming from her head and pouring out onto the floor, she was knocked unconscious for God knows how long.

Despite the blood getting on my clothes, I pulled Fiona's unconscious body onto my lap and held her close, I shouted.

"HELP! SOMEONE HELP! CALL 911! ANYONE PLEASE!"

I looked back down at Fiona, hoping to see some sort of sign of movement.

Nothing, she looked practically dead.. No.

She couldn't be dead.

Not on my watch, she wouldn't die.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I had my face pressed against his chest for what seemed like forever, and I wanted forever to be **forever. **

I was content here, I was safe and protected here.

Eli wouldn't dare let me go, his arms like vices around my small body, holding me tight, I could still feel his breath down my neck as his head laid on my head, rocking me slowly.

I wondered if he knew he was even doing at the moment.

Then all of a sudden, the ground stopped shaking.

No one moved though, Eli continued to rock me back and forth.

I heard, Ms. Dawes's voice ask concerned,

"Is everyone okay?"

No one responded, but I could hear shuffle of feet and desks being pushed aside to stand up, so people _were _okay.

"Are you alright?" Eli whispered in my ear, I nodded.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, he breathed a quick yes and let me go to stand up.

I stood up on shaky legs and Eli stood up as well, but on stronger legs than me.

"No one's hurt?" Ms. Dawes's asked us again, scanning her eyes across the classroom.

With no response to that, Ms. Dawes's took that as a yes.

"I have to talk to the administrates about what to do next, so please stay in the classroom and if an aftershock happens, please stay under your desks." Ms. Dawes advised us before she bustled out of the room.

Everyone in the class slowly started separating into their social groups, sharing reactions to the earthquake that just happened.

I looked at Eli and sighed,

"Thanks for.. What you did back there." I thanked him, Eli stiffly nodded and looked down at the ground.

"Why did you do it? You hate me and not even five minutes ago I was making fun of your hair." I asked curiously, this time, Eli sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Don't think I'm weird or anything, but.. I felt the need to protect you back there. Something told me to get out from under my desk and under yours and to hold you and protect you. For some strange reason, I obeyed whatever told me to do that and I.. protected you." Eli explained while looking down at the floor.

I gave Eli a confused yet soft look, Eli looked up and blushed a bit.

"Yeah yeah. I know. Its weird and creepy. But don't judge." Eli said with a quick chuckle. I smiled uneasily.

"No.. I don't find it weird and creepy at all. It just that.." I paused. "I've never expected anyone, especially you to come and protect me. No one ever protects me." I said more glumly then I wanted to.

Eli raised an eyebrow,

"Why wouldn't anyone protect you, Clare? I mean, I can understand why _I _wouldn't. But why wouldn't anyone else protect you? You have friends." Eli said. I snorted.

"Yeah, Alli and Fiona and do you think that those two would save me from a falling bookcase, Eli?" I asked him with a smirk, Eli chuckled lightly.

"I suppose not." he then paused. "I like your sense of humor." Eli complimented me. I smiled.

"Thanks. I didn't know you knew what humor even was." I said, Eli shrugged.

"I don't really smile anymore. Genuinely anyways." Eli admitted, my smile faltered.

"And why is that? You seem pretty peachy when you're bullying people or running off with Jenna." It was hard having to say Jenna's name.

"I'm not exactly _happy _doing that, Clare. It pretty sickening what I do to people around here." Eli said softly.

"I don't find that hard to believe at all." I responded, Eli cocked an eyebrow.

"Really? Why is that?" Eli asked, I swallowed and answered,

"You're just hiding who you truly are. You're probably not this big scary guy everyone thinks you are. Its just all for show. Yet you're afraid to go back to being the real you that you use to be because you're afraid of being alone." I explained, Eli still had an eyebrow cocked.

"The real me? I don't follow, Edwards." Eli replied. I rolled my eyes.

"You can quit the act, Eli. No ones looking. Stop pretending." I said sternly, Eli's façade dropped quickly and he sighed."I know.. I know." Eli whispered.

Maybe now would be the good time to tell Eli that I _do _know about his life. That I know it all, maybe if I tell him, I could help him out. Make him better his life. I've always wanted to better someone's life, its what I want to accomplish before I die.

I sighed deeply and began to tell him,

"Listen Eli. I know about it all. I know that your best friend, Drew's brother, Adam committed suicide because he was a transgender. I know about why Drew is so quiet, that its all because of Alli and Adam. I know that you hook up with Jenna just to make it seem like everything will okay by having sex, but you're just hurting her. I know that your dad.. I know that he beats you and your mom, but your mom does nothing of it." I explained all in one breath, I paused, waiting for his reaction.

Suddenly, Eli was full of rage, he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into the corner of the classroom and his face was inches from mine when he spat,

"Who told you?"

It took me a while to even find my tongue to speak,

"You did." I said confused.

Eli was still angry and seemed to get more furious by the second, he raised his voice even higher. "WHO TOLD YOU?" Eli shouted.

By this time, the whole classroom was staring at us in awe, Eli still had me by the wrist and looked like he was about to throw me against a wall, everyone was certainly enjoying this show.

Everyone but me.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I still had Fiona's unconscious body on my lap, more blood was seeping from her head, I had already taken my jacket off and pressed it firmly against her head, but it was doing no good, she was still bleeding profusely.

I looked up to see a great majority of people standing around, looking shocked to see that Fiona was bleeding, but their stares didn't matter.

"Did anyone call 911?" I asked loudly, I saw some blank expressions, but Marisol nodded.

"I just called not too long ago. They're on their way." Marisol said, her eyes were full of fear as she glanced down at Fiona.

Soon I heard a sobbing girl next to me, Alli.

"What happened?" Alli cried out, her makeup running down her face as she pushed back Fiona's hair to get a good look at Fiona's face.

I felt frustrated and pissed with everyone around me and not only that, but Alli was right next to me and it wasn't doing any good for me.

"I don't know! I think the trophy case fell and hit her head! I really don't know, Alli!" I shouted. Alli was still sobbing next to me, I saw her grab Fiona's hand and kiss it."She has to be alright, right? She just has to. Right?" Alli asked, looking up at me with those big brown eyes that I fell in love with.

I didn't say a word to her as I adverted my attention back to Fiona, what could I say? That Fiona would be alright?

I wasn't even sure of that myself, she was bleeding pretty badly.

I had a feeling she wouldn't make it.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I managed to pull myself out of Eli's grip and when I did so, I faced the class,

"Go ahead. Tell them, Eli. They seem so interested." I said and I was walking toward where my seat was so I can sit down, everyone did seem interested. Their eyes widen with excitement for Eli's "big news".

But Eli grabbed my arm, softly this time and spun me around so I can see him.

"When. When did I tell you?" Eli asked quickly, I pulled my arm away and crossed them across my chest.

"At Sav's party. I was walking around looking for Alli or Fiona, when I found you sitting by yourself, wasting away on beer and cigarettes. That's when you spilled the beans on your home life. Looks like what they say about alcohol is true, when someone is drunk, they always say the truth." I observed, I saw Eli's expression go from angry to surprised to disappointment - in himself.

"I was drunk!" Eli exclaimed. "That's just fucking peachy. Great. Ugh." Eli then pulled his wallet out from his back pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. "How much do you want?"

I was confused. How much did I want? I didn't understand.

"What?" I asked confused, Eli sighed.

"How much do you want for keeping your mouth shut about my secrets?" Eli asked, showing me the wad of cash. I scoffed.

"I realize that I'm the last person on this planet that you would _ever _tell your secrets too, but I would never, NEVER accept money from you so I could keep a secret. I've kept this secret a secret for the past couple of weeks, I'm not going to slip up about me. I know we don't like each other, but I'm not the type of girl who would spread that secret around just so your life is horrible." I explained, feeling disgust toward Eli.

I noticed some people start to leave the room, obviously our little show got boring for them.

I saw Eli lean against the wall and slide down, stuffing his wallet into his back pocket again.

I felt guilt and pity for him, seeing his face turn sour and sad. I sighed and sat down next to him.

"Things could be worst, Eli." I commented. Eli scoffed.

"You're only saying that, because your parents died. Living with Darcy and Ms. Edwards is the best you could get. So stop pretending you know how it feels to be shit.. Stop relating me. Stop saying you know what I'm going through, because you have no fucking clue how I feel, Clare. None at all." Eli said through gritted teeth.

I could feel anger boil in my veins by hearing him trying to one up people in the pity party.

"You don't know that, Eli. For all you know, I could have it **way worse **than you." I said hastily. Eli rolled his emerald eyes.

"I find that to be highly impossible." Eli said.

"You're way too quick to judge, Eli." I retorted.

Suddenly, I could hear loud voices and sirens out in the hallway.

"What is going on out there." I muttered as I got to my feet and walked out of the classroom, Eli was close behind me.

I got closer and closer to the group of people surrounding something, I pushed my way through the crowd with the help of Eli to only see in my horror, Drew with a bloody unconscious Fiona in his lap, Alli was next to him, sobbing hysterically. I felt Eli push past me to kneel down by Drew and Fiona.

"What happened to her man?" Eli asked exasperated, looking at all the blood around them. Drew scoffed.

"As if you even cared, Eli." Drew spat, I had never heard Drew talk with such distaste in his voice, Eli sensed that and sprung back up next to me, I still had my eyes glued to the bloody Fiona, her skin seemed to get paler and paler as more blood drained out of her.

I quickly looked at Alli who's attention was all on Fiona.

"Has anyone called the paramedics, yet?" I screeched, thinking that the sirens were the police sirens outside.

Just then, paramedics rushed inside with a gurney, moving with force speed towards Fiona.

Students backed away as the paramedics came by and pried Fiona from Drew's bloody arms and loaded her onto the gurney, they shouted doctor gibberish at each other as they rushed outside of the school to load her onto the ambulance.

Suddenly, Ms. Dawes came into view, her face held sadness and she tried not to stare at the puddle of blood on the ground.

"Alright, alright. Nothing to see here, everyone go back to your classrooms and stay there until further notice." Ms. Dawes advised.

Everyone else walked back to their classrooms, everyone except, me, Eli, Drew and Alli.

Ms. Dawes saw us and sighed.

"Guys, Fiona will be alright. No need to worry, just report back to your classrooms." Ms. Dawes said.

I heard Alli's sobs become even louder.

"Please.. M-Ms. Dawes. Let us-us go with her." Alli pleaded between her sobbing.

I looked out the window to see that they were loading Fiona up into the ambulance, people were looking around the school in horror.

"Ms. Dawes." Drew began. Ms. Dawes's eyes widened at Drew even speaking. "Just please let us go with her. We can't just stay here and not know how she's doing." Drew asked exasperated. Ms. Dawes sighed.

"You do realize that I could get fired for this, right?" Ms. Dawes said warily.

None of us said anything, we just stared at Ms. Dawes. Ms. Dawes sighed loudly.

"Alright. You may go." Ms. Dawes said.

Alli threw her arms around Ms. Dawes's torso and hugged her,

"THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU!" Alli exclaimed and once Alli was finished hugging, Ms. Dawes, we were running out of the school, running straight towards Drew's truck.

Hoping it could take us to Fiona in time.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View: _

We had been sitting here in the waiting room for about five hours now, only new person accompanying us was Declan, Fiona's twin. Declan was an absolute mess, his hair was haywire and his eyes were red from crying for an hour straight, now he was fast asleep on the couch, his iPhone on his chest, ready to alert him whenever his and Fiona's mother were coming to Toronto to see Fiona.

I heard a hushed conversation to my left to see that Eli and Clare were awkwardly asking each other things, when they both stood up, blushed a bit and walked towards the direction of the cafeteria.

I wanted so badly to shout that they needed to bang already and I would supply the condoms.

My mind kept on racing back to Fiona, her bloody body in my hands. Her skin paling by the minute. Her heart slowing her, her brain shutting down.

I couldn't stand not knowing what was happening with her, not one bit of it.

I heard the click of heels approaching and I looked up to see that Alli took her seat by me.

"I couldn't find the doctor anywhere. I guess he's still in the ICU and they're pretty strict of allowing people in there." Alli reminded me for about the tenth time today, I've sent her off just to find the doctor, to see if Fiona was alright, but everytime she came back, it was the same old news.

Silence danced around us, like it always does when Alli breathed in heavily.

"I know about you and Fiona." Alli whispered, my head turned in her direction quickly.

"What? How?" I exclaimed, I saw Declan stir in his sleep from the noise, Alli quickly shushed me.

"Fiona came to my house yesterday, bawling her eyes out, apologizing over and over for sleeping with you. She hated having to keep it bottled up so long, so she came out about it to me." Alli exclaimed.

"What happened after that?" I asked softly. Alli shrugged.

"I forgive you two. It was a long time ago, things have changed, people have changed. I'm not angry or upset about it, I'm fine about it." Alli told me.

I didn't say anything to her reply at all, until Alli sighed and asked,

"Drew. Why are you even here?" Alli asked disgruntled.

I sighed and stared up at the white ceiling, which was slightly cracked.

"Same reason you are. To see if someone important to me, is alright."

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I've been sitting here with Clare a little over a half hour in the cafeteria. None of us have talked to each other and she wasn't even drinking her drink, she stirring it around with a straw.

The silence was eating at me, I had to find a way of conversation.

"So.. It was pretty nice of Ms. Dawes to let us out, huh?" I asked, Clare rolled her eyes.

"Eli. Why are you even here? You hated Fiona." Clare asked unamused.

"I never _hated _Fiona. Why would you think that?" I asked curiously. It was true, I never hated Fiona, she was nice, even if she was quiet and weird.

"Uhm. Because you called her ginger lover in the hall the other day?" Clare said. Then I remembered that I was teasing her about her liking towards Holly J.

"Oh.. Yeah. Well it was just a joke. Nothing serious." I explained quickly. Clare scoffed.

"Eli. You don't do that to girls. They are fragile!" Clare exclaimed. I bit my lip and looked up at Clare.

"Are you fragile?" I asked nervously. Clare shook her head and crossed her arms.

"We're not talking about me. We're talking about Fiona." Clare said.

I didn't say anything to her even though she was awaiting an answer from me, I just continued to drink my drink and bite my nails, which I do when I'm nervous.

Then out of the blue, Clare asks,

"Tell me about, Adam."

* * *

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	13. More Secrets To Keep

_**Warning: TOO MUCH DRAMA BRO.**_

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I watched as Eli stiffen at my words. His eyes were intent on his drink, his hands gripping the cup tightly.

I quickly placed my hand over his own, prying his fingers off the cup, he flinched at my touch and looked at me.

"Sorry." I mumbled, pulling my hands back into my lap, Eli smiled slightly.

"No.. its okay. You have soft hands, you know." Eli complimented me. I half smiled and nodded.

"Thanks. Lotion helps." I added.

There was a bout of silence between us, or maybe he was afraid to talk to me due to my possible pink cheeks or maybe I was too forward with asking about Adam."I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked about, Adam. That was rude." I said softly. Eli shook his head.

"No, its just that.. I can't talk about, Adam without thinking of what he.." Eli paused to collect his possible sad thoughts, ".. He did to himself. I can't see him the same, the way he use to be, all I ever think of is that damn suicide note." Eli grumbled. I nodded.

"I know about the note.. You showed me the night of Sav's party." I said, Eli sprung his head up and groaned.

"Ugh. Great. And that was a _really _personal letter too. Fuck." Eli cursed. I sighed.

"I'm sorry, but you told me that you memorized it and told it to me. I probably don't even remember what the letter even said." I lied.

Of course I remembered what that letter said, it was burned into my mind. Adam Torres' suicide letter was burned into my mind and I didn't even know him.

"Am.. Am I the only one who knows..? You know about Adam's suicide letter and Julia?" I whispered.

"You know about Julia?" Eli half whispered, half shouted. I quickly shushed him as people started looking over at us.

"Yes. You told me _everything _, Eli. Everything. Now tell me, am I the only one who knows?" I asked again. Eli sighed and ran a free hand through his dark thick hair.

"No, Drew knows too. I never told him though, he found out at an incontinent time, and probably Darcy is gonna find out since she's onto me about my bruises. Only Adam knew about Julia. I never told, Drew." Eli murmured.

"Why not?" I pressed. Eli shrugged.

"He's not really my friend, Clare. He's just.. A pretend friend." Eli said. I sighed and looked at a picture of a flower on the wall.

"You need real friends, Eli." I murmured. Eli scoffed.

"I'll never have _real _friends. What even is a friend? A person to talk to between classes? A person to talk to when you have no one else? A person to drag to lunch with? Friends aren't real, Clare. I only knew one friend.. Adam. And he was taken away from me. So.. I don't believe in friends." Eli hissed. I flinched at his incredibly true words.

I watched as a guy walked by and accidentally bumped into Eli's chair, pushing Eli forward and he suddenly screamed out in pain, clutching at his ribcage. I flung myself towards him and kneeled down by him.

"Eli! What's wrong? What hurts?" I exclaimed, my arm around his shoulders. Eli looked at me through his dark bangs. "Just.. Just my chest. Rough time playing football with Drew. He really pummeled me." Eli lied badly. I shook my head at his lie and whispered lowly.

"Did your dad do this to you?" Eli looked down and took in a deep breath of air.

"Maybe I deserved it, Clare." Eli whispered, I looked into his emerald eyes to see that he was on the verge of crying his eyes out.

"Eli, you know that you don't deserve this kind of pain, or any pain at all." I whispered, Eli looked up at me with the most pained eyes I had ever seen.

"Now, since we're here why don't we get those ribs checked out? I'm pretty sure they are broken and they'll probably take a while to heal if you don't get them checked out soon." I observed, Eli's eyes quickly turned into panic.

"No. Clare I can't. My dad, he'll find out someway and then the doctors are gonna ask why this happened and they won't believe me. It'll be a big mess. Please don't." Eli begged. I sighed and nodded."Alright alright. I'll just find you an icepack, at least that will cause some pain to go away." I advised, Eli nodded.

I grabbed his hand without realizing what I was doing and pulled him along to find a hospital room.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

"No. You see, Drew. I _have _a reason to be here. I'm Fiona's best friend and I care a lot about her. I have no idea why you are even here. You don't even care about her." Alli spat.

I didn't have anything to even say to her, I had no clue what to even say.

"_Why are you so scared to tell, Alli how you __**really **__feel about, Fi, Drew? What is there to lose? Just tell Alli." _The Adam voice hissed in my ear. I growled.

"Would you just leave already? You're not even freaking real!" I shouted annoyed, some nurses craned their necks over the counters to see me shouting.

"Uhm. I'm not going to leave here and I am real." Alli said confused. I snarled under my breath at her confusement.

I heard the Adam voice chuckle in my ear,

"_Haha, now she thinks you're crazy, dude. Nice going, Drewski. Nice going." _The Adam voice said.

I sighed and sat up straight, looking straight ahead, trying to ignore, Alli and "Adam".

"_Hah. I remember those time when you were so confused and didn't know who you liked." _The Adam voice chuckled, then his voice suddenly pitched deeper to mock mine.

"'_Adaaaaaam. Brooooooo. I don't know who I like man! Alli is so nice and funny and wonderful and not to mention smoking hot, but Fiona.. She's something special man!'" _The Adam voice returned to his regular tone. _"You were so stupid man. You didn't have to __**tell **__me about that, I was on a break with Fiona and that pretty much screwed shit up." _The Adam Voice groaned.

I growled deeply and found myself very frustrated.

"UGH! I never liked, Fiona!" I exclaimed.

"Uhm.. Nice to know?" Alli murmured confused. "Who are you talking to anyway?" Alli asked, looking at me like I had gone crazy and needed help.

"I need some air." I gasped as I ran out of the waiting room and into the fresh air, wanting it to engulf me whole.

"_Why do you always do that with, Alli? You __**love **__her and it seems like you don't do anything to be with her, man. It makes you look pathetic to be chasing after Alli secretly, but to never do anything about it makes you look stupid." _The Adam voice scolded.

"JUST GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! WHY ARE YOU EVEN STALKING ME?" I screamed.

After some birds squawked and flew away, I looked around to see that I was alone and I listened intently, to hear that "Adam" had left.

But I had been wrong, as always.

"_Is that what people call looking after loved ones nowadays? Stalking? Nice vocabulary there, Drew. Makes me feel special." _The Adam Voice said sarcastically.

"Why don't you go "watch over" Eli or something? Don't go after me." I advised.

I heard the Adam Voice laugh.

"_I __**do **__watch over, Eli. Almost always when I'm not with you. But Eli never hears me like you do. Must be Eli's mind so filled with Clare or Jenna. Ugh. I do hope he chooses the one with the awful 70's hair, Clare. Jenna is just bleh." _The Adam voice commented. I rolled my eyes at his commentary.

"Nice to know, Adam. Just try to get Eli to hear you then and then leave me alone." I scoffed. "I hate being haunted. Its creepy." I murmured._"God. Stop being such an douche hat. You may have a pretty face and have Alli wanting you, but that doesn't mean you can be an asshat. Fuck off, Drew." _The Adam Voice sneered.

Then like magic, it disappeared.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I found myself sitting in an unused hospital room with Eli. He was laying on the little cot with a icepack held against his bare chest.

I tried my hardest not to stare at his stomach either, but with a small peek, I saw his little four pack there, but he wasn't in the best of shape.

Something about that made me smile like a stupid idiot.

"Hey.. Thanks for staying and all." Eli murmured from his spot on the cot. I nodded."Its no problem." I replied.

The silence was eating at me, that and the fact that I wasn't sure if Fiona was even okay.

I took this free time to go see if she was.

"I'm gonna go back out to the waiting room and ask, Alli if Fiona is okay. Okay?" I told Eli. Eli merely hummed to tell me that he was okay with that.

I dashed from the room quickly, shutting the door behind me and walked quickly down the hall, weaving past doctors and nurses, I pushed open the heavy metal door leading to the waiting room to see Alli sitting there alone.

"Well its about damn time." Alli said as she saw me enter the waiting room. I approached her and smiled a bit.

"Sorry. Who knew the cafeteria had such long food lines?" I lied, adding a giggle to make it seem truthful, but of course Alli didn't buy it.

"Uh huh. Sureeee. And where happens to be Eli? You know, the lanky gothic asshole who hates you and you happen to hate back?" Alli wondered with sarcasm.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"You know, he isn't that bad once you get to know him. He's actually.. Pretty different." I said, defending Eli. Alli groaned.

"Oh God, please tell me that you are not falling for his trap?"

I looked at her confused,

"What trap?" I asked.

"Only the one that most girls fall for. His boyish hair and his lopsided smirk and his "winning" personality wins them over. He uses them and then throws them out like trash. He's with, Jenna, Clare. _Jenna! _Of all people! Once KC finds out, all hell with break loose, school cliques will shift badly."

I sighed,

"I realize that, Alli. But I don't like Eli like that. Also, he can be with Jenna if he wants too, its his choice, Alli. I really don't care." I lied smoothly. Alli cocked her head to the side and sighed."I'm just warning you, Clare. I don't wanna see you get hurt like many others have. Eli Goldsworthy is not worth any of the pain of heartbreak." Alli said.

"And you know all of this how? Did you hook up with, Eli?" I asked curiously, jealously panging me early if they ever did hook up.

Alli made a disgusted face,

"Oh God no. Gross. Never. Ugh." Alli said with a scrunched up face. "His hair is so.. Greasy. Its gross, Clare. And his mouth isn't even cute like everyone says. Ugh. The boy is not attractive one bit." I held my hands up.

"Okay okay." I chuckled. "I get it now."

I looked around the waiting room, expecting to see Drew sitting down, but he wasn't there."Where's Drew?" I asked, still looking around. Alli shrugged and looked at the door."Who even cares?" Alli said. "He's probably doing some drugs, smoking weed or maybe shooting up some heroin. Whatever he has these days." Alli said with a disgusted face.

I stayed with Alli for a few more minutes until I said I had to use the bathroom, I left the waiting room and was about to go into Eli's room, when I heard talking inside.

I could see through the small crack, that Eli had his phone out, and it was on speaker.

"_I have no fucking clue where you've been the past three days, but your mother left and now you've been gone too. I am PISSED, Elijah. Expect the absolute worst when you get home, Eli. Oh yeah, you'll get the worst. You'll get the worst for your mother leaving and YOU leaving. You can either come home on your own or I can call the police to bring you home. Whichever is easier for you. Take you pick." _

I gulped at the voicemail, most likely it being left by Eli's father, I walked inside to see Eli closing his phone and shoving it in his pocket.

"Where have you been staying for the past three days?" I asked as I walked in, Eli looked up at me and responded,

"I've been at Jenna's. She lives alone you know."

"..and the only reason you've been at her house was because of you not being able to handle me and Darcy and Helen and you don't wanna go home.." I trailed off and looked up at Eli, who shrugged.

"I happen to like, Jenna, Clare. A lot. If KC wasn't dating her, I would. Is it such a crime to stay at her house?" Eli questioned.

"Yeah it is. Since you **don't **like her. You're just using her to feel good. Which is messed up." I commented, crossing my arms across my chest.

Eli stood up and clapped his hands."Good for you, Clare. You've got me all figured out. You know all of this asshole's secrets. What do you want now? A cookie for a good job?" Eli said sarcastically, I sighed.

"I just wanna help." I whispered. Eli scoffed.

"Well don't. Just pretend that what happened with the earthquake and this little stunt with the icepack didn't happen. It _**never **_happened." Eli said before brushing past me to get out of the room.

And I was once again left alone by, Eli.

It seemed like this was happening more and more frequently.

The next day at school, the trophy case had been fixed and the blood had been cleaned, yet people still didn't wanna walk across the floor that Fiona almost bled to death on, it seemed disrespectful and creepy in a way.

"Did they say anything about, Fiona?" I heard Drew say in my ear lowly, I quickly turned around to see a very red eyed Drew in front of me. I shook my head.

"No. No new news." I whispered, pressing my books against my chest as I closed my locker. "Well.. Can you keep me up to date, I have no idea when I'll be able to see Fiona again." Drew said in a hushed tone, I nodded. "Of course, Drew." I agreed.

Drew nodded before walking away.

Now here I was again, holding more secrets.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"So I was thinking that after you come home from hanging out with KC, me and you can.." I didn't listen to Jenna ramble as we were hanging out against my locker, I had my eyes focused on Clare who was walking by, with her books against her chest tightly as she walked to English.

I saw as Jenna turned around and looked in my direction and she was basically filled with green envy.

"Ugh, why are you so obsessed with that girl? First you rescue her from a concussion and now you're staring at her! Why?" Jenna exclaimed.

I didn't even answer, Jenna. I was still watching Clare walk by, she was wearing her denim jacket over her floral shirt and she was wearing a flowery bow in her hair.

Goddammit she was so cute.

Soon I felt a sharp slap on my arm and I looked to see a angry Jenna in front of me.

"Eli!" Jenna exclaimed.

I shook my head and quickly said what I always said when I didn't listen to her.

"Yeah. Of course. See you and KC at lunch." without even thinking about it, I bent down and hoping that no one saw me kiss, Jenna on the lips before walking off in Clare's direction, but halfway there I felt a hand on my arm turn me around.

I found myself face to face with Darcy."Eli? Can we talk about what happened the other day?" Darcy asked, her eyes holding sympathy.

I paused before answering,

"Sure. Go and leave here before Principal Simpson catches you in here without a visitors pass." I quickly said. Darcy nodded."Yeah, but before you go. I wanted to ask you something." Darcy said. I sighed and looked back to see that Clare was already out of sight.

"Yeah, make it quick." I mumbled.

"Do you want to come back and stay with me and Clare again? Helen and I are worried you and Clare.. I think she's worried too."

* * *

Hey guys! (: Here's another chapter :D

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	14. Saving Lives

_**Warning: I don't even know anymore bro.**_

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"I don't know, Darce. With what's happening at your place, I'm not sure if I should stay there." I said slowly, looking at Darcy, who exhaled deeply.

"Well.. Will you at least consider it? I mean - if its that bad here with Clare around, I'll make her stay away." Darcy suggested. I shook my head.

"No. Its okay, Darce. I'm gonna be going home today anyway, but if I ever need a serious place to crash at, I'll come to your place." I said with a smile. "Probably only because Jenna is driving me crazy."

Darcy laughed softly at that,

"You know, one of these days, KC will find out about that and all hell will break loose and you'll possibly die. You do realize that right?" Darcy said with a small smile. I chuckled.

"Yeah, but I doubt me and Jenna's little affair will last that long anyway, she's driving me _crazy._" I said. Darcy smiled again.

'So.. Are we back to being friends again?" Darcy asked, her hand out stretched for a handshake. I smirked.

"Of course. Like brother and sister. And brothers and sisters don't handshake, they hug." I said.

Hearing the word hug, Darcy wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly, murmuring,

"I've always wanted a little brother, especially one as little and short as you." Darcy teased, grabbing my cheek and pinching it.

I squirmed from her grip and rolled my eyes.

"Nice short jokes, Darce. Real nice." I joked. Darcy laughed.

After telling her I'd see her at lunch most likely, I said bye to Darcy and walked into English.

I immediately took notice of Clare sitting in her seat, writing something down on paper. I couldn't help but smile as I looked at her.

I wasn't about to push away the thought of thinking she was cute.

But god dammit she is.

I took my seat in front of her and noticed that for once I was here on time for class, I turned around in my seat and stared at Clare.

I couldn't exactly make out what she was writing since her handwriting was a bunch of scribbles across the page.

"What part of "leave me alone" did you not understand? Especially since you said it." Clare said while writing. I scrunched my eyebrows up.

"Wow, I didn't know it was a crime to stare at people, Clare." I said sarcastically. Clare looked up at me and rolled her eyes.

"Actually it is. Its called stalking and being a creeper." Clare defined quickly for me before returning to her writing, I craned my neck to get a better look.

"Watcha' writing there, Clare?" I said in a sort of sing song voice, Clare groaned and looked up at me again, dropping her pencil on the paper.

"Two can play at that game. Since you don't want me in your business, don't be in mine, okay?" Clare asked. I scoffed."Fine by me, freak." I sneered at the freak part, Clare was a bit taken back from me calling her a freak since she was getting adapted to me calling her Clare, but gained her composure back and started writing again.

Ms. Dawes entered the room and I hadn't even realized that the bell had rung for the class to began.

"Okay class today- Mr. Goldsworthy? Will you please face the front of the class? I'd prefer if you would look at me rather than Ms. Edwards. I do realize that she's prettier than I ever will be, but that doesn't mean you can stare at her all period." Ms. Dawes teased with a smile.

I heard numerous snickers across the classroom and I sunk down in my seat, my cheeks bright red.

I was embarrassed as fuck.

Ugh, fuck you, Clare.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

"Oh god, it was so freaking hilarious, Clare. You should have been there, Bianca was slapped right across the face! Can you believe that?" Alli chortled.

I faked a laugh and a smile and pretended to know what Alli was saying and agreed with her.

Because to be honest, I had no clue what she was even saying, trying to keep up with Alli was a difficult task I had to deal with daily, she usually ran her mouth off to Fiona, but.. Fiona is still in the hospital, in her comatose state.

Suddenly, Alli stopped her rambling and groaned.

"Ugh, great. Look who's coming our way." Alli groaned. I turned around to see that Drew was coming towards us, looking nervous.

Drew approached us and attempted a nervous smile."Hey, Clare." Drew said lowly. I smiled.

"Hey Drew. What's up?" I asked casually.

"Uhm.. I was wondering if I could sit with you guys for lunch?" Drew asked nervously, fumbling with his hands.

I looked back at Alli, who gave me a "don't do it" look. I shrugged and looked at Drew, patting the chair next to me.

"Sure, Drew. Have a seat." I offered. Drew smiled slightly and it seemed genuine.

I then noticed that he didn't have a lunch with him.

"Why don't you have a lunch? Do you want some of mine?" I offered, showing him my half eaten sandwich, before Drew could answer, Alli scoffed."I'm sure he doesn't need your food, Clare. I'm sure his stomach is satisfied by the _munchies _he probably got, probably ate a _whole bag _of chips. You know how stoners are." Alli sneered. I gasped and scowled at Alli.

"Alli!" I hissed. "Be nice!"

Alli just merely shrugged at me before returning to eating her salad.

I looked at Drew and gave him a sympathetic look.

"I'm so sorry, Drew. Alli can be.. You know." I said loudly, hoping Alli would hear.

Drew sighed and shrugged, standing up."Its okay, Clare. I'll just see you around. Bye." Drew said before grabbing his backpack and exiting the cafeteria, I turned around to face, Alli.

"You know, you could have been nicer, the guy finally interacts and _that's _how you treat him?" I spat. Alli sighed, putting her fork down.

"You don't know him like I do, Clare. You don't know the kind of crap that he does." Alli said, I rolled my eyes.

"Well, for one thing, he's got a better personality than his best friend over there." I said, pointing my sandwich over at Eli's table where he was sitting quietly next to was definitely off about him.

And that did worry me.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

Home.

What is home?

For most people it's a place to live with loved ones.

For others, like Clare, it's a shelter until you're eighteen.

For me, it's a living nightmare.

I dreaded having to go home after school today, but I had too, it had to happen. I couldn't avoid, Bullfrog forever.

Eventually he'd find me and when he ever does, it'll be worse than what I'll get at home.

"Eli?" Jenna asked quietly. I blinked out of my daze to realize that Jenna was looking at me, I could feel her hand on mine under the table.

"I was wondering that when you come home after school today we can.." Jenna began, but I shook my head.

"I'm going home, Jenna." I said.

Immediately Jenna's face fell,

"What do you mean? You can't stay at my place longer?" Jenna asked desperately in a hushed voice.

"I have to go home, Jenna. I've been gone from there for two weeks. I can't stay away any longer. I'll get in trouble." I said. Jenna rolled her eyes."Fine.. But can you promise me that you'll at least come over a lot? You know I don't wanna be alone." Jenna asked softly, her blue eyes wide with hope. I sighed."Yeah, I promise, Jenna." I said.

Jenna's blue eye's lit up and she giggled.

"Thanks Eli! That makes me so happy!" Jenna exclaimed.

"What makes you so happy?" KC asked, I leaned over to see that KC had taken a seat next to Jenna and slid his arm around her shoulders, before I could come up with a quick lie, Jenna covered me."Eli told me that he'd do my math homework for me, if I find him a date for next month's dance." Jenna lied smoothly. KC chortled.

"Eli? A date? That's funny, babe. Everyone knows that Eli doesn't want a serious relationship, everyone knows that he likes to be a bachelor." KC teased.

Many others at the table laughed too, I joined in as well.

Although, what they didn't know and _never will _is that I actually want a stable relationship.

Like what I had with Julia.

Before that was taken from me.

Like everything else in my life.

After school, I took the long way home, I wanted to collect my thoughts, think over what I would say to Bullfrog.

No doubt he'd be pissed beyond belief, but maybe I could sit him down and we can talk, like actually talk about the beatings and we could have an understanding relationship.

I only hoped for that and I knew that would never happen.

But I could only hope.

I reached the front door and took a deep breath before turning the knob and entering the house.

The house was dead silent, I heard nothing besides the slight buzz from the television which was on mute.

I carefully climbed the stairs to my room and threw my bag in the corner of my room. I noticed that my room was the same it looked before I left, besides a white paper on my desk. I grabbed the paper and started to read Cece's messy handwriting,

_Dear baby boy,_

_By the time you read this, I'll already be gone from home. I'm so sorry that you had to come back here to find me gone, I know that I said we'd always go somewhere together, far away from your father, but I lied._

_Honey, I had to leave, I couldn't stand it anymore. Last night, your father forced me to have sex with him, he __**raped **__me baby boy. I couldn't stay here anymore._

_But please remember that one day, we'll meet up again and I'll take you with me everywhere. _

_You're my only son, my only child and I love you more than anything in this whole world, I love _**you **_not the imposter you who is a drunk and has affairs with other people's girlfriends, yes, I know about Jenna, you and Drew never do talk quietly anymore._

_Babyboy, I love you. Please remember that._

_I'll always love you and now I have to dash before your father comes home even more drunk._

_Goodbye sweetheart._

_Love always, Ce- Mom. _

So Bullfrog was telling the truth there, Cece did leave me-us.

I noticed how she was gonna write Cece, but wrote mom instead, like that would make everything magically better.

I feel nothing from this letter, no sadness, no anger, nothing.

I _knew _this would eventually happen, Cece leaving us for something better than a abusive husband and a fucked up son.

I couldn't blame her for leaving though, if I were in her shoes too, I would leave.

"So you got a stupid letter from your mother?" Bullfrog sneered, I quickly spun around to find myself face to face with my father, who was scowling at the letter in my hand.

"The stupid whore left me nothing, nothing at all. The bitch." Bullfrog spat, I wanted to badly nail him in the face for talking shit about Cece, but decided against it.

It would only get me in more trouble.

"So, where have you been?" Bullfrog asked with a firm voice. I shrugged and grabbed my bag, and opened my drawers, pulling clothes out and putting more in my bag.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bullfrog asked, his voice angry. I looked at him.

"Away from you." I sneered before returning back to the bag and shoving more clothes inside.

"If you think you'll be going back to that Christian family than you have another thing coming, you little asshole. You're not going **anywhere.**" Bullfrog roared. I scoffed.

"Yeah. Like that will happen. Just fuck off, Bullfrog." I sneered, this is the worst I have ever said to my own father.

Then he did the worst to me.

Picked up a baseball bat from my closet and slammed it hard into my chest, knocking me down.

I screamed out in pain, my broken ribs hurting badly.

Although Bullfrog didn't stop there, he started hitting me harder with the bat. Slamming my stomach.

Slamming my back.

Slamming my head.

He even kicked my stomach a few times.

Then I felt glass cut into my face when I realized that he threw a glass cup on my face.

"YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF SHIT. THIS ALL ENDS TONIGHT. ALL OF IT." Bullfrog screamed.

Then he came forward to end my life.

I didn't even care.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I reached around in my backpack, feeling for a Ziploc bag filled with weed that I had bought after I left Alli and Clare at the cafeteria, but I couldn't find it.

"_Drew? DREW? Dude, listen to me. __**Look at me!**__" _The Adam Voice screeched. I lifted my head up quickly and scanned the room, suddenly I saw him.

Adam.

He was right there in front of me, in his usual plaid shirt, blue jeans, black converse and beanie that he always wore.

"A-Adam?" I whispered.

"Adam" looked at me desperately.

"_Don't go thinking I'm alive or anything dummy. I'm still dead." _Adam clarified with a smart tone.

"Oh." I sighed, my hope of him actually being alive falling.

"_But Eli might join me in this death." _Adam whispered. I scrunched my eyebrows together.

"What.. What do you mean? Is he going to die?" I asked quickly.

"_Drew. You and Clare are the only ones who know about Eli's abuse, you need to contact her right now, Eli's hurt badly right now. He's close to death, I could feel it when I was watching over him." _Adam told me in a strained tone. I gasped.

"Clare knows?" I exclaimed.

"_She knows everything man. Eli's a total truth nerd when he's drunk. But please call Clare and let her know about Eli, she'll find a way to help him out." _Adam begged. I shook my head.

"I don't have her number, A.. Adam." I stammered. Adam rolled his eyes and groaned.

"_Well then call, Darcy. She's the closest thing to Clare." _Adam informed me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Darcy? Why Darcy? I highly doubt she'll answer.." I trailed off. Adam groaned._"We don't have enough time! Just call her, Drew. Do the right thing. Save Eli. Save him for __**me. **__I don't wanna see him dead, as much as I'd love to have him here with me, its not his time. Not yet. Just please, Drew. Drew, please." _Adam begged, tears rimming his ghostly like eyes.

I sighed, forgetting about the Darcy and Clare connection and I pulled my phone out, searching for Darcy's name in my phone, hoping I still have her number…

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

"Well, isn't this nice? A nice happy family dinner." Helen said with a smile as me, Helen and Darcy sat at the dinner table together.

We ate in silence, not speaking a word to each other, when suddenly, Darcy's phone starting blaring some Ke$ha song, Darcy looked confused as she pulled the phone out.

"Why would Drew call me? He never calls." Darcy said confused.

"Darcy, please don't answer. This is a family dinner. We don't talk on phones during dinner." Helen asked Darcy, but Darcy didn't listen, she answered and more confusion was on her face. "Woah woah woah. Slow down, Drew. Okay, what? Eli's gonna die, **what?**" Darcy exclaimed, her face confused.

I quickly shot up from my chair and Darcy followed suit.

"Okay, I'll be there soon, Drew. Just meet me there." Darcy said quickly, she then hung up her phone and I stood in front of her.

"Wherever you're going, I'm going too." I said sternly, Darcy raised an eyebrow."Why would you be-" Darcy was quickly cut off by Helen who was by our side.

"Whatever it is, I'm coming too." Helen intervened.

Despite that soon Eli's secret about his father's abuse was about to be revealed, my heart was racing, I cared more about his life than that stupid secret.

I just wanted him safe and alive.

That's all I want.

Darcy and I practically ran up the steps to Eli's home, Drew was already by the door, pacing around, waiting for us.

"Where is he?" I exclaimed to Drew. Drew shrugged."I-I think in his room. I'm not too sure." Drew stammered, I threw the door open and raced up the stairs, with Darcy on my heels, I looked back down to see that Helen was hugging Drew tightly and asking him what had happened and that he needed to tell her.

Truth will be out tonight.

I reached out to the closest door and threw it open, only to find splatter of blood on the carpet and on the walls, I looked down to see Eli laying on the ground, bloodier than Fiona had been a couple days ago.

I rushed forward towards him, while Darcy screamed.

"Oh my fucking God! Who did this?" Darcy exclaimed, I looked back at her and sighed."His dad, Darcy! His dad has been hurting him- abusing him!" I finally confessed to Darcy, first Darcy was in shock, but seconds later she was beyond furious."I'm gonna find that fucker. Stay with Eli, Clare!" Darcy shouted before rushing from the room.

I bent down towards Eli and gently placed his head in my lap, I started to wipe the blood from his face and brush his bloody hair back.

"Its gonna be okay, Eli. Okay? You're gonna be fine. I won't let you die." I whispered and bent forward to kiss his forehead, I felt tears rush down my face and splatter on his as I bent forward.

I couldn't believe that I was crying over Eli Goldsworthy possibly dying, but yet I could.

Seeing him like this has made me realize that, I _did _have true feelings toward this guy as much as I always liked to ignore or deny them.

I always promised myself never to fall head over heels for a guy, but here I was.

Head over heels for a guy close to death.

Minutes later, I watched as the paramedics put Eli onto a gurney and load him into the ambulance, Drew had also called the police before we got there. The police had searched the house, as did Darcy to find that Eli's father had escaped once he saw Drew walk onto the property.

"So many things might have gone differently if you had told someone, Clare." Helen scolded me. I sighed deeply and wiped the tears from my face.

"I know. I'm sorry." I whispered.

I felt arms embrace me and I thought it was Helen, but as I opened my eyes I saw that Darcy was hugging me closely.

And I didn't pull away.

I didn't wanna pull away from protection and possible love.

Because it can always leave.

And I don't want it too.

* * *

Thank you guys for the awesome reviews! If you could do the same for this chapter, I'd be SO HAPPY! (:


	15. Not The Time To Go

_**Warning: too much crying bro**_

* * *

_Darcy's Point of View:_

I watched over Clare's head as the paramedics loaded Eli up into the ambulance, I heard Clare murmur,

"Is is alright if I go with him?"

I pulled away from Clare, placing my hands on her shoulders.

"Don't you think that, Drew should go, Clare?" I said, nodding over at Drew who stood nervously next to Helen.

"Oh.. Uhm.. I don't know if that's a go-good idea, Darcy. Uhm, Clare could go. I'm okay with that, Eli's gonna need her more than me." Drew stammered, I looked down at Clare, who's cheeks were blushing from Drew's comment and I sighed.

"Just go, Drew. You're Eli's best friend no matter what, he'll need you too." I insisted. Drew nodded and walked towards the ambulance, but paused and looked at Clare."Clare? Can you come with me too? I don't wanna be alone there with him." Drew asked in a small voice.

A soft smile spread across Clare's face, she nodded feverishly. "Yeah, of course, Drew." Clare agreed, then both of them hurried onto the ambulance, taking seats by Eli's gurney and then the doors shut, the ambulance speeding off.

I soon felt, Helen's hand on my shoulder, I looked up at her."Do you wanna meet them at the hospital? See if Eli's okay?" Helen asked. I shook my head."Is it wrong if I'm not exactly ready to see him, Mom?" I asked. Helen pursed her lips and shook her head."Not at all, sweetheart. Just tell me when you are ready. I'll drive us down there." Helen promised, she then did something I would never expect and that was pulling me into a tight motherly hug.

"Thank you for comforting, Clare, Darce. She needed that. We all know what it feels like to almost lose a person you care a ton for. Clare needed that comfort. So thank you." Helen murmured into my ear. I sighed and nodded, feeling the tears run down my face."You're welcome, mom. You are so welcome." I whispered, hugging her back even tighter, not wanting to let go a motherly hug I was always deprived of.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

The ride to the hospital was crazy, so much blood the paramedics were trying to stop and clean.

The doctor gibberish was giving me a headache, but I noticed the whole time that Clare didn't complain nor cry, she just held onto Eli's hand the whole time they were working on him on the way there, her blue eyes fixated on his bruised and bloody face.

So _that _was what love or very deep like looked like, I thought to myself.

Once we arrived to the hospital, the paramedics quickly took Eli out and me and Clare followed them on their heels.

Clare wasn't as quick enough to keep up next to Eli like I was able too, I looked down at Eli to see that his eyes were opened a bit and he whispered,

"Drew? What.. What are you doing here?" I smirked.

"I'm here to make sure my best friend is okay." I said, Eli weakly smiled.

"I'm so sorry, bro." Eli whispered, but before I could even respond to him the nurses signaled me to stop at a certain point and Clare caught up to me as we watched them push Eli into the very back of hospital where most likely they'll be trying everything to save him.

"Come on, Drew. Lets go into the waiting room." Clare murmured, I nodded and felt her slip her arm through mine as she guided me through the hospital.

We reached the waiting room to only find Alli there with Fiona's mom, Cassandra.

Alli looked at us both and had a confused look on her face,

"Guys? Why are you here? Clare did you get my text about, Fiona?" Alli said, I looked at Clare to see that Clare was shaking her head."No, Alli. We're actually here beca-" Clare was soon cut off from Cassandra's frantic cries.

Alli quickly rushed to her side, as did Clare and myself. ""Ms. Coyne? What happened? Is Fiona gonna be okay?" Alli asked in a hushed voice. Cassandra shook her head."No.. They-They told me that she's not doing so well. That she's been shaking and having seizures since last night, they aren't sure if she'll make it." Cassandra stammered. I froze, as did Clare.

Alli rubbed Cassandra's arm,

"Oh Ms. Coyne. I'm sure, Fiona will make it out of this. I'm sure of it. She's a strong girl." Alli reassured Cassandra, but Cassandra shook her head."I don't think so, Alli. She hit her head so hard against that trophy case during that earthquake, it knocked her into a coma for a couple days and now that shes in and out of consciousness having seizures, I'm not too sure she'll make it. My own baby won't make it." Cassandra wept.

At that moment, not even Alli knew what to do, she gently set Ms. Coyne down on of the chairs and approached us. "Guys. Why are you here if you didn't get my text about, Fi?" Alli asked in a hush voice. Clare sighed."We're here because of Eli, Alli. He's hurt badly." Clare whispered. Alli's eyes widened.

"What? How? What happened?" Alli asked quickly.

"He was beaten with a bat, Alli." Clare said through a strained voice, I knew she was only on the verge of tears at that point.

"Oh my God." Alli whispered, clear shock written on her brown face.

Suddenly a louder cry came from Cassandra as we saw a doctor talking to her again, we all approached them quickly."What happened? Is Fiona gonna be okay?" Clare asked quickly. The doctor shook his head."I'm afraid not, Ms. Coyne is not gonna be able to make it through the night. She only has hours left before she passes away. We tried to do everything that we could." The doctor paused. "We are so sorry for this loss that will happen."

I heard Alli force out a harsh laugh.

"This is some kind of sick joke right?" Alli pauses to see that everyone else was serious. "Right?" Alli said again, more firmly.

Those words brought back a memory, a flashback to mind, and soon I was sucked into it.

_I raced through the hospital halls with Eli on my trail, we weaved in and out through doctors, nurses, patients until we finally reached the waiting room to see my mother, my father and Fiona sitting there quietly with a doctor. _

"_Where is he? Is he okay? Where's Adam?" I asked breathlessly. The doctor turned around and gave a sad look."I'm sorry, but your brother is dead. The pills he took killed him slowly and by the time he got here, it was too late. He didn't make it." The doctor said gravely._

_It seemed like the world stopped. _

_I looked at Eli to see that Eli had no expression on his face whatsoever. It was a blank stare. _

"_This has to be some sort of sick joke right? Adam would never commit suicide! That isn't like him!" I shouted, not wanting to believe any of this. The doctor sighed._

"_I'm sorry for your loss." And with that the doctor walked away, my mother was in tears, leaning onto Dad's shoulder for comfort and Fiona was taking deep breaths, her eyes starting to water, then she ran out of the room suddenly._

"_This.. This didn't-It couldn't of.." I trailed off and soon felt Eli's arms around me, hugging me close and I started to cry._

_And he started to cry._

_Started to cry because of the lost of the closest person to us. _

_The crying fest had started a friendship between us, a damn good friendship._

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing else we can do for Ms. Coyne. She has only hours left." The doctor said sympathetically.

I grabbed onto the doctor's clothes and pulled him towards me.

"THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING YOU CAN DO! ANYTHING! PLEASE DO ANYTHING FOR HER!" I cried out.

I felt Clare try to pull me back, her cries a whisper,"Just let him go, Drew. Its no use. Let go of him." Clare whispered, tears silently streaming down her face.

I let go of the doctor and felt tears run down my face, hot and heavy.

"I can't lose her. Please. I just can't." I whimpered. I felt Clare embrace me tightly and soon another pair of arms that I was familiar with, Alli's.

Soon Clare let go of me and I opened my eyes to see that she went off to hug Cassandra, giving her an even tighter hug, despite that she didn't even know the woman.

Alli pulled away from me and started wiping my tears away with her thumb.

"Go and see her." Alli whispered. I shook my head."I can't, Alli. My last memory of her can't be her dying. I can't have that memory." I argued. Alli shook her head at me."She can't leave without knowing that you love her, Drew. Go and tell her before she leaves forever." Alli murmured.

Minutes later, I pushed open the door to Fiona's room and saw her laying on her cot, many wires hooked up into her.

She looked so fragile, so frail, like she was about to die any second.

All I could hear were beeps, beeps that meant that she was alive, that she was still breathing.

She was there.

I sat down next to her and took in her features, her white lips that no longer had color in them, as did her pale face.

I could easily see her veins as well, she was losing weight rapidly.

I allowed my hand to start to stroke her long curly hair, careful not to let my hand get tangled in there.

"What are you doing here?" Fiona barely whispered, I looked down and saw that her eyes were open and she was barely breathing at this point.

I bit my lip nervously."I came here to apologize." I said nervously. Fiona let out a long sigh.

"I don't want your damn apology." Fiona whispered. I nodded."I understand that. I understand that you hate me and probably never wanna see me, especially now. I've treated you like shit, Fiona. I regret that so much, I regret a bunch that I've done in my sixteen years of life." I paused and sighed. "But one was never having hooked up with you and falling in love with you." I confessed. "I'm so scared that any moment now I'm gonna lose you, Fiona. That scares me so damn bad." I admitted.

"You don't think I'm scared? I'm afraid to fall asleep because I always think I'll never wake up!" Fiona whispered loudly before breaking out into tears. I blinked a couple times to keep the tears back."Please don't say that, Fi. Please don't." I pleaded with her. Fiona shook her head and looked up at me with sad eyes.

I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning into kiss her.

Fiona did the same and I felt her weak lips kiss me back.

It felt so right.. Yet so wrong.

In a couple minutes this would be taken away from me.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I sat huddled together with Cassandra and Alli, when I suddenly noticed Eli's doctor approach us.

"Please no more bad news." I whispered to myself as I stood up and the doctor approached us.

"Are you here for Elijah Daniel Goldsworthy?" The doctor asked, I nodded, ignoring the fact that I had found out Eli's middle name.

"Yes. Is he okay?" I asked worriedly.

"He may end up paralyzed from the waist down, but with some therapy he should be able to walk again." The doctor confirmed. I tried my best to hold back some tears that wanted to fall so badly.

"Paralyzed?" I whispered. The doctor nodded.

"We could perform surgery on him, but the kid isn't strong enough to make that surgery." The doctor said.

I nodded."Oh… okay. Thank you doctor." I whispered and the doctor smiled slightly before walking away, I sat down and ignored Alli and Cassandra.

I was in my own world.

A world where I couldn't stop crying or I couldn't even sleep.

It was gonna be a long restless night for me.

The following morning, I awoke to footsteps approaching, I opened my eyes quickly and looked to see that Drew was approaching us.

"Drew?" I asked, a bit of hope in my voice. Drew shook his head."She's gone." Drew whispered.

I heard Alli's cries beside me.

"No.. She just can't be. She can't be dead." Alli sobbed, Drew pulled her into his arms and started to comfort her, he looked over her shoulder and nodded off to Fiona's room."If you.. You know. Wanna see her body one last time, you can. They haven't taken her to the morgue yet." Drew murmured. I nodded and stood up, walking down the hall towards Fiona's room.

I took a deep breath before opening the door to her room, there a long white sheet covering Fiona's body.

The body wasn't rising with air, no breathing.

No nothing.

She _was _gone.

I walked along the white sheet until I reached where Fiona's face would be.

"Why did you have to die so soon? I was getting to know you better, I was looking forward to all the hangouts, the sleepovers.." I trailed off, I was looking down nervously.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked Fiona's body.

I rolled my eyes, of course she wouldn't answer me.

"I.. I wish I was in your position. I know that's wrong to say, but.. I would give _anything _to be in a better place than Earth. I would give anything to be in a place where I feel happy and everyone excepts me. I'd give _**anything." **_I confessed. "And.. And I wanna see my parents again too, even if I am so mad at them. But I'm not mad at you for saying you'd be there for me, Fi.. You were a really good friend to me." I sobbed. "I'm just so angry that God took you too early. This wasn't your time, Fi. But.. I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss you so much, Fi." I wept, I didn't even bother wiping the tears from my eyes as I looked down at Fiona's body. "You know.. You can be Drew's guardian angel, I believe in those and he really needs one, Fiona. You should be his. I'd love that. He would too." I whispered with a smile.

I heard a knock at the door and I quickly wiped my tears away."Come in!" I said. The door opened and Drew walked in."Clare, Eli's been asking for you since he's woken up." Drew said. I smiled a bit and nodded,"Alright, I'll be there soon." I said, Drew nodded and took one last glance at Fiona's body before leaving the room.

I sighed and looked back at Fiona's body, I placed a hand on her arm.

"I hope you rest in peace, Fiona. You deserve that. I'll _never _forget you, Fi. Never." I promised, I squeezed her arm before exiting the room.

After a few minutes, I entered Eli's room and saw that he was lying asleep on the cot, his face cut up and some bruises on his arms. I sighed and took a seat next to him, I laid my head down on the edge of the cot and started crying again, because of Fiona's death, Eli's abuse, Drew and Alli's pain.

This was all too much for the people I cared about.

Suddenly I felt a weak squeeze on my hand and I quickly sat up to see it was Eli who was holding my hand.

"You're awake." I breathed. Eli nodded and let go of my hand.

"Drew told me about, Fiona.. I'm sorry." Eli apologized softly, I nodded."Thanks.. So how are you feeling?" I asked nervously.

"Just the most bitching pain in my waist and some cuts and bruises here and there, those never hurt me." Eli said. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Did Drew.. Did Drew tell you about what's gonna happen with you?" I asked slowly. Eli smirked.

"Let me guess. I'll have some broken ribs, some cuts and bruises, some headaches and that bitching pain in my waist for a few days, right?" Eli asked, the playful smirk still on his face.

I looked down, deciding whether or not if I should tell him."That's not it?" Eli asked confused. I sighed deeply.

"Eli.. You were left paralyzed from the waist down." I paused when I saw his eyes widen. "But with some therapy you should be okay." I quickly said.

I looked to see that Eli was trying to keep tears back."Paralyzed?" Eli whispered, looking down at his legs which were covered by a thick blanket.

"It could have been much worse." I said. Eli shook his head."I won't be the same, Clare! I can't walk!" Eli exclaimed. I sighed and closed my eyes."You'll still be the same, Eli. -Don't cry, please." I pleaded once I saw the tears rushing down his cheeks.

"No! It won't be the same! I'll be in a fucking wheelchair! I'll be some freak! Everybody's gonna hate me.. Dad's.. Dad's gonna hate me more than he already does.. He'll.. He'll kill me." Eli whimpered.

I placed a hand on Eli's shoulder."Eli? Don't you remember? Your dad is gone. The police are out looking for him." I reminded him.

Eli looked up at me in despair.

"They know about him? About what he does to me?" Eli exclaimed. I nodded."They know everything, Eli. They're gonna find him and send him to prison for what he did to you." I said.

Eli quickly grasped my hand and held it tightly, tears streaming down his face.

"Please don't let them take him away. They can't take him away from me!" Eli cried out in despair.

His emerald eyes pouring out sadness, his voice making it harder to not cry itself.

I'd never seen him this upset, especially over his father.

* * *

Please please PLEASE review a lot! (:

+ Sorry for killing off, Fiona. :/ fjdsgjdfk It was her time to go.


	16. Through The Veins

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Are you seriously trying to tell me that you'd rather have your father, your** abusive **father back in your life, so you won't feel.. Alone?" Clare asked, her arms crossed across her chest, her stance defensive.

I sighed and nodded, I could feel my hands start to shake and quiver.

"Clare.. He's all I got left." I whispered. I couldn't believe that I was letting my guard down around her _again_. I'm not suppose to do this, to let people see inside my mind and feel what I'm not.. Normal.

Clare sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of my cot, I felt her grab my hand and hold it tightly, it was awkward though, since her hands were small and soft, and I had lanky and long hands.

Not the most picture perfect hand holding moment there, but it felt _amazing. _

"Eli. You have a lot of people who love and care about you, don't say that you don't when you obviously do. Drew's here for you, Darcy's here for you.. I'm here for you." Clare whispered. I looked up to see that she was looking directly at me the whole time, her blue eyes saying so much.

She truly meant that she'd be there for me.

So in return, I squeezed her hand back weakly, I was lacking strength at the moment.

"Clare.. I appreciate that. I really do. But.. He's my _dad. _You wouldn't understand-"

"Why?" Clare exclaimed before I could finish my sentence. I felt her let go of my hand. "Is it because I am lacking a father right now? Because I have no father or mother? Because I'm an _orphan?_" Clare spat, the way she said orphan was in the most disgusted tone I had ever heard her utter.

I widened my eyes in shock and quickly defended myself.

"Woah, Clare. I never said that, alright? I was going to say is that you don't understand it because he is my father. Whether or not he beats me mercilessly and sends me to the hospital with broken bones and concussions, I'm still here. I've taken the worst of his beatings, I'm alive and well." I explained to Clare. Clare scoffed.

"Ugh! You're barely alive, Eli! _Barely! _Look at you right now! On a hospital cot, with so many wires hooked into you to keep your heart beating! You're **paralyzed **Eli! I don't know if you grasp that, but your dad did that to you whether or not you wanna believe it or not, he did this to you! You can't just let him get away with it!" Clare exclaimed, her face scrunched up in anger.

I rolled my eyes and looked away from Clare and focused my attention on a ugly painted wall."Yes I do realize that, Clare. I can't fucking move my legs, I can't fucking feel them. So of course, I realize that I'm paralyzed! I'm not stupid or dumb either, I.. I just can't lose him.. I've already lost my mom and Adam. I can't lose him too. I'll have no one, Clare. You do not understand or get it!" I exclaimed, feeling my throat burn as I did so.

Clare heaved herself off the cot and scoffed in my direction.

"You know, just when someone starts to pity you, you always find a way to undo that, huh?" Clare asked in a harsh tone.

Before I could even answer, Clare, Jenna burst into the room."Oh, Eli! Are you okay?" Jenna exclaimed as she came towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck and hugging me close and roughly, I winced at the pain, but she didn't seem to notice.

Clare stepped forward in a way to possibly pry Jenna from hurting me any further, but Jenna shot her a snotty look behind her shoulder, before hugging me tighter. Clare put her hands up in defense and rolled her eyes."I'm out of here." Clare muttered, before turning for the door. I weakly reached a hand out towards her, I didn't want her to if she left and left me with _Jenna. _

I watched as Clare left the room and slam the door behind herself. I could still feel Jenna hugging me tightly and I sighed."You can stop, Jenna. Shows over." I muttered. Jenna dropped her arms and shrugged."Guess so." Jenna then pulled her phone out and began texting someone. I sighed."Why are you even here, Jenna? There is no reason to be here. KC would be _pissed _if he knew that you were here." I breathed and Jenna smiled softly.

"Oh silly. I don't need to worry about what KC thinks anymore." Jenna said softly. I blinked a couple times at her words.

"What.. I don't understand, Jenna. Of course you would care, you have too. **We **have too, or KC would eventually find out about us." I whispered as if someone could hear us in this closed room. Jenna just merely laughed while texting, she slid her phone back into her pocket and faced me.

"Oh, Eli. We don't have to worry about what KC thinks anymore." Jenna repeated. I sighed.

"Why Jenna? Please explain to me why?" I said through clenched teeth. Jenna merely shrugged.

"Because we broke up. He knows everything now." Jenna confessed.

I didn't think my heart rate could speed up that quickly until I heard Jenna say that.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees as I looked down at my shoes. I sighed and looked up at everything around me in this park. I could hear children's laughter a few feet away and scolding parents yelling at them. I could hear everything.

I wondered if they even noticed me.

"I can't believe she's actually gone." I whispered into the earth. I big gust of wind blew past and I looked up to see Adam in front of me, his eyes holding sadness.

"I'm sorry, Drew, but before you ask, I haven't seen her around. You know.. In ghost form anyway." Adam told me and I cursed. "She was a fucking saint. So perfect, she did nothing wrong. She should be a guardian angel like you, Adam. You both were so nice and innocent." I muttered. Adam chuckled.

"Innocent? Me and Fiona, _innocent? _Do you even wanna know what me and her had done together while we were alive? We are far from innocent, Drew. I'm surprised the big guy in the sky allowed me into Heaven after all, I figured I'd spend eternity in hell with the red man." Adam admitted, I rolled my eyes.

"Please.. Don't say stuff about Fi so.. Casually." I pleaded. Adam sighed."Sorry, bro. I didn't mean you make you even more upset, I just find getting happier over sad things makes everything easier." Adam said and I shook my head.

"Well not for me okay?" I said.

Silence danced between us while children continued to laugh and parents continued to scold when a idea struck to me."Adam? Since you're a guardian angel and whatnot, can't you bring Fiona back?" I asked hopeful and Adam shook his head sadly.

"Drew. I'm a guardian angel. That's it. I don't have the powers God does. I can't send Fiona back to Earth and I highly doubt God can either, Fi's probably in purgatory right now." Adam said and I groaned.

"Well, this is just fucking great." I moaned. "Things will get better, Drew. I promise you. This .. This is just a minor set back, bro. Things get better." Adam said. I scoffed."Yeah, as if! My life is a pain in my ass, Adam. You and Fiona are dead, I'm feeling shit for Alli again even though the girl I love just died, Eli's in the hospital and is _paralyzed _and-" I was soon cut off by Adam's stammers.

"E-Eli's para-paralyzed?" Adam stammered, his face showing hurt.

I sighed, realizing he didn't even know.

"Yeah.. His dad.. It went too far. He's paralyzed, but he could walk again if therapy helps. I thought you knew this already since you stalk everyone at Degrassi?" I spat. Adam shook his head glumly.

"I've been too busy searching for Fiona's ghost, I went to France, Paris, anywhere in Europe, New York, Los Angeles. I found nothing. So I figured she was in purgatory still. Horrible wait that place is. Nerves are whack and its scary, bro." Adam whispered, a shiver going through the air.

I shook my head and looked back down at the ground.

"I'm just so.. So fucking depressed. I hate this. Why did you guys have to leave? Why not me?" I whispered. Adam whimpered.

"No.. Drew don't-" I threw my hands up in the air to silence him."No, Adam. _Listen to me. _I never wanted EITHER of you to leave this shitty planet. You are my fucking brother and you KILLED YOURSELF, you could have lived! We could have gotten you help, Adam! Fiona.. It was a natural disaster, a horrible one, but she could have been saved sooner if I wasn't too numb to dial 911." I whispered. Adam sighed.

"Drew. Don't say that, please. It was our time to go. Even if you don't believe it. I wasn't meant to see sixteen years of life, Fiona wasn't meant to see that diploma. We weren't meant for that long of life. But we did impact a lot of lives, which is good enough." Adam explained hushed. I rolled my eyes and pulled out my bag of green, quickly rolling up one, Adam scoffed."Are you seriously going to get high in a _children's park_?" Adam asked disapprovingly. I shrugged and smoked the blunt.

"So what? Many people smoke blunts, I don't see why you freak out over it so much. Its fucking nothing." I commented before puffing more of the blunt.

"Are you planning a early funeral then, Drew? Because that's what drugs are doing to you. Planning a early death. Before I'll know it _you'll _be the one in purgatory with Fiona. Great." Adam spat. I stood up and shook my head.

"Just stay the fuck out, Adam. Okay? I don't need my head fucked anymore by this shit. Its just.. Ugh. Leave me alone. Alright?"

And with that I walked away from Adam, blunt still in my hand, when I reached up to place it between my lips, a huge gust of wind came by and knocked the blunt from my hand, putting it out on the grass, I groaned.

"Fucking Adam."

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Woah, Eli. Don't have a heart attack." Jenna joked as she saw my heart monitor. I took deep breaths and slowed my heart pace back down before a nurse runs in and thinks I'm dying.

"Why does KC know everything, Jenna?" I whispered looking at her. Jenna smiled.

"Oh Eli. Eventually he was gonna find out and eventually me and him would break up and me and you would be together, **for good.**" Jenna murmured, grabbing my hand and rubbing my hand with her thumb. I pulled my hand away from Jenna's.

"Jenna.. He's gonna kill me. You shouldn't have told him, he'll probably boot us from the group too." I groaned, rubbing my eyes wearily. Jenna scoffed.

"As if. We are always in the group." Jenna said. I looked at her as if she was crazy."Jenna. KC runs that group. He can easily have Chantay kick you off Spirit Squad and hell, its easy to turn me away, I'll go back to lonely lunches in Morty again." I moaned. Jenna shrugged.

"He won't do that. When I broke up with him, he was casual about it all, when he asked why, I told him that I was in love with you and I wanted to be with you, all KC said was 'Oh. Okay.' so KC is totally cool with it. He'll probably start dating Marisol or some other girl in our group, like that freshman Jess or whatever. He doesn't need to date me, so now," Jenna reached over to grab my hand again and caress it. "We can be together." Jenna murmured lovingly. I turned away and pulled my hand away.

"Just go, Jenna. I'm tired and I wanna sleep." I lied smoothly. Jenna sighed.

"Alright then. Whatever, I have a nail appointment with Marisol and the girls anyway." Jenna said as she headed for the door, but she turned around and looked at me.

"But before I go.. Why was that _freaky loser _in here with you?" Jenna sneered. I silently clenched my fists at my side as Jenna called Clare that."She has a name, its _Clare." _I said a matter-o-factly manner. "And she was here because her friend, Fiona died." I said softly. Jenna's eyes widened.

"That other loner _died? _Holy crap. I bet Alli's depressed, I should post something sympathetic on her Facerange wall, make it seem like I care. Anyway, bye handsome, I'll also be changing my relationship status from 'single' to 'in a relationship with **Eli Goldsworthy**' so everyone can know." Jenna informed me. I put on a fake smile.

"Greeeat, Jenna. I'll be sure to see it later." I said. Jenna nodded happily before leaving the room.

Now that I was completely alone with the silence I started to sort out my thoughts piece by piece.

Starting with the fact that I was now dating Jenna when I had never even asked her to be my girlfriend.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

I softly shut, Fiona's locker as I had finished cleaning it out. Putting all her papers in a folder and all her valuables like her mirrors or makeup in a box that I'd be giving to Cassandra after school today.

As I was placing items in the box, I came across a picture of Fiona and I in New York, we had found a photo booth and just took silly pictures from sheer boredom at her New York styled parties, I thought she had gotten rid of this ages ago, but she didn't. It was inside her locker the whole time.

I grazed my fingers over the photo and felt tears well up in my eyes as much as I tried to resist the tears.

I heard footsteps stop from a few feet away from me and I looked up to see that a wobbly and dazed Drew stood in front of me, obviously high as a kite. But he didn't snicker or laugh, he just stared at me with his red eyes.

I wondered If he could tell I had been crying this morning, or that I hadn't gotten enough sleep.

I wondered if he saw the sadness in my eyes being echoed from his back to mine.

I wondered if he could.

I suddenly heard books clang against the floor and I looked down to see that I dropped the books, My emotions came against me like a hurricane and I started bursting out into sobbing, dropping to the floor and leaning against the lockers as I cried.

I didn't hear any stopping footsteps or feel any hugs from any of the students walking around me.

They didn't care, they didn't care that Fiona was dead or that I was upset, Fiona was a loner, a nobody to them.

No special memorial at the school, no announcing it on the announcements.

People are walking around like nothing happened, when EVERYTHING has happened.

Soon I felt Clare's arms embrace me closely as she held me murmuring,

"It'll be okay, Alli. It'll be okay." Clare murmured into my ear, but I only cried louder.

"No. It won't! They don't even care, Clare! They don't even care about Fi!" I cried out, sobbing heavily into Clare's shoulder.

Clare didn't say another word, she just merely held me in her arms as I cried.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I could feel the heavy tears rush down on my face, dressing my face in tears. I couldn't stop crying though.

Crying because of the immense pain in my waist and chest, crying because of the incident with Bullfrog, my only family left and the final tears of realizing that Cece really had left me with Bullfrog.

"Why.. Why couldn't she just take me with her?" I whispered looking up at the ceiling.

"I would have been good. I wouldn't have thrown a fit. I'd go under a whole new name, go to the States, find a place to stay with her." I confessed.

"I just.. Why did she have to leave me? I wasn't that bad of a son was I? I tried my best to take care of her whenever she needed it. Whenever Bullfrog wasn't home and a party wasn't happening, I'd spend time with her, we'd talk about the future away from this.. Why did she have to have that future without me though?" I whimpered into my palms.

"Even if I can't have Cece, I'll just take a person who cares enough to be there for me. A person who truly cares about my well being and who I am. Someone who isn't with me for popularity reasons or for the sake of not being alone. Someone who is willing to be a friend to me.. Maybe even more, if she- that person was into dating. Not like I should care, I have a _girlfriend _now, I shouldn't think about Clare-" I groaned and cut myself off from talking out loud.

"Crap. Of course I was going to say her name, I can't help but say her name when everything else I think about is her. If only she knew.." I trailed off as I felt myself growing sleepy, I looked up and batted my eyelashes to see the nurse smiling as she tapped the IV.

"Nice little speech there, honey. Just make sure to tell that to this 'Clare' girl next time and not to yourself." The nurse said with a withered smile.

Before I could respond, I was asleep from the painkillers coursing through my veins.

* * *

Hope you like this chapter! Please a lot of reviews! My review goal for this story before it gets completed is 300 reviews! Please help me get there. (:


	17. Pushing Everyone Away

_Alli's Point of View:_

I heard the warning bell shrill in the air and people scurrying off into their first period, but at that moment I didn't care.

I stayed in Clare's arms while she soothed me, something I desperately needed.

After a few minutes, Clare pulled away and placed her hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye.

"Are you going to be okay, Alli?" Clare asked softly. I nodded and sniffed. Clare smiled and stood up, helping me up as well. We grabbed our bags and Clare was eyeing Fiona's locker.

"I miss her." Clare whispered. I sighed.

"Me too, Clare. Me too." I murmured, looking at Fiona's locker.

"Clare? Did you notice Drew standing there? Looking at me?" I asked slowly, Clare nodded.

"Yeah. He was on something though, so it was probably the drugs. Don't get freaked out over it." Clare assured me. I rolled my eyes.

"I know that, but he looked.. Sad. So sad looking at me and I'm pretty sure he was staring at Fiona's things as well. I never knew he loved her that much." I whispered. Clare smiled softly and grabbed my hand.

"He's just hurt right now, Alli. He'll be okay again. And for him loving Fiona, from what you told me about what they did together.. Well he did love her. Eventually he'll get over it and realize his feelings for you." Clare said sweetly and I scoffed."Me and Drew? Dating again? Oh hell no. Never gonna happen. You are crazy, Clare. Crazy." I spat. Clare giggled. "Well, do whatever you wanna do, Alli. Listen to the heart and all that love stuff." Clare informed me and I smiled.

"I'll make sure of that, Clare." I said, grabbing the box of Fiona's things.

"Do you need any help with that? If you get too upset or anything.. I'll take it for the day." Clare offered and I shook my head.

"No.. I'm okay with it, Clare. I'll be fine." I paused and eyed the speakers around the school. "They could have at least mentioned Fiona's name and her death. They just _skipped _over it. Pisses me off." I scowled. Clare placed a hand on my arm.

"There there, now, Alli. Calm down. They just didn't know Fiona like we did. They didn't know her at all." Clare said. I sighed and shrugged.

"I guess you are right, Clare." I agreed. Clare smiled and rubbed my arm.

"And just because Fiona is gone.. That doesn't mean I'm gonna be gone too. I'm gonna stay here with you, Alli." Clare promised. I smiled and hugged Clare with one arm.

"Thanks, Clare. Means a lot." I murmured.

"No problem. Might as well get to class, don't wanna get as many detentions as Fiona got." Clare said. I forced a harsh laugh.

"Yeah might as well." I said. "I'll see you in PE." Clare said before scurrying off to English.

I sighed and looked down to see that I left something out of Fiona's box, when I bent down to pick it up, my eyes widen.

How did I not see this when I was cleaning her locker out?

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I was in and out of sleep last night and this following morning. I was about to fall back into the deep black sea's of sleep when I heard a knock on the door, I opened my eyes quickly and tried to heave myself into a upright position on the bed, realizing that was useless, I gave up and said loudly.

"Come in."

When I saw Drew walk into the room, I was surprised. He'd only seen me once and I was sure he wouldn't come back to see me even more.

"Drew? Dude, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked alarmed.

Drew shrugged and threw his backpack on the ground, pulled a nearby chair out, and sitting casually on it.

"I had too many things to do." Drew merely said, not making eye contact with me. I sighed.

"I don't wanna know what those things were, but I'm pretty sure I have a good idea of what it is." I said knowingly.

Drew then smiled and grabbed his backpack,

"Hey, I got you something, bro." Drew said.

I raised an eyebrow at his words,

"Why would you have something for me?" I asked. Drew sighed and opened his backpack, pulling an object out and placing it in my hands.

"There." Drew said.

I gasped at what he had gotten me, my old guitar pick necklace.

"Dude.. Drew. How did you even get this? The last time I saw this sucker was when I had to pawn it for money the first time I ran off from home this.. I thought it was gone. I thought what Julia gave me was.. Gone." I said surprised.

"I.. I thought it would make you feel better to some extent. Make you feel less shitty. I just didn't want you feeling like crap anymore." Drew said softly.

I was about to thank him for re buying this necklace, when I suddenly realized _how _he got this necklace and I had a disgusted look on my face.

"It would make me feel less shitty if I hadn't known how you got this." I paused. "Is that what you and your loser friends do nowadays? Steal?" I asked in a sneering tone.

Drew just chortled.

"Come on, bro. Lighten up. I didn't use the money.. I borrowed it.." Drew said, trailing off at the end and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah right. Borrow. You fucking stole this. I can't accept this." I sneered, throwing the necklace at Drew, who barely caught it.

"Come on, Eli. Lighten the fuck up. It was an awesome way I stole this for you. The way Matthew distracts the guards and the way I snuck in there, broke the glass and just before the guards got to me, I escaped smoothly with them. It was.. Awesome." Drew said in a daze. I suddenly wanted to kick myself for not realizing how high he really was. It was clear on his face.

"You're high. Just.. Get out. Please." I asked nicely. Drew sighed and stood up, pushing the chair back behind him.

"You know. When I saw you walk in here, ditching school to see me. I actually thought you might have cared about me. That things were beginning to change all around. But now that I see _this,_" I paused to gesture towards Drew's face. "Its never going to change. You'll never care, Drew." I whispered the last words, Drew didn't say a word, he stood there, teetering on his feet and I felt angry at him, furious and I shouted,

"JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Drew whimpered a bit at my shouting, but scurried from the room and down the hall, I laid back on the cot, feeling the tears well up in my eyes again, Oh God.. Not anymore crying.

I hated this crying thing, I had too many emotions and I could only let them out by crying and it annoyed the fuck out of me.

I just wanted sleep to come away and take me forever.

I'd be okay with that.

* * *

_Adam's Point of View: {Small part}_

I looked down at Eli's crying figure. He looked so broken, so torn up.

I reached a hand forward, aiming to lay a hand on his arm, but it went right through, and that only made me cry.

"_It'll be okay, Eli. I promise you. Even though you can't see me or hear me, It'll be okay. I'll make sure Drew will be right on track again and soon Fiona will be an angel and she can help too. Then I'll try to help you out on the popularity thing, the fake Eli thing. Then the Clare thing.. Because face it dude, you really like that girl." _I whispered.

I paused, awaiting an answer back and I kicked myself realizing that Eli couldn't hear me. I was nothing in this room.

"_Anyway, dude. I'm gonna help you out. I'm not gonna leave you. I'll just be needing, Fiona's help and when that happens, everything should get better. I promise." _I murmured.

Realizing that there was nothing else to say and that I should be going back to see if Fiona was okay with the angel process, I disappeared.

It was a pretty cool perk.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I was hurriedly scribbling down notes that Ms. Dawes was writing on the board, it was hard trying to keep up with her. When I raised my head to see more of the words, everything seemed blurry. I shook my head, expecting the blurriness to go away, but it didn't, it seemed like it got worst.

I could start to feel my face grow hot and my head was starting to feel dizzy.

Why did this always _have _to happen during school?

I raised my hand slowly and Ms. Dawes smiled when she saw my hand shoot up in the air.

"Why thank you for volunteering once again, Ms. Edwards. What's the problem with this sentence?" Ms. Dawes said, pointing to a broken sentence on the board. I sighed.

"Uhm. It's a run on sentence, Ms. Dawes. It has no periods or any apostrophes." I said. Ms. Dawes smiled and nodded.

"That is correct, Clare. Thank you." Ms. Dawes thanked. I heard a scoff from the back of the classroom, I turned around to see Bianca lean towards Owen.

"Oh well isn't that a surprise huh?" Bianca sneered before sitting back."Nerd." Bianca said in my direction, smirking.

I turned around when I heard Ms. Dawes say to pass up the homework, I pulled my homework from my folder and passed it ahead and then heard Bianca's snooty voice again."Oh well, you see Ms. Dawes. None of us was able to do the homework last night, we were too busy studying for tomorrow's test." Bianca lied, there was _no _study party and if there was, I was never invited.

"Oh well. I guess since no one did the homework, you are all off the hook." Ms. Dawes said, but then Imogen passed Ms. Dawes a sheet of paper, my homework.

Oh God.

"Oh well. Change of though, class. Seems like Ms. Edwards was able to do the homework, then all of you should have too. None of you are off the hook." Ms. Dawes said, placing my homework on her desk.

I heard Bianca yelp loudly in the back of the class, I turned around and saw that she was furious at me, her brown eyes were daggers, staring at me.

"Nerd. Nerd. Nerd!" Owen started to chant.

Soon Bianca joined in.

Then Imogen.

Then more people did.

Then the whole class was chanting nerd.

I escaped from the classroom, running down the hall as I heard their booming laughs, I gasped for breath.

I made it to my locker and I scrambled around looking for my pills and water bottle.

When I finally found it, I silently thanked God.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

I opened up Fiona's diary while sitting in the back of Mr. Armstrong's class. I saw in perfect cursive,

Fiona Celestine Arabella Coyne.

Before I flipped to the first page in her diary, I heard the door open and a dazed Drew walk in.

High no doubt.

Drew brushed past my seat and took the only available seat, which was next to me.

Great.

I flipped the page open and started to read the first page of Fiona's diary,

_September 13, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was my first day back at Degrassi as a senior now. I wish I could spend more time of it with Holly J or Declan, but I'm perfectly happy spending it with Alli. She's a pretty great best friend, diary. There's a new girl here at Degrassi though, Clare. I think that's her name, she's becoming fast friends with Alli and probably Jenna. Even though Jenna doesn't seem like the type to like people who seem timid and shy like Clare. One person who doesn't seem to like her is that Eli Goldsworthy. Ugh. He can be such an asshole sometimes! I wonder if he knows about me and Drew.. I sure hope not, because if he does.. He'll tell Alli! Or the whole school! I'd be ruined, diary. Absolutely RUINED! God I hope he doesn't know. He doesn't need to know. The only people who should know about me and Drew's small little hookup should ONLY be me and Drew. That's it. Alli doesn't need to know. Neither does Eli. Ugh, sorry, I've got to go, diary. Alli's calling me. I hope I don't spill the beans since the secret is still fresh in my mind. :P Toodles!_

_Love, Fiona (:_

I felt my stomach turn into knots at Fiona's nervousness and being scared of me finding out her secret. Sure when I first found out, I felt like slapping Fiona and ending our friendship.

But that was a long time ago, it didn't need to be brought up, so I forgave Fiona and we put it behind us.

Soon I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I closed Fiona's diary and pulled my phone out, looking around to see if Mr. Armstrong was looking, he wasn't, so I opened the text and saw that it was from.. Drew?

**Drew Torres**

**Hey is that fiona's journal?**

**8:27AM**

I groaned and quickly texted back,

**Alli Bhandari**

**Yah I found it in her locker this morning.**

**8:28AM**

**Drew Torres**

**Is that y u were crying this morning?**

**8:30AM**

**Alli Bhandari**

**Yes. I rlly miss her drew so of course im gonna cry becuz of it. Im not gonna hold it in like u do. It doesn't hurt 2 show emotion once in a while.**

**8:31AM**

I slid my phone back into my pocket and stared at Drew, waiting for him to reply, but he just stared at his text messing screen and shut his phone and looked at me in a daze.

"How would you know if I show emotion or not? Huh?" Drew sneered.

When I didn't answer him automatically, he stood up angrily and shouted,

"HUH? YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT, ALLI!"

I stood up as well and put my hands on my hips.

"YOU NEVER LET ME COME AROUND TO SEE IF YOU ARE OKAY! OR TO SEE IF YOU EVEN SHOW ANY EMOTION! YOU NEVER LET ANYONE COMFORT YOU!" I screeched.

When Drew didn't answer me back, I decided to continue on,

"YOU JUST PUSH ME AWAY. THAT'S ALL YOU EVER DO! THAT'S ALL YOU EVER DID TO ME AND FIONA! AND YOU PROBABLY DO IT TO ELI! AND PROBABLY USE TO DO IT TO ADAM TOO!" I screamed.

I heard some gasps come across the classroom as I mentioned Adam's name, no one ever says his name, since they are all in shame for at one point bullying him into suicide.

I looked at Drew and he furious as hell."DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE BRING FIONA AND ADAM INTO THIS CONVERSATION! _**EVER!**_" Drew screamed.

Suddenly Mr. Armstrong intervened.

"Would you two like a moment together or can I continue on my lesson?" Mr. Armstrong asked.

I sighed and turned towards, Mr. Armstrong.

"May I use the washroom, please?" I asked.

When Mr. Armstrong nodded, I gave Drew one last glare before exiting the room and out into the hallway.

As I was taking the long route to the washroom farthest away from math, I saw Clare by her lockers, looking pretty drained.

I scurried over to her,

"So you're out here too? I asked. Clare turned towards me and nodded, her face was sweaty and her eyes looked weary, she popped a couple pills in her mouth and drank some water.

I felt a twinge of concern for her in my stomach.

"Are you okay, Clare?" I asked worriedly.

Clare nodded and shrugged.

"It happens time to time. No need to get worried." Clare informed me before putting her water away in her locker and shutting her locker door.

"Did you take enough pills?" I asked, pressing more into her health issues. Clare smiled softly, but weakly.

"Yeah. I'll be fine, Alli." Clare paused. "Why are _you _out here?" Clare asked. I sighed.

"Drew came into class and.. Lets just say we didn't have the most civilest conversation." I groaned, thinking back to our shouting.

"Oh." Clare said, pausing.

"What?" I asked, thinking there was something happening to her.

I noticed Clare look at Eli's locker which was next to hers."Should I take him his English homework?" Clare asked, looking from me to his locker. I rolled my eyes.

"You'd do anything to see him, huh?" I asked. Clare bit her lip nervously.

"Wha-what? No. No. Its not like that, Alli. I wouldn't dare like him." Clare lied. I sighed.

"I don't understand why you would ever like him. You're only gonna end up hurt in the end and I'll be there picking up the broken pieces and trying to heal your broken heart." I said.

"Maybe.. Maybe he just needs someone to care about him." Clare murmured. I raised an eyebrow.

"And you wanna be that person?" I asked. Clare shrugged.

"Yes.. No.. I don't know. I understand what its like to not have anyone." Clare whispered. I sighed.

"You have me." I said. Clare nodded.

"I know its just.. never mind." Clare muttered.

"Well I can't stop you from going to see the guy or falling for him, but just.. Be careful, Clare. I don't want you to get your heart broken." I said.

I sighed and walked back to class, not even awaiting for Clare to respond to me.

Because I already knew it was too late to talk her out of liking, Eli.

Her feelings were already too deep.

And his feelings.. They probably were too.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I took a deep breath, pushed Alli's words out of my mind and re entered Ms. Dawes' class to hear Bianca laugh,

"Aww. The little nerd is back! Lets welcome her back with her song!" Bianca said happily, earning some laughs from the class.

"Don't even think about is, Ms. De Sousa. You all should follow Clare's example and actually do some homework!" Ms. Dawes exclaimed.

"You're totally right, Ms. Dawes! I'll be just like, Clare!" Bianca said in a mock voice, she grabbed a piece of paper, wrote something down and crumpled the paper up, "Here's my work, Ms. Dawes!" Bianca said, she then threw the paper ball into my face.

I heard the whole class chortle in laughter at my demise.

"Nice one, Bee!" Owen said, high fiving Bianca and even giving her a kiss on the cheek, earning a flirty smile from Bianca.

"That's it you two! I've had enough of these shenanigans! Owen, Bianca. You two can be romantic at detention. After school." Ms. Dawes exclaimed.

Owen and Bianca quickly wiped the smiles off their faces and groaned.

I looked down and quickly fought the incoming tears that were threatening to humiliate me even more.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I slowly woke up to the feeling of someone running their fingers through my hair, I yawned and opened my eyes, thinking I had seen Jenna smiling down at me. I groaned.

"Not now, Jenna. I just wanna sleep." I murmured.

The person next to me laughed softly, I _knew _that laugh.

"_Try again." _The person said.

My eyes flew open again and I saw the person before me clearly.

"Holy crap." I whispered.

* * *

Bum bum buuum. (: Nice little cliffhanger there! This chapter focused more on Alli and Drew and Fiona, sorry for not including that much Eli and Clare, but remember they are the stars of the story, so they will be mentioned! (:

Also the little Adam POV was something I was trying out, not sure if I should always have Adam's POV included.

Please a lot of reviews! Remember my goal is 300 reviews on this story. (:

Hope you enjoyed!


	18. Could Have Stayed

_Alli's Point of View:_

I quickly rushed back into Mr. Armstrong's class in time for the bell to ring. Sure I earned a glare and a detention from Mr. Armstrong for yelling in the classroom and disrupting class time. But it was worth having to tell Drew everything he needed to know.

I guarantee you anything, no one has ever told him off like that.

As I walked back to desk, careful not to bump into anyone, I grabbed my bag, slinging it over my shoulder, but as I was grabbing for Fiona's diary, I saw it was gone.

As my heart pace quickened, I scanned the room with my eyes and my eyes landed on Drew's empty desk next to me.

A gut wrenching feeling in my stomach told me that Drew had Fiona's diary.

Anger flushed through my veins at the thought of him stealing Fiona's personal diary and possibly reading every thought that she has had.

Just that thought sent me into a rage for the rest of the day.

…

I angrily grabbed my lunch tray and almost spilled my lunch on Bianca as I did so.

"Watch where you're going, slut." Bianca snarled. I rolled my eyes.

"I'd say the same thing to _you." _I said, gesturing towards Bianca and her very revealing clothing, "At least I cover my tits up. Unlike some whore I know." I sneered.

Some people who were sitting nearby were listening and were now intent on a fight possibly happening.

Bianca scoffed and quickly pulled her shirt up, covering her breasts up.

"At least I don't cheat on guys whenever I please, Backwoods. We all your reputation around here. And as far as I'm concerned, my rep is cleaner than yours." Bianca spat.

"I wasn't the only one who cheated in that relationship, Bianca!" I exclaimed loudly.

Bianca's jaw opened wide, but nothing came out, she was in shock by my secret.

"Wait. You mean, that Drew cheated on you too? You guys both whored out on _each other?" _Bianca said shockingly.

I threw my hands up in the air, there was no use in keeping the secret in any longer."Yep! There's no point to keeping it in anymore anyway! Drew cheated on me and I cheated on him! There! Happy?" I shouted.

Everyone in the cafeteria was silent at my words, I rolled my eyes.

"Just when you selfish bitches and bastards get juicy gossip, you shut your mouths for once in your lives. Hypocrites, I swear." I muttered before shoving past Bianca and a couple other students in a way to escape the cafeteria.

I pushed the cafeteria doors open and exited the zoo of students hastily.

As if I ever even cared anymore about them, they all sucked.

Every teenager does.

Every person does.

As I marched down the hall and out the front door, I saw Clare sitting outside for a change at one of the picnic tables, eating her lunch alone.

She wasn't even eating it, just picking at it and throwing to the birds.

I quickly reached Clare's table and sat across from her, which surprised her.

"Oh hey. Didn't expect to see you." Clare said startled. I groaned.

"Life fucking sucks, Clare. I'm pissed beyond belief!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in exaggeration.

Clare leaned into a balled fist and looked at me with her curious blue eyes.

"Tell me what happened, Alli. I won't judge." Clare promised.

One of the many things, I love about Clare Edwards.

She never judged me.

I sighed and placed my head in my hands.

"First off, Drew stole Fiona's diary and I'm pissed." I growled.

Clare's eyes widened.

"He stole it? Why?" Clare asked. I sighed.

"Because he was madly in love with her and he probably wanted to know more. The nosy bastard." I cursed.

Clare's eyes widened.

"Drew loved Fiona?" Clare whispered. I sighed and nodded.

"If it was never obvious. If no one could ever tell that he was always smitten with her, fooled around with her while we were dating. I just.. I feel betrayed, Clare. Even though it happened a long time ago.. I still feel betrayed, you know?" I confessed.

I felt Clare's hand clasp down on mine and she gave me a kind hand squeeze.

"Everything will work out in the end, Alli. I promise you it will." Clare promised with a genuine smile. I sighed and pulled my hand away.

"No, it won't, Clare. Nothing ever works out, here, ever. That's why I'm counting down the days until graduation. Yeah its only a couple years away, but I hate it here, Clare. I've seen almost everything happen here and nothing ever gets better. Nothing changes here. People put up fronts, so many people here lead double lives. But they are the best pretenders around here that its crazy." I murmured.

Clare sighed.

"Well, I'm glad I came here. That way I know that I'm not the only one here with a broken heart." Clare admitted. I groaned.

"You know.. Eli's the worst here. As far as what you've told me, and what's been happening to him. I barely remember his true self here. I was just a skanky freshman here when he was the new sophomore. I don't think anyone remembers who he use to be." I said, looking off into the trees, trying to remember what Eli use to be like, but all that came to my mind was Adam.

I felt a pang in my heart hearing Adam's name.

Remembering how frail and fragile, Adam was.

He was like a broken toy, kept trying to work, but just couldn't.

That night kept replaying in my mind, how sad he looked.

I just wanted to cheer him up.

Make him happy.. Sure it was the wrong type of happy.. But I wanted him not to have a constant frown anymore.

It was wrong what I did, and as far as I can tell, only I'll keep this one secret.

No one will ever find out.

* * *

_Adam's Point of View:_

I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I saw who was before, Eli.

"Mom?" Eli croaked, while looking in amazement at Cece.

Cece ran her fingers through, Eli's hair.

"Hey baby boy." Cece murmured, looking down at Eli as if he was a little baby, which in her mind, he probably was to her.

"I don't know whether to be happy or angry right now." Eli whispered, still looking at Cece and she sighed.

"You have every right to be mad with me, baby." Cece said. Eli scoffed.

"You.. You abandoned me. For a couple months, mom. Why? Why would you do that when we were gonna leave with each other?" Eli exclaimed.

I could feel daggers strike through my nonexistent heart as I saw the pain being echoed between Cece and Eli's eyes.

The same green eyes.

I reached a hand out and tried to touch, Cece, but it just went though.

I took in a huge gulp of air and let out a strangled sort of yelp at the scene before me.

Cece was always like a mother to me, it was always like Eli was my brother.

I always felt like the new member to the Goldsworthy family.

And I was always welcomed whenever.

But now they were a broken family.

Were they even considered a family?

Cece had tears streaming down her face no matter how strong she wanted to be, she removed her hand from Eli's hair and started twiddling with her fingers.

"I..I couldn't be around anymore, baby boy. Your father was getting out of control. He raped me, honey." Cece whispered.

I noticed a flash of anger wash through, Eli, but it was quickly replaced with a mixture of remorse and sadness.

"I'm sorry he did that, mom. But _**look at me**_." Eli whispered as he weakly gestured towards himself. "I'm not even human anymore. I'm a broken piece of shit. Dad did this to me. What kind of sick bastard does this to their own child?" Eli yelped out, tears threatening to over pour in his eyes.

"Oh baby. If I would have known, Bullfrog was going to do this to you, I wouldn't have left baby. I wouldn't have." Cece admitted.

By this time, Eli was already crying, tears pouring down his cheeks and he didn't even bother to wipe them away, as Cece reached her shaking hand out to wipe them away, he weakly swatted her hand away.

"No! You-You wouldn't have known, mom! You were gone! You left me! I.. I thought you loved me.." Eli whispered. "You never called me.. Or answered my texts.. You changed your number and your email.. You cut me off."

Cece was full on sobbing at this moment, her makeup running down her face."I wanted too, Eli. Oh baby I wanted too so badly.. I just couldn't." Cece murmured."And what was stopping you, huh? Got a new boyfriend now? A new stepson? Come on, spill the details, mom." Eli sneered.

Suddenly the door flew open and Drew walked inside, his face showing shock as Cece turned around to see him.

"Oh.. Sorry. Shouldn't have came by to apologize right now.." Drew trailed off, looking everywhere but Cece's face.

"Drew.. You shouldn't be here." Eli whispered, wiping his tears away. "I forgive you. So you can go now."

"No.. Drew can stay.. He can hear why I left as well.." Cece whispered, trying to dab her smeared makeup away.

"Yeah. Why _did _you leave, huh? You fucking left him when he needed you. Some mother you are." Drew spat, looking Cece directly in the eye.

I took a moment to place my hands on my head, feeling an immense headache from the heartbreak and warfare.

Why so much arguing? I hated this.

"My mother's a better mom that you are.. And _that's _saying something." Drew scoffed while looking away from Cece's pained face.

"Drew!" Eli exclaimed hoarsely from his cot.

Drew rolled his eyes at Eli's direction.

"Why should I listen to you, huh? She left you in the dust, man! She deserves to be yelled at!" Drew shouted, giving Cece a dirty look as he did so.

Drew and Eli continued to bicker, Cece was looking between them, trying to stop the fight from hurting Eli even more than he was hurt.

During this whole time, I was still trying to keep in tune with Fiona's angel process and I just couldn't concentrate.

"STOP!" I screamed.

The bickering stopped as Drew stopped shouting and he looked at me, his eyes turning sympathetic.

Eli was lying on his cot, trying to catch his breath from the shouting as Cece tried her best to calm him.

"I'm sorry." Drew whispered in my direction.

* * *

_Darcy's Point of View:_

I composed myself as I walked onto the Degrassi campus, I checked my phone to see that Declan still hasn't answered my texts and phone since Fiona's death, he's been distant from everyone, possibly feeling detached since his twin is dead, a part of him died as well.

I felt like our relationship has died as well.

I quickly found Clare sitting at a bench table with her little friend, Alli.

I walked poised over to the table, Clare made eye contact with me and I could basically hear her groan from so many feet away.

I heard her murmur something to Alli before I approached them at the table.

"Hey.. So since you've been seeing Eli quite a bit.. Can you keep me updated on him?" I asked, Clare awkwardly.

Clare groaned.

"You couldn't have waited until we got home?" Clare moaned.

I sighed and looked back down at my phone, expecting a call from Declan.

"No.. I couldn't." I said softly. Clare sighed.

"He's been left paralyzed from the waist down, okay?" Clare informed me.

Then it felt as if the world had stopped for a moment.

"What.. He's para.. Paralyzed?" I stammered. Clare nodded glumly.

Suddenly Alli chirped in."But with therapy he should be able to walk again! Not as strongly as before.. But still a walk!"

I groaned and shook my head as I walked away, I could hear the two whispering behind my back.

"What were you doing at the high school?" Manny asked in disgust.

I hadn't' realized that she was waiting for me behind the bounds of the Degrassi campus.

"Just had to deal with some shit." I quipped as I put my sunglasses on and walked down the street, with a jabbering, Manny by my ear.

Great.

Like this day could get any better.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"You need to go, mom." I said firmly as I weakly wiped my tears away.

"Yeah. And don't _ever _come back. Ever." Drew sneered in Cece's direction.

God only knew how badly I wanted to punch him.

Cece merely nodded and gathered her things, pulling a piece of paper from her purse, setting it on the end table by me before kissing my cheek and leaving the room hurriedly.

I took a moment to rest my eyes before even reading the paper, when suddenly Drew started shouting.

"That is not what you call a "mom" Adam! She treated Eli like shit! She left him! Just because she treated you more like a son that our mom did, doesn't mean you can stick up for her! Jesus, Adam!" Drew shouted.

I looked at Drew confused as I saw him arguing with the blank space besides him.

But he said, Adam.

He was.. Arguing with Adam?

"Adam" I asked weakly. Drew looked in my direction and then looked in the blank space's direction and shook his head.

"I'm out of here. Sorry, bro." Drew apologized before scurrying from the room.

Leaving me utterly confused.

…

"Birch Avenue.." I whispered as I read the note Cece had left for me.

I heard a knock on the door and I placed the note back on the end table.

"Come in." I said.

To my surprise, Clare walked in with my textbooks in her arms and stacks of papers as well.

She dropped the load onto the end table and sighed.

"There is all your assignments." Clare told me, gesturing to the pile of work.

I scoffed.

"I shouldn't do this. I wasn't even there to learn it." I spat. Clare rolled her eyes.

"Then you'll just fail, Eli. Okay? I don't know what you even want me to do." Clare said frustrated.

I shrugged at her words, not wanting to let my guard down and actually want her to stay.

Clare sighed.

"I shouldn't have even brought the work to you. Whatever. I'm out of here." Clare said as she spun on her heel for the door, but I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back."Please.. Just.. Stay. Please. I need someone, Clare. My mom.. She came back today.. I can't be alone. Please. _I need you._" I whispered.

"And you want that person being me?" Clare asked softly, I nodded in her response.

Clare looked down at my hand gripping her wrist and she sighed, grabbing my math textbook, she sat down in the chair next to my cot.

"Okay. I'll help." Clare breathed as she flipped through the pages.

I took this little time to just stare at her.

Yeah.. Its creepy, but I never usually get time to see her cuteness and all.

It's a pretty sight for sure.

…

"Times up!" Clare said as she reached forward for my work.

"No! No! I'm not finished! Not fair!" I exclaimed as I rushed through the last math problem.

Clare giggled and grabbed the paper from me and snorted.

"This is done all wrong, Eli." Clare laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"Well you try to do work when you weren't even there!" I exclaimed.

Clare fake scoffs at my words.

"I was there, dummy! That's why I'm teaching you these things!" Clare exclaims. I laugh.

"Teaching? You're not even teaching me, Clare! Worst teacher ever!" I tease. Clare smirks."Worst teacher ever, eh? I"ll just leave now then.." Clare trails off as she stands up, I chuckle and grab her hand.

"No. Come on. You're the best teacher ever." I said truthfully. Clare looked at me and smiled.

"Alright then.. But we have a lot more work to do, Mr. Goldsworthy." Clare said with a smirk.

I groaned loudly at her words.

But at least I'd be spending the next few hours with her.

I was not objecting one bit.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I walked into the house after three hours of tutoring, Eli. I never knew he could be smart and all.

I actually thought him failing everything was the truth.

"Helen! I'm home!" I shouted as I walked through the front door, tossing my bag on the couch and entering the kitchen where Helen was sitting at the kitchen table, on her laptop.

Helen looked up at me and smiled softly.

"How is he doing?" Helen asked, closing her laptop.

"He's doing better." I said, not including the fact that his mom just walked back into his life.

Helen stood up and crossed the room, and stood in front of me.

"Darcy told me about how you told her that Eli's paralyzed." Helen told me in a hushed tone.

I shrugged."Yeah.. Darcy didn't say much when I told her, she left with Manny. But when I saw Eli today-" I was quickly cut off by Darcy storming into the kitchen.

"Oh so now, you're stealing my friends now?" Darcy sneered in my direction.

"Darcy Sofia. Not now." Helen warned, but Darcy completely ignored her.

"First you take my mother and now you take my best friend? What the hell, freak?" Darcy exclaimed furiously.

I looked at Darcy in shock and anger.

"I'm not stealing anyone from you, Darcy. I'm never going to either." I hissed.

Darcy forced a harsh laugh."You're letting that stupid little 'fatal' disease get to you, huh?" Darcy sneered. I gasped.

"Don't go there, Darcy! Don't bring that up!" I shouted.

"I think that's the reason why you were even at a orphanage to begin with. Your parents didn't want a sick kid. I bet they aren't even dead." Darcy spat.

I could feel the tears prickle in my eyes, threatening to over flow.

"Please, Darcy.. Stop.." I whispered.

"No! I won't stop until you get the hell out of my life, freak!" Darcy shouted.

"I'm not stealing anyone from you, though! You still have your mom, Darcy! And Eli? I'm just tutoring him, that's it! Stop acting crazy about this!" I defended myself.

"I'll stop acting crazy when you stop being the freaky orphan, mom brought home! You're like the pet no one likes! But they feel sorry for you, so they keep you!" Darcy shouted.

"STOP SHOUTING AT YOUR SISTER!" Helen shouted loudly.

Darcy scoffed.

"SHE IS **NOT **MY SISTER!" Darcy screamed, pointing a finger in my face.

"YES SHE IS!" Helen screamed, she paused to take a breath and calm down. "She's your _real _sister. Your biological sister, Darcy. You two are blood related." Helen confessed.

The world stopped spinning.

Both me and Darcy exclaimed a screeching,

"WHAT?"

Helen just looked at us glumly and sympathetic.

I felt another secret being revealed.

* * *

Sorry for the late update! My last day of school is tomorrow, so I'll be able to update more and more! Please give a bunch of reviews! Remember my goal is 300! :D


	19. Fall For You

_Drew's Point of View:_

I can't ever do anything right.

Never.

I'm ruining my friendship, scratch that, its already ruined.

I have already ruined my friendship with Eli.

My only friend and now I have none.

I angrily kicked a small rock in front of me far away.

I growled and looked up to see that I was standing in front of Eli's house.

The house still a deep red brick house it has always been, the same tall tree standing in front of it, I could see Morty parked in the driveway, possibly yearning for a drive.

Possibly missing its owner.

I found myself walking up the short path to the Goldsworthy home, looking down to see the yellow flowers trailing up the walk.

Climbing the porch I felt my stomach flip.

The last time I was here, was when Eli was almost taken away by death.

The last time I was here, Clare and Darcy were crying their eyes out over Eli.

The last time I was here, I told Helen everything, no matter what the cost.

The last time I was here, Bullfrog escaped from hard time in prison.

The bastard was still on the loose to this day and I'm still surprised Eli isn't afraid of it.

I'm guessing he isn't afraid of anything anymore, he's seen everything there is to see.

I was about to knock on the door, but found that pointless since no one was currently living here at the moment, so I turned the doorknob and the door swung open to the living room of the home.

As I walked in, everything seemed a bit jumbled from the night of saving Eli's life.

Some pictures on the wall were on the ground, including the picture of Cece and Bullfrog on their wedding night.

I picked up the fallen picture, it looked as if it had been smashed, lines cracked across the picture.

I could make out their faces though, Bullfrog, actually smiling while he had his arm around Cece's waist, Cece was smiling lovingly as well, but she wasn't smiling at Bullfrog, she was smiling at a small Eli in her arms.

The small Eli in the picture was trying his best to smile, but just didn't seem to want to smile, so it was just a little _smirk._

The look of the picture would have made anyone who didn't know the Goldsworthy's that they were the picture perfect family.

With a well paid husband, a loving wife and a good hearted son.

But it was never like that.

Behind those closed doors, so much went on.

So much hurt.

So much hiding.

I sighed and placed the cracked picture back up on the wall, taking my eyes off the broken family belonging to Eli.

I walked up the stairs slowly, looking down at the blood marks trailing down the stairs, flashbacks threaten to overtake my mind, but I pushed them away before they overtook me.

I noticed Eli's room immediately, the door was still open and there was still blood all over his room, I shook my head, I was _not _planning to go in there.

I made my way down the hall and opened the next door, the next door belonged to Bullfrog's room.

The smell of bourbon filled my nostrils, making me gag greatly.

The strongest alcohol that I had ever inhaled in my life.

I still forced myself into the room, breathing through my mouth.

The room was very messy, clothes sprawled across the room, as well as empty and smashed bottles of whisky or vodka.

I placed my bag on Bullfrog's bed and opened the bag, picking Fiona's diary out of the bag.

I had managed to snatch the diary from Alli's desk while she ran out of math today.

There was no way she'd be getting this back, I had to know Fiona's thoughts.

Her thoughts on everything.

Her thoughts on _me._

I opened to the first page, I noticed Fiona's cursive immediately and smiled, running my fingertips over the light scrawl.

Before I could even begin to read what she had to say the sound of a door slamming downstairs startled me.

I threw Fiona's diary in my bag and threw the bag on the ground.

I left Bullfrog's room and walked down the stairs slowly.

"Who's there?" I shouted while making my way down the stairs.

As I entered the living room, I saw nothing, but soon a angry and sweating Bullfrog emerged from the kitchen.

My eyes immediately went to the sharp knife which he was wielding in his left hand.

Bullfrog looked up at me and panted,

"Where is he? Where's Eli?' Bullfrog growled.

I couldn't help but be frightened by the knife in his hand, the very _sharp _knife in his hand.

I started to back up away from him, but that only made him get closer to me, the sharp knife turning in his meaty hand.

"_Drew? Drew listen to me." _Adam's voice suddenly whispered.

I whipped my head back and forth looking for Adam and then I saw him beside me.

"_Cece is outside right now. She's behind the front door. She's right there." _Adam whispered.

I shook my head at Bullfrog.

"I..I can't tell you where Eli's at." I stammered, ignoring what Adam told me.

Bullfrog chuckled harshly.

"Are you high? You don't think I never knew you were into drugs? Boy, I use to be into drugs when I was younger, fucked me up in the head. I hope you didn't give any to Eli, don't want him turning out like his old man huh?" Bullfrog said in a raspy voice.

I felt anger overtake my blood.

"You took some didn't you? Asshole!" I exclaimed.

While Bullfrog slowly smiled, I could hear Adam groan.

"_This isn't time for you to discuss your drug dealing problems, Drew. Right now, Cece is behind that door. Just run to the door and open it up for her, get the hell out of here with her. Or you both will be dead. Don't do that to, Eli." _Adam whispered.

But I couldn't find my legs.I couldn't find the strength to do that.

I only couldn't find the strength because I wanted to die.

I wanted it so badly.

If only he would rush that knife into my skin..

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I couldn't believe the words that came from Helen's mouth.

Related?

**Blood related?**

How could that even be possible?

"Please tell me that what you just said was a huge mistake. Please?" I begged in a soft voice, looking at Helen's glum face.

Helen shook her head.

"No.. Its not a mistake, Clare." Helen murmured.

I sunk into the sofa in the living room, looking on at Darcy who was staring at Helen hopelessly."Mom.. What's going on?" Darcy asked.

Helen sighed."I'm.. I'm not your birth mom, Darcy. I adopted you when you just a baby." Helen admitted.

I could feel my heart sink into my chest at her words, I looked at Darcy's pained face."What.. No.. No you're lying. You're lying. You're my mom.. _You have to be my mom." _Darcy whispered looking desperately at Helen's face.

I sighed softly and leaned forward, burying my face in my hands, not wanting to look at the sadness before me.

"I was going to tell you, honey. When the time was going to be right.. I was going to tell-" Helen was then cut off by Darcy's growl."Don't you dare touch me ever again." Darcy growled.

There was a short pause.

"I don't know what is more surprising. The fact that you've lied to me all of my life." Darcy sighed and paused. "Or that Clare is my biological sister." Darcy whispered softly.

I looked up and my gaze met Darcy.

I was trying to search for something in her eyes, sadness or sympathy.

But I found nothing but anger and confusion in her blue eyes.

Which now that I think of it…

Her blue eyes are the same shade as mine.

Why didn't I ever notice that before.

It seemed like Darcy noticed it at the same time and her mouth slightly opened as if to tell me something, but she closed her mouth and faced Helen.

Helen was wiping tears from her face,"Please sit down, Darcy. I want to explain everything to you two. Just please sit." Helen asked, gesturing to the sofa.

Darcy looked at the sofa and then her eyes wandered to her car keys laying on the kitchen counter.

Helen followed her gaze and sighed.

"Running away isn't gonna solve anything, Darcy. Just sit down with me and Clare and I'll explain everything about you girls. Just please sit." Helen pleaded with Darcy.

Darcy continued to gaze at the sofa or at her keys.

She could either stay or escape.

She was legal and old enough to do so.

The mere thought of my only blood relative leaving me made my heart ache.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I looked down at Bullfrog's sharp knife, not only longing for its puncture, but also wondering why this man was even acting like this."Is this why you're acting like this? Because you're on drugs?" I asked softly.

Bullfrog shook his head.

"No.. Drugs didn't do this to me. That.. That woman and my family dying did this to me. I have no one, kid. _No one." _Bullfrog whispered, his eyes on the verge of crying.

"Cece never left, Bullfrog. She's right there. Behind the front door. Waiting." I whispered, gesturing towards the wooden front door.

Bullfrog laughed harshly."What? Do you think I'm stupid, kid?" Bullfrog asked lowly.

Soon I saw the knife start coming closer to me, and I gulped looking at its sharp point."You're so gonna regret calling the cops on me kid. So gonna regret it." Bullfrog said with a nasty smile.

As he inched forward with the knife, I inched closer to accepting this death gratefully.

At least I'd be seeing Fiona and Adam.

At least I'd stop hurting the people I love.

At least everything would be okay for everyone else.

At least I wouldn't hurt myself anymore.

At least.. Everything would be fine in the world.

I closed my eyes tightly as the knife came towards me.

But suddenly a huge crashing sound came from in front of me.

I looked up to see that Cece had smashed a vase into Bullfrog's head.

Bullfrog dropped his knife and placed a hand on the back of his head, seeing fresh velvet blood on his meaty hands.

Then he collapsed onto the floor, falling on his knife, I could only hear the sound of more blood pouring from his stomach, coming from under his unresponsive body.

I soon felt Cece pull me into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry for how I treated Eli. I apologize, Drew. Oh, I apologize." Cece murmured in my ear.

I didn't know what to do.

I didn't hug her back.

I just left my arms dangling by my side as she held me close.

Treating me like a son.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I groaned as I woke up to the sounds of my machines beeping.

I sighed heavily and looked around seeing no one, that was until my eyes saw a person sitting on the couch on the far end of the room.

Startled by the person, I cleared my throat and they were startled as well.

I noticed that the person was Clare off the bat as she got up and walked towards me, sitting in the chair next to my cot.

"Hi." Clare whispered, not even looking at my face, but just staring at the machinery I was hooked up to.

I chuckled weakly and looked at her."Hey.. Why are you here?" I asked, looking at the clock which read that it was close to 12 at night.

Clare didn't answer me, she just sighed and placed her head in her hands, breathing heavily.

I scoffed.

"Okay, like that wasn't a question or anything." I said jokingly.

When she didn't respond back to my snarky remark I knew something was definitely up with her.

"Hey.." I said, lightly touching her arm. "What's wrong?" I asked softly. Clare sighed and looked up."I don't wanna bother you with my petty problems." Clare replied.

"I've bothered you enough with mine." I said, giving her a comforting smile.

Clare sighed heavily.

"Okay well.. Darcy.. Darcy is my _**real **_sister. We're actually related." Clare whispered.

Confusion fell over me.

"What?" I asked confused.

Clare groaned and ran a hand through her reddish brown curls in frustration.

I then contemplated the whole ordeal.

"Wait.. So if Darcy is your sister.. Does that mean that your parents who died.. Are they even your parents?" I asked looking at Clare.

Clare looked up despairingly.

"I don't know!" Clare exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the hair, tears streaming down her face.

"I never asked, Helen. I just ran out of there. I couldn't handle all the sadness and anger. I just.. I just had to leave. So I came here. First place I thought of." Clare whispered.

"Wait. You _walked _here? Clare that's dangerous!" I exclaimed looking at her like she was crazy.

No one ever dared walk from her house to where the hospital was.

There was the ghetto neighborhoods which had regular shootings and women being raped every night.

Just the thought of some man taking Clare and raping her, made me angry.

"I know.. I just.. I had to leave. I couldn't handle the.." Clare trailed off and into sobs."You couldn't handle the truth?" I finished for her.

Clare nodded and looked up at me with her red eyes and nose.

"I know what you mean. I haven't been able to handle the truth lately either." I confessed.

"Which one? If you don't mind me asking.." Clare whispered.

I sighed and looked ahead.

"I saw the way he would beat her." I said.

"The way you saw who beat who?" Clare asked confused.

"Whenever I was suppose to go to bed, I'd go upstairs, but I'd watch. I'd watch the way he'd pummel her into the ground. Kick her in the stomach. Punch her in the face. Spit in her face… I don't blame her necessarily for leaving me. She had good intentions. Anyone would want to leave man like my father. I went through what she went through and.. And I just can't forgive her for leaving me." I murmured, still looking ahead.

Clare sighed.

"You can't force yourself to forgive her, Eli." Clare paused. "But with time just about anything can heal. Physical or emotional." Clare said.

"What more time is there, Clare? Time is running out as we speak. There is never enough time in the world to do what we need to do." I whispered, looking at her.

"I know what you mean." Clare said, looking down as if she was referring my words to something else.

"I don't believe you do." I argued, still looking at her.

Clare sighed and looked up at me."I do understand. More than anybody in this world." Clare confessed, while she awkwardly grabbed my hand with her own.

I looked down at our intertwined hands and sighed."Why are you doing this?" I looked up at me."Doing what?" Clare asked innocently.

".. Getting involved with a guy like me. Its gonna bring nothing by hurt in your life, Clare." I informed her, hoping that would scare her away.

But all she did was merely shrug.

"Everyone needs a hand to hold." Clare simply said.

I sighed and eased my hand away from hers.

"No.. No, Clare you don't understand this. Please." I looked up at Clare's blue eyes. "I don't want you to fall for me." I told her.

"Fall for you?" Clare asked.

I closed my eyes and leaned back into my pillows, feeling her soft gaze on me.

"I don't want you falling for me because.. I don't wanna hurt you, Clare." I whispered.

* * *

The whole time I wrote this, I listened to _Steal Your Heart by Augustana _its featured in the new Degrassi promo which JUST came out yesterday!

Also I am officially out of school for the summer as of Thursday! So more updates! :D

Please review! I'm almost to 200!


	20. I'm Not Okay

_Eli's Point of View:_

"I know better than to fall for you, Eli." Clare informed me, crossing her arms across her chest while looking down at me.

I looked at her confused."What.. What do you mean?" I asked, feeling a bit disappointed at her words, she knew better than to fall for me?

"Eli. You've said it yourself. You hurt girls when you date them. You only use them for cool points. Well, you're not gonna use me." Clare quipped.

Before I could even intervene and tell her otherwise, she continued on.

"You'll probably cheat on, Jenna. Just steal someone else's girlfriend. You'd only do that because you're afraid to commit to one girl. Just one person. You're afraid to. And I'm smart enough not to fall for it. I won't fall for you." Clare explained.

I bit my lip and looked around, ashamed to look in her in the face after what she told me.

"I'm not afraid to commit to one girl, Clare.." I paused. "Its just what my friends expect from me." I said, defending myself poorly.

Clare scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"So your friends tell you to play girls, you play girls, they tell you to get wasted at parties and you get wasted at parties?" Clare paused to force a harsh laugh, "Seems like they have you wrapped around their fingers huh?" Clare asked.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Clare.

"You don't understand me. No one does. There is no use in pretending to know who I really am." I sneered.

Clare clicked her tongue.

"Really? Because I have you all figured out, Eli." Clare pressed.

I sat upright in bed and looked at her, cocking an eyebrow.

"Really? Go ahead, Clare. Try it out." I spat.

Clare cleared her throat and began.

"You do whatever it takes to stay within the popular crowd so you won't feel alone and spiral into depression. You believe that drinking solves your problems, and it makes you cool, so that's a 2 in 1 for you. You're just dating Jenna because its apart of your reputation and makes you seem cooler for dating a cheerleader. You're.." Clare took a deep breath, "And you're afraid of losing your dad since he's all you got left since you won't accept your mom again because you're afraid of losing her.. Again." Clare concluded by looking down at her hands.

I looked at her in shock.

She had it down.

Clare knew it all perfectly, everything that I had kept inside of me, she seemed to know.

I didn't know what to say to her, so I continued to look at her.

"Uhm.. I-I should go." Clare stammered whilst standing up.

Without even thinking about what I was saying, I said,

"Will you be back tomorrow?"

Clare shook her head slowly,

"I don't think I should.." Clare trailed off, looking down at her nails.

"You.. You can teach me another lesson before I get released tomorrow." I pressed further, hoping she would say yes.

Clare sighed and faced me.

"And then what? We go back to school and you bully me again? You pretend that this never happened? Sorry to disappoint, but no thanks, Eli." Clare said, shaking her head.

I didn't say anything, I just looked down at my pale hands, fidgeting with them nervously.

Clare sighed and I heard the door open,"I'll see you in school." Clare whispered before closing the door behind herself.

I groaned and laid back into my cot, mentally wanting to kick myself.

How could I have been so stupid?

Of course she wouldn't fall for me.

Of course she wouldn't tutor me anymore.

Of course she **would **know more about me than anyone else would.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I walked into my house around twelve thirty in the morning.

Darcy immediately sprung up from the sofa and marched over to me.

"Where have you been?" Darcy exclaimed, her voice soundly sisterly.

I rolled my eyes.

"Please don't tell me that you're going to act like a sister to me? For all we know this woman could be lying to us. She has no proof whatsoever that we're related." I sneered.

Darcy clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes."You're so in denial." Darcy observed while looking into my eyes.

I gasped and shook my head.

"Oh, you mean like you were not even an hour ago?" I argued.

"Clare. You shouldn't be so sure that she doesn't have proof. Just give her a listen. Lets just listen her out and then we can determine if we're actually adopted." Darcy offered.

I sighed and uncrossed my arms, letting them dangle at my side.

"Fine." I paused and looked up at Darcy. "But, related or not, I know I'll always be the same to you, Darcy. Just another charity case. Just another orphan. Finding out this story won't do anything for our relationship." I whispered before brushing past her and walking upstairs to my room.

I closed my door and sighed heavily, sitting down on my plush bed and lightly stroking the comforter.

The memory of Eli coming into my room all those months ago came back into my mind quickly.

The way he was genuinely worried over me, made me go warm inside.

I missed him to say at the least.

But I wasn't going to fall for him more than I already have.

* * *

_Adam's Point of View:_

I sat on the edge of Drew's bed.

It seemed like it had been forever since I've stepped foot into Drew's bedroom.

Sure it reeked of weed and other drugs, but it was still his room.

Had his own personal touches along the room, trophies, medals, awards.

But he also had pictures of Alli and Fiona by his bedside table, which just made me sigh.

Fiona was now a angel though, she completed the trail to that faster than I had done, which was pretty remarkable considering the trail to be a angel.

Now she just has to find her own person to guard and can't seem to find one.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Drew start to cry on the other side of the bed, his strangled cries paining my heart.

"_She's not that far away from us, Drew. She practically saved your life. Now just go to Eli's house and talk to Cece. Forgive her for what she did to Eli. Thank her for saving your life." _I told Drew.

Drew sat up, wiping tears off his face and he shook his head, facing me.

"No.. I can't. I've gone months-"

I groaned loudly and stood up.

"_Without her help or anyone's help, right? You say that over and over again, Drew. But do you ever think that anyone believes that? You always say that you're doing fine, great even, when its evident that you're __**not **__okay. So just STOP, okay? Just stop refusing help from people who freaking care about you! Stop trying to live your own life, when you don't have to, Drew. Stop trying to be an adult, when you're just a kid like me." _I felt tears sting in my eyes. _"You take drugs to feel better about things you don't have anymore, when they are right in front of you. Stop pretending that you're fine, because both me and you know that you are __**not **__fucking fine." _I said through clenched teeth.

Drew looked at me in clear shock and then he dropped his head and the tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"I'm.. I'm not okay, okay? I'm not fine.. I'm far from fine.. I'm messed up." Drew drifted off.

I soon felt the tears rush down my cheeks as well, even though they were non existent, I could feel them.

"I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this, Drew. Really I am. But I'm not gonna sit around and watch you throw away your life anymore." I whispered, looking down at my shoes.

"What? You're.. You're leaving me? No! Please, Adam! Please don't!" Drew exclaimed quickly.

Drew then looked up at me with sad eyes.

"Please.. I need you, Adam." Drew whispered.

"I've tried so many times, Drew. Over and over again I've tried to help you, but you just won't listen to me. If I can't get through to you.. Then only one person can." I said softly, looking into Drew's hopeless eyes.

"I don't want anyone else, Adam! I want you, you're my brother. I can't lose you again.." Drew said hopelessly.

I sighed and started fumbling with my hands.

"Eli needs a guardian angel just as much as you need one." I said glumly.

Drew's face showed clear shock.

"You're gonna be Eli's guardian angel?" Drew asked.

I sighed heavily and looked up at Drew.

"I'm sorry, bro." I looked over at Fiona's diary which was laying on Drew's bed.

"Maybe she can help you get through this, Drew. Maybe she can help you realize all that you can have." I murmured.

Drew's eyes followed my gaze."Fiona?" Drew whispered. I nodded."I love you, Drew. You're my brother and I'll always love you. Don't forget that." I told Drew.

"Will I ever see you again?" Drew asked with wide eyes filled with hope.

I shrugged and smirked."I don't know. Guess we'll just see what happens." I teased, a clear smile on my face.

Drew chuckled through the tears.

"I love you, Adam." Drew whispered.

I nodded and tried to pat Drew's shoulder, only to see my hand go through, we both looked at my hand disappointingly.

"Take care? Please?" I asked of Drew.

"I can't promise anything, Adam. But please try to get the old Eli back. Please?" Drew asked.

I smiled before slowly fading away from Drew.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I sighed heavily and looked over at the couch where Jenna was sitting at, filing her nails.

"Hey.. Since you have Ms. Dawes. Do you think you can teach me the lesson I missed today?" I asked Jenna.

Jenna looked up at me and started laughing."Funny babe. Real funny. Like I paid attention in that old bat's class." Jenna scoffed as she returned to filing her nails.

I groaned.

"Then why are you even here then, Jenna? You aren't even paying attention to me." I sneered in her direction.

It was the truth, the whole time she's been here, she's been on her pretty ass filing her nails or fixing her makeup.

Not even paying one speck of attention to her injured boyfriend.

Times like these I ponder about breaking up with her.

"Oh that's right!" Jenna exclaimed as she fished through her purse, grabbing her phone and walking over to me.

"Your little posse of boys didn't believe that I visited you in the hospital, so they asked that I prove it and get you on the phone." Jenna informed me.

"Like.. As in Drew too?" I asked hopefully.

Sure I was still a bit upset at Drew, but I always hoped he was worrying over me.

Caring at the least.

Jenna snorted.

"Yeah right. He's been super out of it lately. Without you, the poor stoner is no one." Jenna said with a smile.

"Oh.." I said disappointingly. "Well.. Put them on speaker. KC and them." I told, Jenna.

Jenna quickly dialed, KC's number and put the phone on speaker.

"What the hell do you want, Jenna? You better have a damn good reason, me and the guys are at a bar." KC scowled.

"The bar?" Jenna asked, she paused and suddenly a smile creeped on her face. "Fake I.D's?" Jenna asked.

"Yep." KC groaned from the phone. "Now the reason you called..?" KC trailed off.

I took the phone from Jenna and did my best happy impression.

"Hey dude." I said.

"No way!" KC explained. "Guys! Its Goldsworthy! He's on the phone, bros!" KC told the guys before returning to the phone. "What happened bro?" KC asked.

"Dude is it true that you got your ass beat during a fight and that's the reason you're in the hospital?" Owen asked.

"What the hell? The rumor I heard was that you and some chick got drunk at some party and you got into some car accident in that damn hearse of yours." Fitz said.

"I heard you scored with some chick who gave you an STD, dude." Dave said, adding a drunken chuckle at the end.

I looked up to see Jenna give me a death glare after hearing Dave's words."Uh, its definitely not the last one." I clarified.

"Then what the hell man? You've been missing way too much school bro. If this keeps up, Simpson is going to hold your ass back." KC scoffed.

"I know. I'm sorry dude. I get out of this place tomorrow, but its going to be hard to get around the school and try to pass and whatnot." I said softly.

"Why the hell would it be hard to get around dude? You're suppose to be here for football tryouts, you said you'd try out for next year, bro." Fitz said.

"Tell the coach I won't be able to make football for next year.." I paused and sighed heavily. "Tell him the reason I can't ever play is because I need to go to therapy.. Because I'm paralyzed." I confessed.

"WHAT?" Jenna shouted, her face in clear shock.

Well this was certainly interesting.

* * *

_Darcy's Point of View:_

I sat down at the kitchen table, I looked up at the clock that read, one am.

Thank the Lord that it was a Friday today, I couldn't be able to even go to classes tomorrow.

I looked over at Clare who was standing by the fridge, she was looking at Helen who was looking out the window and the back down at her shoes.

"Tell us about them.. Our parents." I blurted out without thinking.

Helen sighed heavily, she paused for a moment and turned around, facing them."I knew them. I knew them very well." Helen murmured.

"Well then.. Can you tell us about them then? Our father and mother?" Clare asked in a small voice."Yes.. Please take a seat in the living room. I'll explain everything to you guys. About how you guys ended up here.. Together." Helen said softly.

I nodded and walked into the living room with Clare on my heels, we sat on the sofa, Helen sitting on the sofa opposite of ours.

Helen took a deep breath and started her story,

"Well it all started when I was married to your father, Randall. Well.. We found that I couldn't have kids.." Helen drifted off.

I knew that this story was to be a long one.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"How the fuck did you end up paralyzed, dude?" Owen shouted.

"Uhm.." I didn't know what to tell them.

What kind of lie could I use here.

"An explanation would be nice, Eli!" Jenna exclaimed from beside me.

Then I quickly used the first excuse I could think of."I was shot." I said quickly, looking at Jenna's shocked face. "Yeah.. You guys know how Drew is into drug dealing and shit right?" I said, staring at the glittered phone.

"Ugh. You got involved with that business bro? I thought we were all gonna try it at the same time, dude!" KC groaned.

What the actual fuck. Was KC being serious right now?Or was that just his natural stupidity?

"Oh sorry man.. Its just that.. When Drew did it.." I paused. "I just had to." I lied smoothly.

"Hey don't sweat it bro. We've still got plenty of times to try that shit. What sucks is that you can't walk, dude." Dave said sympathetically.

Before I could even respond back to Dave, Jenna groaned.

"How could you not tell me something like that? I'm your girlfriend, Eli! I deserve to know whether you can walk or not!" Jenna exclaimed.

I looked at her confused."I'm sorry?" I said confused.

Jenna made a angry sound and then marched from the room.

"Is she finally gone? Can we talk about you and the ladies now, man?" Owen asked with a laugh.

"Eh.. No chicks. Not recently anyway. I'm in the hospital bro." I said looking around the room."What about that new girl? That one chick in our English class? I heard her asking Ms. Dawes for your homework today, dude." Fitz asked.

"You mean, Clare? The nerdy freak? She visits you?" Dave asked while laughing. "How's that for a hot chick." Dave added.

I looked down at the phone strangely."You guys think.. You guys think she's hot?" I asked slowly.

"Eh. She can be. She's just too smart. And she hangs out with the wrong people." KC said.

"Hah, but Eli doesn't see her that way, right Eli?" Owen said with a chuckle. "Eli practically hates Clare's guts." Owen said.I chuckled nervously."Ye-Yeah. I hate her.. I practically hate the girl.." I drifted off.

Oh God.. I hope they didn't hear the way I said that, I lost my cool for a second.

It didn't sound real.

But then again.. What ever is real anymore?

* * *

Please lots of reviews guys! Remember I wanna get to 300 reviews on this story! :D


	21. Falling Asleep With You

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Hey guys.. Why don't we you know, mess with her a little." KC suggested with a chuckle.

I quickly looked down at the phone surprised.

"Mess with, Clare?" I asked, I paused a little. "Guys.. Don't you think I've given her enough already?"

"Uh no! If anything you've been super easy on, Clare than you have to other girls." Owen exclaimed.

I sighed heavily before speaking."I'm not gonna do it guys. I'm done messing around with her." I confessed.

"What's with the change of heart, bro? You just said that you can't stand her." Fitz asked confused.

I sighed and continued to lie,

"I mean I just can't anymore, there isn't much I can do in a wheelchair anyway guys." I said.

There was a pause at the other end of the phone,

"Actually.. There is a lot more you can do." Dave said.

At that moment I felt my heart drop, of course they would find some sort of loop hole throughout this. Clare just couldn't catch a goddamn break anymore.

If anything, I just wanted her to not deal with these assholes.

If anything, I just want her to pretty much not deal with me.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

I found myself walking along a familiar road.

Memories flashing back to when I would sneak down this familiar road to see him.

The endless fits of giggles and loud cackles echoing in the memories.

I smiled to myself as I found myself in front of his home.

Drew's home.

The house still stood two stories high, with its white brick.

The flowers still bloomed a pretty red and blue around the house, Audra must still do her gardening thing.

As I walked along the path leading to the front door, I looked around the front porch, remembering how Audra and Omar had taken pictures of me and Drew when Drew had asked me to the big winter dance.

I smiled at the fond memory as I knocked quickly on the front door.

A few moments later I found Audra standing before me, a grimace on her face.

"Can I help you?" Audra sneered.

Of course Audra would only blame me for her son's behavior.

I longed for the days when she liked me for making Drew happy.

Now she just glares and sneers in my way.

"I uhm.. I wanna see Drew." I stammered, looking down at my shoes.

Audra huffed and walked up the stairs, after a few minutes, she came back down to retrieve me.

"Drew said you can go up to his room. No funny business or I'll have the police come and take you off our property." Audra said lowly.

I nodded my head feverishly before bounding up the stairs.

As I walked down the familiar hall I passed by Adam's room, I stopped and stared at his closed door.

There was a **STOP! DON'T ENTER. **sign on his door, I smiled remembering his little quirks.

My smile fading as I remembered he no longer was here, his quirks and personality gone as his body.

I sighed and proceeded down the hall to Drew's room, before I even knocked Drew opened the door.

"What the hell do you want, Alli?" Drew scoffed, crossing his arms across his burly chest.

I placed my hands on my hips and looked him in the eye seriously."I came here for Fiona's diary. I know you took it and I want it back." I said firmly.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

"I was devastated. Both Randall and I had wanted children badly. We considered adoption, but the wait was too long, five to ten years before adopting a child and receiving the child. I about gave up hope, Randall and I were getting into arguments and fights constantly. We got to the point where Randall never really came home anymore. I suspected a affair going on, but I never questioned him." Helen explained, taking a deep breath.

My heart was beating faster and faster, something worse was coming our way in the story.

"Eventually, Randall and I split up, he never came home one day and a couple months later, I received a divorce paper in the mail asking for my signature. Randall had explained he was indeed having an affair with a woman named Margaret. Randall said that Margaret could have children unlike myself, he said they were expecting a child, a girl." Helen said, she looked over at Darcy.

I looked at Darcy and Darcy had sat frozen, unable to speak.

Helen then continued on with the story.

"I tried to date men here and there, but it wasn't the same. I was depressed and lonely, all I wanted was a husband and children. That's all I ever wanted. Years continued to pass and eventually I received a phone call. It was from an adoption agency. They told me that Randall and Margret had been killed in a car accident and their daughters were at the adoption agency." Helen explained.

My heart dropped and I looked at Helen who was staring at both me and Darcy.

"Our.. Our parents were Randall and Margret?" Darcy choked out.

Helen raised a hand and continued to speak.

"The next morning I went to the agency and spoke with the agent, she told me my name was on the will of Randall and Margret's to adopt their daughters, Darcy Sofia and Clare Diana." Helen told us with a small smile.

"Although there was a mishap." Helen whispered, looking over at me.

"They didn't have you at the agency, Clare. You were at a foster home while Darcy was at the agency." Helen murmured.

I couldn't speak.

I couldn't say anything.

I couldn't comprehend this madness.

"I asked if they could bring Clare back, but it was too late, you were in some foster home in Vancouver while Darcy was here in Toronto. Thus, I adopted Darcy when she was four years old. Oh.. I still remember little Darcy sitting there in the chair, holding a broken Barbie in her hand and saying all the words she knew." Helen reminisced with a smile.

I let out a snort and looked over at Darcy who had a huge smile on her face.

"Darcy eventually grew up to know me as her mother, all traces of Randall and Margret gone from her memory. Although, I always wondered about you, Clare. Constantly calling the agency asking if you were up for adoption yet, you weren't though." Helen said glumly.

I sighed and looked down, fiddling with my fingers.

"That's when recently, I had received a call from the agency, they had you, Clare. Your foster parents, Thomas and Elizabeth had died in a house fire whilst you were at school. When I proceeded to adopt you, the agent had told me that you indeed have HIV." Helen whispered.

I gulped and looked up at Helen, who was staring at me with sad eyes.

"You had contracted HIV from Margret, seemed like Margret had gotten it from other men after giving birth to Darcy. The agent had told me that you had until you were eighteen to live, you could possibly make it to nineteen or twenty if you were lucky, but nothing past twenty." Helen admitted.

I nodded my head.

I had already known this, I knew I had gotten HIV from my mother, but I always thought it was from Elizabeth, not Margret.

We all sat there in silence, Helen's words eating at us.

"So.. That's why you hated it so much when I bashed on, Clare. Because we were actually sister and sister." Darcy asked Helen.

Helen nodded and looked at both of us.

Darcy stood up before me, her eyes holding regret and sadness.

"Clare.. I..I-" Darcy was quickly cut off by me hugging her tightly, my arms wrapped around her neck and my face burrowed in her shoulder.

Darcy wrapped her arms around my waist and held me close.

"I'm so sorry." Darcy murmured in my ears, I could feel her tears run down her cheeks as well.

I actually had family.

All this time I believed I was alone.

That I was alone from the time that Thomas and Elizabeth had died.

But now I knew that I had a sister.

I had someone.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

After I finished talking with KC, Owen, Fitz and Dave, I hung up Jenna's phone and held it out to her waiting hand.

I could even tell by her face that she was still pissed I hadn't told her about my situation."Here." I said glumly, placing the phone in Jenna's awaiting hand.

Jenna shoved the phone in her bag and slung it across her shoulder, she looked at me as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Anything _else _you'd like to tell me before I go?" Jenna sneered.

Of course, she's still obviously pissed.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed."Come on, Jenna. Get over it already." I scoffed, looking up at her with serious eyes.

Jenna threw her arms in the air exasperated.

"Get over it? You're PARALYZED, Eli! How can I possibly get over that?" Jenna exclaimed loudly.

Then reality hit me.

Of course Jenna wouldn't be able to get over this, her boyfriend was paralyzed.

Any girl would be angry or worried over that.

I just looked down and started fiddling with my IV in my hand.

"You're not going to be able to drive me around, or see me cheerlead or walk to me class.. You're not going to be able to go parties. So many things are going to change now, Eli. I don't like change." Jenna murmured, her eyes hold seriousness as she spoke.

Then suddenly, I remembered Clare's words to me.

"_Just because you're not gonna be able to walk doesn't change you as a person, Eli. You'll still be the same guy in your heart. Not able to walk won't change that." _Clare had told me nights ago.

I looked up at Jenna and sat up straight.

"Just because I can't walk doesn't change who I am, Jenna. I'm still your boyfriend. I'm still the guy you love. I'm not gonna change heart wise." I explained to Jenna.

Jenna scoffed and looked at me like I was crazy.

"That nerd is filling your head with nonsense isn't she?" Jenna asked crazily.

I groaned loudly.

"For the last fucking time, her name is, _CLARE. _Not nerd. Not freak. Just Clare. Stop calling her a nerd for just being smart. Maybe if you had half the brain she does, then maybe guys would give you the time of day, Jenna!" I exclaimed annoyed by her antics and name calling.

Jenna looked at me oddly and took a step back from me.

"What the hell has gotten into you, Eli? Where the hell is all of this coming. You're basically saying that you'd choose her over me." Jenna accused with a sour face.

You know, when I actually thought about it.

When I actually thought about choosing Clare over Jenna.

It made actual sense.

In a situation of where I was forced to choose Clare or Jenna.

In a heartbeat, I'd choose Clare.

"You know what, Jenna? I _would _choose Clare over you." I sneered in Jenna's direction.

If steam could come out someone's ears, they would come out of Jenna's.

"If this is what that stupid nerd is turning you into, tell her that she better watch her fucking back." Jenna spat before turning on her heel and leaving the room in a huff.

"Fuck." I mumbled as I leaned back into my pillows.

I had gotten Clare into some deep shit.

"What had I gotten Clare into?" I asked myself.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I groaned loudly."I don't have, Fiona's diary." I lied whilst rolling my eyes.

"You're lying." Alli accused, her small face scrunched up.

"I don't have time for this." I mumbled before shutting the door in her face.

Not even five seconds later I heard a rap at the door.

"Open up." Alli demanded.

I sighed and grabbed a bag of weed off my dresser and opened the door, waving the bag in front of Alli's face.

"Will _this _get you to leave?" I asked teasingly.

"That's not funny, Andrew." Alli spat using my full name, she grabbed the bag of weed and threw it on my bed before marching in and looking around. "Now where is the diary?" Alli asked again.

I shrugged.

"I really don't have time for this, Alli. Honestly, I don't." I told her.

Alli sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Hey, on my way here, I saw that Eli's house was blocked off, yellow caution tape and everything. Do you know what happened?" Alli asked in a feeble attempt to change things around.

I gulped and looked at Alli, not wanting to inform her that Bullfrog had accidentally killed himself by falling on his own knife, so instead I grabbed the bag of weed off my bed and shoved it far in my dresser drawer.

"Come on, Drew. Tell me." Alli pleaded.

"Why do you want to know anyway? You don't care about, Eli." I sneered at Alli.

Alli sighed.

"Clare does. Clare should know. I'll tell her." Alli finally said. I snorted.

"Of course Clare should know. Clare just shouldn't get involved with the shit Eli's in." I muttered to myself.

"She's already involved enough, Drew." Alli whispered. I sighed and spun around, facing Alli.

"His dad is dead okay? He tried to attack me while I was there. Cece winded up saving me and now has to deal with all of that shit." I explained briefly, not wanting go into detail about it all."Oh.." Alli murmured, looking off into a different direction."And the funny thing is, Cece didn't care that I had called her so many awful things before. She still saved me and treated me like a son. I just don't get it." I said softly.

Alli smiled a bit at me.

"She's a loving woman, Drew. She loved Adam. She'll love you." Alli whispered.

I rolled my eyes."Of course you wouldn't understand, you'd change this into some love fest." I muttered.

Alli looked at me confused.

"All I did was smile, Drew. You know 'smiling'? The thing you do when you're happy?" Alli said.

I didn't say anything, I just started picking up things around my room and shoving it in my closet or under my bed.

"Of course you don't know how to smile, you forgot how to smile since you're life became oh so sad." Alli sneered.

I looked at her and dropped the clothes in my hands."What?" I asked her confused.

Alli stood up and headed for the door."You know what? I'm leaving. But you go ahead and keep Fiona's diary. Maybe when you see the stuff she wrote about you in there, you'll realize how much of an asshole you've changed into." Alli spat.

With that, Alli quickly left my house with the click of her heels.

I picked up Fiona's diary which was under my pillow and I flipped through it, seeing all her writing, but I had caught my name in there a couple times as well.

* * *

_Darcy's Point of View:_

I carefully knocked on Clare's bedroom door while holding a glass of water and a couple pills in my other hand.

"Clare?" I asked softly as I opened the door slowly.

I noticed Clare lift her head up to show her sweaty red face.

She was obviously having another one of her moments.

"I uh.. I heard you coughing and I thought I'd bring you your pills." I murmured nervously as I held them out for her to take.

"What are you doing?" Clare asked with a small weak smile.

"Don't laugh at me!" I said with a chuckle as I looked at Clare. "I wanna be that big sister I never tried to be." I whispered.

Clare didn't say anything, she just stared at the pills in my hand.

"You know.. If you let me." I paused. "I'm sorry for everything that I've done. How I've treated you was horrible. I wanna start over on the sibling relationship." I smiled genuinely down at Clare. "What do you say?" I asked softly, biting my lip.

Clare then grabbed the water and pills from my hands, she swallowed the pills with some water and looked up at me with a smile.

"I say this water isn't cold enough." Clare teased.

I chuckled.

"Thanks." I said softly.

"Sure." Clare said with a smile as she placed the water on her end table.

As I walked towards the door, I looked back at Clare.

"Goodnight." I whispered.

Clare looked at me and smiled.

"Goodnight, Darce."

As I left the room, I ran into Helen.

"I think its great you're giving it another chance." Helen murmured.

I shrugged.

"I don't wanna be the bad guy.. Or sister." I whispered looking down."Oh honey. You're not." Helen whispered.

"Yeah.." I said awkwardly as I backed away from Helen. "Goodnight, Helen." I said before walked quickly down the hall and into my own room.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I quickly woke up to the sound of something falling and hitting my floor, I looked down to see that my phone was vibrating and had fallen, I picked it up and without seeing who was calling me, I answered.

"Hello?" I asked drowsily.

"Uh.. Hey Clare." Eli replied nervously.

Eli was calling me.

Although, why would he cal me at four in the morning?

"Uhm.. Why are you calling me?" I asked.

"I called to warn you to watch out for my group of friends at school.. Okay?" Eli warned.

I sighed and rolled my eyes."Why is your little group of snobs mad at me now? What did I do wrong this time?" I asked.

"I'm just saying." Eli said, and then paused. "Just watch your back okay?" Eli warned yet again.

I looked at the phone confused, but shook my head.

"Uh.. Okay then. Thanks?" I said confused.

"Yeah.. And uhm.. Can you do me a favor, Clare?" Eli asked.

I nodded.

"Sure. What is it?" I asked.

I heard Eli chuckle nervously.

"If it isn't too much to ask.." Eli trailed off.

I laughed at his nervousness.

"Just spit it out, Eli." I told him.

"Will you stay on the phone with me, until I fall asleep?" Eli asked in a small voice.

I smiled widely and didn't say anything to his question.

"I'm sorry. That was too much wasn't it?" Eli asked exasperated.

I giggled to myself.

"No it wasn't, Eli. Of course I'll stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep." I told him while I laid down on my bed.

The night continued as me and Eli had a long conversation on the phone.

I guess you could say, I was pretty darn happy.

* * *

Sorry for making this late guys!

I had started a roleplay on tumblr and I was wondering if any of you wanted to be in it?

Here's the link~

h t t p : / / b e h i n d c l o s e d o o r s r p . t u m b l r . c o m /

If the link doesn't show up on here and you wanna check it out, just message me and I'll send the link. (: (just take out the spaces when you google search it)

Remember I want to get to 300 reviews!


	22. Becoming Unraveled

_Eli's Point of View:_

"God.. I sounded like such a girl for asking that." I said embarrassed into the phone.

I soon heard Clare's giggle on the other end."No, you don't, Eli. You sound _brave _for asking. Not many guys would ask that." Clare informed me.

I smiled at bit at her words, not many guys would ask that, was that her little imply that I wasn't like most guys?

That only made me grin even more.

"Well.. Thanks anyway, Clare." I thanked her.

"I'll probably fall asleep before you, so don't thank me yet." Clare confessed to me, and if I was probably with her at this moment, she'd have a clear smirk on her face.

I chuckled at her words and sighed in a dream like state.

"I can't wait to go home tomorrow." I murmured.

There was a pause.

"Home with your.. Mom?" Clare asked softly, realizing that Cece was a touchy topic.

Despite that Cece was a touchy topic, I figured that I wasn't going home with her, I always figured that Bullfrog would have had some sort of way to come back without any police involved and take me home.

Take me home only to try to take me out of this world.

"What?" I asked her curiously.

"Well, I talked to Alli today. She told me about what happened with Drew and your mom. Alli had told me that Drew went to your house to get away from his, and your dad found his way back, he almost killed Drew if it wasn't for your mom, Eli. Your dad is dead." Clare explained in a hush voice.

It seemed like time stood still.

Bullfrog was.. Dead?

No.. that was simply impossible.

He couldn't possibly be dead, he.. He never seemed to be the one to die.

"You didn't know did you?" Clare asked in a small voice.

I didn't respond as I was still trying to wrap the idea of Bullfrog being dead around my mind."I'm sorry, Eli. About your dad and telling you. I know that despite everything he did to you, you loved him, I shouldn't have told you, your mom should have, I feel bad." Clare said quickly.

I sighed.

"Don't worry, Clare. I'm _glad _you told me, knowing Cece, she wouldn't have spilled the beans until later. Thanks for telling me." I thanked her.

Clare mumbled a quick 'you're welcome' before silence taunted us.

"What are you thinking?" Clare asked quietly.

I sighed heavily and ran a hand through my un brushed and tousled brown hair.

"I'm thinking about Cece, about going home _with _her. I was so excited to go home, but then.. It hit me that now that Bullfrog is gone, Cece is the one to take care of me.. And I'm not too happy with that. How in the hell am I suppose to handle her being there, Clare?" I asked her.

"If I had the answer, I'd tell you in a heartbeat, Eli." Clare whispered.

It seemed like minutes had gone by before I spoke into the phone.

"Clare?" I asked.

"Mhm." Clare mumbled, half asleep.

I smiled to myself.

Suddenly I found myself nervous as I began to speak,

"You know.. I never got to thank you for coming here and visiting me. The only other people who even visit me, are Jenna and Drew and when they come.. They don't even care really." I paused and sighed. "I'm so over the whole bullying you thing, it was immature and I acted like a jackass." I stopped my sentence before taking a clean breath of air. "I don't wanna be your enemy anymore, Clare." I murmured.

I waited a minute after talking for her response, but I heard nothing.

"Clare?" I asked again.

Soon I heard a light snore on the other end of the phone, I chuckled to myself."Well, goodnight.. And sweet dreams." I whispered, before hitting the end button on my phone and leaning back into my pillows with a huge most likely goofy smile on my face.

Its what Clare tends to do to me

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I woke up to the annoying beeping sound of my alarm clock, groaning, I turned over and slapped it off.

As I sat up and rubbed my eyes, I noticed my cell phone laying on the end table, not charged, I reached over and pressed the end button, realizing that I hadn't turned it off last night during my conversation with Eli.

**Call ended: 8 hours and 27 minutes ago.**

I blushed at my own pure embarrassment of not shutting my phone off _and _falling asleep before him.

I swung my legs over my bed and groaned, realizing it was just another day of school.

Another day wasted.

Despite my depressed thoughts of school, I got up and started dressing and getting ready for school.

I looked back over at my end table to see the same blank spot on my end table.

I sighed.

My snow globe was _still _missing after all these months, but the thought of Eli having it didn't worry me much, I figured if he needed it, he could have it.

I actually found the thought of him owning my snow globe, cute.

I smiled to myself as I continued to get dressed.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I woke up to feel of someone's hand shaking my shoulder lightly, I opened my eyes to see my nurse standing above me with a small smile on her porcelain face.

"Come on, sweetie. Wake up. You get to go home today." Jillian said with a smile.

I sat up groggily and started rubbing my eyes as Jillian started checking my machines and charts.

"Do you know who's coming to pick you up today?" Jillian asked with a small smile still on her face.

I looked at her, saying nothing.

No one was coming to pick me up today, that was pretty obvious.

Jillian's smile faded as she realized that no one was coming to get me.

"No one's coming to get you, sweetie?" Jillian asked softly.

Before I could respond to Jillian with a sad 'yes', I heard footsteps enter the room.

"Hey, sorry we're late." Clare said with a smile as she entered the room with Darcy behind her.

I looked at them wide eyed and a smile creeped up on my face.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked surprised as I felt Jillian start taking the machinery off of me.

"We're coming to take you home." Darcy said with a sweet smile on her face.

I felt my smile turn into a wide grin."Seriously?" I asked.

Darcy nodded and looked over at Clare.

"It was all Clare's idea this morning." Darcy said, nudging Clare.

I looked at Clare, smiling lightly at her blushing and embarrassed face.

"Thank you." I told her softly.

Suddenly more footsteps entered the room and I noticed Cece had bustled in.

"Sorry, I'm late." Cece said breathlessly as she came through the door.

"Mrs. Goldsworthy?" Darcy said shocked.

Clare just looked at Cece and was suddenly analyzing her whole facial features and even looked back at my face,

If Clare thought this was the time to see the similarities between me and Cece, I was going to regret ever saying I'd never bully her again.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I hissed, looking at Cece surprised.

Cece smoothed out her leather jacket and sighed.

"I'm here to take you home." Cece said breathlessly.

"Uhm.. I think we should just go to school, Darcy." Clare said softly as she was still staring at, Cece.

I sighed heavily as Jillian helped me off the bed and into my wheelchair, I looked at Cece.

"If you don't mind, I'm more comfortable, riding with them." I said softly, as I looked over at Darcy and Clare.

I notice automatic hurt in Cece's eyes after I informed her.

"Oh." Cece said as she adjusted her purse strap on her shoulder.

"I'll just see you at home then." Cece said sadly, she looked at Darcy and Clare before abruptly leaving.

Clare looked at me and smiled.

"She's beautiful, she looks a lot like you." Clare complimented.

I smiled a bit at her words.

"Thanks and I know." I said softly.

Soon I felt Darcy began to push me in the wheelchair towards the door, Clare by my side.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, Eli." Darcy said as she pushed me down the hall.I chuckled and looked at the two sisters.

"Hey, aren't you guys suppose to be in school?" I asked.

"Helen allowed us to come by and get you." Darcy quipped.

"Helen?" I asked oddly, then I remembered, that was their Ms. Edwards name.

I still need to learn those two's story about this whole mess concerning the adoption and whatnot.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I walked down the main hall between classes, my ear buds in my ears as Kid Cudi blasted through the earphones.

I smiled a bit, humming along to the beats on the song, when suddenly I felt myself being shoved roughly against the lockers.

My ear buds were ripped from my ears and thrown on the ground, I looked up to see KC and Owen in front of me.

Pissed as all hell.

"You got your own best friend shot?" KC shouted, holding me against the lockers.

I looked at both of them in shock, but I stared at KC and widened my eyes in shock.

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Are those drugs fucking you up, **that **much that you don't understand what we're saying?" Owen growled angrily.

"What you're about to get is your fault for getting our own man, shot." KC sneered in my face, before quickly punching me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me as I doubled forward.

"Maybe this will teach you _not _to play with drugs." Owen scoffed.

Owen then raised his fist as if to punch me in the face, when a female voice yelled,

"HEY! STOP!"

I looked behind Owen's head to see it was Alli to cried that out.

I felt KC let go of me and give me one last swift kick in the stomach, harder than the punch.

KC bent down to eye level with me.

"Mess with him again and we'll assure you that you'll get worse." KC sneered before grabbing Owen and scattering down the hall with him.

I was still doubled over in pain when Alli reached me and kneeled down before me.

"Are you okay?" Alli asked softly.

Without saying a word, I nodded and stood up, but winced at the pain in my stomach, I was sure to have some cuts and bruises from KC and Owen.

The bastards.

Alli sighed and grabbed my hand."Come on, I'll clean you up." Alli told me as she led me outside, away from the school.

I was okay with this.

Going off away from school with a pretty girl?

Not too shabby.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"… And now we're starting over." Darcy finished off her explanation regarding her and Clare's adoption issue with a smile as she looked back to smile at Clare, who was sitting next to me.

"That's great." I said with a smirk. "I'm happy for you guys, I'm sorry about your parents though." I said with a sad smile.

"We have Helen." Clare said, and paused. "She's basically our second mom." Clare added with a sweet smile.

Quickly, Darcy changed the subject.

"Anyway, how are you feeling?" Darcy asked me, looking at me in her rearview mirror.

I shrugged and sighed.

"I don't know. I attempt every few minutes to move them.. But they just don't move." I said softly, looking down at my limp legs like they were pathetic.

They basically were.

Darcy didn't say anything, she merely sighed and continued on driving.

"Look on the Brightside." Clare said. "You can have people carry your backpack and books for you, and you have every excuse to be late to class and you can leave early for class too." Clare said with a devious smirk.

I chuckled at her devious smirk."You always know the right thing to say." I said softly.

Clare shrugged and smiled.

"It's a gift." Clare said with a pompous attitude, she then laughs afterwards.

I smiled and quickly started laughing as well.

Clare then blushed slightly and turned forward.

But for the rest of the drive, I continued to stare at her out of the corner of my eye.

Why hadn't I ever noticed that this girl wasn't just "cute" she was gorgeous?

Have I been _that _blind these past months to not even notice how much of a good soul she is?

Soon Darcy stopped in front of my house and I gulped at seeing Cece's car parked behind Morty's.

"Uh, Clare. I'm gonna take, Eli inside. You just stay in here, okay?" Darcy told Clare, Clare nodded and smiled at me and giving me a wave before Darcy helped me into my wheelchair.

As Darcy pushed me up the walk and up the new ramp which was installed into the porch, much to my dismay, Darcy finally stopped pushing me at my front door.

I slowly spun my wheels so I faced, Darcy and smiled.

"Thanks Darce, for all that you've done today, I appreciate it a lot." I thanked her.

Darcy sighed and looked at me."Eli, can I ask you something?" Darcy asked.

I shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah, Darce. You know you can ask me anything." I told, Darcy.

"How have you and Clare been in contact? How did she know about your mom?" Darcy asked in a hushed voice.

I sighed at Darcy's words and looked away.

The last thing I needed was for Darcy to figure out my feelings for her little sister.

That thought pretty much was repulsive.

"Eli.." Darcy trailed off.

I faced Darcy and sighed once more.

"Okay so, she basically tutored me while I was in the hospital, that's all." I informed Darcy.

"You just don't tell your "tutor" those kinds of things, Eli. Are you sure that's all, Clare is to you?" Darcy asked seriously.

I groaned.

"What's with all the sudden questions, Darcy?" I asked annoyed.

"Because I saw the way you were staring at Clare on the ride home, Eli. You never stare at Jenna or any other girl that way, Eli. The way you stared at her.. It was something I've never seen you do, Eli. You've never stared at a girl like that." Darcy confessed to me.

"Like what?" I asked curiously.

"Like you're falling for her and you don't even know it." Darcy whispered.

"Woah Woah Woah." I said, putting my hands up. "I bully, Clare remember? I don't fall for girls, I hook up with them. I haven't even fallen for my own girlfriend and I've been dating her for a couple months now, Darcy. I am not falling for, Clare." I explained to Darcy.

"But the way you looked at her-I've never see something like that." Darcy said in a small voice.

I sighed and started bringing on more lies.

"I don't like her that way okay?" I told Darcy.

"Okay, I believe you." Darcy agreed, she paused as if a thought came over her mind, Darcy quickly said.

"You wouldn't wanna fall for her anyway."

"Why not?" I asked, more curious than ever.

Darcy sighed and looked over at Clare who was still sitting in the car.

"Clare's a beautiful girl, but there's more to her than you need to know, Eli." Darcy said in a sad tone.

I didn't say anything as I continued to stare at Clare, maybe she was something more than just a sweet girl with a big heart.

She had a secret.

Just like the rest of us.

"Plus, she's like my little sister now, so if you or any other guy hurts her, I'll kill them and you. She's been through so much.. I don't wanna see her in pain anymore, Eli." Darcy whispered painfully.

"I wouldn't hurt her." I said quietly.

It seemed like Darcy didn't hear me because she faced me and started talking about, school.

"We've got to get to school. I'll see you tomorrow yeah? I'll pick you up for school?" Darcy asked.

I nodded and focused my attention on Darcy.

"Yeah, Darce. Thanks again." I thanked her.

Darcy smiled and nodded before walking back to the car.

I sighed and rung the doorbell, I was soon welcomed by Cece who had a mixture of a hurt and happy smile on her face.

As Cece pushed me inside, memories started coming back.

Horrible flashbacks of Bullfrog.

Just his abuse to me, to Cece, to both of us.

I shook my head and closed my eyes as Cece began to talk."Eli? There's something I'd like to tell you, its important." Cece said in a small voice.

I spun my wheels and got closer to her, I folded my hands in my lap.

"What is it? Tell me." I told her.

Cece bit her lip and looked at the kitchen.

"Maybe we should talk about it during dinner.. Or tomorrow." Cece whispered.

I sighed and rolled my eyes."Just tell me now, mom. I can handle it." I told Cece.

Cece sighed and looked me in the eyes.

"I have a family, baby boy." Cece told me.

I looked at her in shock.

She'd had only been gone for what, three months and she already had a new family.

I gulped and looked at her.

"..You..You wha-what?" I stammered.

Cece smiled sadly.

"Eli, I have a husband, and we're.. we're expecting a little baby girl together, Eli. You're gonna have a baby sister." Cece said with a motherly.

I looked at her as if she was crazy.

A _husband? _Another _child? _

Was this woman on crack?

"How could you?" I told her with obvious hatred in my eyes.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I found myself being dragged too a secluded and destroyed church by Alli.

"What is this place?" I asked, looking around, seeing how destroyed and crumbled this place looked.

"It's a place me and Fiona once found, we called it the 'secret place'." Alli said with a giggle, obviously remembering the memory.

I rolled my eyes and sat down against one of the broken walls."Very original name, there." I teased.

Alli groaned as she continued to look around the destroyed church.

"Ugh, it has to be around here, somewhere." Alli moaned as she began searching through boxes.

I slowly removed my hand from under my shirt and softly winced at the blood on my hands.

"What are you looking for?" I asked, looking at Alli.

"I have a first aid kit lying around here somewhere- ah hah! Found it!" Alli said with joy as she walked over to me and kneeled in front of me, lifting my shirt up and began to rub treatment medication over the scrapes.

"Why would KC and Owen jump you?" Alli asked as she continued to rub the lotion on my stomach.

I tried my hardest to hold back a moan as I felt her hands on my stomach.

It was like a Goddess was giving me a stomach massage from the Heavens, dude.

"They told me, I got, Eli shot." I told Alli bluntly.

Alli scoffed.

"Idiots. That's impossible." Alli said with a laugh.

"How do you know?" I asked Alli.

Alli sighed.

"I was texting Clare today, her and Darcy were taking him home from the hospital today." Alli said lightly.

Soon I started to feel the medication start to burn against my scrapes and I pushed her small hands away."Enough. That's enough." I told her harshly as I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall.

Alli sighed and soon I felt her sitting next to me as well.

I looked over at her to see her with a great look of sadness in her eyes.

"What?" I asked her.

"I miss, Fiona." Alli said in a small voice as she picked up a bracelet off the ground that belonged to Fiona.

I looked at Alli for a moment, before grabbing my backpack, and pulling Fiona's diary from my bag, handing it out to Alli.

"Here." I told Alli simply.

Alli looked at Fiona's diary and then back at me.

"Why would you give it back to me after you stole it?" Alli asked.

I shrugged.

"Because you want it more than I do." I told her.

Alli shook her head and pushed the diary towards me.

"You _need _it more than I do." Alli informed me.

I sighed and looked at Alli.

"If you want.." I trailed off and paused. "We can read it together?" I offered.

"No drugs?" Alli teased jokingly.

I smiled and held my hands in the air in a surrender type way."No drugs, I promise." I promised her.

Alli nodded and took the diary from me.

"Alright, but not too many pages. I don't normally skip class to read diaries." Alli said with a chuckle.

I smiled at her.

"The same exact, Alli that I use to-" before I could finish, Alli cut me off.

"That you use to know?" Alli finished my sentence.

I didn't say anything, I looked down at the ground between my legs.

Alli sighed heavily and began going through pages.

"Lets just read, Fi's diary." Alli said softly, before nudging me, so we could begin to read, Fiona's diary together.

* * *

Here's a SUPER LONG ONE for you guys! Please continue to review so I can get to 300! :D


	23. Afraid Of Letting Go

_Clare's Point of View:_

Soon Darcy parked her car in the Degrassi parking lot, she pulled her seatbelt off, and I did as well.

Then Darcy began to look at the school from her window.

"We could sneak through the back of the school so-" Darcy began, but I quickly cut her off.

"So no one see's you walking me to class?" I mumbled, fumbling with my fingers in my lap, realizing that just because Darcy happens to be my biological sister doesn't mean that she won't treat me like one, I was sure she'd continue the same bullying method that the rest of the populars do.

Darcy chuckled and raised my chin up with her tan and freshly manicured fingers.

"So that no one see's that I'm walking you to class, _late." _Darcy corrected, her eyes showing truth.

Maybe Darcy was over the whole bullying method, that only made me smile.

This was one step forward to a better lifestyle.

I nodded swiftly at her words and exited her car with her.

We walked along the sidewalk leading to the back entrance of the school when we started to hear murmurs.

Darcy looked at me and shrugged her shoulders as we continued to walk towards the back entrance.

Although we soon came face to face with Declan talking to a girl with shoulder length reddish blond hair in primp and clearly expensive clothes with black high heels.

I looked over at Darcy to see her slowly growing envious of what was before us.

"What are you doing, Declan?" Darcy asked through her teeth.

Declan quickly turned around and faced Darcy with a shocked look on his face.

"Darcy? What are you doing here? Uhm.. Uh.. Its not what it looks like here." Declan quickly stammered as he gestured towards the primp girl besides him.

Darcy rolled her eyes.

"Save it, preppy. Hope you have fun with Holly J." Darcy spat before facing me. "I'll see you at lunch." Darcy said lowly before walking off towards the college down the street.

I looked at Declan who didn't say a word, he just slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and looked at me a forced smile.

"See you around, Clare." Declan said before walking into the school.

I looked at who I was thinking was Holly J and saw that she was shoving a small box into her purse.

"What was going on?" I asked in a small voice.

Holly J spun around and faced me, her face filled with disgust.

"None of your business, little freak." Holly J sneered as she slung her purse over her shoulder.

I felt anger rush through me as Holly J called me by one of my many popular nicknames around here.

I was not about to be called, little freak, by her.

"My name is _Clare. _Not 'freak' or 'little freak' or any other dumb nickname that's been spread around me. Now all I want to know is what you put in your purse." I said, looking Holly J sternly in the eye.

Holly J rolled her eyes.

"Why was Darcy so angry?" Holly J asked, avoiding my question.

I sighed and crossed my arms across my chest.

"Because its obvious she's jealous of what you and Declan were doing." I told Holly J.

Holly J looked at me oddly.

"Jealous?" Holly J asked, her eyebrow cocked.

I nodded, confirming that Darcy was indeed jealous.

Holly J sighed nervously and started fumbling with her gold watch around her wrist.

"And.. And what were you doing with Darcy? Why is all of a sudden a popular college student hanging around a freak like you?" Holly J sneered, her composure returning.

I felt my stomach flipped as I shook my head.

"I uh.. I need to get to class. See you around, Holly." I said softly, purposely leaving the J out to get a riot out of her, but to no avail, Holly J didn't get angry. She just simply sighed and left.

I walked briskly down the hall, dodging students as soon as the passing period bell had rung.

Dodging not only themselves, but their insults as well.

Just another part of my day.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I could feel my hands start to shake from anger as I looked at Cece's quivering body.

"Get out of my house." I said through my clenched teeth, my best at remaining calm.

Cece then started to stammer.

"But.. But you need me baby boy. You need help. You need **me.**" Cece stammered.

I rolled my eyes.

"I'd rather have my dead father around here than a mother who betrayed me." I spat in her direction.

Cece had immediate pain in her eyes once she heard my words, she nodded and grabbed her purse, slinging it over her shoulder.

"Make sure to tell Drew I still love him. Same with the rest of your friends, like Fiona or that Clare girl." Cece murmured.

I clenched my fist as she began to say my friends' names.

"Fiona's dead." I said through my teeth.

Cece stopped walking and turned around.

"What?" Cece whispered, in shock.

"There's one less kid you have to worry about." I sneered at her, feeling a bit of pain after talking about Fiona unfairly.

Cece took in a sharp intake of air before quickly turning around and running from the house.

I sighed and slowly wheeled myself into the living room.

Not even celebrating the fact that I'm living on my own now.

This was sure to be interesting.

…

I soon heard the front door slam shut and a bag slump onto the floor.

"You're here." Drew whispered from the door.

I didn't respond to Drew, not even to ask him why he was even here.

I just continued to stare into the far corner of the room, thoughts consuming my burnt brain.

"Where is she?" Drew asked as she retreated closer to me.

Knowing he was talking about Cece, I sighed and faced him.

"She's gone." I told him in a low voice.

"Again?" Drew said despairingly.

I nodded and then looked back into the corner, allowing thoughts to flow through my head again.

"Why?" Drew asked, his voice high and full of concern, which was pretty amusing considering he hates Cece.

Sighing heavily, I faced Drew again, this time, my eyes filled with tears.

"You don't wanna know." I whispered.

"Is the reason you won't tell me has to do with me being high?" Drew asked.

I looked at him filled with disgust.

"That's not funny, Drew." I spat, soon finding myself filled with anger. "Drugs aren't funny, Drew! They aren't a fucking joke!" I shouted loudly making sure to make eye contact with Drew.

Drew sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"When are you going to learn to deal with it, Eli?" Drew asked, his face showing he was bored with this conversation.

"When you learn that they're not the answer." I scowled.

Drew sighed and was starting to head upstairs, up _my _stairs.

Why was he even here?

"Why the fuck are you even here?" I asked furiously.

This asshole just thinks he can walk into my house whenever he pleases?

Oh, please.

He has another thing coming.

Drew scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"I can stay here as long as I want. Plus, the guest bedroom is way better than my bedroom." Drew said with a grin before bounding up the stairs.

With nothing I could do to stop him, I'm in a freaking wheelchair for Christ's sake, I leaned forward and placed my head in my hands, just thinking more and more about how things were sure to change.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

After a long and tiresome day at school and having to come home to deal with Darcy's recent moodiness towards me and Helen, I quickly told Helen I was going out for a walk, when I was really going to see, Eli.

I needed to see if he was okay after being dropped off to see his mom.

Also I had received a text from Drew as well, saying Eli needed someone.

I guess you can say that only made me get to his house even quicker.

I walked into his house, seeing as the door was left unlocked as always and walked up the stairs, noticing all the family pictures lining the walls, seeing Eli's chubby baby face, Cece holding him with a happy smile on her face, Bullfrog having the same smile.

They seemed happy at some point.

Now they were ruined.

I retreated to Eli's bedroom door and knocked quickly.

"Come in." Eli said through the door.

I walked into Eli's room, taking in his punk rock décor, the black walls, filled with band posters and various pieces of writing and painted pictures.

Although the room was still a bit messy with clothes strewn across the floor and drawers opened slightly and his backpack laying open on the floor.

I immediately noticed Eli laying down on his quite large bed, tossing a football up in the air and catching it swiftly.

Not dropping it once.

I smiled slightly once he noticed it was me in his room.

"What are you doing here?" Eli asked as he continued to toss and catch the football.

"Drew texted me and said you needed someone." I told Eli with a soft smile.

"And you think I need you the most out of all people?" Eli sneered, his rude demeanor returning.

I sighed and started messing around with the buttons on my white cardigan which I usually did when I was nervous.

"Well.." I trailed off, not sure of what to say to Eli.

"Because maybe I do need you." Eli murmured as he pulled himself up into a sitting position.

I felt a blush creep on my cheeks as he said that and I smiled softly.

"Thanks." I nodded and sighed, looking down at his football, rotating it in his large lanky hands.

I sat down next to Eli, feeling our arms brush up against each others, making myself blush even more.

"Still bummed you can't try out for the team?" I asked him, biting my lip.

Eli continued to look down at his football and sighed.

"My mom has another family." Eli whispered, not looking up at me while saying it.

I felt a pang in my heart as Eli said that, Cece having another family?

I could only imagine how he felt.

So thus, I didn't say anything to him.

Eli looked up at me."Just when I thought nothing could get worse." Eli murmured.

"What did you say when she told you?" I asked in a soft voice, not wanting to upset him anymore than he already was.

"Do you see her around? I told her to get lost." Eli spat upsettingly.

"And you think its wrong?" I asked him in a small voice.

Eli groaned angrily and threw his football at his desk, knocking his cup of pencils over.

"Of course it is!" Eli shouted.

I sighed and looked back at Eli.

"So your best friend deals with drugs and you deal with alcohol and anger?" I questioned him.

Eli snorted and looked at me.

"You'd be pissed too." Eli told me.

I shrugged."I try not to get mad. Life's too short to get angry over little things." I told him with a serious tone.

Eli didn't say anything for a few moments.

"So that's why whenever I-" Eli began and I sighed, knowing what he was about to say.

"Bullied me, I would ignore it." I finished off Eli's sentence with a smile.

"Then what would you do?" Eli asked, regret in his eyes.

"I'd find a way out." I said with a shrug.

"You can't find a way out of this one." Eli said glumly.

I sighed and placed a hand over his comforting, feeling his hand jump under mine, but I continued to hold his hand.

"Look, Eli. You're seventeen, you can't possibly stay here by yourself. You're in a wheelchair and you need someone to take care of you. Plus it seems like Drew is bunking with you as well, but he isn't much of help either when it comes to taking care of you." I told Eli specifically.

"What are you even getting at, Edwards?" Eli asked me.

"What I'm saying is, you're too young to handle all of this, you're gonna overwork yourself and eventually hurt yourself more than you already are. So.. I'm saying if I offered for you and Drew to come live with me, would you?" I asked in a small voice.

I notice as I'm informing Eli of it all, he doesn't say a word.

He stares at me with a blank stare.

I gulped, bracing myself for the worst.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

As I lying against my pillows, doing my biology homework, I feel my phone vibrate.

I set my homework down and open the text.

**Drew Torres: r u mad me?**

**Alli Bhandari: no.. y would u ask that?**

**Drew Torres: well after we finished reading a part of fi's diary u didn't really seem happy.**

**Alli Bhandari: maybe becuz I just finished reading a part of my dead bff's diary?**

**Drew Torres: oh.. Well I though it was becuz of me and the drugs or whatever.**

**Alli Bhandari: r u bringing up drugs rn becuz u r high rn?**

**Drew Torres: for the moment no and I don't wanna be. **

I smiled down at his text.

**Alli Bhandari: y not?**

Soon I felt my phone vibrate again, confused, I pulled my phone out to see my new text message.

**Reese Quinn: hey alli. ;) **

I sighed, realizing that the new kid Reese had asked for my number today in biology and was now just texting me.

Crap.

**Alli Bhandari: hey reese. (: **

**Reese Quinn: just wanna thank you for being my lab partner today.**

**Alli Bhandari: no problem. I just wanted 2 be nice 2 the new kid. :P **

**Reese Quinn: u can be even nicer by agreeing to having lunch with me tomorrow.**

Soon my phone vibrates again.

**Drew Torres: becuz if I was u wouldn't wanna be around me.**

**Alli Bhandari: and?**

**Drew Torres: and.. I want u 2 be around me.**

I felt my stomach leap at his words, soon my phone vibrated again.

**Reese Quinn: r u texting some1 else?**

**Alli Bhandari: yes..**

**Reese Quinn: oh.. Uh r u still up for the lunch date tomorrow tho?**

**Alli Bhandari: yeah. I'd like that reese. (: **

My phone then vibrated _**again.**_

**Drew Torres: ur texting some1 else huh?**

I groaned and shut my phone off.

I was not in the mood for this bullshit.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View: _

"I wouldn't accept that." I told Clare blandly.

"Why not?" Clare asked, a little disappointed by my answer.

I sighed and looked at her genuinely.

"Look, I'm lucky enough to have found someone who cares, but to take advantage-" I began to say, but I was quickly cut off by Clare.

"Is the best thing to do for her." Clare said, finishing off my sentence.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I don't wanna be your enemy either." Clare said in a small voice.

I found myself grinning at her.

"You heard me when I said that?" I asked.

Clare nodded and smiled.

"I wasn't fully asleep." Clare said with a smirk.

I sighed and leaned back onto my bed, soon I felt Clare lay down next to me, as she stared up at my black ceiling.

"So.. What do you say?" Clare asked in a small voice.

I looked over at Clare to see that she was staring at me with her wide blue eyes.

"You told me you'd accept my help." Clare reminded me.

I sighed heavily and nodded."Okay." I responded with a smirk.

Soon Clare's face was lit up with a huge grin.

Soon I felt her attack me with a huge hug whilst we were laying down, her arms around my neck, her face buried in my shoulder, I smiled and wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close.

Although Clare quickly pulled away, her face red with embarrassment.

"Sorry that was a bit.." Clare trailed off as she sat upright.

I chuckled and pulled myself up into a sitting position as well.

"Unexpected?" I told her with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry.." Clare apologized again with a blushing face.

"You already said that." I told her.

"I know but-" Clare began, but I quickly cut her off.

"You shouldn't be." I finished.

Clare didn't say anything as she continued to stare at me.

"You're still a mystery to me." I whispered, looking into Clare's blue eyes.

"Lets keep it that way." Clare murmured as she got off my bed.

"Why?" I asked, wishing I could stand up as well and grab her by the arm so she could tell me while looking me in the eye.

"I'm gonna go call, Helen and tell her that you and Drew are staying with us." Clare said, avoiding my question as she was about to walk out of the room.

Suddenly I remembered Jenna's warning towards Clare.

"Clare?" I asked.

"Yeah?" Clare said, spinning around to face me.

"Did anything bad happen to you today at school?" I asked her, concerned for her safety.

If Jenna had gotten a hold of her, lets just say, I would hope to be on good terms with Alli, so Alli could claw her eyes out.

Clare looked at me confused and shook her head.

"No.." Clare said, trailing off.

I sighed relieved and smiled a bit."Oh okay.. Good." I murmured.

Clare smiled a bit before walking out of my room.

And as soon as she walked out, it seemed like the happiness had left with her.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

"Yeah that's fine, honey. I'll come over soon with Darcy so we can gather the boys' things up and take them to the house." Helen said over the phone.

I smiled happily.

"Thanks, Helen. See you soon." I thanked her before pressing end on my cell phone before rushing back into Eli's room.

"So its official! We're housemates!" I exclaimed with a grin.

Eli smirked.

"And you're happy about that?" Eli asked.

I nodded.

"Yep! Basically." I said with a shy smile.

Eli looked down and smiled.

"You're a pretty cool girl, Clare." Eli complimented."Thanks. You're a pretty cool guy too." I murmured, returning the favor.

"So.. How is it.. You know living with Drew?" I asked after a awkward silence.

Eli shrugged.

"Its different. I'd like to know where he is most of the time and I'd like to have a conversation with him once in a while too." Eli confessed whilst turning his skull thumb ring around his thumb. "But other than that.. Its pretty bland." Eli whispered with a shrug.

"I'm sure he'll come around soon." I reassured Eli, but he shook his head.

"Drew's a drug addict. Drugs addicts never come around, Clare." Eli said glumly.

Soon I heard the front door slam shut.

Startled, I stood up straight and proceeded to see what caused the door to slam.

"What was that?" I asked alarmed.

"Drew. He'll be back in a couple days." Eli said nonchalantly.

"And you don't care?" I asked Eli.

Eli shook his head.

"Drew lives his own life, Clare." Eli murmured before looking down and started messing around with his dead legs.

I sighed before walking over to Eli and pulling him into another hug.

A tighter one.

One with more than just a friendly hug.

One that showed compassion and love.

I could only hope he realized what the hug meant as well as he hugged me back, holding me tightly.

As if he was afraid of letting me go.

* * *

Sorry for late update! Anyway, introduced a new character, Reese Quinn who will be taking part in the Drew/Alli storyline. ;)

Oh and don't forget to review! I do want 300 reviews! :D


	24. The Sober Truth

_Drew's Point of View: _

I trudged along the wet and soggy grass, one foot before the other as I trudged along.

When I finally made it to where I needed to be, I dropped my backpack to the damp grass and fell to my knees before a grave.

"I'm so sorry." I choked out, tears welling up in my eyes and pouring down my face. "I'm so sorry, Adam. I have no idea why I don't listen when people offer help. I don't know what made me this way, so messed up and unsocial. I can't even look, Eli in the eye without feeling like shit for what happened to him. Maybe.. Maybe if that first time I saw Bullfrog lay a hand on Eli, the first time I saw that, I shouldn't have bolted. I should have called for help. Maybe then Eli wouldn't be in some wheelchair, spiraling into a deeper depression. Maybe.. Maybe he wouldn't hate me so much." I sobbed into my hands as I hunched over Adam's grave.

I paused for a moment and lifted my head, looking around for Adam, expecting to see him around.

Watching over me.

But he wasn't.

He wasn't even here."Adam.. I.. Adam I can't do it anymore. The drugs. The whole unsocial thing. I just can't anymore. I talk to you everyday, only to see that you'll never respond back to me." I murmured.

"Mom has been neglecting me as usual. Dad's been spending more time away from us. I've basically bunked at Eli's place, but its so hard to live with him, Adam. He doesn't say anything. Ever since Cece left, he's been depressed. I lost Fiona and Eli. I can't ever open up to, Eli again, I don't know what makes me so afraid to have him back in my life." I explained in choked whispers.

"Just please come back, Adam.. I can't live like this anymore. I need someone.. I need you, Adam.. Please.." I barely whispered as I felt my stomach tie into a knot.

"_Yes you can." _A very familiar female voice whispered.

I raised my head immediately at the voice, looking around, but only seeing tree's slightly swaying and Adam's grave before me.

But that voice, I knew that voice.

I _loved _that voice.

"Fiona?" I murmured, feeling hot and heavy tears roll down my face.

Soon I saw Fiona emerge from thin air, her heavy curls flowing in the wind, as did her flower printed dress she was buried in.

Fiona then kneeled before me, her lips curling into a small smile as she looked into my eyes.

I reached out to touch her soft cheek, only to see my fingers fall through, Fiona's smile faltered and she frowned.

"Baby.. I need you." I murmured as I looked at Fiona.

I noticed as I called, Fiona baby, tears were starting to rush down her cheeks as well, non existent tears, but still, they were tears.

"Fi.. I need you back. I need you and Adam back. I can't live my life like this anymore." I whispered to Fiona.

"I'm gonna get you through this, baby. I'm gonna stop those tears and all that pain, okay? I'm gonna help you face your life." Fiona whispered as she touched my cheek, all I felt was coldness, nothing more.

I shook myself out of Fiona's hand and stood up.

"No.. You don't get it, Fiona. I'm addicted. You can't just tell me to stop. You can't take weed, cocaine, heroin or ecstasy out of my hand.. You're not real." I said in a pained voice.

"That's where you're wrong." Fiona said as she stood up. "I don't have to be real to show you how you're ruining your life with drugs. How you're pushing people who care about you aside, one by one." Fiona explained.

"Care for me?" I whispered. I quickly wiped my tears away as I felt anger boil in my veins. "Mom and Dad don't even care anymore about me! The group hates me-" I began, but Fiona cut me off with her scoff.

"What about Eli? What about, Alli? Alli was your girlfriend, Drew! The girl you loved and you.. You cheated on her and then ignored her all for drugs!" Fiona yelled.

There was a short pause.

"What about her?" Fiona whispered.

I didn't say a word as I looked down, tears falling down my face.

"You're the only one putting yourself through this, Drew. Only you can change it. Its all on you, Drew." Fiona murmured.

I looked up to see that she disappeared.

All that was left was the swaying trees and the faint smell of her favorite perfume.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

I was startled to hear the sound of quick raps on my bedroom window. I quickly stood up and pulled the curtain back to see Drew outside my window with his backpack slung over his shoulder.

Confused, I opened the window and watched as Drew crawled in through the space.

"Drew? What are you doing here?" I asked watching as he set his bag on the ground."Alli.. I just need a place to stay for a few days. That's it." Drew informed me.

I quickly shook my head.

"I can't, Drew. My parents would kill me. Sav would probably rat me out. I can't." I explained to Drew.

"Alli, please.. I need you." Drew murmured as he inched closer to me, his eyes holding the truth.

No drug high, just the truth.

The sober truth.

I didn't say anything as I stared at Drew, I watched as tears welled up in his already puffy eyes.

"I can't go home to another empty house, Alli. Please." Drew whispered.

Without even thinking twice, I reached forward and hugged Drew, pulling him into my arms."You can stay here as long as you need." I murmured in his ear as I stroked his back soothingly as I felt his tears run down my neck and onto my shirt.

We stayed that way for what seemed like forever, me holding Drew in my arms whilst he cried.

I hadn't realized how much I missed his hugs until now.

I hadn't realized how much I didn't wanna let go until now.

…

"It isn't the most comfortable place in the world, but it's still a place to sleep nonetheless." I informed Drew as I gestured towards the makeshift bed I put together on the floor.

"My mom never comes in my room anyway. So we're good for a couple days." I told Drew as I watched him plop down on his new bed.

I quickly flicked the light off and climbed into bed, pulling the covers up around me.

"You go to sleep pretty early." I heard Drew say.

"Don't make fun of me." I murmured, a smile coming across my lips.

"Don't worry, I won't." Drew said in a teasing tone.

A few moments passed."Alli?" Drew asked.

"Yeah, Drew?" I said, my eyes closed.

"Thank you." Drew whispered.

A grin flashes across my face.

"You knew I'd always be here." I murmured as I opened my eyes."I know." Drew said, he then paused. "It just took my stupidity to prove it." Drew added.

"You're not stupid, Drew." I whispered as I rolled over to look down, I saw Drew make eye contact with me, we held the contact until my phone started vibrating.

"Don't answer that, its Reese." I said quickly as I inched for my phone."Reese?" Drew asked confused. "You mean that new kid?"

I nodded as I grabbed my phone.

"What does he want?" Drew asked.

"I think he wants me. You know - as a girlfriend. He's a pretty nice guy." I told Drew as I opened my phone to answer Reese's call.

As I answered Reese's call, I looked down to Drew to see his face was set and rigid.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Thanks for letting me stay in your room, but if you want it back, you can always tell me." I told Clare as I sat down on her very girly bed as she stood before me.

"Its alright. I should let you get to bed." Clare said as she inched to flick the lights off.

But I held her gaze, looked into her eyes for some sort of way into her head.

Some sort of way to figure you out.

I noticed Clare's cheeks reddened.

"What?" Clare asked, obviously embarrassed.

I shrugged and sighed.

"No matter what, I can't seem to figure you out." I told, Clare.

Clare giggled and sat down next to me. "I'll give you one hint." Clare told me.

I smirked at her and cocked my head.

"I'll take it, Edwards." I said in a cocky tone.

Clare smiled, before it turned into a frown, making my own smirk dissolve.

"I've been hurt one too many times." Clare admitted.

I could feel a bit of anger go through me as many possibilities crossed my mind.

"Like.. By guys?" I said with a set jaw.

Clare shrugged."Just by life in general." Clare paused, "When I hear about your life, it reminds me so much of my own, Eli. As much as I hate it, its nice to know that there is someone out there that has gone through just as much as I have. Even if that someone is you." Clare whispered as she fumbled around with her bracelets.

"Hey, what's that suppose to mean?" I said in a fake-angry tone in a lame attempt to make, Clare laugh.

A lame attempt that worked.

"You know, you're really good at hiding the fact that you're not okay." I told Clare.

"You'd be surprised at how obvious it is sometimes." Clare retorted.

"Well, it isn't obvious to me. I would have never guessed that Clare Edwards had gone through as much pain as I have." I told Clare.

Clare smiled a bit.

"If this had been a couple weeks ago, I wouldn't be telling you anything." Clare admitted to me with a small smile.

"And look at where we are now. We're actually friends and I'm not such a pretentious douche bag anymore. I'm actually pretty cool." I said with a smirk.

Clare rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked, Clare.

Clare nodded.

"You can tell me anything." Clare told me.

I felt a lump rise in my throat.

"You're the only girl besides Julia who has ever gotten to know me." I confessed in a soft and small voice.

"What do you mean?" Clare asked, confused.

"Everyone says that I've hooked up with every girl at school, but that's just a lie. I've only had sex with two girls my whole life, Julia and Jenna. I loved Julia when I had sex with her, and when I did with Jenna.. It meant nothing. It was boring and plain, I hated it. But anyway - everyone at school, just says that they hooked up with me just to say 'I hooked up with Eli Goldsworthy, Degrassi's badass.' No one has ever gotten to really know me." I admitted to Clare whilst looking down."Well, at least I can tell them that you're a really cool and super nice, guy, Eli." Clare said with a smirk.

"You're really not like other girls are, you?" I asked Clare.

Clare shook her head."Nope. I'm Clare, 23 hours a day." Clare said.

"Why 23?" I asked confused.

Clare giggled.

"The last one is gonna have to cost you." Clare teased.

I found myself laughing, my stomach feeling warm and happy by just being around, Clare.

"You're really not what I expected." I told Clare with a grin.

Clare shrugged.

"I told you that you judged people too quickly." Clare told me with a raised eyebrow.

I didn't say anything to Clare.

I just continued to stare at her.

I continued to look into her blue eyes as she looked into my green ones.

Without even thinking, I started to lean in towards Clare's lips.

Clare sat still, her eyes wide, not sure what to do as I leaned in.

I was inches away from her lips when I quickly pulled back, feeling hot from embarrassment.

"Woah.. I'm sorry about that." I said with a nervous smile as I placed my hand on the back of my neck

"N-No.. Uhm.. That's fine actually, Uhm I don't know. Just uh.. Get some rest. See you in the morning." Clare stammered as she flicked the light off and headed for the door.

I nodded and got myself underneath her covers and I looked over at her heading for the door.

"Goodnight, Clare." I murmured.

Clare stopped and looked back at me.

"Goodnight, Eli." Clare murmured before leaving the room.

I felt a huge grin come across my face as I turned on my side to sleep, I was so close to kissing her, just the thought of it made me feel like a school girl.

I couldn't believe that I almost did that.

I couldn't believe, she was gonna let me.

…

"Good morning." Clare said cheerfully as she walked into the kitchen and sat down next to me. I looked over at her and smiled sweetly.

"Good morning." I replied back, I watched as Clare's cheeks pinked from remembering what almost happened last night.

Darcy tried her best to carry three bowls of cereal over to us, until Helen bustled by her and grabbed them and sliding them across the table in our direction.

"I have to go to work. Have fun at school." Helen shouted before bustling out the back door.

"Fun at school? Is that even possible?" Clare wondered aloud as she began to eat her cereal.

"Why do you say that?" I asked as I stared down at my bowl.

"Are you seriously asking the "nerd" that, Eli?" Clare asked seriously.

"No one is gonna bother you today, Clare." I told, Clare genuinely.

"Just because you're back doesn't mean things will get easier, Eli. If anything, things will get harder at school." Clare mumbled as she looked down into her cereal bowl.

I didn't say anything in response to Clare as I began to eat my cereal slowly.

"No. Eli's right, Clare. No one is going to bother you, at least, not while I'm there with you at lunch today." Darcy promised, Clare.

"No one even knows we're related yet." Clare sighed. "Come on guys, I think the three of us know you guys aren't ready to give up your popularity for me just yet." Clare explained as she stood up and grabbed her bag. "I'm not worth it anyway." Clare mumbled before exiting the kitchen.

I sighed heavily as Clare's words sunk in.

In a way, she was right, we weren't ready to give up our popularity just yet.

At least.. At least I wasn't.

"I don't wanna be the same jerk, I was, Darce. I wanna help, Clare out, but.. I'm not ready." I admitted to Darcy.

There was silence between the both of us.

"Well I am. I'm her sister. All Clare has is Alli, she's gonna need me. I'm giving up popularity at the college at with our group of friends for, Clare. Clare deserves it." Darcy said firmly.I looked at Darcy in shock.

"Darcy? Are you serious?" I asked, surprised.

"Not only that, but my grades are slipping too. With all these parties, I never have anytime for studying and doing my assignments. Plus.. Maybe if Declan see's that I'm becoming smart and studious like Holly J.. Maybe he'll take me back." Darcy said with a smile on her face.

I looked at Darcy incredulous.

"Have you lost it?" I asked Darcy.

"No. I've found it." Darcy said with a grin.

That's when I realized.

I just lost another person.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

I ducked back into my room after inspecting downstairs to see if my parents had gone to work and Sav had already left school early.

"Coast is clear. We can walk to school now." I informed, Drew.

Drew nodded and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

Together Drew and I walked to school together, shoulders brushing.

Halfway there, I looked at Drew.

"Drew?" I asked.

Drew didn't say anything, he continued to stare down at his feet as he walked.

"Why of all places did you choose my house?" I asked him, looking at him from the side of my eye.

Drew sighed and looked at me.

"If I told you, you'd think I'm crazy." Drew murmured stuffing his hands in his jean pockets.

I crossed my arms across my chest and looked at him.

"Try me." I teased him.

"Fiona told me too okay? Fiona said you'd accept me here and she was right." Drew confessed whilst looking at me.

"Excuse me while I find this hard to believe." I said in shock and confusement.

Fiona?

Drew talked to Fiona?This made no sense whatsoever.

Drew merely shrugged and continued to walk in front of me.

"Why do I find it hard to believe when that person does drugs?" I asked, Drew.

Drew stopped and turned around to face me.

"Because there is more to me than drugs. You being, Alli… You should know that." Drew said to my face.

"This is some sick joke, Drew. Joking around that Fiona's ghost has talked to you? Be mature." I spat in his face before walking around him and continued down the road to Degrassi.

Hoping to not come face to face with Drew for the rest of the day.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

As I wheeled myself through the front doors of the school, everyone in the halls went silent as they stared at me and the huge hunk of metal I was sitting on.

"Eli baby! Are you okay?" Jess exclaimed as she rushed forward to me with Sadie on her heels.

"Oh my God, do you need someone to take you to class?" Sadie asked as she gave me a once over.

I rolled my eyes in sheer annoyance, but of course, the freshman's wouldn't catch onto it.

"No, girls. I'll be fine." I reassured them.

Soon I noticed Jenna walking over in her high heels that clicked clacked with every step she took, she snapped her fingers above Jess and Sadie's heads'.

"That means leave. Now." Jenna demanded."Yeah.. I don't think so." Jess said firmly.

I groaned and sighed.

"Here we go." I muttered.

Jenna looked at Jess and Sadie in shock before gaining her composure."Excuse me?" Jenna asked, one hand on her hip."We're not leaving." Sadie said. "We have just the right to be around, Eli like you do, Jenna." Sadie added.

Rolling my eyes, I rolled myself over to my locker and tried my best to open my locker, but I couldn't reach my books on the top shelf, I was about to ask either Jess or Sadie to help me out, but soon a small petite hand reached out to grab them and set them in my lap.

Clare.

"No one's looking." Clare told me with a simple shrug as she opened her own locker.

I smiled a bit at Clare.

"Thanks. I'm sorry things have to be this way at school." I apologized lowly.

Clare shrugged again and grabbed her books from her locker."Its okay." Clare said, evidently lying. "We both have different lives. Doesn't bother me."

"You don't have to pretend, Clare. No one is looking, remember?" I reminded, Clare.

Clare quickly turned back to look at her locker.

"Your boys are coming." Clare muttered.

I quickly noticed KC and Owen walking over with a stride that made Jess and Sadie ogle at them.

"Well, well, well. Look who's back." Owen said with a smirk.

KC snorted and leaned against the locker next to Clare's.

"You know, Eli. I'm quite jealous of you." KC said with a click of his tongue.

"Why?" I asked confused.

KC was the last person to ever be jealous of me.

"Your locker is next to one of the prettiest girls in school." KC said with a smile as he looked over at Clare.

Clare closed her locker, hugging her books to her chest, she looked at KC and smiled. "What?" Clare asked.

Automatically, I understood KC's intentions.

_This _was how they were gonna mess with Clare.

They were gonna fake her out.

I could feel anger pulse through my veins at the thought of Clare being visibly upset over KC and Owen embarrassing her.

"There is no way, I'm letting you carry all those books to class." KC said as he took the books from Clare's arms. "Mind if I walk you to class?" KC offered.

Clare looked at KC confused by his intentions, but nodded."Yeah, sure." Clare agreed as she and KC walked off together, KC getting dangerously close to Clare.

As soon as KC and Clare were out of hearing distance, Owen started chortling.\

"Damn! And he wasn't even trying! This is gonna be easy and hilarious!" Owen said with laughter.

"_That _is your guys way of getting back at her? What has she ever done to you?" I exclaimed angrily.

"She got Bianca a detention." Owen said with anger in his voice.

"So what! I'm sure Bianca got that on her own! You know how your girlfriend is sometimes, Owen!" I sneered at Owen, clearly upset.

Owen scoffed and looked at he oddly.

"Calm down dude. Why are you looking out for her?" Owen asked.

Right then and there, I wanted to shout to him all my feelings.

Tell him how I feel about Clare.

Tell him how much I wanna kiss her.

Tell him how much I wanna call her mine.

But I couldn't.

I just can't.

* * *

Sorry for late addition! Whoop, almost some Eclare action there for a second there. Please review! I'm hoping to get 300 reviews. :)


	25. Preparing For The Worst

_Clare's Point of View:_

As I walked to my class with KC, of all people in the world, KC Guthrie was holding my books and walking me to my English class. "You know.. You didn't have to carry my books _and _walk me to class." I told KC nervously.

KC chuckled.

"Its my way of showing a girl that I like her." KC said casually.

Automatically I stopped in my tracks and looked at KC in shock.

"Excuse me, but what?" I exclaimed.

KC smirked.

"What?" KC asked. "Are you already taken by, Eli?" KC asked in a joking tone.

I rolled my eyes."Haha, that's very funny, KC." I told KC as I brushed past him and continued to walk to class.

Although KC caught up with me."So I'm taking that you're free on Friday night?" KC asked with a small smile.

He.. Was KC asking me out?Oh my God.. He was.

KC was asking me out.

The most popular boy in school was asking me of all people out on a date.

I tried my best not to squeal.

"Uhm.. I'm not sure. It depends." I teased KC a bit.

"Depends on what? I'm KC Guthrie." KC said with a grin.

"The reason that you're randomly into me." I told KC, feeling my happiness go down as that thought processed through my mind.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I could feel anger overtake me at not only Owen's stupidity, but at the fact that him and KC were messing around with Clare.

"Because she's a person! You don't just mess around with her, Owen! She has feelings you know!" I yelled at him aggravated at him.

"What the hell happened to you man? Whatever happened to 'I can't practically stand her?' Now its like you're her friend or something. What the fuck happened?" Owen asked.

"I grew up. You should try it someday too." I sneered.

Surprisingly Darcy walked towards us, I was sure she was already at her college by now.

"Hey guys. What's going on?" Darcy tried to ask casually even though she could feel the tension in the air.

"Nothing. Just - Can you take me to class, Darce." I asked lowly. Darcy nodded and grabbed the back of my wheelchair and began to push me to English class, leaving Owen behind, with a dumber look on his face than he began with.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

"So.. After school. Can we meet up here and walk home together?" I asked Alli as we made it to the front of the shook her head and faced me."I'm actually going to be helping the band kids after school. You can go ahead and go home." Alli said.

I didn't say anything to Alli's response, I just looked down at my torn shoes.

"Yeah.. Uhm, I'll just see you later." Alli said awkwardly as she began to turn the other way and walk into Degrassi.

I grabbed Alli by her arm and pulled her back.

"What if.. What if I stayed and helped you out after school?" I offered to Alli.

Alli shook her head slightly.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Drew. I'm sure you wouldn't wanna be there anyway." Alli said softly.

I looked at her and awaiting for more input to why I wouldn't wanna be there.

"Plus I'm sure you have to buy and sell anyway. So I don't wanna get in the middle of that." Alli mumbled as she turned to walk inside again.

I felt anger pulse through my veins as the words spilled from Alli's mouth.

I tightened my grip around Alli's arm and pulled her back to where her face was inches from mine.

"Would you stop saying that? I'm trying to stop them!" I shouted at Alli.

"Ow! Drew, you're hurting me!" Alli yelped as she tried to wiggle through my grasp.

But I was so angry, I didn't let go of her, I held on tighter, holding onto her tighter, only hearing her yelp even louder."Get away from her." A deep voice growled in my ear, someone grabbed me by my collar and pulled me away from Alli.

Whoever this guy was approached Alli and held her arm where I had grabbed her, there was a large hand print there, red and a bit bruised.

"Are you okay?" The guy asked in a low voice.

"Yeah, Reese. I'm fine." Alli barely whispered as she looked back down at her arm and then up at me.

"Come on. I'm walking you to class." Reese murmured as he wrapped his arm around Alli's shoulders and led her carefully into the school.

I groaned and kicked at a sign pole in frustration. I hadn't meant to hurt, Alli. I was just so angry, now she probably thought I was some abuser if not only drugs, but of women too.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

"I already told you. You're one of the prettiest girls in this school. I just had to get to know you." KC said soothingly as he reached out, tucked a piece of my curly hair behind my ear, sending chills down my spine at his unknown touch and then dragging his hand lightly down my chin as he smiled. "So what do you say? Dinner and a movie? I don't bite, I promise." KC added with a smirk.

At this point, I couldn't refuse, KC.

He was so cute, so charming, so unlike, Eli for an example.

But me and Eli? That would never happen, so I might as well test the waters out there.

I nodded and could feel my cheeks burn.

"Yeah, sounds good." I murmured.

KC smiled and handed me back my books,

"Then it's a date, Edwards." KC said as he pecked my cheek before striding down the hallway, earning glances from many people, many wondering what he had just done, especially with me.

I couldn't believe it, I was going on a date with KC Guthrie, the most popular, and charming guy at Degrassi.

Soon realizing that the bell was about to ring, I scurried into Ms. Dawes' class and took my seat behind Eli as usual.

"Welcome back, Mr. Goldsworthy." Ms. Dawes' said as she turned to face the class.

Eli nodded and smiled a bit."Thanks, Ms. Dawes." Eli thanked.

Ms. Dawes' looked at him oddly, before shaking her head and continuing to teach the class.

"Psst! Eli!" I hissed at Eli as I leaned forward in my seat.

Eli didn't look back at me as he was surprisingly taking down notes.

"What, Clare?" Eli asked annoyed."Aren't you gonna ask me what happened with me and KC?" I asked, Eli as I tried to contain my squeals of joy.

Eli stopped writing and looked back at me with an annoyed look.

"This is the type of friendship you think we have? I'm not some chick, Clare. Plus whatever happened between you and KC doesn't interest me at all." Eli scowled.

I looked at him, feeling a bit offended, I slowly took my notebook and pencil out and nodded.

"Alright.. Whatever.." I mumbled as I began to take down notes.

A few moments later though, I heard Eli sigh.

"He's not being honest with you." Eli murmured.

I looked up at him confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked, setting my pencil down.

"Its his way of messing with you, Clare. Its his and Owen's idea of hurting you. KC is gonna go out with you, dump you and then leave you hurt and humiliated." Eli explained in a soft voice.

I looked at him furiously.

I thought he was my friend and here he was **making up lies.**

"Did you have to come up with that on the spot, or did you think it through?" I asked Eli sarcastically.

"What?" Eli asked confused.

"Oh I get it. You think KC is too good for me, huh?" I asked, Eli, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Would you listen?" Eli asked exasperated.

"No you listen." I said sternly. "I know what this is about. Since he's "popular' and I'm not, you think we shouldn't go out. Of course you of all people would think that." I forced a laugh through my lips. "And to think I was beginning to think you were changing. You were lowering your jerk status, thanks a lot for proving me wrong." I sneered as I began to take notes once more.

Although whilst taking notes, I could feel Eli's hot and heavy glare on me.

So I raised my hand and looked at Ms. Dawes'.

"Ms. Dawes? Can I go to the washroom?" I asked politely.

Ms. Dawes nodded.

"Of course, Clare." Ms. Dawes answered.

I leaped from my seat and brushed past Eli to get out of the classroom.

To get away from him.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

I arrived late to Biology with Reese by my side, I was still holding my arm as me and Reese took our spots at our lab table.

"Don't go near him." Reese advised.

I looked up at Reese in shock.

"What?" I asked confused.

"He just laid his fucking hands on you. Why the hell would you wanna be around him?" Reese asked aggravated.

"Because he's my friend, Reese. I have to look out for him. I have to help him, I can't just abandon him." I murmured.

"But he's a sick guy, Alli. From what I heard, his whole life is a mess. He does drugs, his best friend is in some wheelchair because he got him shot! What guy does that?" Reese exclaimed.

I could feel tears prickle in my eyes.

"How could you even say that? He means a lot to me, Reese. I care about him." I choked out.

"And I care about you, Alli. Just don't be around him, he can hurt you, badly." Reese said in a warning tone.

"If you really care for me, you'd understand my decision and that decision is to be around, Drew and to help him get better. Now if you excuse me, I need to use the washroom." I whispered before bolting from the room and running into the washroom, feeling a million thoughts and feelings run through my head and body.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

While we were at lunch, I sat at our regular lunch table, feeling like a outcast whilst being with the populars.

I began to play with my water bottle, screwing the cap on and screwing it off.

Soon I felt Jenna's hand pry my hand off the water bottle as she laced our fingers together.

"Baby what's wrong? You're not yourself today." Jenna murmured.

I shrugged.

"I don't feel like myself today." I lied, well, I semi lied, sure I didn't feel like myself, but I felt like shit after my fight with Clare today as well.

"I think I know how to make you feel better." Jenna cooed, I saw her hand move under the table, but I didn't feel anything, I looked down to see her stroking my thigh.

Stroking my thigh and I can't even feel it.

I sighed and pulled her hand off my thigh.

"Really, Jenna? Here? At lunch?" I asked her annoyed.

Jenna groaned and pulled her hands back and rolled her eyes.

"Its not like you'd do it anywhere else with me anyway." Jenna complained.

"Why would you? Why would you wanna have sex with me when we're just doing this for the school and because we have a little deal." I murmured lowly.

Jenna smiled deviously.

"Come on babe. Forget that stupid deal. Its over and done with. Lets just do it for fun." Jenna teased with a smirk.

I groaned, rolling my eyes, I looked back at Jenna.

"You must have forgotten I'm paralyzed, Jenna." I told Jenna.

Jenna angrily stood up, grabbed her purse and left the cafeteria in a dramatic way.

I just merely sighed and returned to playing with my water bottle, my thoughts going back to Clare.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I continued to eat my lunch in silence with Alli by my side. Although, I looked up as my eyes wandered over to the popular table, I automatically caught Eli's eye as he was staring at me, I gulped and looked back down at my chips.

"There's something you're not telling me." Alli murmured as she glanced over at me and she looked over at Eli.

"Yeah, same here. What's up with you and uhm.. Reese?" I asked, remembering Alli mention Reese many times.

"Ever since he's pretty much seen me with Drew or texting Drew, he's trying to be smooth and suave, like he needs to win me over." Alli explained. "Do you like him?" I asked Alli bluntly.

Alli shrugged.

"Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. It always depends." Alli said.

"Well.. Darcy and Reese are heading over here." I murmured as I saw Reese sit down next to Alli and smile down at her, Alli looked at him dumbfounded, then back at Darcy who was smiling over at me.

"Darcy what are you doing? The populars are staring." I hissed.

"So? Let them. I'm gonna sit here with my favorite little sister today." Darcy said with a grin.

I mirrored the smile and then noticed Alli looking at us oddly.

"Wait you said favorite little sister?" Alli asked confused.

I nodded and looked at Darcy who nodded and I sighed and looked at Alli.

"Alli. We're sisters." I confessed to Alli.

"What?" Alli exclaimed.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I continued to stare over at Clare, even when Darcy and the new kid came to their table. Of course everyone at the table was buzzing about Darcy sitting with Clare and how she was betraying them.

"Alright what's the deal, man? You've been staring at this chick the whole lunch period." Riley said.

I began to hesitate as I continued to look over at Clare.

"What? N-No I'm not.' I stammered.

"Dude, even right now you're not looking at me.' Riley said with a chuckle.

I sighed and looked at Riley."Okay maybe I have been staring at her the whole lunch period. I'm sorry, I just don't know what's up with me." I apologized to Riley.

Riley then began to laugh.

"Oh my God! You're so whipped dude!" Riley chortled.

I quickly punched his arm.

"Shhhh!" I silenced him.

Riley then made his laughter go softer.

"I'm sorry man, but you are **whipped**!" Riley exclaimed softly.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"I'm not whipped, I'm just-" Soon I was cut off by Riley talking.

"Falling for the new girl?" Riley asked with a small smile.

I looked at Riley in surprise that he had figured it out, but soon I felt a bit of anger jolt through my veins.

"I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TELL ANYONE STAVROS I'LL-" I began to yell, but Riley just chuckled.

"Hey man, just calm down. You know I've got your back." Riley then paused. "But uhm how's it going.. You know.. With her..? Riley asked in a low voice.

I sighed and looked back at Clare who was smiling sweetly at Darcy now.

"I don't know. There's.. There's something about her, Riley. She always knows what to say, and that's because she gets me like no one else does. I know its not like me to say these things about someone, but I can't help what I'm feeling. She's.. She's something special." I murmured.

Riley looked at me astonished.

"Wow. What are you gonna do about it?" Riley asked.

I shrugged.

"Nothing." I simply said.

"Nothing? Dude, you snap your fingers and you have the girls waiting in line for you." Riley objected.

"Not when it comes to, Clare." I sighed. "Plus she's already head over heels for KC anyway." I interjected with a sad sigh.

"Dude. Listen to me when I say this. Forget KC, forget Jenna. Forget the popularity. If you want her, _go for her. _You have nothing standing in your way or can stop you when it comes to falling for someone." Riley murmured.

I looked over at Riley oddly.

"Why do you want this for me so badly?" I asked him.

Riley sighed.

"I know how you feel. When you want someone you can't have." Riley said as he glanced over at Zane, Zane Park, who was now sitting with the LGBT club.

I looked at Riley with wide eyes and Riley nodded.

"Yeah.. I know. Its complicated." Riley said. I nodded.

"I get it, dude." I said with a comforting tone.

"But just go for her dude." Riley said, changing subjects. "If you want her, if she makes you happy, **go for her.**" Riley advised.

I sighed and looked back at Riley and then the group of people surrounding us.

"If only the rest of them were like you.." I murmured as I began to look back at Clare.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I sat quietly in Ms. Pierces' class during lunch, finishing up the test we had during the period before.

"You know, Drew. You can always finish the test after school, you can go to lunch if you wish." Ms. Pierce told me.

I shook my head and continued to look down at the test paper before me.

"No, I'm good." I told her as I began to work out a problem.

"Tell me, Drew. What actually made you want to stay in my class today? Or even come to my class?" Ms. Pierce asked.

I sighed and looked up at her.

"Fiona.." I paused and swallowed. "And my brother, Adam.." I trailed off.

Ms. Pierce rose from her desk and walked to mine.

"I'm truly sorry about them passing away, Drew." Ms. Piece apologized.

I shrugged and continued to work out the problem.

Ms. Pierce was about to walk back to her desk, when I began to talk again.

"And I'm doing it for my friend, Alli too." I told her in a small voice.

"Bhandari? I have her in my second period class." Ms. Pierce said. "Beautiful girl." She said with a smile.

I smirked to myself.

"She really is." I agreed with her.

"Yeah. She's one of my best students. Never gets a grade lower than a C. Never disappoints me." Ms. Pierce said with a small smile.

"But she's pretty hard to keep up with." I said, my smirk faltering.

Ms. Pierce smiled.

"Sure, but she's always a helpful hand." Ms. Pierce said as she returned back to her seat.

I sighed and looked back down at my test.

"_You can do this." _Fiona whispered.

I shook my head no._"Drew, I'm an angel now. I know that you don't just carry drugs in your backpack. You also carry knowledge. Don't be ashamed of what you know. Don't be ashamed that you know how to study, that you know how to do homework. Show her you know this stuff. Show her that you're not a failure, Drew." _Fiona murmured.

I sighed and then began to figure out the problems faster, I was going to prove that I wasn't a failure.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

"Ready to go home?" Darcy asked as I reached outside the school.

"You're not ashamed to be seen with me?" I asked, Darcy.

"Like I said, I don't care what they think." Darcy said with a smile.

"Liar." I said in a teasing tone.

Darcy chuckled."Okay, okay. Maybe I'm not completely over the popularity thing." Darcy admitted, but she shrugged. "At least I'm trying." Darcy added.

"And.. What about Eli?" I asked, feeling my happiness disappear and my sadness replace it.

Darcy shrugged as we started walking towards her car.

"He said he'd get a ride from one the guys." Darcy simply said."Because he doesn't wanna be seen with me.." I said softly.

I shouldn't let the fact that Eli doesn't want to be seen with me, affect me so badly, but I can't help that he doesn't want to be seen with me. I don't understand him sometimes. Sometimes he's a total sweetheart and then a total jerk.

"Come on, lets just go home, sis." Darcy said soothingly as she placed her arm around me and led me to her car, my head still swarming with mixed thoughts.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Oh my God! What is Darcy doing with the freak!" Jenna exclaimed as she pushed me outside the school with the rest of the group.

I quickly noticed Darcy and Clare talking to each other, both laughing and smiling.

I noticed Riley look down at me, awaiting for me to say something, but I said nothing, I just looked down at my shoes."Oh my God. She needs to be called out, right now. In front of everyone." KC said with a devious smile on his face.

I felt my heart drop to my stomach as I looked at KC and then at Darcy and Clare.

"_Do something, Eli. Do __**something.**__" _A familiar voice whispered, I whipped my head around, searching for the voice, but found nothing.

I gulped and looked at KC.

"KC. Just chill out about it dude." I said in a small voice, but of course he didn't hear me over his guffaws.

"HEY EDWARDS!" Owen yelled.

Soon I saw Darcy and Clare both turn around at the name and I swallowed, preparing for the worst.

* * *

Thanks for the awesome reviews I've been getting! I read every single one and I feel so special that all of you review! Please review some more, I wanna get to 300 reviews! (:


	26. Taste Of His Lips

_Eli's Point of View:_

As the group approached Darcy and Clare, I felt Riley push me along with the group until we were face to face with a very confused Darcy and a very scared, Clare."Well, well. Looks like we finally figured out why Declan and Darcy are no longer together. Seems like Darcy is a lesbian now." Owen guffawed. "Also looks like Clare is already stepping out on you too, KC." Owen added.

"Cheating on, KC? What the hell does that have to do with, Clare?" Darcy asked confused. "Nothing compared to what she has with you, obviously. Looks like she's pretty comfortable around you. Didn't knew you swung that way, Darce. Especially with fifteen year olds."

I noticed Clare's cheeks burn with embarrassment which she was often was, she quickly removed Darcy's arm from around her shoulders."KC, it isn't what you think it is-" Clare began to say before Jenna waved her hand in the air and scoffed."Shut it, freak. You have Edwards' arm around you so now you think you deserve to speak? I don't think so, lesbian!" Jenna snapped at Clare.

I swallowed and looked down, this was getting too intense, too many words were being thrown around here.

"_Fucking do something, Eli. Just because you're paralyzed doesn't mean you can't speak up and defend, Clare. Defend her and Darcy." _The familiar voice whispered once more.

I noticed Darcy look at me angrily.

"Eli! Tell your little slut over there to keep her trap shut when it comes to saying shit about my sister!" Darcy shouted.

"Sister?" Everyone besides myself said in shock.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

I approached Ms. Pierce's class when suddenly I saw Drew standing in front of Ms. Pierce's desk.

What was he even doing in her class? He never attends.

"B - Minus." Ms. Pierce said with a smile as she handed a paper to Drew.

I smiled as I saw Drew's face lit up.

"We all know you have it in you, Drew. You just choose not to use it." Ms. Pierce murmured as she looked at Drew.

Drew smiled and looked down at his paper, muttering something incoherent, but smiled even wider, a smile I hadn't seen in months, a smile that made me even smile more than I already was.

"Ready to help out in the band room, Ms. P!" I exclaimed as I entered her classroom.

I notice Drew look at me and then glance down at my wrists before swallowing and stuffing his test paper in his backpack.

"I'll just see you later, Ms. Pierce." Drew said glumly as he proceeded to leave the classroom, but I smiled and stopped."Drew? Why don't you help me out in the band room today?" I asked with a smile.

Drew looked at me and softly grinned.

"Yeah, sure." Drew agreed.

"Alright.." I paused as I felt my smile falter. "I'm sorry about this morning. With Reese and all…" I trailed off looking down at my arm, which was still throbbing and red.

"No no. I should be sorry. I shouldn't have grabbed your arm like that. I apologize." Drew apologized sincerely with a sad smile.

"I get it. Its nothing serious, so.." I trailed off once more.

".. So can we start over? Like in.." Drew trailed off as he tried to word his sentence, I giggled.

"I know what you mean. So yes." I answered with a grin.

Drew mirrored the grin, a grin that I was enjoying seeing."Cool. That's awesome." Drew answered.

"Alright you two. Lets go." Ms. Pierce said, obviously bored with our conversation.

I smiled at Drew as we left the classroom, our hands brushing against each others, our shoulders as well.

I could only feel my stomach doing somersaults and my cheeks redden at this contact with him.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"**This **is your sister?" Owen guffawed as he gave Clare a once over and scoffed.

I noticed Darcy's fists clench in anger towards Owen, I could already tell she was gonna do something stupid in a couple minutes, I just couldn't find the will to stop her, or anyone else for that matter.

"Hey, watch what you say Milligan." Darcy growled.

Owen only shook his head.

"Man, I feel sorry for you, Darce. That's such a disappointment having her as a sister." Owen chortled.

Soon Darcy couldn't hold her anger back any longer and she slammed her fist into Owen's face, I could hear the crunch of his nose under her fist and spurt of blood rushing under his nose as he tumbled backwards.

"Oh my God! Owen are you okay?" Jenna exclaimed as she rushed over to help him, but Owen pushed her away and held his bloody, broken nose."You're gonna pay for that, bitch!" Owen growled at Darcy, who was holding her bloody knuckles in her hand while Clare, who had the most scared expression on her face, watched this all unfold.

"Don't bother showing your face around here during lunch, at parties or during football games or we'll have so many girls jump your ass, this was a huge fucking mistake, Edwards." KC sneered, a clear scowl on his face.

"I could give two shits, Guthrie." Darcy spat and then she faced me, her face mixed with anger and betrayal.

"And as for you? I called you my brother and all you did was just sit there and watch, that makes you just as bad as these guys." Darcy murmured, her eyes wide with disappointment and sadness.

I could only swallow and look up at Darcy."What the hell am I suppose to do?" I told Darcy exasperated.

"For once, stop being such a fucking hypocrite." Clare sneered, I could only stare at Clare in clear shock as she cursed, she never swore, never, until now, and towards me.

"I think I can speak for everyone when I say that I'm _sick _and _tired _of you saying one thing and doing another. You're one person, then a second later, you're a completely different person." Clare scowled, her blue eyes watering with tears. "You gain people's trust and you betray them. You sit there and watch things happen, but you don't do anything to prevent it." Clare sighed and paused. "You say you're a different person than everyone else, but you don't let anyone see that side of you because you're afraid of what they're gonna say about the _**real you**_." Clare whispered and then looked at Owen and Jenna. "And as for what you guys think of me, I could care less, you may think I'm a loser or a freak, but I'd rather take that name than something that I'm not." Clare explained as she looked back at me, tears already falling freely down her face.

Everyone outside was silent, no words, no nothing. Everything was in complete silence except for Clare's words hanging in the air.

"And you know what's the worst part of it all?" Clare asked, looking me straight in the eye, I could feel the tears form in my eyes, threatening to fall down."The fact that I was feeling something for you and that I was stupid enough to believe you had those same feelings for me too." Clare choked out, more tears streaming down her porcelain face.

I could only feel my heart break with each of her last words.

I felt numb.

"What the FUCK is going on here?" Jenna shouted exasperated.

"Come on, Clare. Let's just go home." Darcy said softly to Clare, lightly taking her arm as she did so.

Clare took one last look at me before shaking her head.

"I should have listened to Alli when she'd tell me that you'd only end up hurting me in the end." Clare took in a shaky breath as more tears fled down her cheeks. "Also I don't care where you go, just don't turn up at our house." Clare sneered before letting Darcy take her away.

Silence danced around everyone as Darcy and Clare left.

"What the fuck is going on, Eli?" Jenna exclaimed as she stood in front of me, clearly confused and angry.I didn't say anything, I just continued to look down at my shoes.

"Come on man, I'll take you out of here." Riley murmured as she took a hold of my wheelchair handles and began to push me away from everyone.

"Same goes for you too, Stavros! Walk away and you're considered out, just like Edwards!" KC growled furiously.

Riley looked back at KC and scoffed.

"I'm so sick of being under your fucking limb, Guthrie, that I'll _run _out that fucking door." Riley sneered before taking the handles and pushing me away from everything and everyone.

* * *

_Jenna's Point of View:_

"Goddammit!" KC shouted sharply before punching a locker as we retreated inside, I noticed how KC's hand had caused a dent in the locker.

"Saturday detention." Ms. Pierce said as she walked past with that god awful, Alli Bhandari and Drew Torres, who seemed to be cozy with each other.

"FUCK!" KC screamed before kicking a locker from even more anger.

Then Ms. Dawes walked by and smirked.

"Detention after school, Mr. Guthrie." Ms. Dawes said whilst walking by.

KC groaned and ran his fingers through his hair before facing us all.I sighed deeply and looked at KC."Well. What do we do now? That _girl _comes into this school and suddenly everything changes?" I asked despairingly.

KC noticed how everyone else in the hallway was staring and suddenly shouted.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" KC screamed furiously.

Suddenly, I grabbed KC by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close.

"Listen to me, KC. You have got to win her over. Win that freak over, and crush her. Just fucking crush her and hurt her good in front of everyone. Make her be in pain. Our school shouldn't change because one freak enrolls and steals one of the best people in this group." I sneered.

KC nodded and pulled my away from him."Alright, I know. I got this." KC said and he looked at Owen.

"Come on, Owen. Lets go." KC motioned for Owen to come with him.

Owen, who's nose was still broken and bleeding was holding his nose.

"That brunette bitch is gonna pay." Owen growled, angry as hell.

"Just come on, Owen." KC growled as he grabbed Owen and led him out the school, murmuring to him.

The rest of us stood around, not sure what to do, or what to say after what we saw.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

Later that night, I found myself sitting in the park I had ran into Eli that one time, just his name being thought brought pain to my chest.

He betrayed me.

He betrayed Darcy.

He betrayed everyone.

He wasn't who he said he was, he was a two faced jerk who goes around using girls and breaking their hearts.

Just like mine was feeling right now.

I looked out into the pond that was apart of the park and sighed heavily, dipping my fingers in the freezing cold water, wishing that I had never met, Eli.

That Helen had never adopted me.

I wished I was somewhere else, somewhere else, away from Eli.

I could feel the tears come again and wash down my face once more.

"You were the girl." Eli murmured.

Surprised I jumped up and noticed Eli sitting in his wheelchair, not that far away from me, confusion and apathy in his face.

"What.. What are you doing here?" I whispered.

"I told Stavros to drop me off here." Eli murmured. "Now tell me why you never told me you were that girl." Eli asked as he moved forward in his wheelchair.

I shrugged and wiped my tears away."We weren't exactly best friends at the time." I whispered.

Soon Eli was right in front of me in his wheelchair.

"Was that one of the obvious moments that you weren't okay?" Eli asked soothingly, obviously worried and concerned over me.

If he only knew I felt the same way about him.

"Look, the last thing I wanna do is-" I began to say before Eli cut me off.

"-see me. I know. I wouldn't blame you if you never wanna see me again." Eli told me.

I sighed and looked back at the pond.

"I don't plan on taking back what I said at school. I meant every word and I don't plan on taking them back, no matter how much they embarrassed you." I whispered, as I sat down on the wet grass before the pond.

I could hear Eli groaning and grunting and I noticed him pull himself out of his wheelchair and sit next to me using his arms.

I sighed and looked forward,

"You're wasting your time." I told him bluntly.

"I don't believe that." Eli murmured.

I looked at Eli, tears still in my eyes that were making its way down my cheeks.

"Yes you are. I'm not gonna be another girl you play with, Eli." I told him in a choked voice.

"You'd be surprised at how much you mean to me than the others." Eli whispered, his eyes showing truth and meaning.

I shook my head and looked forward again.

More silence danced around us.

"Thank you." Eli murmured.

I looked at him oddly.

Eli sighed and looked back forward.

"Ever since the night of that party, you knew I wasn't okay. You hated me at the time. Of course, I had no idea, but you were always there for me no matter what. With what was going on with my dad.." Eli trailed off and I noticed he was starting to cry. "With my mom leaving me again for her new family. To you tutoring me. You were always there." Eli whispered and paused. "Those things you said at school today. You were right. I am a hypocrite. I do care too much about what people think. I do say one thing and do another. Its just that.. That's my lifestyle since everything began to fall apart. The popularity made me feel wanted. Something I didn't feel at home. I didn't want things to change _at all._" Eli murmured, full fledged tears running down his face. "Believe it or not, with my dad dead and gone. Things have been going downhill." Eli whispered as he looked at me with his puffy green eyes. "You're the only good thing I have in my life. I'm not ready to lose you." Eli murmured.

All I could do was stare at him, I couldn't find my tongue after his words.

"I'm falling for you, Clare." Eli whispered.

"Now you tell me why its so hard to believe someone who has lied about who they are countless times." I told Eli.

Eli just shook his head and smirked.

"Because I never lied to you about who I was." Eli interjected.

At this point, I just couldn't take it anymore. As much as I wanted to be with, Eli, it couldn't happen, so many things stood in our way, things that were temporary or things that were fatal.

"Please don't tell me this." I begged him whilst sobbing.I could feel Eli's gaze on me.

"Why not? Because you wanna be with me just as much as I wanna be with you. Admit it, Clare. You wanna be with me." Eli told me.

I couldn't say anything to him, but to just stare at him with puffy eyes.

Soon Eli leaned in and I didn't back away, I just stood frozen as his lips came closer and closer, I had never kissed anyone before. I never thought that would ever happen to me.

But it Eli's lips met mine and I could feel my insides doing different tricks at the feel of his soft subtle lips on mine, it felt so good, so right, I didn't want this to end.

But soon, Eli pressed his lips deeper onto mine once he noted that I wasn't gonna pull away.

But then I did.

I pulled away and shook my head.

"I'm sorry. I can't.. I can't, Eli." I spurted out before springing up and running away from the pond.

I couldn't be with Eli.. Not when his issues with the populars and my HIV stood in the way.

He couldn't know about that, ever.

But I could still feel the taste of his lips left on mine as I zipped through streets to get home.

* * *

Sorry its short, but it has so much in it, that it makes up for the shortness! Please review! Still trying to get to 300 reviews :D


	27. Romeo and Juliet

_Clare's Point of View:_

A couple weeks of the school being on a annual break and after the huge confrontation with Eli and my kiss with him, the kiss I kept replaying in my head.

A kiss that was my first.

As I darted through people through the halls, clutching my books to my chest, I felt a hand on my arm and spin me around, I expected to see myself face to face with Alli, but no, instead it was KC.

"Hey there beautiful." KC said soothingly, I scoffed and pulled my arm away as I walked away from him quickly.

"Hey! Come on, Clare! Give me a chance to explain!" KC shouted as he tried to catch up with me. I rolled my eyes and stopped, looking back at him.

"Why should I? You have a lot of nerve coming after me after what happened a couple weeks ago." I sneered.

Soon the bell shrilled in the air.

KC sighed and looked down at me with a small smile.

"I'm sorry about what happened a couple weeks ago." KC apologized, then he paused. "If you ask me, I think its pretty cool that your Edwards' sister." KC said.

I rolled my eyes, I was sick of KC already and his trying too hard antics, after what he did, he wasn't gonna win me over so easily.

"Whatever. I've got to get to class anyway." I mumbled as I spun around and headed for Dawes' class, but I felt KC grab my arm once more and pull me towards him.

"Come on. Let's go somewhere and talk this out. Please?" KC asked with his brown eyes widening.

I sighed and looked down the deserted hallway, making sure no one was coming.

"Just talk?" I asked him clearly, I didn't want this to be some trap.

KC nodded and let go of my arm.

"Just talk, I swear." KC swore with a smirk.

I sighed heavily and stuffed my book in my bag and looked at KC.

"Fine. We'll talk and that's it." I told him sternly as he led us to wherever we were going to talk.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

I found myself running through the early morning rain with Drew by my side, I had my bag over my head to shield the rain from my face and hair, while Drew had his hoodie on, yet we were both laughing through the water.

"This is no use! I'm getting wet!" I exclaimed as I pulled the bag off my head and pulled it on my shoulder as I shook my head and water spurted everywhere.

"Yet you still look beautiful." Drew said with a warm smile as water dripped off his nose.

"What was that?" I asked him teasingly as we walked through the rain."What me? I didn't dare say a word." Drew said sarcastically.

Both of our laughs harmonizing with each others as we crossed the street that Degrassi was on.

"You know. You're a horrible influence on me." I quipped as Drew and I began to walk on the scoffed and looked at me.

"Well isn't _that _a wonderful thing to say to a person." Drew said jokingly as he rolled his eyes.

I laughed and looked at Drew from the corner of my eyes.

"I'm being serious! I'm late to class, again. Then a couple weeks ago you had me skipping class! I'm becoming a delinquent!" I exclaimed.

"Hey, I didn't make you do _anything. _It was all your choice." Drew informed me.

I scoffed and looked at him.

"Don't make me look like the bad guy, Drew!" I said disapprovingly.

Drew shrugged and looked back at me.

"Don't make me one either. I'm not a bad guy, Alli." Drew said truthfully.

I nodded and sighed.

"I'm sorry I thought you were a bad guy, Drew. Really I am. Now I know you aren't. You're a good guy." I murmured.

"Make it up to me." Drew said simply.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at him oddly.

"How?" I asked confused.

"Don't go to school today. Lets just skip today." Drew murmured.

I rolled my eyes."I'll skip on that offer thank you very much." I said.

"Come on. Both of us are already late and neither of us wanna show up to class drenched in rain. Lets go somewhere, Alli." Drew offered with a clear smirk across his face.

I just stared at Drew, contemplating whether or not to ditch school to be with him all day.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Hey, I never got the chance to thank you man. For everything you've done for me so far." I thanked Riley as we sat in his car as he drove us to school - late anyway. At least we had an excuse.

"It's no problem man. I got your back." Riley said with a smile as he stopped at a red light.

"Well, you're the _only _one I can count on anyway." I interjected as I started to lace and unlace my fingers absentmindedly.

"Only one? What about what happened with Clare that night? I figured me dropping you off to see her would repair the rift you caused." Riley asked as he began driving again.

I sighed and remembered back to our kiss. I smiled a bit at remembering how her breath felt on my lips as I inched forward, she wanted that kiss as much as I wanted it. Her lips, so soft against mine was amazing, a feeling I longed for even more, it was like a drug addict who needed their drugs, I needed drugs like I needed Clare's kisses.

"We kissed." I said blissfully, a clear goofy smile on my face.

"That's great man! Does that mean you two are together now or something?" Riley asked.

I could feel my bliss tumble down as I realized the harsh truth of mine and Clare's current status.

"No.. Not even close. So many things stand in the way right now, Riley. Jenna being one of them. KC being another. Popularity.. Trust.." I trailed off and sighed. "It just wouldn't work no matter how much I want it too." I murmured.

"Does she wanna be with you?" Riley asked.

I sat there and pondered a bit, remembering when I asked her to admit she had feelings for me and that she wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with her, she hadn't said a word, but her eyes gave everything away that night.

"I think so." I said softly.

"Then nothing should stop you two from being together then." Riley said simply.

"I know.. But there is so many things I can't let go of." I sighed and ran a hand through my thick hair. "Who would have thought, that out of all people.." I trailed off and Riley caught on.

".. That'd be the one you'd fall for?" Riley asked.

I chuckled and looked at Riley as he pulled into the parking lot.

"Something like that." I said. "But.. How am I suppose to face her now? Oh God.. How am I suppose to face Darcy? This is gonna be hell." I whispered.

"Well you better come up with something quick because we're here." Riley said as he pulled into a parking spot and pulled his seat belt off of himself.

I groaned and leaned back into Riley's seat, afraid of going inside Degrassi and facing the music.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

The stench hit my nose immediately as I reached the room KC had led me into, blue lockers lining the walls and piles of wet clothes in a pile.

"The boys locker room? Really, KC?" I asked disgusted as I looked around the room.

KC shrugged and strode over to a locker room bench and sat down, his arms dangling on his knees.

"It's the only place we could talk. Not to mention, have some privacy as well." KC explained.

I crossed my arms across my chest and looked down at KC.

"Talk then." I spat.

KC sighed and looked up at me.

"I wanted to apologize sincerely, after everything that happened a couple weeks ago. I would have said something then, but I couldn't y'know? That's what the school expects from me. To defend my people." KC said defensively.

I scoffed at KC's words and looked at him as if he was trash.

"Your people?" I asked offensively. "Then what the heck are we, KC? We're people too." I sneered.

"I know. That's why I'm so regretful about what happened with you and Darcy. That's why I wanna apologize sincerely for my actions that day. I never meant to hurt you two. I'm just asking you for your forgiveness." KC murmured as he stood up to face me.

I sighed, was this really necessary? To be in a fight with a dumb jock like KC? I decided to just take the easy route.

I shrugged."Fine. I forgive you." I told him truthfully.

KC's eyes lit up and he smiled.

"Really?" KC asked surprisingly.

"Your insults weren't anything new to me anything. Didn't hurt me." I said bluntly.

KC's smiled turned into a grin as he reached out and grabbed my hands, holding them tightly and roughly in his own.

"I want you to change your mind about me." KC whispered close to my face.

I could only feel my heart beat faster.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Hey, Riley? Can we go through the locker room? I need to get my gym clothes out of there considering I won't be participating in PE for a while." I asked as I looked up at Riley who was pushing me down the hall.

"Yeah, sure bro." Riley said as he pushed me down the hall that was connected into the gym.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I looked at KC in confusement.

"I don't know what you mean..?" I asked him confused.

"You think I'm the bad guy." KC whispered.

I rolled my eyes and looked at KC knowingly.

"Surprised?" I asked him sarcastically.

"No. That's why I wanna prove it to you that I'm not the bad guy, Clare." KC murmured as he pulled me closer to him.

My heart beat getting faster and faster as I got closer to him.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

Riley was about to push me into the locker room, when I heard KC's voice echo in the room, I pushed my hand out and grabbed onto the wall to stop Riley from pushing me, I made a Shh sound as I listened in on KC.

"How are you planning on doing that?" Clare asked KC.

I could only feel my jaw go slack at the thought of her being alone in a locker room with KC.

"I know there's something going on between you and Eli. But he doesn't show you any involvement here at school since he's afraid of what people think of him." KC said soothingly.

"You.. You don't know anything about that." Clare stammered, her voice growing nervous, as did my concern did as well.

"He's a fool for not showing you off to the whole damn school, Clare. If you were my girl, I'd do it in a heartbeat." KC said with that promise like voice.

She's gonna fall for it.. Clare's gonna fall for it.. I thought to myself, I blinked several times to stop myself from ever crying over this.

"Give me one last chance, Clare. I can't be any worst than, Eli." KC whispered.

There was silence dancing amongst us all.

"You don't have to trust me now. I'll gain your trust eventually, Clare. Just give me a chance." KC pleaded.

"I'm sorry, KC. I can't. I can't get hurt like that again." Clare choked out.

I could only hang my head low at the thought of me being the one who hurt her, who was her first heartbreak.

That could only bring a shitty feeling to my stomach.

I looked up as footsteps came forward and I noticed it was Clare standing before me and Riley in shock.

"Eli.." Clare trailed off, not sure what to say in a situation like this.

"Well, Well, Well. Look who decided to interrupt our conversation." KC said smugly as he wrapped his arm around Clare's shoulders.

I could feel anger boil in my veins. "Interrupt? Interrupt what? I believe you were just rejected." I sneered as I looked at KC smugly.

Clare removed KC's arm from around her shoulders."I need to go to class." Clare muttered before darting from the locker room, face red as a tomato.

"What the hell did you do to her?" I exclaimed angrily.

KC smirked and let out a forced chuckle.

"Winning her over." KC said smugly.

I scoffed and looked at him as if he was crazy."Yeah, over my dead body. What's the point of this little game, KC? What do you get out of playing with her?" I asked.

KC shrugged."Ask your girlfriend." KC said simply before shrugging past Riley to leave the gym.

"What the actual fuck?" Riley asked confused.

All I could say.

"Same here, dude."

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

"I can't believe I gave in." Alli muttered as we walked alongside each other.

I felt a smile creep along my lips."Hey, you _had _to give in. You just had too. You needed some fun in your life." I told Alli."I've had fun." Alli told me with a knowing look.

I rolled my eyes and looked at her.

"Really? With who?" I asked her.

Alli took a moment before sighing heavily.

".. Fiona.." Alli whispered.

I could feel the smile fade on my lips as I heard her say, Fiona's name.

"Where is she?" Alli asked, looking at me.

I shrugged and stuffed my hands in my pockets.

"She doesn't come around all that much as I expected her too." I said blandly.

It was the truth though, Fiona hasn't be around all that much lately now that I've been with Alli. It somewhat bugged me not seeing her glorious face pop up anywhere.

"Well, she must have been around plentiful times considering she got the old Drew back." Alli complimented with a small smile.

"Surprisingly, its not her getting me back on track." I paused and looked at Alli. "Its you." I whispered.

Alli looked at me in slight shock, not really able to find her words.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

As I pushed myself to Ms. Dawes' class, KC's words kept repeating themselves in my head.

I sighed and knocked on Ms. Dawes' classroom door, Ms. Dawes opened it and looked down at me expectantly.

"Mr. Goldsworthy. Nice of you to join us." Ms. Dawes said as she stepped out of the way for me roll myself inside.

"Sorry, Ms. Dawes. I had early morning therapy." I apologized before retreating back to my seat.

Ms. Dawes sighed before returning to the bored.

"So. Class. Tell me the relationship between Romeo and Juliet." Ms. Dawes asked as she wrote the teen lovers' names on the board.

I slowly raised my hand in the air and Ms. Dawes looked at me in shock and awe.

Even I could hear Clare behind me gasp in shock, but I ignored her.

"Mr. Goldsworthy?" Ms. Dawes called on me, still in shock.

"I think Juliet is afraid of Romeo." I told Ms. Dawes, Ms. Dawes looked at me confused.

But I knew what I was doing here.

And I hoped the small girl behind me, knew as well.

"You see. Romeo is willing to give up everything to be with Juliet, but Juliet is afraid to be with Romeo, in fear of being in a relationship with me- I mean Romeo." I stammered.

I could hear Clare behind me groan as she caught on.

"Juliet _should _be scared of Romeo. Romeo has never shown her any support or interest in supporting her. Plus Romeo has been in way too many relationships and Juliet isn't ready to be thrown away like the others." Clare explained.

"Juliet has helped Romeo through so many things." I said as I turned around and looked at Clare. "Romeo is a different man than he was before." I murmured to Clare.

Clare just sighed and shook her head.

"Juliet can't just take words. She needs more than that, Eli." Clare said.

I sighed and looked at Clare."So it will take more than that." I paused. "But Romeo isn't ready to lose, Juliet to Paris or to _any _other type of royalty of peasantry." I told Clare.

"Juliet wouldn't. But.." Clare paused and sighed. "But there is more to Juliet than Romeo knows and Juliet doesn't wanna hurt, Romeo. Relationships count on trust and Romeo and Juliet can't trust each other." Clare told me sadly.

I groaned, I wasn't gonna give up so easily.

"Romeo trusts Juliet with everything in it. No matter what Juliet says." I told Clare sternly.

Clare didn't have any words this time, she just stared at me in confusion, I did the same.

Hell, the whole class stared at us in confusion.

"Uh.. Eli? What the hell was that?" Bianca asked confused.

I looked at Clare and smiled.

"Nothing, Bianca. Don't worry about it." I murmured as I smirked at Clare before turning forward to the class.

Ms. Dawes just shook her head before turning back to the board.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I stood in the middle of the cafeteria, looking around for Alli who was always here before I was, but I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped, seeing it was Darcy behind me.

"She's not here." Darcy said.

"You scared me, Darce!" I exclaimed as I looked at Darcy.

Darcy shook her head.

"Just follow me." Darcy said as she led me through the crowded cafeteria.

People stopped eating and began to stare at us in awe as we passed.

I felt like a true freak now.

I noticed that Darcy and I stopped before the populars' table and fake smiled at them.

"Hey guys! Just wanted to apologize you know, for stealing all the attention!" Darcy fake apologized in a high squeaky voice as she looked at me and everyone else in the cafeteria. "Come on though. It can't be that bad. At least you have each other to look at." Darcy teased with a grin. "Once again, I'm truly sorry." Darcy fake apologized, before grabbing me and walking off, I found myself in a fit of laughter along with Darcy.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I rolled myself to the usual table, just to see Darcy and Clare walking away, in a laughing fit.

"Hey? What was that about?" I asked the group before I noticed a guy who was exceptionally tall with messy brown hair sitting in my seat. "Hey kid, beat it. That's _my _seat. No one else besides me sits there." I told the guy sitting in my chair.

The guy turned around to see me and he smiled nervously.

"Sorry dude. They said I could sit here. My apologizes dude." The guy said as he stood up, but KC clasped a hand on his shoulder and shoved him down in my seat.

"No, Jake. You stay." KC said to Jake who was looking around confused.

I looked at KC in shock."Dude? KC? What the hell is going on?" I asked him confused.

KC sighed and looked at me disappointingly.

"You know what man? Maybe _after _the wheelchair." KC said.

I couldn't find my words.

He was kicking me out - for not walking?

I looked at them all blankly.

"You guys can't be serious." I said.

Bianca sighed and looked at me.

"Come on, don't take it the wrong way, Eli. Its just that - We don't think you're cut to hang with us while you're sitting on.. That." Bianca said disgustingly as she looked at my wheelchair.

I growled furiously as I rolled behind KC.

"This isn't about the fucking group, is it? This is about, Clare huh?" I asked KC.

KC guffawed and looked back at me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Goldsworthy. Now just leave cripple." KC sneered before facing everyone.

I could only sit there, not sure what to do.

* * *

OH MY GOD! I MADE IT TO 300 REVIEWS! THANK YOU GUYS! I still want reviews though! I wanna see all your input on the story still! Thank you guys!


	28. Trust Me

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Come on, KC. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You said so yourself. You want, Clare." I growled lowly.

KC chuckled and looked back at me.

"Oh, Goldsworthy. You flatter me." KC then paused and sighed. "Stop making yourself look pathetic dude, just go find another table." KC sneered.

"Fine." I smirked and looked over at Clare's table. "I'll go sit with, Clare." I said.

"Looks like she wants nothing to do with you, bro." KC said with a forced laugh. "Dude, me and you both know this is no competition, I have her in the palm of my hand whether you like it or not." KC said smugly.

I watched as KC turned around to talk to everyone in the group who wasn't even paying attention to him, everyone besides that Jake guy who mouthed _"I'm sorry." _before trying to get into the conversation with everyone else in the group despite his awkwardness.

I sighed in frustration and rolled myself to the middle of the cafeteria, where I couldn't help, but look over at Clare, she looked up and saw that I was looking at her and she didn't look away, she kept her eyes there, held with my gaze.

I shook my head and rolled past their table as I started to exit the cafeteria, but I could hear their conversation.

"Just ignore him, Clare. He's a jerk, always gonna be a jerk." Darcy sneered.

"Yeah.. I guess you're right." Clare murmured unsurely.

I just shook my head even more and exited the cafeteria faster.

To think, I use to love coming here, now its like fucking hell.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I looked up at Alli who was eating her cotton candy as we sat in the middle of the carnival.

"I got to give it to 'ya. Today's been fun." Alli said in a muffled voice as she shoved cotton candy in her mouth.

I snorted and looked off and away at other things in the carnival.

"Yeah it has huh?" I asked her as I looked back at her.

Alli smiled and shrugged. "As mushy as this sounds, the best part of today was seeing you smile again." Alli murmured.

All I could so was stare at her as her words sunk in.

"Oh God! That sounded even mushier than I thought!" Alli exclaimed as her cheeks reddened.

I smiled and shook my head.

"No it wasn't. It was.." I trailed off and paused, trying to think of a word. "It was sweet. Thank you." I said genuinely as I stared into Alli's brown eyes.

Alli smirked and looked down as she playfully nudged my arm.

I smiled down at her and grabbed her free hand, holding it in my own and intertwining our fingers.

Alli smiled down at our locked hands and smiled even wider.

Today was a good day.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

I looked back at Eli as he exited the cafeteria, was he just _rejected _by his social group?

No.. He couldn't be. As I looked over I saw a new kid, awkward and lanky, sitting in his chair, trying to divulge into conversation, but failing miserably.

I sighed frustrated, I felt bad for Eli, no matter how much we fought on the issue of social groups, I felt bad for him.

I stood up and pushed my chair in and Darcy looked at me confused."Where are you going?" Darcy asked.

"Uhm.. I have to take my pills at my locker. Don't wait for me or anything if you wanna go back to the college." I told her as I darted from the cafeteria.

As I walked down the hallway, I couldn't help, but let my mind wander.

I had to find, Eli. I just _had _too. I had to see if he was okay.

I couldn't let him go off and just get hurt or something.

I felt like I was here to make sure he was okay.

Despite everything, I was head over heels in love with him, and it was eating at me everyday.

As I looked down another hall, to see he wasn't there, I heard a voice echo down the hall.

"Oh, just give it up, freak!" Jenna exclaimed. "I know what you're doing. You're looking for Eli. You have some real nerve, bitch." Jenna sneered. "What don't you understand? Eli belongs to _me. _**With me.**" Jenna said possessively. "Just like he wouldn't be caught with you, he wouldn't even give you the time of day. So why are you still trying? Why are you bothering?" Jenna asked nasally.

Before I could even answer, Jenna, she began speaking again.

"Puh-lease! Don't tell me, he's using the whole 'you're different' and 'I need you' crap? Come on. Are you THAT easy, freak? Its just a silly little game he has going on with KC. KC actually likes you, and when Eli found out, he had to have you and steal you from KC. He did the same with me with KC liked me, Eli got jealous and stole me away. Its what he does. He doesn't mean any of those things." Jenna spat.

I could feel my eyes start to water as Jenna's words sunk in.

"No.. You don't know _anything._" I whispered.

Jenna threw her head back and let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh yeah, of course, Clare. I'm making this all up, just because." Jenna sighed and looked back at me. "Open up your beautiful eyes, Clare. He's feeding you a bunch of lies. That's what his life consists of. _Lies._" Jenna murmured.

I tried my hardest to hold back tears as Jenna continued to talk.

"You don't know _anything _about his life." I growled weakly.

"I know everything. _In detail._ Now just do yourself a favor, stay the hell away from Eli and go for KC." Jenna said before walking off with a smirk on her face.

With that, I didn't know _what _to believe anymore. I wanted to believe that Eli really did want me. That he wanted to be with me like he said earlier, no matter what secrets I was holding back. I just hoped he wasn't the one Jenna made him out to be.

I couldn't even tell if this was life anymore. Was life a constant struggle? Between social groups and boys and losing friends in a freak earthquake accident? Was this the life meant for me?

All I knew was that I needed to find, Eli now.

I needed to settle this all once and for all.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I sighed as I sat in the gym, the football in my hands as I twirled it around in my hands.

"You're no longer apart of my life. As much as I enjoyed tossing around a football and hitting people with you, it just isn't for me anymore. As much as Bullfrog wanted me to play football, I won't anymore. You're in the past, football." I murmured down to the inanimate object. "I wanna.. I wanna start fresh. Get new friends. Bring my grades up. Give my mom.. Give my mom a second chance that she deserves, because she's my mother. " I sighed. "I don't wanna be the school's badass anymore. I wanna be what I wanna be for once. Without anyone controlling me. I don't wanna be Prom King. I wanna get along with Ms. Dawes." I paused and chuckled. "Okay, maybe I lied about that one." I smirked to myself as I tossed the football to the corner of the gym. "Whether its Adam or.. Even Clare." I smiled to myself at her name. "I just want someone to tell me that.." I could feel my eyes start to water. "Someone needs to tell me that they're proud of me. Because I've never had the father to tell me that." I whispered. "I want my best friend back. My best friend, _Drew. _I wanna be the old, Eli. The one who didn't think so low of himself or was expected so much out of people." I murmured.

Soon I heard footsteps walking in and applauding, I spun around in my chair to see Clare walk in with a grimace on her face as she applauded.

"What… What are you doing here?" I asked as I wiped away some tears.

"So did you know I'd come here? Did you plan out that whole speech?" Clare asked furiously.

I looked at Clare confused.

"Clare? What are you even talking about?" I asked confused.

"You know what I'm talking about. About how you wanted to keep me away from KC, knowing how much he liked me. All so you could win me over, feeling all victorious." Clare sneered. "You just _used _me to win some **stupid **war! God! How could I have been so **STUPID**!" Clare exclaimed as tears ran angrily down her face.

"Could you please listen to yourself? You know me enough to know that I wouldn't take you for granted, Clare. I would never do that. I don't know who the fuck filled your head with these stupidities." I said calmly as I could. "But both me and you know how I _feel _about you. I wouldn't lie about something like that in my life, Clare." I murmured.

As more tears ran down Clare's cheeks, she shrugged.

"How am I suppose to believe you?" Clare asked softly.

Okay, that was it. I was sick and tired of going through this routine with Clare. This was all gonna get resolved right now.

Without much thought or force, I rose from my wheelchair and took shaky steps toward, Clare, who's mouth hung open as she saw me walk towards her and I took her face in my hands.

"Why are you so scared to be with me?" I whispered.

"Eli.. You're standing." Clare said blankly as she stared down at my legs.

"I don't care, Clare. I don't care for anything right now than the fact that I'm here with you and that you need to be here with me too." I murmured lowly.

"I **am **here with you." Clare whispered.

"No, No." I sighed and paused. "You're in the room with me, but not _with _me, Clare. I need you to be _with _me." I told as tears threatened to fall from my eyes.

Clare allowed more tears to rush down her face more freely.

"What do you want from me, Eli?" Clare asked.I sighed and leaned forward until my forehead rested on hers, her warmth pulsating between our two foreheads."Trust me." I whispered as I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers once more, this time, Clare didn't pull away, this time, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer to her as our lips collided with each others, I could feel both of us deepen the kiss, making it better than our first.

"_She trusts you. You did it buddy. You got the girl of your dreams." _The same eerie voice that sounded like Adam whispered, but I didn't look around for him, instead I lightly pulled away from, Clare as she did the same.

Instead, I grabbed, Clare's hand and intertwined our fingers as I led her out the gym."Eli? Where are we going?" Clare asked softly as we walked down the hall.

"To put an end to this." I murmured as I looked down at her as we headed for the cafeteria.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

"Nope. You're wrong. X equals 62 over pi." I said knowingly as I looked at Drew, who just shook his head.

"No. You're wrong, Bhandari, I'm telling you, X equals 37 over pi." Drew said matter-o-factly.

"Hmph! Fine! We'll just see for ourselves here." I murmured as I grabbed the math book and flipped to the back to see the answers.

As I stared at the answer, Drew sighed impatiently.

"Well?" Drew asked.

"I can't believe it." I whispered as I looked up at Drew.

Drew guffawed and smiled.

"I was right, right?" Drew asked.

"Since when did you get so smart?" I asked playfully as I shoved his shoulder lightly.

"I am very capable to studying y'know." Drew said with a smirk.

"I know, but between studying and the coke-" I quickly stopped myself. "Sorry, shouldn't have brought it up." I muttered, feeling embarrassed.

"No, its fine. You know, being with you has had drugs the last thing on my mind." Drew murmured.

I sighed and looked up at Drew.

"I feel.. Bad." I whispered.

"Don't feel bad." Drew murmured and sighed. "I wanna do something." Drew said.

I scoffed and looked at him.

"Like what? Slap me? Wouldn't blame 'ya." I told him sarcastically.

But instead, Drew placed a hand on the back of my head and pulled me in for a kiss. His wet lips on mine had me remember all the memories of kissing Drew before, feeling the bliss I was feeling now.

Only now, the bliss was ten times more blissful.

* * *

Short update! Sorry! But you also got what you've been waiting for! Eli/Clare are **finally **together, but that doesn't mean their problems are gone! Please review! :D


	29. We Did It

**A/N: **Before I start the story, I just wanna thank ALL of you for supporting and reading this story. I never thought it would be somewhat more popular than The Pretenders and Make Believe. I also wish I could answer all of your questions you leave in your reviews such as _"When will Clare tell Eli she has HIV?" _or _"When will Clare ever get better from HIV?" _I thought I might as well tell you guys the answers to those now.

Clare will eventually tell Eli of her HIV, she pretty much will have to now that they are dating.

Clare will never get better from HIV. I have said before it was **terminal HIV. **Meaning it will turn into AIDS and Clare will die from it.. So yes, Clare will die from this, she can never get better from this, I'm not spoiling anything either since this was pretty obvious from the story itself.

So anyway! Back to the story! (:

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I could feel Alli's soft lips kiss me back, even deeper, she was enjoying this kiss just as much as I was, slowly I pulled her in closer and slid my hand up her shirt, feeling her shiver at the touch of my hand on her small soft back, as I trailed my fingers up her back, I could barely feel the back of her bra, before Alli pulled away quickly, shoving me away lightly when doing so.

"I can't do this." Alli breathed out heavily.

I gave Alli a confused look as she tried to catch her breath from our deep kiss.

"What? I thought you wanted me to.." I said confused as myself tried to catch my own breath.

"I did - I mean I do." Alli stammered. "Its just.." Alli sighed and shook her head.

"Its just what, Alli? What is it? Tell me." I said with concern in my voice as Alli looked down, I noticed a tear roll down her cheek."We hurt each other once.. Remember?" Alli whispered.

I sighed and looked down, nodding whilst remembering my one night stand with Fiona.

"You chose Fiona that night, Drew. You don't want this, Drew. Neither of us want this. We'll just cheat on each other all over again like we did before." Alli murmured as she began fiddling with her big bracelet around her wrist.

"We won't hurt each other this time, Alli. I don't have to choose anyone this time. If anything, I choose you." I whispered.

Alli shook her head and continued to look down, possible flashbacks in her mind as well, I grabbed her by her chin and forced her head up so her eyes could meet with mine.

"Alli. You're the only thing that has made me happy in a long time. I'm not ready to give you up." I said sternly as tears spilled out of Alli's eyes and landed on my hands and in her lap.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I tightened my grip around Clare's hand as we took a deep breath and entered the cafeteria. It was like everyone was staring at us like we were some freak show, which we were in a way.

A freak show of a couple and I didn't give a flying fuck, as long as I had Clare here, holding my hand, I was fine.

Whispers and murmurs floated around the cafeteria as people stared at us as we made it to the middle of the cafeteria.

"Eli? They're all staring at us. They know this is wrong.. We do too." Clare whispered sadly as her hand loosened around mine.

I sighed and shook my head, tightening my grip around her hand.

"Let them stare. Its you and I. Against all of them. There is no doubt you can handle it, Clare." I told her with a smirk to comfort her, then I turned my body to where I was standing in front of her, I grasped her other hand in mine and smiled. "You're the strongest person I know." I whispered as Clare gathered tears in her eyes, I slowly leaned in to plant a soft and tender kiss on her lips, only more gasps and whispers went around the cafeteria as I did so, but I didn't care whatsoever as long as Clare was here.

And she was here.

"Well, Well." KC sneered as he walked up to Clare and myself with the populars behind himself. "What do we have here?" KC asked smugly.

Jenna then strode up next to KC, obviously pissed at both me and Clare. "Yeah, that's what I'd like to know." Jenna spat whilst crossing her arms across her chest.

I sighed and took Clare's hands, pushing herself behind me in case Jenna tried anything with her, I couldn't afford to have my girlfriend of not even ten minutes get attacked by my ex girlfriend.

"This is what should have happened a _long _time ago." I hissed under my breath.

KC guffaws loudly at my words and shakes his head.

"Oh my God. Please don't tell me you're committed to his freak! Come on man. We know you better than to do that." KC said knowingly.

All I could was force a chuckle out, which turned into hysterical laughter that had all the populars' confused as hell, but I couldn't stop laughing at KC's stupidity.

"You see.." I paused and tried to calm my laugher. "That's where you're wrong, KC. **So wrong. **You don't know me. None of you know me. You all know the person I've pretended to be." I spat hastily, I could feel Clare quiver behind myself, letting out scared whimpers from the huge confrontation, I gently rubbed circles over her hand with my thumb to let her know everything was going to be okay once this was over. "The person you _want _me to be. You guys don't care enough to really get to know me." I paused and looked back at Clare, who was looking at me with those wide eyes. "Unlike her." I whispered loud enough for others to hear, but soft enough for Clare to get the feeling behind it.

Jenna rolled her eyes."Sure we know you, Eli! Your favorite color is green!" Jenna exclaimed.

"Its black actually, Jenna." I said with a smirk.

"Who gives a shit! That's what you want us to know? Your favorite color? We've had your back this past year and suddenly this chick comes along and you turn your back on us?" KC sneered, especially when he said the 'chick' part, making Clare move uneasily from behind me.

"Are you listening to yourself, Guthrie? Just twenty minutes ago, you kicked me out of your group, because I was in a wheelchair!" I exclaimed angrily.

"But you can walk now. So just forget all of this even happened. Your life is back to normal. Just like the day before **she **got here." Jenna spat nasally while she shot Clare a dirty look, I only tightened my grip around, Clare's hand.

This was going to end, and end for good.

"Back to _normal_?" I asked baffled. "My life was **hell **before she got here. You wanna know why?" I scowled as I looked at both KC and Jenna.

"Don't do it unless your ready. No one is forcing you too, Eli." Clare whispered from behind me.

I shook my head at Clare and sighed.

"No. I'm setting the cards down. Since you're all watching, I'll tell you who I **really **am." I told them as I let go of Clare's hand, peck her cheek before climbing onto a cafeteria table and standing up on it, feeling like a wave of déjà vu came over me as I remembered outing Alli's secret by standing on a table and here I was, outing my secrets.

"Eli, you don't need to prove yourself in front of everybody. It doesn't matter. None of it." Darcy hissed from down below with Clare by her side, both looking nervous.

I rolled my eyes and simply ignored, Darcy. I wasn't gonna back down.

"My name is, Eli Goldsworthy. _Elijah Daniel _Goldsworthy actually. I know what that name means to you. It means the high school's badass. The high school's ladies man. The high school's funny guy. You all think I have a happy and perfect life." I paused and looked around at the eyes all glued on me. "What you don't know is that I'm the farthest from that. You all think I was in that wheelchair because I 'got shot.' What you don't know is.." I paused and swallowed. "My dad did that to me." I said loudly.

Gasps and wide eyes from everyone besides Darcy and Clare was seen across the cafeteria.

"Yeah, my dad use to beat me okay? I don't mean a simple slap in the face, I mean he left me paralyzed by using a bat." I spat. "He controlled every move I made. You know all those parties I would go to and get wasted at? I would get a beating everytime I came home from those. Why? To keep my reputation around this place. I had broken ribs over and over again just to be accepted by _you _guys." I told everyone, as I looked down from everyone's shocked faces, I saw Riley's, which held hurt, but understanding. A look which was shining in Darcy and Clare's eyes as well.

"You think that's all?" I chuckled and looked around. "Not even close. You all know my best friend, Adam died right?" I asked everyone, gasps around the cafeteria by just mentioning his name, but everyone nodded.

"I tried to not let it affect me you know? For my best friend, Drew, Adam's older brother. You've seen him around here, the guy who does drugs and doesn't talk much?" I asked everyone.

No one even nodded, they were too in shock by my words already.

"Well, he doesn't even **talk **to me anymore. You guys don't know anything. ANYTHING about my life." I sneered hastily, but I could feel my eyes gather up and looked down at Clare who was trying to wipe away her tears, her eyes already puffy from crying, even Darcy had tears glistening in her eyes.

"I'd love to tell you that there is nothing else to say." I stopped as I felt some tears roll down my cheek. "When my grandparents and uncle died in a fatal car crash, that's when my dad lost it, he started beating my mom, and whenever I tried to stop him from hurting her, he just did it to me more and more often. Then my mom left five months ago. I didn't blame her." I murmured.

I sighed and sniffled, looked around to see Jenna's shocked face and I sighed more heavily, knowing her secret was about to be announced as well."You all know Jenna right? My 'girlfriend' right? Her and I made a deal." I told everyone, Jenna looked scared now, I knew she didn't want me telling everyone her secret, but I had too. "The deal was that, we'd be together if she would help me search the world for my mom and I'd.. I'd be a cover up for her considering Jenna never liked me, I let her use me to cover up her sexuality." I said loudly.

Now everyone was in even bigger shock.

"Jenna. You're a nice girl underneath all that hate you harbor. You're just like everyone else, afraid of what they'll think so you've made yourself look like a slut, but I know you pretty well. You're just a scared closeted lesbian. I won't say who you've been having an affair with, because that'll show pandemonium, but you're an alright girl." I told Jenna genuinely as I glanced at Bianca who was next to Jenna, both of them looking at each other nervous, their hands brushing up against each others, wanting to desperately grasp each others hands.

"There is no words to put how my life is. There's no way in telling how I'll turn out or who'll be by my side in five years, but one thing I know is.." I paused and looked down at Clare, who was looking up at me proudly. "Clare has kept me going this whole time. And go ahead and judge us, but judge us with a reason, not because you think you know us or our relationship. So KC." I looked over at KC to see him with no expression on his face. "Say what you need to say, because I don't live to please you or any one in this school anymore." I finished with my explanation.

KC stepped forward as I climbed down the table, he was clapping sarcastically.

"Bravo, dude. Bravo. Do you really think that sob story is gonna change who runs this school?" KC asked and scoffed. "I **run **this school, Goldsworthy." KC sneered.

I could feel Clare beside me, she grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together as she stood by my side, Darcy on my other side.

Darcy growled and looked at KC.

"Why don't you let them be?" Darcy exclaimed furiously. "Let _him _be?"

"Yeah. If Eli and Clare wanna be together, they sure as hell don't need your approval, KC." Riley sneered, I noticed that he was now on Darcy's side.

"He's right you know." I tell KC as I pulled Clare closer to me. "I wanna be with her and there's nothing you can do about it, KC." I sneered as I felt Clare squeeze my hand and I squeezed her back, earning a soft smile from her.

KC nods, his hands clenching and un-clenching.

"Alright, Goldsworthy. Go ahead and have it your way for a couple days. But don't worry, I'll make sure you regret this." KC spat and then looked at his posse. "Lets go!" KC snapped and soon the popular crowd followed him out of the cafeteria.

As soon as KC and his posse left the cafeteria, everyone else in the cafeteria burst into cheers and claps, I could feel myself growing hot as everyone looked at me with a new level of respect.

"Looks like they are on your side." Clare whispered, I looked down to see her smiling up at me.

I shake my head and smiled.

"No. _**Our **_side, Clare." I whispered.

Clare grinned broadly before throwing her arms around my neck and hugging me ecstatically as everyone in the room cheered and clapped even more.

We had done it, we really had done it.

* * *

_KC's Point of View: _

I tried to keep my anger calm and cool as we exited the cafeteria, I could hear the cheers and claps from my peers.

All those claps and cheers for _them. _

_Precious _and _perfect _Eli and Clare.

As we made it farther away from the cafeteria I stopped and pivoted, looking at Jenna in disgust, I'd have to deal with her later.

"Girls, ditch. I need to talk to the guys." I spat.

"But babe -" Jess, my new girlfriend, began, but I groaned.

"Not now, Jess." I said annoyed.

"Ugh fine. Come on girls." Jess said in a demanding tone she had gotten once she had started dating me, she snapped her fingers and the girls followed behind her as she left.

"We need to hit them where it hurts and that's Clare." I murmured lowly.

"Wait a minute." The new kid, Jake said. "We're not gonna hurt her are we?" Jake asked nervously, I rolled my eyes, obviously the new kid would care.

Owen chortled.

"The newbie's gonna back out already? Sad." Owen said with a smirk.

"But she's a girl. Isn't -" Jake began, but I groaned.

"Do you want in our group or not?" I asked him annoyed with his behavior already.

"Definitely." Jake said softly. "But what if we didn't go for her. What if we went for his best friend, that uhm.. Drew kid or whatever." Jake mentioned.

"That's actually not a bad idea." Fitz said. "Drew means a awful lot to, Eli even though they don't talk." Fitz said.

"What do you think, KC?" Dave asked as he looked at me.

I already had a million thoughts running through my head, I was indecisive.

I could go for Drew, a pretty easy target considering he isn't always with Eli, but then again, there is Clare, she's such a pushover, she'd fall for any trap, Eli would just need to be away from her to do so, which was probably gonna be a risky task.

* * *

_Jenna's Point of View: _

It was a hard task, eavesdropping, especially since now KC probably hated me for Eli giving out my secret.

That I was a lesbian.

At least he didn't give out my affair with Bianca, that would have been even worst, Owen would blow a gasket.

Soon I heard footsteps and I jumped from my hiding place only to be knocked down."Ugh! Watch where you're going!" I exclaimed in my fake nasally voice I had grown accustomed to the past couple years.

"Crap. Sorry, Jenna. You okay?" Darcy asked as she reached her hand out for me to grab, I stared at her hand and sighed, taking it in my own as she helped me up.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Darcy asked again.

"What? Me? Yeah, Yeah I'm cool. I'm okay." I stammered nervously.

Darcy looked at me oddly before I shook my head and brushed past her.

"Jenna! Jenna!" Darcy called out, but I simply ignored her, I had to ignore her.

I couldn't be around her, not when I had that feeling in my stomach.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

"Thanks man. For standing up for us. You didn't need to do that, but you did. So thanks." Eli thanked Riley once we were out of the cafeteria, Eli's hand still gripped mine tightly, I didn't wanna let go and I knew he didn't either.

Riley smiled and looked at both me and Eli.

"Don't worry about it man. I'm always gonna be here, tomorrow and even five years from now." Riley promised, Eli, which made his face light up in a smirk.

"You're a really good guy, Riley." I told Riley genuinely with a smile.

Riley smiled down at me.

"And you're a cool girl. I'm sorry so many people underestimated you, maybe now that you are with, Eli, people will get to know you." Riley said with hope.

I smiled and shrugged.

"Hopefully." I said as I looked up at Eli with a pure smile on my face.

"Hey Riley. Can you give me and Clare a second to talk, man?" Eli asked Riley and Riley nodded.

"Yeah man. Catch ya' later." Riley said before walking away.

I faced Eli and smiled.

"I still can't believe you did that." I told Eli incredulous at his speech in the cafeteria.

"Neither can I.' Eli said and he paused and looked down at me. "I saw you cry." Eli said in a softer tone.

I sighed and buried my face in my hands.

"Oh no. That's embarrassing." I murmured in a muffled voice.I could feel Eli pry my hands off my face and hold them in his own.

"Babe, why'd you cry?" Eli asked with concern in his voice."Promise you won't make fun of me?" I asked him.

Eli nods and smiles.

"Promise." Eli promises.

I sighed and squeezed his hands.

"I'm so proud of you." I whispered.

Eli didn't say anything, all he did was stare at me in shock.

"The guy I met on the first day of school would have never had the guts to do what you did, Eli. You _have _changed. I'm _**so **_proud of you." I murmured.

Eli still didn't say a word as he broke off our gaze and he started to look away nervously.

"I'm sorry." I paused. "I shouldn't have." I apologized.

Eli chuckled and shook his head.

"No. Its just that.. No one has ever told me they have been proud of me before." Eli said truthfully.

"Really?" I asked him.

Eli nods sadly.

"Yeah. I've waited my whole life to hear my dad say that to me, but he never has." Eli pauses and looks back at me. "But come to think of it. I wouldn't wanna hear it from anyone else, but you." Eli whispered in a sweet tone.

"How did I get so lucky?" I asked Eli with a smirk.

Eli chuckled and looked down.

"You didn't." Eli said and that caused me to giggle.

"I got lucky though. No doubt about that." Eli murmured as he brought my hand up to his mouth and lightly kissed it, making my cheeks redden with a blush, I threw my arms around his neck once more, burying my face in his neck, as I enjoyed this moment with him, this moment where's he's holding me so tightly that I don't wanna let go.

Ever.

* * *

Please review! I still love getting so many reviews!


	30. Somewhat Perfect

_Eli's Point of View: _

I felt warm bliss come over me as Clare was in my arms, her arms wrapped around my neck as she nuzzled her face into my neck, a creep of déjà vu came over me as I remembered that time she fainted in the cafeteria and I was the one who caught her, at the time I thought it was a stupid move, considering I got bitched at by KC's posse for catching her, but then I remembered finding her leaning against those lockers, like she was ready to die and I couldn't just _leave her there._

Yet here she was now, many months later, wrapped up in my arms and we were together. Hard to believe that I use to harbor hate for this girl, yet now, I was head over heels for her, I couldn't really see myself without her at this point to be honest, she'd been with me through so much, the thought of her just disappearing forever - it scared me.

Soon Clare unwound herself from me and sighed.

"Eli.." Clare said lowly, as she bit her lip. Something was definitely up with her now, I mean she was so blissfully happy a couple minutes ago and now she was nervous.

"I don't like the sound of that 'Eli'." I told Clare teasingly, hoping she'd smile at least, but it didn't work considering she had a frown on her small face.

"They said they were gonna make you regret it." Clare murmured nervously.

I rolled my eyes at Clare's comment, KC wasn't gonna pull anything, he was so dumbfounded, so stupid, he couldn't figure out a divergent plan even if it was right in front of him.

"I'm sure they didn't mean it, Clare." I reassured, Clare as I took both her hands in mine and rubbed circles on her hand with my thumb. "I'm sure KC and his little posse will get over this and soon things will be great, it'll be you and me, sweetheart." I told her with a genuine smirk.

But still, Clare was obviously worried, it was basically etched onto her forehead as it crinkled with worry.

"But, Eli. You know KC _has _to have what he wants whenever he wants it. And what he wants is you apart of his clique and I don't want him trying to hurt you." Clare murmured worryingly.

I sighed and brushed a piece of Clare's curls behind her ear.

"I _won't _get hurt, Clare. I can promise you that. I'm more worried about you actually, I don't want _them_-" I sneered on 'them' "Hurting you." I explained lowly.

"I'm just worried about what he's planning." Clare said nervously and she paused. "That group will do anything to tear us apart, Eli." Clare whispered.

As much as I hated those words, they were the truth, KC's clique really did want us apart, torn apart forever. But it wouldn't happen, I'd never let it happen.

"Listen here, Clare." I murmured as I grabbed both her hands in mine, smirking at bit at how shaky her hands were, she really _was _nervous then. "I've come all the way _here _for us. I'm not gonna let those low lives ruin what I've wanted for so long." I told her with a small smile.

Clare sighed and hesitated, but soon a smile spread across her face and she squeezed my hands.

"Okay, I trust you." Clare whispered soothingly.

I scoffed playfully and looked at her.

"Took ya' long enough to finally trust me." I teased her with a huge smirk.

Clare's face scrunched up and she let go of my hand and playfully punched my shoulder.

"Hey! I had my reasons, Goldsworthy!" Clare exclaimed as she held her small fist in her other hand, I noticed how it was red from her "punch", but I softly took her hand and held it up to my lips to kiss it gently. "But I'm glad all those reasons are finally out of the way." I murmured softly to her as I placed one more kiss on her slightly injured fist. A smile spread across Clare's face and lit up her beautiful blue eyes.

"I am too, Eli." Clare crooned as I let go of her hand.

"Now, I don't know about you, but I'm starving." I told Clare happily as Clare rolled her eyes."Nice way to ruin the moment." Clare said as she glared at me and I chuckled at her little burst of anger.

"Well, I'm sorry. This isn't 'The Folder' or whatever chick flick that's called." I told Clare with a annoyed expression.

Clare cocked her head oddly at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you mean 'The Notebook'?" Clare asked and I could feel my cheeks grow hot at messing up the title of the chick flick girls loved world wide.

"I guess so. I don't know, Never watched it before." I said with a slight shrug, trying my best to cover up my embarrassment with my cool.

"Maybe one of these days we can watch it together - That's if you're okay with it." Clare said shyly as she messed with the hem of her knee long dress.

I smiled and grabbed her hand, lacing our fingers once more.

"I'm okay with it as long as I'm with you, Clare." I murmured in Clare's ear as I bent forward to place a peck on her cheek, causing her to grow hot."Lets just go eat." Clare mumbled as she pulled me along to the cafeteria, where I could only imagine more bursts of clapping and appreciation was waiting.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

I groaned and stood up, away from Drew's grasp.

"You're not even giving this a second thought!" I exclaimed as I drove a hand through my thick black hair which was tousled from the wind today. I glanced down at Drew in frustration, I knew he wanted us together - Hell I wanted us together too, but it was way too soon for that. _Way, Way too soon. _"Our best friend just died!" I yelled at Drew, but immediately regretting the words as I saw Drew freeze up.

"And you happen to be in love with her, remember!" I exclaimed as I threw my hands up in the air exasperated. "She's gone, but the memory of her will always be with us, Drew! What kind of friends would we be if we just dated and acted like nothing happened!" I asked angrily.

Drew looked at me from my perspective now and he sighed heavily.

"I didn't even think of that, Alli." Drew murmured as he hung his head low. "I'm so sorry, Fiona." Drew whispered hoarsely and I could feel my heart break by his pain, but then it struck me, _What if Fiona was here? What if she was here listening in on our conversation? What if? _

"Please don't tell me, Fiona is here?" I asked Drew desperately and Drew shook his head.

"No she's not." Drew paused and rose off the bench, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "But I should go." Drew said lowly.

I sighed, regretting every word I had uttered to him, knowing it had caused him pain and to put his walls back up.

"Look Drew-" I began, but Drew shook his head as he shook his hoodie out from under his backpack and pulled it on.

"I think its safe to go back home now." Drew murmured. "I won't need to be staying at your place any longer." Drew added glumly as he started to walk away from me. "And you're right. We can't do that to Fiona. We can't be together and hurt Fiona like that." Drew said with a soft and sad shrug.

I quickly reached my hand out to him as if to grab him from walking away from me, I didn't want him wandering the streets alone, something bad can happen to me, this could be the last time I ever see him.

"Drew please-" I begged, but Drew just merely shook his head again.

"I get, Alli. Don't worry. And thanks for opening my eyes. Miley shouldn't deserve such thing as her two best friends dating each other, that's just _wrong." _Drew said a bit disgustingly, making my heart ache even more. "And maybe us being friends isn't a good idea either." Drew added which made me widened my eyes in complete and utter fear.

"Drew.. Please don't do this." I pleaded with him as tears started up in my eyes, I shouldn't have mentioned anything about Fiona, Drew and I would be together lovingly on the bench if not for my idiotic words.

"I guess I'll see you 'round school." Drew said with a tight lipped smile before turning around and leaving me alone at the carnival.

Completely and utterly alone.

* * *

_Darcy's Point of View: _

As I slung my purse over my shoulder, I walked into the cafeteria to see everyone so upbeat and happy, this was the happiest I had seen Degrassi in a long time, even as I returned back to the college to grab my lunch some people there had even seemed happy, it as odd, seeing everyone so happy and joyful after Eli's speech, it seemed to bring people closer.

I looked around the cafeteria, looking for Clare, and possibly Eli, since now they were a _thing, _a.. _couple? _It was odd thinking of Clare and Eli dating, then again, it wasn't, its been evident that they two harbored deep feelings for one another the past school year and with this school year coming to a close in a few weeks, Clare should be happy.

Quickly I saw Clare sitting with Eli at the 'reject table' as Alli had dubbed it before. Only those two were sitting there and they only had eyes for each other as they ate their lunch happily, at times, Eli would lean over and give Clare a messy kiss on the cheek, causing her face to scrunch up in disgust, but she would laugh afterwards.

It was like I was looking at the most perfect couple to exist at this school.

I sighed and approached their table with a small smile.

"Uhm, is it alright if I sit here?" I asked in a small voice as both Eli and Clare looked up at me, I noticed that Clare looked at Eli hopefully that he would allow me to sit there with them and Eli nodded.

"Yeah, Darce. You don't even need to ask." Eli said with a smirk as he bit into his sandwich he had in front of him, I noticed it was half of Clare's. They were such the stereotypical cute high school couple, but they did it in such a weird way, that they made it unique in a way.

"Eli? I uh.. I uh wanna apologize." I said lowly as I set my purse in front of me.

A grin flashed across Eli's face, as did confusion.

"We were in a fight?" Eli asked in mock confusion and in that moment I knew everything was gonna be fine and alright, no complications whatsoever now.

"Little brother?" I asked with my fist out like most of Eli's friends did when they greet them and Eli chuckled pounding his fist with mine.

"Big sister." Eli said in response with a smirk as he returned to eating his food.

"This is too good to be true." Clare whispered in amazement as she looked around especially looking at me and then at Eli.

Eli heard her whisper and he smiled, grabbing her hand and lacing their fingers, a movement that seemed so.. _perfect? _Eli then turned his attention to me and he cleared his throat."So uhm, Darce? As friend to friend, is it alright if I date, Clare?" Eli asked nervously as Clare stroked the back of his hand with her thumb, something he was doing to her earlier.

Clare sighed and looked at Eli.

"Eli, please. You don't need Darcy's approval for us to date - We're already dating." Clare said clearly, which made Eli smirk.

"Clare." I said in a stern demeanor. "Please, let me do my job." I said as I straightened out my blazer and looked at Eli whilst Clare was rolling her blue eyes.

"I don't know, Eli. What are your expectations from my baby sister?" I asked Eli seriously.

"Oh my Gosh." Clare groaned as she looked at me annoyed, "He's your best friend. Don't you know him well enough already, Darce?" Clare asked, I could tell she didn't want Eli to be interrogated right now, but this was just too much fun.

"You know, normally, a girl doesn't allow her best friend to date her little sister, but since you two have been through so much together and you make each other happy.." I trailed off as I pretended to gag a little at their overly cuteness.

"Gee thanks, Darce." Eli said teasingly as Clare giggled in response.

"You can date her." I told them both which made their eyes shine with happiness. "But break her heart, Goldsworthy and I swear, I'll break your scrawny little neck." I warned him seriously.

Clare nodded. "I think that sounds about fair." Clare agreed and she placed her chin on Eli's shoulder and smiled up at him.

"Even thought it won't ever happen." Eli said as he bent down to kiss Clare's nose, earning a giggle from her which made him smirk even more.

"But please, leave the cheesy shit at home or somewhere else where I'm not there." I said a bit grossed out by their public display of affection, that was cute, yet gross at the same time.

"Ouch. Someone needs a new vocabulary." Clare teased and stuck her tongue out at me, which I mimicked childishly.

"Oh, this is so joyous." Eli said with a smirk as he slid his arm around Clare's shoulder as she leaned her head into his shoulder.

Okay, maybe they weren't that gross, they were more.. _perfect._

* * *

_Fiona's Point of View:_

I couldn't believe what I had heard at the carnival.

After everything I had helped Drew through, he just threw it away because Alli was scared of me finding out and being hurt. You see, being hurt is the last of my worries, I happen to have a very good boyfriend right now. I never heard that there was anything wrong with dating a ghost who happened to be your boyfriend in the real world too, except we're both dead now, but anyway, Adam is all I care about, we've told each other everything, even covering Adam's little affair with Alli which I had somehow knew the whole time.

But this whole time I wanted Drew and Alli to be together, they'd help each other with their problems, but now Alli ruined it all, no surprise there, I snapped at myself.

I closed my eyes and thought of somewhere I wanted to be.

_I wanna be wherever Drew is. _I thought softly and after a few minutes I could feel myself disappear, being sucked through a hole, this feeling was gut wrenching the first time I had been through it now, it was sort of fun in a way.

I pummeled to the ground and groaned, of course there was no real pain, I felt nothing now that I was a Angel, but still, I'd prefer a lighter and dainty landing next time.

Although I soon became face to face with Drew as he was walking with his head hung low.

"_Where are you going?" _I asked him and he stopped in front of me and sighed heavily.

"No where." Drew replied blankly.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the bench, surprised I didn't fall through like I have countless times, I guess some of my Angel Training is starting to pay off.

"_No where?" _I asked Drew as I clicked my tongue. _"So you aren't gonna pull some weed out and smoke a blunt this instant?" _I asked him seriously.

Although this time, Drew didn't say a word, he just hung his head low and stared at his torn up shoes, shoes that were in desperate need to be cleaned or hell - He needed a new pair, when was the last time, Drew ever got new clothes? I sighed and looked up at Drew.

"_Drew, what happened? Usually when you're upset you run off to do some drugs." _I asked him softly, although I noted that Drew was growing angry.

"What else is there?" Drew shouted angrily. "You're not here! Adam isn't here! My family doesn't want me anymore! What the hell do you expect me to turn to?" Drew said furiously, his hands shaking with anger, he threw his backpack down on the ground and then turned to me, grabbing my arms as if he was gonna throw me down too, but his hands went through.

He.. He tried to hurt me.

Drew.. Drew who was always so playfully gentle was now trying to.. Hurt me?I looked up at him with terrified and scared eyes, hoping he'd know that he had scared me.

Drew just shook his head and grabbed his backpack slinging it over his shoulder as he began walking again, muttering nonsense to himself, I quickly stood up and in a flash I wished myself to be in front of him again and I was.

"_You were gonna lay your hands on me.." _I whispered as I looked into Drew's angry eyes, Drew stopped walking, but stared at me with a cold hard glare. I could feel nonexistent tears fill my eyes and I sighed heavily as I looked at him.

"_What have you turned into? The Drew I know would have never laid his hands on a girl. __**Never**__." _I murmured to Drew between the tears streaming down my face, even if those tears didn't exist, they still were tears, filled with pain.

"The Drew you know doesn't exist anymore, Fiona." Drew said firmly as his eyes started to fill with water. "Don't you get it? Don't _any _of you get it? I'm messed up. Stop trying to fix me. You're not going too, you'll just waste your time like, Adam did." Drew said through his anger and tears.

"_Baby, you were off to a start. You went to school, you were raising your grades. You cut off drugs.. What happened baby?" _I asked him sadly.

"I was wrapped in Alli. I didn't think of the real world around me. All that I've lost, and all that I can't gain. Reality hit me." Drew murmured as he wiped his tears away. "I can't have you. My brother is dead. My family doesn't want me." Drew sighed and shrugged. "My life is fucked up, Fiona." Drew whispered, but I could tell he wasn't done yet, not quite yet. "And I'll _leave. _I'll go to the other side of the world so all of you can leave me alone and finally realize you can't help me." Drew said firmly and seriously.

Now more fake tears were running full fledged down my face.

"I don't wanna hurt you. I don't wanna hurt _anyone. _I just wanna be left alone." Drew said with a pained voice and he looked at me for another second before continuing to walk down the street.

Now I was left alone again by him, I sighed and wished again.

_I wanna be back with Adam please. That's all I ask. _

And I got my wish, I found myself in a field of green grass, a field I was use too since I was always here, especially with Adam lately and soon I felt his arms around me, arms I could _feel. _I buried my face into his chest as I continued to sob and Adam stroked my hair.

"_At least you tried, sweetheart. At least you tried." _Adam soothed me the entire time.

And in this moment, I was happy I could spend eternity with him.

* * *

_Jenna's Point of View:_

I snatched my purse off the washroom sink at Degrassi and dug around until I found my phone in my hand, I quickly dialed KC's number, which I knew by heart into the phone and held it up to my ear, praying and hoping he'd answer.

"What is it, Jenna?" KC sneered, still obviously upset over the secret Eli had spilled. I knew KC would be pissed for a while, unless I denied my romantic preferences, which part of me didn't wanna do.

"Meet me in the boys locker room in five minutes." I told him rapidly as I tapped my nails against the white grimy sink.

"Why?" KC asked confused, I rolled my eyes and slung my purse over my shoulder as I marched out the girls washroom and down the familiar hallway that belonged to Degrassi."Just do it." I snapped as I shut my phone and stuffed it in my bra as I continued down the hall towards the guys locker room.

…

I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited around in the smelly and disgusting boys locker room, soon I heard the door open and KC emerged from the door and shut it behind himself.

"Okay, I'm here. What's the deal, dyke." KC spat, I cringed at the new nickname I was given.

"I know a way you can get Eli back." I told KC happily hoping that'd change his mind about me.

KC stiffened and checked the door and down the row of lockers to make sure no one was in the locker room before he approached me once more.

"Its nothing set in stone yet. We're still trying to work out some kinks." KC informed me.

"Glad you included me in your little scheme." I told KC sarcastically as I clicked the gum in my mouth.

KC chuckled and looked at me as if I was crazy."Jenna, you aren't serious are you? You used Eli to cover up your gayness. Now that he sold you out, you're on your own, dyke." KC said with a devious smile.

I looked at KC in shock and confusion.

"What did you just say?" I asked confused.

KC rolled his eyes.

"Alright. I'll say it again this time, only slower okay?" KC said mockingly. "You. Are. Not. Popular. Anymore." KC said slowly.

I looked at him in disbelief. Not popular anymore? I could feel my world sinking by the second.

"What! No, you can't do that, KC! What are the populars without me!" I exclaimed.

"Uh the populars?" KC said oddly and he shook his head as he got closer to me. "I'm sorry doll, you're just not cut out to be one of us anymore." KC said lowly and seductively and soon he pressed his lips against me surprisingly and I quickly shoved him off.

"What the fuck, KC! You can't do this! I slept with you whenever you wanted, even when I was with Eli! I was just as a big part of this group like you are!" I exclaimed despairingly.

KC sighed and shrugged.

"Aww babe. Is that what you're worried about? That I won't sleep with you anymore?" KC asked in a mock sad voice.

I groaned and shoved him farther away from me.

"Shove off, KC! Admit it! You aren't anything without me!" I pleaded with him furiously.

KC guffawed and headed for the door, but before he left he looked over his shoulder at me and smiled.

"I don't tell lies, dyke." KC smirked and then left the locker room pleased.

I groaned and crossed my arms across my chest.

"Big mistake, Guthrie. _Big fucking mistake_." I said lowly as a million thoughts crossed my mind.

Payback will be a bitch.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View: _

As Darcy pulled up to my abandoned and empty house I stepped out the car and leaned in through the open car door window.

"Thanks again for the ride, Darce." I thanked Darcy as she nodded with a smile as she started changing the radio station from my rock preference.

I noticed that Clare had gotten out of the car too and stood in front of me.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay here by yourself?" Clare asked concerned and I chuckled.

"Well I can walk now, so that's a definite plus." I said jokingly which made Clare smile.

"Okay then.. I'll see you tomorrow at school then?" Clare asked softly.

I nodded and continued to stare at her, stare at her eyes and Clare continued to stare at me too as if she was waiting for something.

"Tick tock. Tick tock." Darcy grumbled from inside the car and I quickly snapped out of my trance and struggled with my words.

"Yeah uhm. See you tomorrow." I told Clare nervously as I quickly kissed her forehead before heading up the path to my house when I heard Darcy and Clare's quick conversation."That was so lame." Darcy said loudly enough for me when I raised my hand and flipped her off as I walked up to my front door. I was sure she flipped me off right back.

"Be quiet, Darcy. It was cute." Clare said softly and I smiled to myself as I lowered my hand and entered my house.

A handful of memories and flashbacks came back to me as I stepped foot into the house, everything seemed nice and neat, nothing out of place or broken.

I took a deep breath as I entered the living room.

"Drew?" I asked out loud, but there was no one in the living room. I sighed and walked into the kitchen, expecting to see a high Drew in there munching on everything in sight, but there was no, Drew in there either.

"Guess its just be again." I murmured to myself as I faked a smile for no one but myself and grabbed cereal out of the cabinet as I sat down on the kitchen stool and ate the cereal out of the box like I use too when I was younger.

I sure wished I was younger.

* * *

Please review! I love reading all your reviews!


	31. Hiding The Truth

**A/N: Hey guys! I decided that I wanted to publish this part soon and well, I did! Sorry if there are any mixups in here like my last chapter, I need to maintain my focus sometimes! :)**

* * *

_Eli's Point of View: _

I don't think anyone understood the level of happiness I had right now. The past three weeks had been amazing and amazing is just an understatement really. I managed to get a beautiful girlfriend, a new level of respect from my peers who actually liked me after my story and KC's clique hadn't bothered me one bit.

Finals were finished up and the next couple days were just freebie days I supposed, days to sign yearbooks before going off for summer break, a summer I was sure to be filled with _many _dates with Clare.

As I strode into Degrassi I noticed Clare by her locker in an oversized hoodie which belonged to me, I remember loaning it to her a couple days after we became official since she was getting "cold flashes" as she described them, I just described them as "Its June and you're cold and its freaking me out and making me worried" but of course I never told her that, I just figured she had a poor circulation, but today was really hot for a day in Toronto and to see her in her pajamas _and _my large oversized hoodie made me amused, yet worried.

I strode up to her locker and leaned against the one next to hers and smirked.

"Too tired to get out of your pajamas this morning, Edwards?" I asked her teasingly as I chuckled.

Clare then turned around to face me, her face was drawn and long, she looked extremely tired. I noticed how red her face seemed and how bloodshot her eyes were. I felt my stomach flip upside down as I saw her look so.. Sick.

"What?" Clare asked hoarsely, as if it took all her strength to say that one word.

"Clare, are you okay? You don't look to good, babe." I addressed her with concern as her face just seemed to be draining color.

"I-I'm fi-fine." Clare stammered as her lips trembled and her hands shook, I noticed how pale her hands were, I couldn't tell if her face was pale just because it was so alarmingly red.

Instinctively I placed my hand on her forehead, feeling the burn under my fingertips, I could feel a wave of déjà vu come over me as I remembered the last time she looked this sickly was at school at the beginning of the school year.

"Sweetheart, you're burning up and your lips are trembling. You're sick, why didn't you stay home?" I asked her in a soft voice as I felt her cheeks as well to only feel the same burn I felt on her forehead.

Clare looked up at me with dead and blank eyes, her expression showed she was scared - terrified even.

"E-Eli.. I-I-I can't fee-feel my leg." Clare choked out as she lost her balance.

I quickly caught her before she could fall to the ground, I could only feel my heart beat quicken as I heard her whimper in fear, as I caught her and had her use me as support.

"Sweetheart, you can't be here today. I'm taking you to the nurse, alright? You're not okay right now, babe. You'll be home, in your bed, you'll be fine." I told her soothingly as I scooped her up in my arms and she buried her head into my neck, whimpering and crying as peers around us looked at us alarmed at Clare's collapse, but I ignored them as I held onto Clare tightly, trying my best to think what could do this to her.

* * *

_Darcy's Point of View: _

I rushed in through the doors of Degrassi as soon as I received Eli's worried text.

**Eli Goldsworthy**

**Something's wrong with Clare, I don't know what it is, but she collapsed in my arms and I'm scared, Darce. You need to come to Degrassi, at least to the nurses office. Please.**

I'd never received such a worried text from Eli ever. Even when his dad was still alive and beating him, Eli never texted me saying he was hurt, only once did he call me and it was out of desperation. But this text was pertaining, Clare, and already him being worried and concerned over her was breaking my heart.

I burst through the nurses office to see Eli sitting in the little plastic chairs outside the room that Clare was in, his head in his hands as he looked down at the ground.

"What happened?" I asked him breathlessly, Eli's head shot up and I noticed how color had drained out of his face too.

_He's so worried. _I thought to myself, I just felt so bad for him. Whatever happened to Clare - It hurt him just as bad.

"Darce, did Clare seem sick to you this morning?" Eli ask worriedly.

Shit. I knew exactly what was wrong with her now, it was just another one of her moments of the HIV winning in her body. Of course, Eli didn't know that, I knew Clare would be afraid of telling him, to tell your boyfriend that you're gonna die? How could someone even do that.

I sighed heavily and adjusted my purse strap on my shoulder.

"I asked her if she was okay and she assured me she was alright and that she didn't wanna miss school." I informed Eli. It was classic Clare. Bearing with the pain just to go to school.

"Darcy, she collapsed." Eli said despairingly, the worried lines were etched into his forehead as he informed me. "She has a fever - She's sick.. But what kind of fever does that to a person?" Eli asked.

I wanted to desperately tell Eli how Clare had HIV, tell him the whole story, he deserved to know, the poor kid was scared shitless in front of me over Clare, a girl he was madly in love with, even if he hasn't realized that he loves her - I have. But I couldn't betray, Clare like that, go behind her back and tell Eli her darkest secret. Eventually she'll tell him and hopefully, he'll be understanding of it all.

"I don't know, Eli." I informed Eli, only to see his face fall even more. "Can I go in to see her before she goes home?" I asked Eli.

Eli shrugged and slunk down into the plastic chair and put his head in his hands once more.

"When I went in there she was fast asleep, but you can always try." Eli mumbled. I sighed and gave his shoulder a little squeeze before walking into the nurse's office where I saw Clare's body laying down on the small cot, she was wearing Eli's oversized hoodie, and had a thick blanket draped over her body as she tossed and turned on the cot.

"Clare?" I asked softly as I stood by her cot, with her eyes closed, Clare hummed a soft.

"Mhm?"

"Why did you lie to me this morning? What happened?" I asked her urgently as I set my purse down by my feet and I looked at Clare's pale and frail body.

My baby sister looked so sick and frail before me, she was only fifteen, almost sixteen, she had how many years left? Six.

Six years of her being left on this planet before she died, and this was only the beginning of it all. These fevers would progressively get worse and higher, her circulation will become poorer, she'll get sicker often as her immune system shuts down, by the time my baby sister is twenty one, she'll be looking dead - she will be dead. I blinked rapidly at the thought of Clare dying, I couldn't picture it, her dead. It was too much for me to even imagine let alone experience six years from now.

Clare slowly opened her eyes as she looked up at me, her eyes starting to water and slowly small tears formed at the edge of her eye and trailed down her cheek, she didn't utter a single word to me.

I sighed and gently wiped her small tears away and gave her a soft warm smile.

"Hey, its okay. I'm not mad, Clare. Don't cry." I told her soothingly as I softly stroked her hair.

Clare sighed and she looked at me with painful blank eyes, eyes that were usually filled with happiness, especially now that she's with Eli, I haven't seen her with a frown in weeks.

"Darcy.." Clare murmured as she sat up weakly with my help and looked back at me. "Eli still doesn't know.." Clare whispered lowly, knowing Eli was just outside the door, either listening in onto our conversation or in his own little world.

I nodded much to Clare's surprise.

"I know, Clare. I can tell he doesn't know yet. The poor kid is worried sick out there about you right now. You _need _to tell him." I told Clare seriously, if someone slipped up or Eli found out some other way that his girlfriend was dying of HIV.. He'd be a mess, a bigger mess if Clare doesn't tell him herself.

"I know, I know." Clare agreed, but she shook her head. "But I just can't tell him, Darce. I don't wanna break him." Clare whimpered as more tears streamed down her face.

"I know you don't wanna break him, Clare. But he deserves to know, especially since he's told you _everything _about his life even when he didn't need to." I told Clare as her bottom lip quivered.

Despite that I knew where Clare was coming from, I couldn't help but feel a bit angry at how Clare is possibly planning to keep it from him.

"How could you keep this from him, Clare?" I exclaimed at Clare. "He.. He fell for you. Fell head over heels for you, I think he deserves to know that you're.. you're dying." I said in a hush whisper.

"You don't think it hurts keeping this from him?" Clare exclaimed hoarsely and ending up in a fit of coughing as she did so.

I could clearly hear Eli groan from outside as he heard Clare's coughs, _this _is why Clare needed to tell him, the kid is gonna drive himself insane over Clare's health.

I sighed and soothingly rubbed Clare's back as her fit of coughing stopped and she looked up at me with scared blue eyes.

"Darcy.. I'm so scared." Clare admitted in a small whisper.

I sighed, feeling all my anger wash out of me as I sat down next to Clare and wrapped my baby sister in my arms, soothingly rubbing her back and kissing her reddish brown curls.

"I know, Clare. I am too." I told her while my voice was on the verge of breaking.

"Why… Why did this have to happen to me, Darce?" Clare asked while she sobbed into my chest, I could feel my heart breaking and tears welling up in my eyes, Clare had never been so open with her HIV until now, only because it needed to be addressed, that and her feelings about it.

"Hey, everything happens for a reason right?" I said as I tried to lighten the mood, but to no avail.

"Please don't tell me that unless you _have _a reason." Clare said in a muffled voice as she began shaking again, I could only hold my baby sister tighter, I knew that every minute in the next six years was precious to me if it involved Clare.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View: _

It seemed like days as I waited outside the nurses' office to see if Clare was gonna get home safely, I wouldn't leave - I refused to leave until I saw she was safely with someone like Helen or Darcy as she goes home, I wouldn't leave her here by herself.

That fever though, her fever was what worried me the most, what kind of fever does that? Makes a person lose temporary feeling in their leg and collapse? Darcy knew something though, I could tell in the way she hesitated briefly before telling me that she didn't know what was wrong with Clare, but she did, this wasn't some common cold or the flu, something was wrong with her, but I just didn't know what it was.

I sighed and stood up as I approached the nurse at the nurses' desk.

"Excuse me? Is Clare Edwards going to be returning home safely today?" I asked her politely, she was taken aback by my politeness, but nodded nonetheless.

I could feel myself being a bit relieved to know in less than a hour Clare would be home safe and well taken care of while I was here at school. But part of me was still overly worried about her health.

"And she just has a typical fever?" I asked the nurse, hoping she'd say yes, that Clare did have a typical fever and the heat was just adding to it, that I was overreacting and that my girlfriend was just fighting cold, that's what I wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to release that kind of personal information." The nurse told me blankly.

_Personal information? _So this wasn't just a common cold, she was sick, and when I meant sick, she was seriously sick.

I just.. I needed to know, I needed to know so that I could make her better.

"What personal information? I was just asking a question.." I said softly, but the nurse shook her head, having none of this.

"I'm sorry. I can't answer your question, Mr. Goldsworthy. Just please sit down." The nurse said as she returned to typing away on her computer.

I sighed as I returned to sit back in my stupid plastic chair, million thoughts running through my mind.

Although quickly Darcy came out of the room and approached me, I quickly stood up as I took in her disheveled appearance.

"Helen's coming by to pick her up and take her home." I informed Darcy and Darcy nodded.

"Alright. That's good. Can you uh.. Stay with Clare until Helen gets here? I need to go back to my morning class." Darcy said as she edged towards the door, I nodded.

"Yeah, of course, I'll stay with her, Darce." I said softly.

"Thanks, Eli." Darcy murmured before leaving the nurses' office and I swear I could hear her crying from outside.

* * *

_Adam's Point of View: _

I watched from afar as Drew let out a long shaky breath as he stuffed his injection needle in his backpack as he sat across from my gravestone, drops of blood seeping through his needle wound on his left forearm.

"You said I'd be okay." Drew murmured in a haze as he stared at my grave blankly.

I didn't say a word, I could only feel tears well up in my eyes.

Fiona was right, Drew was spiraling down deeper and deeper into a state of depression and drug abuse.

Eventually he would.. _die. _

I couldn't allow that to happen, he isn't ready yet, not like me or Fiona, he isn't ready yet and won't be for a goddamn long time.

"_You don't know what I'd give to be with you guys again. To be alive and free. And you.. You're just sitting there.. Killing yourself." _I murmured lowly.

Slowly Drew's eyes fluttered closed, he was so close to death at times.. I could just feel the coolness in the air.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View: _

I stared down at my shaky palms as Darcy left the room to return back to her classes, I sighed and could only feeling my bottom lip quiver even more.

_Why wasn't this medication working? It always works. _I snapped at myself. I could only feel myself growing weaker and weaker and it wasn't the most pleasant feeling in the world.

Soon I heard the door open and close and footsteps retreat to my bedside and I looked up under my ruffled bangs to see Eli was here, he was still here. I thought I had heard him outside the door during my coughing fit.

"How are you feeling?" Eli asked quietly as he sat down next to me, draping the thick blanket around my shoulders this time as I sat cross legged on the cot. "I've been better." I told him glumly as I continued to feel myself shake.

I felt Eli's hand brush past my flaming cheek and brush a stray curl behind my ear and he smiled - but the smile didn't touch his eyes like his smiles usually do, it was masking some sort of fear or worry.

"Hey. You just need some rest, some sort of cold medication and some soup and I'm sure you'll be better in a few days." Eli said assumingly. I sighed, feeling even worse as he thought this was some cold I had caught. But I nodded nonetheless to make him feel better, anything to make him not worried.

"And I'll come to your place straight after school to see how you're doing. Maybe rent that 'The Notebook' movie and we can watch it together. Anything to make you feel better." Eli said with a smirk.

"But what about, Drew? Doesn't he live with you now? Don't you need to see if he's okay?" I asked Eli. I knew if Eli came to visit me, I'd only be worse and I didn't want him worried anymore than he already was.

Eli merely shrugged but the concern on his face grew.

"I haven't seen him in weeks actually." Eli said lowly as he grabbed my hand and cupped it over his mouth, trying his best to warm my frozen fingers.

"But don't you worry about him, Eli? About where he's been and what he has been doing?" I asked Eli in a rapidly hoarse voice.

"It shouldn't matter what I think, plus I'm more worried about you and how you're feeling right now, sweetheart." Eli murmured as he proceeded to warm my next hand.

"Eli. He's seventeen years old and a drug addict. Don't you think you need to be in his life?" I told Eli in a small voice.

"Why does it even matter, Clare? He doesn't want me in it." Eli said venomously as he sighed and kissed my now warm fingertips.

"I'm sure Adam wants you in it." I whispered to Eli.

Eli looked at me oddly.

"Adam?" Eli asked carefully, his voice quivering.

"He knows what both of you are going through, Eli. He's been watching over you two. I'm sure its _breaking _him to know that his older brother and best friend aren't the same and okay." I explained sadly.

Eli softly let go of my hand and sighed as he stood up and ran a hand through his tousled brownish black hair.

"I need to get to class." Eli murmured as he looked at me with a blank expression.

"Alright.. Thanks for staying with me." I murmured softly.

Eli sighed and nodded before rushing out of the room.

I just wanted him back in here, holding me, telling me everything was gonna be alright.

But that couldn't happen. Not now with Drew and Adam on his mind.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

As I rushed from Clare's room, I remembered that I didn't even give her a goodbye kiss of any sort, but as I was going to return to the room, a flashback hit me,

"_Go long dude!" I shouted as I readied myself to throw the football across my living room towards Drew who's hands were open wide for the catch._

"_Throw it bro!" Drew exclaimed, his hands open for the catch._

"_Its only a matter of time before one of you dumb asses break something." Adam said sarcastically from his spot on my couch, I rolled my eyes at my best friend._

"_Nah. Won't happen man." I told Adam as I threw the football towards Drew._

"_I got it! I got it!" Drew shouted as he looked up for the football._

"_Drew! Look out dude!" Adam shouted, but before Drew could respond, he crashed into my parents vase and it crashed all over the floor, pieces everywhere._

"_Nice going dumbshit!" I said with in a fit laughter as Drew's face grew scared at the broken vase._

"_Just shut it and start helping me with the pieces, Goldsworthy." Drew spat teasingly as he bent forward to pick up the broken vase._

"_And Adam gets it right again. 47 for Adam. 0 for Eli and Drew." Adam said playfully from the couch once more, a smug look across my best friend's face._

"_What the hell did you guys break this time?" Bullfrog grumbled loudly as he stumbled drunk into the living room, bringing in the stench of whiskey._

"_Dad.. It was just an acc-" Before I could even finish my sentence, Bullfrog stood in front of me and raised his hand to slap me, but Adam stood in front of me and took Bullfrog's slap, which just left me speechless._

"_They were just messing around, Mr. Goldsworthy!" Adam exclaimed as he rubbed his bright red cheek._

"_Adam, move out of the way." Bullfrog sneered as his eyes locked with mine, like daggers._

"_No! You always hit him, Mr. Goldsworthy! Eli doesn't deserve that, he deserves niceness not abuse!" Adam shouted._

_Oh he did it._

_Before I could grab Adam and drag him away, Bullfrog grabbed Adam by the neck and dragged him to the kitchen._

"_Fucking little tranny. Bringing your kind into my house. Fucking up my sons mind." Bullfrog huffed from the kitchen as I heard Adam's screams and whimpers._

I quickly snapped out of my flashback and realized I was in the middle of the hall now, I needed to find Drew's class.

History right? I quickly found Mr. Perino's class and didn't see Drew sitting in his desk.

Where the fuck was he?

I looked down the hall and saw that no one was approaching, so I bolted for the door.

I had to find my best friend.

…

Time and time had passed and I still hadn't found, Drew. I had no clue where the bastard would be.

I stood clueless on the sidewalk, where would Drew be?

"_He's at my grave." _A familiar voice whispered, I whipped my head around looking for the voice, but coming face to face with nothing.

But that voice.

I knew that voice."Adam?" I whispered.

"_Again. He's at my grave.. Dumb ass." _The Adam voice had said."Adam? Is that.. Is that you?" I asked out loud, but got no response.

So it was Adam.

Clare was right, oh dear fucking God, Clare was would definitely earn some kisses and a night watching cheesy chick flicks with me for this one as I ran down the familiar streets, knowing where the cemetery was.

* * *

_Jenna's Point of View:_

As I continued to shake the negative pregnancy test, I thought to myself how brilliant this plan really was.

Soon I looked back down and sure enough, I had a positive pregnancy test, I smirked to myself.

"Just as I thought. Perfect." I whispered as I smiled.

I stuffed the pregnancy test in my bag and slung my purse over my shoulder as I left the washroom and headed down the hall to my new "baby daddy's" class.

Oh KC Guthrie, you will pay.

…

I rapped on Ms. Quincy's classroom door quickly awaiting for her to open it and when she did she sighed.

"Ms. Middleton. I'm teaching a class and you're disrupting it." Ms. Quincy said annoyed.

"Let me remind you, Ms. Quincy that these are the last two days of school, so you aren't teaching anything, if anything you're allowing your class to run amuck and do what they please. I can always tell Principal Simpson how you're poorly running your class. His office is down the hall, Ms. Quincy." I told Ms. Quincy with a devious smile.

Ms. Quincy hesitated and then sighed.

"What do you need, Jenna?" Ms. Quincy asked as she leaned against the doorframe.

"I need to borrow KC Guthrie right now, please." I told Ms. Quincy in a stern tone, Ms. Quincy rolled her eyes and walked back into the classroom.

"Mr. Guthrie. Someone is outside to see you." Ms. Quincy informed KC.

KC turned around in his seat and chuckled.

"Is it a girl? If so does anyone have a rubber to spare?" KC asked smugly around his clique, earning some high fives and some knuckle punches.

"Just go outside, Mr. Guthrie." Ms. Quincy said frustrated as she sat down at her desk with a groan."Oh don't be so down, Ms. Quincy, you know I'll come back for you." KC crooned, earning some whoops from his peers.

KC walked outside the classroom and shut the door behind himself as he looked at me and groaned.

"Again, Jenna? Just give it up, you'll never be popular again, baby." KC cooed teasingly.

"You better let me back into your clique, KC. Or I'll tell everyone you're gonna be a.." I cleared my throat and let out a giggle. "Baby Daddy." I told KC clearly.

KC was seriously off guard as he looked at me with wide scared eyes.

"No.. N-No. I'm not gonna be a father. That's never gonna happen." KC stammered nervously as he saw how serious I was.

I smiled smugly and reached into my purse to pull out the positive pregnancy test.

"The test says you are. So are you gonna let me back into the group, KC or will you suffer my consequences of downfall off the popular ladder?" I asked KC with a smirk as his eyes widen and a sweat broke across his forehead.

This was too good to be true.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

As I reached the graveyard, I jumped across some graves and darted between them, which I'm sure is a rude gesture in some eyes, but I needed to find Drew.

As I made it to Adam's grave, I saw Drew leaned against the tombstone, his eyes closed and his injection needle poking through his backpack.

I sighed heavily at Drew's sudden relapse and proceeded towards him, slinging his backpack over my shoulder and picking him up in my arms as I walking out of the area that had Adam's grave, I could Drew start to stir.

"No.. No.. Please not him too - He's all I got lef..left.. Don't take him.. Clare would be so sad.. Please no.." Drew mumbled hoarsely from his place in my arms.

"Don't worry dude. I'm not gonna go anywhere. I promise you and Clare. I'm not gonna go anywhere." I promised as Drew drifted back into his drug induced sleep.

I could only fight back tears as I walked out the cemetery as I carried Drew home - home as in my house, our house.

Things were gonna change around here, big time.

* * *

**Please review! It would mean a lot, I love reading all your reviews! :)**


	32. Ruining Him

**A/N: I've been noticing how you all constantly ask questions in your reviews, and I really wanna message you all the answers, but instead I'll give out my tumblr, which is r i s a l i k e s k 3 n n a . t u m b l r . c o m (Take out of the spaces). Don't be afraid to ask any questions in my ask box on tumblr pertaining to the story or other fanfictions, or you can even strike up a conversation with me as well, I'm always on my tumblr. Also if you have a tumblr, feel free to follow me. (: **

**Alright, so now onto chapter thirty two.**

* * *

_Eli's Point of View: _

Who knew carrying a 130 pound seventeen year old from a cemetery to my house would leave me so goddamn exhausted.

Once I dumped Drew's drug induced sleeping ass on my couch, I groaned and fell into the armchair not too far away from the couch.

I've been to hell and back today and I would not mind taking a handful of sleeping pills just to knock me out for the rest of the day.

But my plans were cancelled once I heard Drew groan and look over in a daze. "What… Why am I here?" Drew asked drowsily as he took in the sight of my living room."I found you by Adam's grave, I thought I'd take you back to my place and we'd talk." I told Drew lowly as Drew looked at me oddly.

"Talk to me? I thought you'd be pissed at me, or be in your high school glory to talk to me." Drew said as he stretched as he sat up.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed.

"High School glory? Dude that's all gone now. I have no high school glory. Gave it all up." I told Drew, popping my lips at the 'p' part.

Drew gave me a shocked look, and then I suddenly remembered that he's been off on his own on the streets for the past three weeks, of course he didn't know about my speech and about how I was with Clare now.

"Long story short, I came out to the school about everything - Dad's abuse, how I lied about who I am. All of that." I told him truthfully.

"Wait.. Why? Dude you had everything. _Everything._" Drew told me in a knowingly tone, but I merely rolled my eyes.

"I didn't have _Clare_, Drew. I didn't have her and it was killing me. But now I have her and she has me. I'm so fucking happy now, a little worried because she's sick now, but I'm happy that everything is going so great." I told Drew with a small smile, sure I lied a bit, I wasn't completely happy now that Clare is sick and its scaring me greatly, but I won't indulge into that.

Drew just stayed quiet for a while, nodding as everything sunk in for him and then his eyes laid on my legs which were shaking like they normally do when I'm nervous.

"Dude.. Your legs.." Drew said surprised as he stared at my legs in wonder, I looked at him and smirked.

"Therapy can actually work you know. I probably threw them out by carrying your heavy ass from a cemetery to my couch - but its okay." I told Drew with a shrug as I leaned my elbows onto my knees and let my hands dangle.

Silence danced around us and I sighed heavily and looked back up at Drew who was messing around with his watch around his wrist."You need help, Drew." I murmured lowly, Drew looked at me and shook his head quickly as he stopped fumbling with his watch.

"I don't _need _help, Eli. Maybe you and everyone else needs help if you think I need help." Drew sneered and I sighed and shrugged.

"Maybe I do need help. Maybe everyone needs help, but Drew, look at you. You're a drug addict. You keep relapsing. You just won't stop.. You **need **to stop." I explained to him sternly and Drew glared at me.

"**No **I don't need help. I'm not a drug addict." Drew spat

I rubbed my temples, this wasn't gonna be easy, I'd have to bring the big guns out.

"Don't do it for me. Or for Alli. Do it for Adam and Fiona. They're fucking watching you kill yourself slowly and I guarantee you that they are so disappointed and upset watching you do this. Stop being a pussy, stop being a druggie and listen to me when I say, you need help - you're getting help over summer. You're going to rehab." I told him in a demanding tone and he looked at me in utter shock, I was no longer going to sit around and watch Drew fall apart, he was getting help and he was getting it now.

"No. You can't make me go to rehab.. You-you can't make someone go to rehab." Drew stammered nervously.

I shrugged and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

"What are you doing?" Drew asked lowly as he noticed me touching the touch screen on my phone.

"Calling the cops. Saying I have a guy in my house who has illegal drugs in his bag. They'll take you away and get you help that way, Drew. Either you go to rehab willingly or I'll make you go unwillingly. What do you want, Drew?" I asked him seriously.

Drew bit his lip nervously as he rocked back and forth on the couch."I..I.." Drew stuttered, not sure what to say."Willingly or unwillingly. Tell me now, Drew." I murmured, my phone still in my hand, I can easily call 911 and have them take Drew, if it gets him help, I'll do it.

"Fine fine. Willingly. I'll go to rehab willingly. Just don't call the cops." Drew mumbled as he had a hand clasped on the back of his neck, rubbing it nervously.

I smiled and stuffed my phone back in my pocket.

"Good choice dude. Now I'm gonna take your "stash" and throw this shit out. Then I need to see someone. If I come home and you're either high or you're gone, I'll call 911. I'm warning you bro." I warned Drew as I snatched his stash bag which was next to him, Drew nodded and turned the television on to a hockey game. As I grabbed the bag from its handle and was about to walk out the door I heard Drew mumble.

"Thanks."

I smirked and turned around to face him.

"Your welcome." I whispered before I quickly left the house, passing by the huge garbage can and dumping Drew's stash bag in there as I pulled my car keys from my pocket, feeling a bit of happiness come back.

* * *

_Jenna's Point of View:_

"You're gonna fake a pregnancy?" KC asked baffled as he looked at me and the positive pregnancy test.

"I won't have to unless you let me back into the group again, I hate having to eat lunch by my locker everyday. I want my spot back at the table, I don't like that Katie Matlin girl sitting there." I sneered at KC.

KC scoffed and looked at me smugly.

"But you can't prove its mine though. Remember? You've had sex with Goldsworthy as well. I could say its his kid." KC said with a smirk, but I already knew how to answer this without hesitation.

"True, but I haven't had sex with Eli in MONTHS, KC. You on the other hand, the most recent I've had sex was a month ago with you, I could say I missed my period, I've been throwing up, I could even fake a sonogram, anything to make your popularity dwindle downward into hell." I sneered and I realized that I was gripping his shirt and looking at him crazily. "Let me back in, _now. _Or I swear to God, Guthrie, life will be hell for you. I don't care, whatever it takes." I growled.

KC looked at me nervously and then sighed heavily, before gently pushing me away from him and I let go of his shirt.

"Fine.. You're back in. Just get rid of that test and don't tell anyone about a pregnancy. That's just gonna ruin everything, Jenna." KC said numbly as I was about to flick the test into the garbage bin near, I decided to push this a bit further.

"We're not done yet, KC." I told him with a edge on my voice as he looked at me with wide eyes, not saying anything more. "I want in on this revenge thing with Eli and Clare. So.. Let me in and you'll never have to worry about this ever again." I told KC as I waved the test in front of his face, KC gulped and looked down.

"Jenna.. Its only really gonna be me, and the boys. We don't need you there." KC mumbled and I scoffed.

"Fine then, have it your way." I sneered as I pulled my phone out and tapped the twitter button.

"What are you doing?" KC asked nervously as he saw me typing away furiously on my phone.

"Oh just telling everyone via twitter that you're gonna be a baby daddy." I murmured as I typed out.

**KCGuthrie_92 **_Can't wait till we have our baby together! Maybe at lunch we can think up a name together? (; _

KC snatched my phone from me and quickly backspaced the tweet, erasing it all.

"Okay. Fine. You can be in it. Just stop with this fake pregnancy deal, its freaking me out." KC said nervously as he tugged at his beanie on his head.

I smirked smugly at him as I tossed the test in the bin and looked at KC with a smile.

"We haven't exactly figured out a way to hurt Eli or Clare or possibly Drew. We're still figuring stuff out. So nothing major. Just keep this on the down low." KC said lowly, I nodded understanding him.

I decided that I had tortured the awful soul that was KC Guthrie enough for today and I softly smiled at his confused and scared expression, an expression KC rarely wears.

"Catch you later, KC." I said softly as I trailed my fingers along his chest, teasing him, before walking off down the hall and I swore I could hear him talk some shit behind my back as I clicked my heels down the hall, but I didn't care, I was back in the group and apart of the plan to hurt Eli and Clare, I was possibly too happy.

This was all too easy.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View: _

I went through the morning and afternoon in a bit of a feverish daze, I knew I couldn't sleep well as it was taking my medication longer to kick in, my fever had managed to go down quite a bit, but I could still feel the pounding headache instead my head, the drumming making my eyes ache and my temples scream out in pain.

My mind was often wondering through my feverish daze though, it would run back to my conversation with Eli today. Scolding me on being too hard on, Eli, which in a way I guess I was being, but I needed him to know that Drew needed to be saved and that Drew deserves Eli's attention. Even if I did have to bring up Adam, it was the only way he'd listen.

It seemed like we had ended our conversation badly this morning, which we did, but at least I hoped he went out to find Drew and at least found Drew as well during the progress.

I felt myself dozing back into sleep when my bedroom door opened, I suspected it to be Helen or Darcy checking up on me like they were doing often today, but the footsteps were heavier then Helen and Darcy's, I quickly opened my eyes to see it was Eli in front of me with a small smile on his face as he knelt down on his knees so he could be at eye level with me as I was curled up on my left side and I looked into Eli's green eyes a little shocked he'd come here after our little fight this morning, but instead he reached his hand forward and felt my face for the fever like he did earlier and the touch of his cool fingers against my skin felt blissful that I closed my eyes at the touch.

"That feels good." I murmured almost inaudibly as his fingers trailed from my forehead to my cheeks and I heard him sigh."How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Eli whispered softly as I opened my eyes once more to see his face was masked with concern and worry as he tried to analyze my face.

"A bit better from this morning, I still feel awful though." I croaked as I saw Eli purse his lips and he stood up as he strode to the other side of my bed which was filled with pillows and an extra blanket Darcy had set there earlier, Eli moved some pillows out the way and kick his shoes off as he climbed into the bed next to me, I sat up in bed and soon a wave of vertigo hits me and I felt like falling back against the pillows, but I felt Eli carefully pull me over to him as I leaned my head against his chest and closed my eyes as I could hear his quickening heartbeat under my ear.

Soon I could feel Eli wrap the extra blanket around me as well and I enveloped in warmth as he held me close, his arm around my shoulders as he leaned his head against mine.

"I'm sorry you feel this way, baby." Eli crooned as he kissed the top of my head softly and I sighed opening my eyes as I started to mess with the hem of his tee shirt.

"Its not your fault I'm sick. So don't apologize. Just stay here with me.. That's all I ask." I whispered hoarsely to him, Eli nodded in response and held me closer.

Although I didn't fall asleep, I could tell he was tense and his heartbeat was quickening by the minute, he needed to get something off his mind, or it seemed he would explode.

"You alright?" I murmured as I grabbed his free hand which was laying carelessly across his lap, his usual pale skin tone was darker than mine surprisingly as I was extremely pale right now.

"Yeah.. I'm just.. Nervous." Eli muttered softly as he intertwined our fingers together and squeezed my fingers gently.

"Nervous about what?" I asked him softly as I leaned more into his embrace.

"Just about Drew, my family and.. You." Eli murmured and I could feel my heart break when I heard how painful his voice was when he said 'you'.

"Did you happen to find, Drew?" I asked Eli, trying to change the subject from myself and Eli sighed and nodded as he smoothed his thumb over my hand nonchalantly.

"Yeah. I found him by Adam's grave actually. That's actually one of the reasons I came over here, was to thank you because you were right." Eli informed me as he placed a long kiss on my scorching forehead, but he didn't seem to mind the heat under his lips. "Adam is watching over me and Drew. I swear I heard him - You might think I'm crazy, but it was.. It was _his _voice and he told me to go to his grave because Drew was there and sure enough.. There was Drew, passed out from drugs on Adam's grave. I just needed to thank you for giving me that talk in the nurses' office because without that talk I wouldn't have found Drew." Eli explained with a bit more happiness in his voice.

I slowly turned my aching body around so I could face Eli and I smiled weakly at him as I wiggled my hand free from his grip and placed it on cheek, lightly cupping his cheek.

"You're welcome, Eli. I'm always happy to help you." I said softly as I stroked his cheek and Eli closed his eyes slowly and moaned softly at the touch of my hand to his cheek, I could feel a blush creep over my cheeks as I realized that I had made someone moan from an action I've done, I've never managed to do that before and it was odd, yet new and exciting.

Although Eli quickly opened his eyes and he stared into my deep blue eyes and grabbed my hand from his cheek and placed it on my own cheek and I could feel my feverish cheek under my cold fingertips."Feel that?" Eli asked and I nodded, a bit confused as if to why he'd make me feel my own fever when I knew perfectly well that I already had one. "That's what's worrying me the most here, Clare. Sure Drew worries me at times, but he's a grown guy, he can at times be trusted, obviously not now, but Drew doesn't worry me as much as you worry me. Any scratch, any pain, _anything _that happens to you puts me in crazy worry and concern. Like right now, you're scaring me _and _worrying me, I can't tell if this is just a cold and I'm overreacting or if this is some illness you're hiding from me." Eli explained all in a hush whisper as he dropped my hand from my face and I looked at him speechless.

I noticed how vulnerable his emerald eyes looked right now, it was like he was letting me see every emotion flowing through those pupils. I could see worry, concern, sadness and a bit of anger in his eyes. He was letting me see all of this so I can see what he's feeling right now.. He senses that I'm keeping something from him - which I am, but I just can't be out of the blue about it, I can't just be like,

"_Oh hey Eli. The man that I quite possibly might love and who quite possibly might love me back, I've got a secret, I have terminal HIV and I'll eventually die. Now lets kiss!" _

I couldn't tell him for God's sake, he'd flip, he'd be upset, he'd spiral back into depression, or worse.. He'd break up with me for good for lying to him for almost a year.

But I couldn't tell him.. Eventually I will, but not now, I can't now, not when I felt like a utter mess and he looked like he'd explode.

"Eli - Baby.." I murmured, using a nickname he often used for me. "I'm fine, I'm just fighting a cold, why can't you believe me?" I asked him in a small voice whilst lying.

Eli sighed and shook his head as he let go of his grip around my shoulders and crossed his arms across his chest as he leaned against the headboard.

"Because you and Darcy are horrible liars." Eli said through gritted teeth.

I sighed as I felt my headache growing intensely worst and laid down back on my bed, turning back on my left side so my back was to Eli.

I figured that I'd fall asleep and when I awoke Eli would be gone leaving no trace that he had stayed here with me this evening, although I felt the extra blanket being draped over my shoulders as I didn't even realize I was shaking, and soon I felt arms envelope me from behind, his hands clasping together around my stomach as he pulled my back closer to his chest.

I sighed, knowing I couldn't have my back to him the whole time, so I turned around so that I was facing him and he looked at me with scared eyes - he was still obviously upset that I was keeping this secret from him, but he wasn't gonna push it any farther, I could tell he didn't want me to feel any worse.

So I snuggled closer into his chest to where I could hear his heartbeat once more which was now calm and smooth as always, I closed my eyes and silently listened to his heartbeat.

I could feel his hands glide through my hair and softly stroke my scalp and my curls as he would lightly kiss my forehead every minute or so.

I was perfect here, nothing was going to bother us now, as long as Eli doesn't push that question on me anymore, I'd be fine.

We'd be fine.

"Your hair smells nice." Eli murmured as he kissed my forehead once more and I giggled weakly against his chest, I pulled myself a bit away from him so I could look up at him.

"Vanilla shampoo smells nice to you?" I questioned him as a smirk crossed his face.

"I _love _the smell of vanilla, Edwards. You're killing me with that scent - that and how adorable you look right now." Eli complimented me and all I could do was cock an eyebrow at him.

"Adorable? Messy hair, no makeup, sun-kin eyes and flaming face is _adorable _to you?" I asked him in confusion and slight shock.

Eli smirked as he ran his hand through my hair once more.

"I happen to find it _**very **_adorable." Eli said softly, any traces of anger, sadness or concern was washed away from his face, either that or he was masking it pretty well.

I continued to stare up at his emerald eyes, seeing how I could no longer see the vulnerable ability he did with his eyes, only now could I see with slight happiness and smugness.

That was _my _Eli right there.

"Oh and I got something for you." Eli said quickly as he let me go out of his arms - much to my disappointment - as he reached over me, careful not to place all his weight on me as he grabbed his backpack and sat back up, with the backpack in his hands as he rummaged through it.

"Eli." I said in a whine. "You didn't need to get me anything. I don't need anything." I told him, but Eli shook his head.

"Hey, my girl is sick, so of course I'm gonna get her something. You do realize I know how to be a boyfriend right?" Eli asked me as he gave me a side glance.

"Well, I never knew you did since of how you were with Jenna." I said in a small voice.

"Jenna never meant the way you do to me, Clare. Like I said, I used her and she used me. Everything is out in the open now. No more secrets. Everything is good now." Eli told me with a smirk as he continued to rummage through his backpack, I could only feel my stomach turn with guilt of not telling him anything.

"Aha! Here it is, it was at the bottom of the backpack." Eli muttered as he pulled out what to look like a DVD case out of his bag and he threw his backpack back to the ground as he showed me the DVD.

I immediately noticed the DVD just by the embrace shown by Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams on the front cover, both holding each other through the downpour of rain, but instead of the title 'The Notebook' on the cover, 'Notebook' was scribbled out and underneath it was written 'Folder' and I immediately knew this was Eli's messy scrawl and I let out a snort and looked at him.

"You're such a dork." I told him with a giggle and Eli looked at me smugly.

"Hey, I'm a cute dork. Watch your wording, Edwards." Eli warned me with a smirk.

"Thank you, Eli." I thanked him softly and Eli smiled and leaned over, kissing my cheek gently before whispering,

"No problem, sweetheart." before snatching the DVD from my hand and jumping out of bed to place it in the DVD player in my bedroom."You're gonna watch it with me?" I asked with a grin as Eli turned around and nodded.

"I didn't buy this dumb movie for nothing now did I?" Eli mock asked me as he pressed play and the movie credits began.

Eli shut the curtains to allow no sun in and walked over to my bed and I didn't even wait for him to climb in before I grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him in as he chuckled.

As Eli leaned against the headboard and I climbed into his lap as he grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders as I leaned into his frame, as he draped the second blanket over both of us and I smiled softly as pressed my face into the crook of his neck.

"You're too sweet to me." I whispered and I felt Eli's arms wrap around me and he pressed his lips to the top of my head.

"You deserve to be treated well." Eli murmured before focusing on the movie.

At least halfway through the movie I noticed how my headache had toned down and my face didn't seem so alarmingly hot, I turned around to ask Eli if my face was still feverish when I noticed that his eyes were vulnerable once more.

I gulped as I noticed he _was _masking worry, concern, sadness and anger in his eyes.

But most of all, his face shown hurt the most and I could only turn around and lean back into his embrace when I felt Eli's hands on my face.

"Your face is cooler." Eli murmured and I noted how his voice seemed happier upon discovering that.

I turned around to see that he was no longer vulnerable, he was now having happiness and a bit of smugness in his pupils.

I nodded as I felt his lips press against my forehead once more before I leaned back into his embrace, feeling guiltier by the second.

He needed to know, but I couldn't tell him.

I couldn't ruin this relationship.

I couldn't ruin _him._

* * *

**Please review! I love reading your reviews! (: **


	33. Respecting Vows

**A/N: I see that giving out my tumblr was a good idea since you guys did send in questions about the story that did make me happy, I'd like to let you know though, I changed my URL to l u n r u s t i n. t u m b l r. c o m. So keep the questions going there, I'll be happy to answer them! (:**

**Now onto chapter thirty three~**

**WARNING: Lesbian smut at the end, if you don't like smut at all - don't read the smut part at the end of the chapter.**

* * *

_Eli's Point of View: _

Months had gone by and I can safely say that I've returned to my happy place once more. It was already summer break and after paying close attention to Clare even after she was all better, I did realize that I _was _overreacting. Clare was perfectly fine, like she's always been, I was just being an annoying overreacting boyfriend.

Although summer break was going by quickly to my dismay that it was already the end of July and August was almost here, school would start back up in September, but I guess if I have Clare with me, I'm sure my last year at Degrassi will go by smoothly.

Hopefully I'd have Drew by my side as well, he was at Fairchild Rehabilitation Center and as been for the past two months while trying to kick his drug addiction to the curb, I knew from the moment I dropped him off there, I knew he'd hate it, I knew he'd hate _me _for sticking him there in the first place, the place had been a spotless white facility, smiles all around for their damaged patients. I had visited Drew a couple times, even though its advised that I stopped visiting him until he's released which is suppose to be late August, early week of September, I'm only suppose to stop visiting so his recovery can be "quicker" without his best friend there making things worst.

Lets just say I almost blew a gasket at the orderlies, but stopped knowing Drew needed their help, I never had the bit down my tongue as hard as I did that one day.

I just hoped Drew would be out of their by late August and would work things out with Alli, with from what Clare has been telling me, Alli's been quite a mess, she's been wanting to see Drew, but always stopping herself and chickening out.

I couldn't really blame her either, if the person I loved or cared deeply about like lets say Clare was in a place like that, it'd break my damn heart to see her in there, but thankfully Clare's good, she wouldn't ever be into anything like that, she's a good girl, she was _my _good girl.

"Happy three month anniversary, Eli!" Clare exclaimed as she saw me walk through her living room and she threw her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug, I chuckled and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Happy three month anniversary, sweetheart." I murmured as I kissed her hair, then her temple, then her forehead, I trailed the kisses down the bridge of her nose then finally to her lips as I held them there longer as I deepened the kiss.

"Ahem." Darcy cleared her throat from behind Clare.

Clare quickly broke free from my grip and looked at Darcy embarrassed, her cheeks flashing that blushing red.

"Sorry Darce." Clare murmured as she grabbed onto my hand and I smoothed the top of her hand.

"Eh, its alright I guess. It _is _your three month anniversary, so if Eli wants to kiss your whole damn face, I guess its alright." Darcy said nonchalantly as she entered the kitchen.

"Hear that? I can kiss your whole damn face if I want too." I whispered as Clare closed her eyes and giggled as I kissed each of her eyelids, making her giggle even more.

"I can't wait to take you out today either." I murmured as I pulled her closer.

"Take me out? But Eli.. Its just our three month anniversary, its nothing remotely huge." Clare breathed out a little flustered by my gesture

I pulled her away from me and raised an eyebrow at her.

"_Just _our three month anniversary? I say it's a time to celebrate, especially considering I'm celebrating three months I've spent with you okay? We don't have to go out you know.. If you're feeling sick again or something." I told her disappointed, but Clare quickly shook her head.

"Oh no, no. I'm not sick anymore, remember? I'm fine now, I'm better, so you need to stop remembering that day and always bring it up." Clare told me sternly, but I sighed and looked down at her blue orbs.

"It just.. That day scared me, Clare. I don't want it happening again, especially out in public again, it'll just kill me." I told her as I gently felt her take my hand and she brought it to her lips as she lightly kissed my hand.

"It **won't **happen again, I promise. I just had a bad day that day. I'm fine and better now and I wanna go out now." Clare told me with a smile on her lips.

I sighed and nodded, before bending down and kissing her lips once more, I needed to know if this was still real, me being with her, it all seemed like a dream, but it wasn't, she really _was _here, she was here with me and she was gladly kissing me back with very much enthusiasm.

I chuckled as I pulled back and smirked at her.

"You're a feisty kisser, Edwards." I told her as her face reddened by embarrassment.

"Lets just get going." Clare mumbled nervously as she grabbed her denim jacket off the coat rack and slipped it on before retreating into the kitchen to notify Darcy and Helen that she was going out on a date with me.

Words that I _loved _hearing her say.

_I'm going out on a date with Eli. I'll be back later!_

Just the fact that I had this angel with me made me feel like the luckiest guy on earth.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View: _

Rehab. Fucking rehab.

I hated it here. I hated the ugly ass walls, the stupid creaky flooring, I hated the orderlies and I hated the zonked out patients.

What I hated the most was that I didn't have _any _drugs on me, nothing to calm me down. No heroin to inject into my body, no weed to suckle in through my lips, no ecstasy to place on my tongue.

Nothing. Nada. No more.

The withdrawl had been the worst of it all, those nights of restlessness and constant throwing up all the poison in my body had been the worst few days of my life.

Now I was here, stuck in this awful room for another month still fighting the urge to do drugs, I always have the itch to do drugs, and it was bothersome.

But I _had _to do this whether I liked it or not, Eli forced me to come here and he already warned me, saying that once I get out and I get into drugs again, he'll erase me from his life.

Plus I needed to do this for Adam and Fiona too, only God knows what those two are doing now, I haven't seen either in months and that was another thing that made me antsy, I wanted to see them again.

"Mr. Torres? You have a visitor." One of the orderlies said as he entered my room, I looked at him confused. I knew Eli wouldn't be visiting me today as he was on a anniversary date with Clare right now, who would possibly visit me?

"Uhm. Who is it?" I asked confused as I leaped off my bed and stood by the foot of my bed.

The orderly swung the door open further and I soon saw the girl that I loved in front of me, her long black mane of hair tied into a ponytail and she was wearing a rather loud color of pink on as well, her smell wavered into the room and I couldn't help but slowly smile as she walked in.

"Hi, Drew." Alli murmured as her lips curled into a small smile.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View: _

"Where are you taking me?" Clare asked from beside me in Morty, I could only give her a sidelong glance and smirk at her.

"If I told you, I'd ruin the surprise." I told her.

"Eli.." Clare whined and I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what she was gonna say next. "I hate surprises." Clare added predictably.

"I know, I know. But its my girl and her adorable boyfriend's anniversary, even if it is three months, it needs to be celebrated, I didn't figure you'd stay this long with me." I murmured as I stopped at a red light.

Clare looked at me sympathetically and took my free hand I wasn't driving with and interlaced our fingers.

"I did stay with you this long and I do hope to stay with you even longer than this." Clare murmured as she twisted one of my rings on my fingers, and this time I could feel a blush creep up on my cheeks this time, and only Clare Edwards could do this to me.

"Are you blushing now, _Goldsworthy_?" Clare asked, drawing my last name out long and bold as she giggled.

"No.. Its just.. Hot in here." I muttered as I rolled the windows down in the front seat.

The rest of the ride was peaceful and quiet, the only sound was the radio softly blasting a rock song and the sound of a breeze rustling through the window.

I looked over at Clare to see that the breeze was going through her curls much to her amusement and I couldn't help but grin at the scene next to me as she sat back and continued to feel the breeze through her curls and face. Only one thought struck my mind as I saw her sitting there,

Goddamn she's beautiful.

Quickly we made it to our destination, Clare noticed where we were and softly gaped.

"Eli.." Clare gasped as she looked up at the huge hill that we would have to climb to get to our final destination. "That's gonna take forever to climb." Clare whispered as she looked back at me and I sighed.

"That's why I'm carrying you up there. I know you won't make two seconds up that hill. Plus it doesn't' take that long to get up there you know?" I told her knowingly.

Clare nodded and got of the hearse and I did the same, grabbing my backpack from the back as I had some food and other valuables in there, as I shut the back doors, Clare ran up to me to take the backpack from me and grab my hand as she started rushing us toward the hill.

"I wanna run up here though. I wanna run up here with you." Clare murmured with a small smile.

I chuckled and squeezed her hand.

"Fine, we'll run up that hill. Just don't fall down and take me with you. Tumbling down hills isn't that fun." I advised her and Clare nodded and she pulled on my hand and slung my backpack over her shoulder and she started running up the hill with me closely behind her, ready to catch her if she decided to lose her footing and tumble down.

Within a minute we made it up the hill and Clare breathed heavily as she set the backpack down and slid down the tree breathless.

"That.. Was.. Fun.." Clare said breathlessly and I chuckled as I sat down next to her and could find myself being a bit breathless as well.

"Well. You sure are a fast runner, Edwards. No wonder you were acing PE and I was barely passing." I told her with a smile and Clare cocked an eyebrow at me.

"You'd have passed PE if only you would dress out in the PE uniform." Clare told me knowingly as she started to regain her breathing pattern back and I rolled my eyes.

"The PE uniforms suck alright? I was fine doing PE in my own clothes." I told her with a grin.

"No wonder you smelled everytime I'd pass by you in the halls." Clare teased as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Ouch, Edwards! That one hurt!" I exclaimed as I placed a hand over my heart and Clare laughed and she leaned her head on my shoulder.

"I was only kidding. I think you smell good. I like your scent." Clare murmured as she buried her nose into my shoulder and I smirked.

"Thanks, babe." I murmured as I took her hand in mine and laced our fingers together.

Silence danced around us as Clare continued to rest her head on my shoulder and I continued to gently massaged the back of her hand with my thumb, when I figured now would be the appropriate time to tell Clare what I've finally considered and accepted, it was a thing Clare had told me many times to consider, she wanted me to have Cece and her new husband in my life now that I was living alone, Clare hated the fact that I lived alone and I knew it bothered her, but I was alright living alone, but then again, I missed Cece and a part of me was wanting to meet her and her new husband and then of course, I wanted to see my little sister, _little sister. _It still baffled me how Cece had decided to have _another _baby, made me feel like I wasn't enough, but it was her body, her choice.

"Clare?" I murmured, Clare softly hummed letting me know she was listening.

"I'm gonna let Cece and her family back into my life." I whispered.

I felt Clare lift her head off my shoulder and look at me seriously.

"Really? You're gonna give her another chance, Eli?" Clare asked with a small smile on her face.

"Of course. I thought about it, she's my mother. She's the only parent I have anymore, Clare. I can't lose her and even if she does have a husband - I have a step father _and _a baby step sister. I'll learn to accept it diligently. Plus.. I sort of want my mom home anyway. Living alone can get.. Lonely." I explained to Clare as I rubbed the back of my neck nervously.

I looked at Clare and noticed tears were forming in her eyes and that only made my heart drop as I saw how she had gone from happy to upset.

"Woah, what's wrong?" I asked her urgently as I wiped her tears away with my thumb.

Clare grabbed onto my hand that was wiping her tears away and she looked at me with proud blue orbs.

"I am so proud of you, Eli. You've come so far. You've changed, baby." Clare crooned, using a nickname she often never used on me since she wasn't one for using petnames, but I could tell she wanted to use one now.

I smiled down at her and pressed my lips to her forehead longingly before pulling away.

"Thank _you _for saying that. I love when you say you're proud of me, it makes me feel.. Superior." I murmured to her as Clare giggled through her joyous tears.

Then I quickly felt Clare's lips on my own, it was an aggressive kiss, a kiss we haven't experienced with each other, her hands clasped at the back of my neck as my hands were wrapped around her waist. Clare quickly deepened the kiss, pushing herself closer to myself and I felt my hands ride down to her thighs and grasp them tightly as I lowered us on the grass as I straddled Clare and her hands were grasping my hair as I began kissing the rest of her face, then down to her neck as she was breathing heavily from our kiss, I trailed my kisses to the top of chest, to her collarbones, before I felt Clare pull away quickly. I noticed how she was grasping at her chest and quickly tried to button the buttons that had become unbuttoned during our make out session.

"Hey, calm down. Its alright." I assured Clare as I moved closer to her, Clare sighed, she was obviously embarrassed and flustered by our progress in our relationship. "If you don't wanna do that, that's fine with me, I'm not gonna pressure you to make out with me. I'm good enough with just kisses." I told her with an assuring grin.

"I-I know." Clare stammered. "But.. I've never made out with a guy before. I've.. I've never you know.." Clare trailed off as her cheeks reddened and I suddenly realized what she meant.

"Oh Clare." I murmured as I reached out and grabbed her hand as she sighed shakily and climbed into my lap and buried her head in my chest. "Its okay if you're a virgin. There's nothing to be ashamed of there." I soothed her as I ran a hand through her curls.

"Y-Yeah.. But I have a vow." Clare whispered and I looked at her oddly.

"A vow?" I asked her confused.

"I'm… I'm not gonna you know.. Have sex until I'm married." Clare whispered a bit of hesitation in her voice.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View: _

I took in Drew's drab room and it practically screamed _depressing! _It was a horrible place to have Drew at, this wasn't his type of scene, but after what Eli and Clare had explained, they said Drew needed to be here, or he'd get worse and Eli had warned him about drugs one too many times.

I noticed Drew in grey sweats and a black wife beater on, his hair was messy and he had bags under his eyes, how many hours of sleep did he get last night?

"I'll be waiting outside the door. No funny business ma'am." The orderly said as he left the door ajar and stepped outside the door and I faced Drew who was obviously caught by surprise at me being here.

I suppose I'm surprised I managed to come here and not get nervous and chicken out, but if Eli had managed to come here many times during this summer, then I could too, after all this _is _Drew so I don't need to worry right?

"Why are you here, Alli?" Drew asked a little confused and I sighed heavily.

"I just wanna say that I'm happy you're here and you're bettering yourself." I told him and Drew scoffed.

"Bettering myself? I hate it here. I wanna be home." Drew mumbled as he crossed his arms across his chest and I sighed and looked away.

"I know you do and you _will _be home one day okay? But for now you need to get better. You need to get better so we can talk.. We can talk about us." I breathed out and swallowed a lump in my throat.

"Us still exists?" Drew asked incredulous not expecting me to say that.

"Of course 'us' still exists. It never stop existing, Drew. But once you get better, we'll talk about 'us' alright?" I asked him hopeful and Drew nodded quickly, a smile on his lips at the fact that he didn't lose me.

I smiled and noticed the orderly walk back into the room.

"Sorry ma'am, but group therapy is starting in five minutes so you'll need to leave." The orderly said as he looked between me and Drew.

"Alright, I'll leave. I'll see you in a month, Drew." I murmured as I reached up on my toes to place a kiss on his cheek before walking briskly out of the room with my head high and my heart filled with hope.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

"Oh Clare, that's nothing to be scared to tell me. I'm glad you told me that." Eli told me with a smile, if only I wished those would be his words whenever I tell him about my HIV, only if I could ever get the guts to tell him about it all, to come out about it and just have him _know. _

_Just tell him, Clare. Stop being stupid, its obviously this guy loves you with all in him and he has been in love with you for months, he deserves to know now. He deserves to know before you die. _My inner thoughts rambled on, but only one of them caught my eye.

_Its obvious this guy loves you with all in him and he has been in love with you for months._

_He has been __**in love with you **__for months._

"He loves me?" I said out loud. I noticed Eli cocked his eyebrow at me.

"What?" Eli asked confused and I shook my head.

"Nothing just that uhm.. I'm keeping my purity vow." I murmured as I messed with my cardigan button.

Little did Eli know, the only reason I really had that vow was because of my HIV, I can't have sex.. Ever. I know a good majority of people dread dying a virgin, but it doesn't bother me all that much, its not like I wanna give anyone my disease anyway. I'm already risking Eli if I have an open wound and he tries to kiss it or help me, just by him barely touching that and getting it on his lips, he could be infected and I just don't need that to happen to him. I don't need him to be infected and have to go through what I go through.

"Clare. I respect the vow, I'm not gonna pressure you into sex, trust me. Sex is the last thing I want right now to be honest. All I honestly want is to be with you and not in a sexual way, only in a way that makes us comfortable." Eli murmured as he pressed his lips to my lips and I savored the kiss, savored the way his lips moved against mine and how everytime we kiss, he lets out a soft moan from the back of his throat and doesn't even realize it.

"Before we get too caught up in kissing." Eli said as he broke away from our kiss, he grabbed his backpack and rummaged through it before pulling out a rather medium size box and set his backpack down. "I need to return this to you." Eli whispered as he handed me the box. I looked at him bewildered before opening the box and gasping at the object inside.

My snow globe.

"I-I know you knew it was missing, I took it that night last year when Darcy let me stay over an-" I quickly cut Eli off before he could say more.

"And you went into my room and went through my stuff. I know. I was under the bed when I heard you come in. I knew it was you who took it. I just never asked for it back." I murmured while gently holding the last remainder I had of my first adoptive parents in my hands.

"Oh.. Well then.. That's awkward." Eli muttered as he enveloped me in his arms, his arms wrapped around my stomach as I leaned my head against his chest and felt him rest his head against mine.

"Happy third month anniversary baby." I whispered as I gently kissed Eli's neck and Eli chuckled and returned the favor by kissing my curls.

"Happy third month anniversary beautiful." Eli replied with such softness that I knew I could stay here for a while.

* * *

_Jenna's Point of View: _

"We could.. Have Jess beat the shit out of Clare?" Dave suggested as we all sat around KC's apartment, the guys had been brainstorming ideas all summer of ways to get back at Eli and Clare and to be fairly honest, it was getting quite boring. All their ideas were somehow related to violence and that obviously would only get us in trouble, but whenever I tried to pipe up and offer my word, KC would shoot me a death glare.

"No Dave.. Just no. Jess can't throw a punch for shit." KC mumbled as he tugged at his beanie on his head. "This is so useless. We can't think of _anything _and summer is almost over." KC growled as he slammed a beer can on his coffee table.

I groaned and stood up and for once, KC and his group actually paid attention to me.

"Where are ya going dyke?" Owen growled as he looked at me in disgust.

"I'm going out on a walk around the building. Call me when you have a real and solid plan that doesn't involve violence." I told them sharply as I briskly walked out of KC's apartment and down the grimy and dirty halls.

This summer had sucked to a maximum, I had spent my days either with KC and his clique or painting in my bedroom and my paintings.. They all came out the same.

They all came out as a girl with beautiful tan skin, gorgeous brown eyes, small thin lips and big voluptuous hair that could curl forever in his bliss of blackness. She always use to wear a black sweatshirt, but lately her clothes seemed to get more and more revealing, leaving to where my last painting was of the beautiful Latina with bare breasts and only a dainty red thong covering her space between her legs.

Bianca DeSousa was going to be the death of me, I swear.

As if on cue I immediately ran into the beautiful Latina.

I looked up at Bianca and noticed how she was only wearing a thin white tank top and short black shorts, her hair was flowing nicely down her back and I gulped as I saw her. I hadn't been with her since the incident with Eli in the cafeteria months ago and right now - I wanted her badly.

Bianca looked down at me with the same gleam in her brown eyes before grabbing my hands and murmuring in my ear,

"Quiero hacer cosas malas que le pintor pequena." Bianca said softly in Spanish, sending chills down my spine as she did so.

I knew exactly what she said, _I wanna do bad things to you tiny painter._

It was if my night was turning into a glorious when Bianca grabbed my hand and lead me to her apartment which I remembered was in the same building as KC's, Bianca quickly locked the door before facing me and smiling devilishly.

"My mama isn't home tonight pintor pequena. We have the house to ourselves, so lets just.. Have some fun." Bianca whispered and I could smell the scent of her banana gum wafer through the air. Although Bianca didn't even have to ask twice before I grabbed her and led her to her bedroom and immediately and threw the door open and didn't bother to close it as I grabbed Bianca's face and pressed my lips against her, hearing her moan loudly as my hands had traveled up her shirt and grabbed onto her bra.

I gave Bianca a look - asking if it was okay if we could do this and Bianca nodded and pressed her lips against mine feverishly as I unhooked her bra hooks and pulled her bra out from under Bianca's thin tank top and Bianca pressed herself into me and I could feel her breasts against mine and that left me elated.

…

Soon I found ourselves both naked on her bed, Bianca being who she is wanted to ride top and I didn't oblige one moment as placed long kisses all over my chest, especially on my breasts before trailing the kisses down to my clit as I could feel my back arch as the pleasant feeling started to creep into my bloodstream as she placed more kisses around my clit before murmuring,

"Te amo."

I cry of pain and joy burst through me as soon as Bianca got down to business.

"Bee.. Bee.. Oh-Oh.. God." I moaned heavily as I placed my hand on the back of Bianca's head, grabbing a fist of her black curls in my hand. "D-Don't st-stop." I stammered as I could feel myself start to climax.

"Nunca pintor pequena." Bianca murmured before going faster between my legs, her moans and my moans colliding.

I don't think I haven't felt this much as myself in a long, **long **time. The feeling of Bianca between my legs, her murmuring sweet and dirty things to me in Spanish only made me feel more at home.

And at home was wherever, Bianca was.

She was the love of my life.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I did write smut and detailed smut this time. I understand if you don't like smut and you've made your way to my A/N down here, basically if you didn't read above, Bianca and Jenna had a bit of time pleasuring each other and I didn't divulge into full on lesbian sex which happened afterwards. If you don't understand the Spanish, you can always use google translate. (: Oh and this won't be the last of smut either. (; PLEASE REVIEW! (: **


	34. My Girl

_Drew's Point of View:_

"You're released, Mr. Torres. Hopefully you'll remember our techniques when you get urges to use drugs yeah?" Tammy, the woman who worked at the front desk of Fairchild Rehabilitation Center said as she began filling out forms and I nodded.

"I do, Tammy. Thanks for all you guys have done here. I'm happy to be clean." I said with a smile and Tammy mirrored the smile.

"Do you have someone picking you up today? Is it your friend who admitted you here? Elijah?" Tammy asked as she filed away some papers. I nodded at her words.

"Yeah he's suppose to come pick me up and take us back to his house." I informed Tammy and she softly smiled.

"Well I hope you have a great day, Mr. Torres. It was a pleasure." Tammy told me as she held her hand out and I gladly shook it before leaving the center.

I couldn't believe I had actually made it, I was sure that day a month ago that I wouldn't make it here anymore, but then Alli came.

Alli came and told me that there was still an 'us' and that changed everything.

If 'us' still existed, that meant I still had a chance and I didn't lose her yet, I just needed to give up drugs.

It wasn't easy, I had urges all the time and I had scars on my upper arm from injections that'll haunt me forever and cigarette burnt marks on my arms as well from when I'd stuff my blunt up my shirt sleeve so Eli wouldn't catch me.

But now, I can barely notice the urge and if I do, I simply ignore it and start the techniques the facility had taught me, just to say my surroundings and what I'm doing.

_I'm walking down a sidewalk, there's yellow flowers high and tall by the gate, its hot and sunny, there's a pretty brown girl who I love waiting for me._

_There's a pretty brown girl who I love waiting for me._

_**Waiting for me.**_

Sure enough, Alli was standing there, spinning my car keys around on her small finger as she leaned against my red truck, my red truck which had been confiscated from me by Eli once he admitted me here, saying I'd get it back once I was better.

"Alli?" I asked bewildered. "What are you-" before I could even finish my sentence I felt Alli pounce on me and press her lips against mine feverishly.

It was like heaven all over again, Alli's arms wound around my neck, I dropped my bags so I could hold her by her lower back and press deeper into the kiss, Alli's lips tasted faintly of caramel and that only made me even more elated to have her in my arms at this moment.

Alli slowly pulled away and looked up at me with big brown eyes that I adored and smiled.

"I've had time to think - I've had all freaking summer to think about you, about me, about us and.. Even Fiona and Adam. I've thought.. That they would want us to be happy, Drew. Even though I feel like I'm betraying Fiona, I'm not, I'm making myself happy with you and I know Adam would want you to be happy too now considering you're clean." Alli explained as she grabbed my hand and lightly squeezed it.

"So.. What does this mean then?" I asked her softly as I tried to studied Alli's face, her facial expression showing that she was nervous, yet extremely happy at the same time.

"It means.. It means we're together again - only if you want too." Alli quickly said as her cheeks blushed and I chuckled.

"I'd love for us to be together again gorgeous." I murmured as I pressed my lips against hers once more, before pulling away and snatching my keys from her as I looked around once more, expecting to see Eli around.

"Where's Eli? He's suppose to pick me up." I asked Alli as I threw my bags in the back of my truck and made my way to the passenger door to open it up for Alli and Alli shrugged and sighed, I could tell there was something on her mind.

"Eli called me saying I'd have to come get you today since Clare isn't feeling too good right now." Alli murmured as she bit her lip and got into the car rather quickly not wanting to discuss it any further.

I remember Eli telling me one time how Clare had gotten extremely sick and it scared him half to death considering that the dude loves her, but of course he doesn't even admit that to himself, but she was sick again? I could only feel bad for both Eli and Clare considering that they are pretty much all the other has at times, but Alli knew something.

I knew she knew something.

As I climbed into the drivers seat I looked over at Alli who was texting on her phone and I snatched her phone from her once I saw the huge black letters **Clare **at the top.

"Hey! Drew, you can't just - don't go through it!" Alli exclaimed flustered and afraid as she tried to reach for the phone, but I turned my back to her and could only feel her clawing at my back to get to her phone as I read the messages between Clare and Alli.

**Alli Bhandari: **

**Ur sick again? :[ **

**Clare Edwards: **

**It sprung on me this morning. I feel awful. **

**Alli Bhandari: **

**Does eli even kno wats wrong with u? **

**Clare Edwards:**

…

**Alli Bhandari:**

**Clare.. U haven't told him huh? **

**Clare Edwards:**

**No.. I can't tell him.**

**Alli Bhandari:**

**U need 2 before he finds out sum other way. Hes gunna be heart broken clare.**

**Clare Edwards:**

**I know.. He's over right now since Darcy had asked him for some help in taking care of me and now he's just worried all over again.**

I turned my back slowly and looked at Alli sternly as I saw her sink into her seat.

"What is Clare keeping from Eli, Alli?" I asked her slowly.

Whatever this was, it was serious and if they were keeping it from Eli? Eli of all people who's told Clare everything and she's keeping something from him?

"Alli.. Tell me now or I'll tell Eli, Clare is keeping something from him." I threatened Alli sighed and faced me.

"Clare's dying, Drew. Okay?" Alli murmured as tears started to form in the corners of her eyes.

I looked at Alli incredulous and in utter shock by her words.

"Dying? What.. Alli what are you saying?" I asked her confused.

Alli sighed and wiped her tear that was running down her face.

"Clare was born with HIV when she was a baby. Now she has six years to live and Eli doesn't know. Clare doesn't have the heart to tell him and she needs to because Drew that's why she's always "sick", she's just getting worst and its freaking Eli out." Alli explained briefly.

We sat there in silence as I leaned back into my seat, Clare was the only thing that brought the old Eli back in a long time and now she was dying? That couldn't even be remotely true, at times she seemed so healthy, so glowing, especially with Eli and now.. She wasn't even gonna live to be 22? 23? She'll never live to be in her thirties or forties.

"Holy shit." I muttered as I started ahead, I had gotten use to liking Clare, she was easy to get along with and had a caring and sweet personality and she made my now girlfriend and best friend very happy people, but she's _dying._

"Don't tell Eli, Drew. Please." Alli pleaded with me. "Clare needs to tell him herself. That's how it should be." Alli murmured and I sighed and looked at her.

"Alright, I understand that. I won't tell Eli. I just.. Can't believe it. How long have you known for?" I asked Alli quietly and she bit her lip.

"For almost a year, Clare spilled the beans to me and Fiona one night in Fi's condo." Alli murmured.

"Fi knew?" I asked Alli with wide eyes and Alli nodded.

"Fi knew and Fi accepted her for who she was, we both did. Do you?" Alli asked me and I sighed.

"I don't know her that well, Alli. But I'm not gonna stop talking to her because she has some terminal illness, she's still Clare." I informed Alli and Alli slowly smiled before taking my hand and squeezing my fingers.

"That's good, Drew. Now lets go have some fun and celebrate you being released." Alli suggested, trying to change topics, which I was happy to do.

"As you wish baby." I murmured as I put the key in the ignition and began driving with Alli, despite hearing her horrible singing voice singing along with a Selena Gomez song, I couldn't help, but think of Clare and Eli.. I couldn't help but think of how in a few years, everything will be ruined.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View: _

"Shh. Shh baby, it'll be okay." Eli crooned as I laid my head on his chest, feeling the pounding in my head and how sweaty and clammy my whole body was starting to get.

"No.. No it won't be okay." I breathed out truthfully, it was the truth, this won't ever be okay, this illness, it was starting to get the best of me, especially as I'm getting older as well, I just turned sixteen not even a week ago and I'm already dealing with a low day at its ultimate worse and not even that, I didn't want Eli finding out, I didn't want him worried, but of course Darcy needed help since Helen visiting with our aunt, Linda in Ajax and Darcy couldn't deal with me on her own while she was trying to read a selection of books she had to read before returning for the term at college.

But I couldn't help but love the feeling of being in Eli's arms again while he ran a hand through my curls and would occasionally reach down to kiss my forehead.

"Clare.. I'm getting more and more worried, maybe we should go to a doctor or something, get you checked out and see if you're alright." Eli murmured as he ran a hand through my curls.

I groaned and turned around so I was facing him, I could tell I was a mess, and I knew Eli knew I wasn't at my absolute best in the attractive group at the moment, but Eli kept his hands around my body like vices.

"No no. Lay down, don't' sit up or you'll pass out again, you can talk to me while laying down, just don't sit up and pass out again.. Please." Eli begged with me and I noticed how much desperation he had in his voice and I slowly nodded for his benefit as I slowly got under my covers with the help of Eli pulling them back and placing them over my body as he looked down at me with scared frightened green orbs.

"I don't.. I don't need to see a doctor when I'm fine." I croaked out as I closed my eyes as I felt the headache pound harder in my head.

"Yeah you're totally 'fine', Clare, sweetheart, you're a mess right now, I'm scared to even leave you alone right now, I'm afraid something bad is gonna happen to you baby." Eli murmured as he continued to sit next to me and he had a hand on my forehead as he pushed my bangs back and out of my face. I knew he wanted to tell me more, I knew he wanted to force me to go, I knew my temperature was probably scaring him, I knew my whole mess of a body was scaring him even more.

"I am fine. I'll be better by tomorrow and then we can go out and do something with Drew and Alli.. That sounds good.." I murmured as I began to feel drowsy, but Eli was still stroking my hair.

"I don't think you'll be able to double with Drew and Alli, we'll just stay here and let them have the fun alright?" Eli asked softly and I sighed heavily, nodding for his benefit and the fact I was too tired to even respond to him, but I needed to ask him one more thing before I fall asleep.

"Eli.." I whispered.

"Yeah baby?" Eli asked as I felt his fingertips on my cheeks.

"Will you.. Will you be here when I wake up?" I said barely audible and Eli sighed before placing a kiss on my cheek."Of course. Now get some sleep." Eli murmured as I felt him pull the covers higher up on my body.

Eli muttered something else, but soon sleep overcame me and I never heard what he said.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View: _

I looked down at the sickly mess of my beautiful girlfriend who was laying asleep next to me, I felt like a horrible boyfriend, a horrible boyfriend for believing that she was okay again, but she _wasn't. _

Her fever was already high and she was getting the chills and all I wanted to do was to get her to cooperate and go to the doctors. Just have a doctor check her out, see if she's carrying a virus or an infection - whatever it is, I'll take care of her and make it all go away.

I just wanted it to go away and make my girl smile again and be happy, that's all I wanted.

I sighed and hopped off her bed, making my way to her side before placing a gentle kiss against her scorching hot forehead careful not to awaken her and have her think I'm leaving her, I'd be back in a few minutes, I just needed to talk to Darcy for a bit.

I needed to talk to Darcy about Clare. About what's wrong with Clare, because if Clare refuses to go to the doctor _and _its obvious Darcy and Clare are both keeping something from me, I'll just have to get it out of Darcy since I don't have the heart to interrogate my sick girlfriend.

As I made my way to Clare's door, I continued to look over my shoulder and bite my lip nervously, I hated leaving her alone in her room when she's sick, she'll think I left her or something. I sighed and quietly exited Clare's room and made my way down stairs and quickly walked into the kitchen where Darcy was having her eyes glued to a book, she looked up at me and threw her book on the table as she stood up and started to leave the kitchen.

"Is Clare okay? Does she need something? What's wrong?" Darcy asked rapidly and I sighed, grabbing her wrist and yanking her back into the kitchen.

"Clare fell asleep right now. I just need to talk to you." I told Darcy seriously and Darcy's body tensed up as she sat down at the table and picked her book up with shaky hands.

"I..I can't talk to you right now. I'm reading." Darcy stammered as she began to read with her hands shaking the book, I'd never seen Darcy so tensed up and nervous, but since this had to do with Clare.. I knew she knew something.

I sat down across from Darcy and plucked the book from her hands, slamming it shut and throwing it on the kitchen counter.

"Hey! I was reading that asshole!" Darcy exclaimed and I groaned and rubbed the bridge of my nose, from having to deal with Darcy and her sketchiness and then with Clare's sickness, I felt like passing out from exhaustion.

"You're not anymore okay? We're gonna talk and we're gonna talk now." I said sternly as I pounded my fist on the kitchen table and Darcy jumped in her chair at my sudden anger burst.

"Sorry.. Sorry.. I'm just.." I tried to explain what I was feeling, but how I could I even begin there? I felt like a million emotions and I had no idea how to even express them.

"Eli.. Hon are you okay?" Darcy crooned as she reached across the table to grab my hand, but I pulled it back as I felt tears stinging in my eyes.

"I don't know what's wrong with her, Darce. I don't know and it makes me feel like a horrible boyfriend." I murmured as I looked up at Darcy and she immediately noticed my tears and her eyes melted into sadness.

"Oh Eli.. Don't beat yourself up over this. You're a great boyfriend to Clare. She's gonna be alright with you here taking care of her and being with her in her time of need okay? Clare's gonna get better and then everything will be alright." Darcy murmured soothingly but I shook my head.

"No, Darce. No. Nothing is gonna be okay. I want her to go to the doctors. Now. I want her to go there and get checked out." I demanded as I felt anger towards Darcy.

Darcy gulped and started nervously picking at her nails.

"We.. We can't." Darcy mumbled.

"Why not? Can you guys not afford it or something, because if you can't - I'll pay!" I exclaimed as I started to fish through my pockets for my wallet and Darcy sighed and shook her head.

"No, Eli. We could afford it. We just.. We can't go okay?" Darcy simply said as her own eyes started to look tired.

"Why not?' I exclaimed once more, aggravated and frustrated with Darcy's simple explanations.

"Why does this bother you so much, Eli? She's just sick." Darcy said with narrowed eyes and I looked at her incredulous.

"The girl I fucking love is sick, Darcy okay? She's not even sick, she's.. its like she's slowly dying and its making me upset and I.. I hate it!" I said flustered and Darcy widened her eyes at my words.

"You.. You love Clare?" Darcy asked with a gape mouth.

I sighed and nodded."I've always loved her. Just.. Just don't tell her right now, I'll tell her when the time is right." I murmured as I twisted the skull ring around my thumb and looked up at Darcy's guilty eyes.

"If only she'll tell you." Darcy mumbled and my head shot up and I looked at Darcy.

"What? Tell me what? Who Clare?" I asked rapidly, not sure if Darcy caught all that I was saying.

"Eli.. Maybe its time you know." Darcy murmured nervously as she looked up at me sadly.

I could only feel my heart drop to my stomach at her words.

* * *

_KC's Point of View:_

"This is just dumb now guys. Literally - look at us now, sitting around, drinking beers and smoking some blunts and now even coming up with anything decent to do to those losers. Its just like.. Fuck." Owen grumbled as she tapped the end of his cigarette on the ash tray and let the ash fall into the tray and I frustratingly pulled my beanie off my hand and threw it at the ground.

"Milligan is right guys. We've wasted a fuckin' summer in my dirty ass apartment coming up with nothing - **nothing**!" I exclaimed angrily as I took a swig from my beer can and I noticed how Jake who was sitting next to Dave set his barely drunken beer down on the coffee table.

"What about you, Jake. You never have any ideas for this little revenge scheme, tell us what you're little pizza boy delivery mind can tell us." I etched him on as I set my can down and noticed how he looked around at us nervously.

"Uhm.. Yeah I have no ideas guys.. I really don't." Jake mumbled nervously as he began fumbling with his long lanky fingers and I groaned.

"This is shit, this is absolute shit guys." I cursed.

"Why don't we try to hurt them in a different way?" Fitz suggested from his position in the armchair and automatically all of us turned our heads Fitz's way, even Jenna who was too busy filing her nails.

"How bro?" Dave asked as he took a swig from his can.

"Well, I was thinking lately how that chick, Clare is always sick man. Like at school I'd notice her looking weak and I remember when the chick collapsed in the cafeteria her first week and then towards the last days of school, she collapsed again - both times Eli being there. I've also seen her taking pills sometimes too. I think the chick has some disease or something." Fitz informed us as he suckled in some smoke from his cigarette.

I looked at Fitz blankly and blinked my eyes slowly.

"So..? She could have some illness like diabetes or something, how can that help us get revenge on her and her boyfriend?" I asked Fitz and Fitz shrugged.

"I was thinking Eli maybe didn't know, because when he caught her in the hall that one time dude, he looked scared man, like he didn't know what to do." Fitz mentioned and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I say we break into Degrassi and steal her records - steal Eli and Drew's too, get some dirt off of those two as well. Maybe we can find out what Clare has and maybe.. Just maybe we can use it against those two or we can tell the whole school." Owen suggested with a devilish smile and I smirked at my respected clique.

"Now _this _is something interesting." Jenna murmured, but no one really paid attention to her words.

"Boys. This is how revenge is served - sneaky with a side of deep dark secrets." I said with a smirk as I leaned back into my couch, taking a long hefty swig from my beer can before thinking of how everything can somehow be better now.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

My heart beat was quickening as I noticed Darcy was about to finally tell me what I needed to know, what I _had _to know.

But before Darcy could even utter the words, faint footsteps entered to the doorway of the kitchen, I turned around to see Clare had awakened and was rubbing her eyes drowsily as she looked at me with a bit of happiness in her eyes.

"I.. I woke up and you weren't there, but you said you were gonna be there and you weren't, so I came downstairs and hoped you were.. Were downstairs and you were." Clare whispered hoarsely as I noticed how her alarmingly red face was now not so alarmingly red.

As I leaped from my chair, I could hear Darcy let out a huge air of relief from behind me as I approached Clare and placed my hands on her face."You're still warm.. Not as much as before, but at least its starting to go down." I murmured as I softly kissed her forehead. "Now lets go back upstairs and get you some more sleep, this time I promise I'll stay there okay?" I promised Clare and Clare nodded as she leaned into my frame drowsily and I sighed, picking her up in my arms, one arm locking under her leg and the other under her head as she snuggled into my chest.

I slowly made my way up the stairs and back into Clare's room where I noticed that Clare had 'The Notebook' or as we called it 'The Folder' laying on her bed and as I gently set Clare down on her side and tucked the covers around her, I saw as she noticed that I had the DVD now in my hand and she smiled.

"Can we watch it while I try to fall back asleep?" Clare murmured and I nodded.

"Yeah baby. Of course." I said with a smirk as I approached her DVD player and popped the disc into her player once more, as the movie began playing, I was sure Clare knew the movie, line for line, but it always somewhat soothed her into sleep.

As I climbed into what I considered my side of the bed, I felt Clare move closer to me and then lazily lay herself on my lap, her face looking up at my face and I smiled, liking this seating arrangement better now that I could see her face better.

"Baby.. I'm gonna be fine alright? Don't harbor Darcy for questions when I'm fine okay? I'm fine.." Clare whispered as she grabbed onto my hand weakly and I sighed, nodding along to her words for her benefit when I knew exactly that Clare wasn't fine.

Clare was sick - definitely sick and I didn't know what was wrong with her, but I almost got the information from Darcy, hopefully I could get it from her or Clare, or anyone else I suspects know it too.

I just wanted to know what is wrong with _my girl._

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! I notice the questions in the reviews again, and if you wanna ask those questions, please ask them there at l u n r u s t i n. t u m b l r . c o m. I'm always on there and will always answer questions hah. Anyways! Big stuff in this story is coming up! So please review! I'm close to 400 reviews! THAT'S CRAZY! Please review!**


	35. Eventually Fine

_Jenna's Point of View: _

I strode behind KC and his clique as we walked down the sidewalk of Degrassi Street at one in the morning - too early for my taste, but according to KC's demands, we had to be here right now this early to take their records.

Honestly, I didn't even wanna be here for the finding of Clare's records and seeing if she has some disease, I just wanna be with Bianca right now, oh Bianca.

Just the thought of that Latina brought impure thoughts to my mind, thoughts of tongue trailing down my stomach, down to my clit, her _tongue _was what made everything so damn enjoyable.

I just wanted to run my hands through her curly black hair, feeling the movement of her lips against mine, feel how she thrusts her body on mine which leaves my body in tingles.

I wanted Bianca DeSousa and dammit I wanted her now.

"Hey dyke? Did you hear us?" Owen grumbled and I snapped out of my reverie to look up at Owen who had a grimace on his face."N-No. What was it?" I stammered nervously as the image of a naked Bianca left my mind and KC rolled his eyes at me.

"We're gonna go in through the front doors, Fitz has a extra pair of keys he's jacked from last year. We're gonna be quiet though, make sure nothing goes off, we go into the Nurses' office, grab Clare, Eli's and Drew's files and then get the fuck out alright?" Owen explained to me and I nodded. "You'll be lookout too. Along with Jake." KC said as he nodded to the new guy - Jake who nodded nervously as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Eventually we all made it to the front of Degrassi, the sign still glowed as it said _"Have a great summer kids!" _Owen scoffed at it and spit at the sign, I grimaced as I saw the saliva roll down the sign and I returned my attention to Fitz grabbing the keys out of his pocket and spending the next five minutes to find the right key much to KC's frustration.

"Hurry up asshole!" KC groaned as he looked at Fitz and Fitz rolled his eyes.

"Chill out man. Its one of the keys." Fitz said lowly as he finally found the right key and finally opened the door.

"About goddamn time." KC grumbled as he rolled his eyes and strode inside with Owen right on his heels, I was about to walk in until Dave shouldered me and walked in front of me and then Fitz walked in after him, all of them completely forgetting about me and Jake.

Jake quickly grabbed the door before it closed and I expected him to walk inside after his posse, but he held it open for me and shyly smiled.

"Ladies first." Jake murmured lowly and I slightly smiled at his manners before walking inside with Jake right next to me.

We quickly found KC and his clique by the nurses' office and Owen looked back at us and scoffed.

"Thought we forgot something. A dyke and a newbie. Figures." Owen muttered as he turned back to Fitz who was trying to open the nurses' office door, he finally succeeded and allowed KC, Owen, and Dave to walk in before he did, but before Fitz walked in he looked back at me and Jake.

"None of you fuck this up for us okay? If all of this goes well, I'll try to talk KC into calling you two by your first names, 'cause to be honest the name dyke is starting to get on my nerves." Fitz informed us before returning to his mean demeanor and walking inside, leaving me and Jake alone outside the door as 'look outs.'

"I wouldn't call you dyke you know." Jake said beside me and I looked at him confused.

"Why not? Everyone else does. Why don't you jump on the wagon and join in." I spat before picking at my blue nail polish and Jake sighed.

"Because its rude to call someone who chooses to like girls a dyke. Its not their fault that is the gender they are attracted too. I just wish KC and his little group would understand that." Jake muttered as leaned against the wall.

"Why does it bother you so much?" I asked Jake as I joined him and leaned against the wall with him.

"My sister was.. A lesbian. So I would get pissed whenever people called her a dyke." Jake murmured, his voice seemed like it was on the verge of cracking.

"Was? Did she magically stop being a lesbian?" I questioned as I looked at Jake and I noticed how his hazel eyes were starting to seem.. Watery?

"Was as in.. She's no longer here. She's.. She's dead." Jake murmured and I suddenly caught my breath and felt awful.

"Oh damn.. Jake I'm sorry that happened to your sister." I apologized, but Jake just shook his head.

"Everyone said they were sorry about what Rebecca did. Just because she jumped off a bridge that day.. They were all sorry, but they weren't." Jake sneered as I saw his eyes get even more watery as he blinked rapidly to hold the tears back.

"Why.. Why did she kill herself?" I asked Jake and Jake didn't answer, he just tried to wipe his fleeing tear away and I suddenly kicked myself for acting so impulsively and just straight up asking Jake why his own sister, _his own flesh and blood _killed herself.

"Crap, uhm, I shouldn't have told you that. That was.. Rude of me. I'm sorry." I apologize once more and Jake forced out a laugh.

"Its nothing, Jenna. Don't apologize. Its been four years since Rebecca died.. I can handle talking about her without being a complete mess you know." Jake said as he looked me over with his hazel eyes. I took this moment to effectively look Jake over, I hadn't spent all that much time noticing or checking out Jake, he didn't seem that important to me, just a fill in for Eli, he was nothing to the group. But it seemed like he was more than that, he was extremely tall, had messy brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes if you really paid attention to his facial features, he wasn't a bad looking guy, I can now understand why Sadie was running her mouth about Jake now, she thought he was cute, which he was in a way, but I found no attraction to him, only proving how much of a lesbian I really am.

"She jumped off a bridge one day." Jake began and I noticed how he stuffed his hands in his pockets uncomfortably. "I remember coming home from school that day and seeing Rebecca, she was how she usually was, cheerful, but it seemed forced to me, I knew something was up with her, but I didn't push it. I remember her talking to me that day, saying how even though I was always a pain in her ass - I was the best little brother she had in the world. That.. That one day I would make a great man out of myself and I would make some girl out there happy. She said I would be one hell of a man." I noticed how Jake's voice was starting to crack and even now I could feel my eyes start to water. "She told me she loved me and then she took off, no note, no nothing. After that, she never came home, Dad went crazy looking for her and they didn't find her months until some guy found her body floating around in a river.. She had jumped off a bridge after talking to me. Automatically I knew why she did it.." Jake trailed off as he tried to slyly wipe his tears away.

"Why did she do it?" I urged him on, for some reason I wanted to know more about Rebecca. Why she did what she did to Jake. How she could be so selfish to take her own life away from people who care.. People like Jake and his Dad.

Jake looked at me with red eyes and sighed.

"She did it because her group shunned her for being gay. She had no one after that. Not even her girlfriend, her girlfriend Hannah had stopped having a secret affair with her and ditched her for her boyfriend. It crushed Rebecca.. It crushed her so badly. Rebecca couldn't handle it anymore. Just hearing Eli mentioning that guy Adam in his speech a couple months ago made me remember Rebecca. Made me remember how bullying can ruin a whole person and people around them.. Just take a look at Eli, see how that ruined him?" Jake questioned me and I bit my lip.

Adam's death _did _ruin Eli. I remember in my freshman year how Eli was this sarcastic smartass who did nothing but read comics with Adam, everyone always though Adam was some freak, but Eli never saw that. After Adam's death.. It took a toll on the school and on Eli, he wasn't the same, him and Drew changed.

"Why did you tell me this?" I murmured as I looked up at Jake.

"Because I don't want you to be like Rebecca. Trust me when I say this Jenna.. People care. Someone would be devastated if you ever took your life.. Just don't ever do it. Especially over these assholes." Jake sneered as he looked back at the nurses' office and I noticed how there was a gleam of light coming out from underneath the crack under the door, the boys were still in there.

"I won't." I told Jake and he nodded a small smile on his lips.

Suddenly the door to the nurses' office swung open and KC, Owen, Dave and Fitz came out with three files in their hands.

"Easy as fuck." Owen told us as he waved a file that had the name of **Elijah Daniel Goldsworthy **printed in big black letters and I gulped, wondering what information would be in there.

"I wonder what's in Clare's here.." Dave said as he began to open the file that had the name **Clare Diana Edwards **printed in big black letters on the front and KC snatched the file from Dave's grubby hands."Don't go through them now asshole. We'll do that when we get back to my place." KC told Dave.

Dave nodded and soon we all moved towards the front doors and I felt a nudge on my arm and I looked over to see Jake striding beside me as he mouthed.

"Remember."

I smiled and nodded.

I certainly would remember Jake Martin's words that day.

How could I not?

It was the day that marked when I actually found my first best friend.

* * *

_Alli's Point of View: _

"Drew! Drew that tickles stop!" I exclaimed as I found myself laying down on Drew's bed, his body hovering over mine as he continued to trail kisses down my neck - my sweet spot as Drew called it, always using it against me when he wants to make me laugh.

"So what gorgeous. I love hearing you laugh and this is the easiest way to hear that laugh." Drew murmured as he bent down and pressed a loving kiss against my blissful lips and I gladly accepted the kiss, even pressing more into the kiss and as I pulled away I looked at Drew and then at the door.

"Are you sure everyone is asleep?" I asked Drew and Drew nodded,

"Cece and Mark are asleep with Elizabeth and Eli said he had to go take care of some things and would be back home by at least three and right now it's one." Drew informed me as he pressed another kiss to my forehead as I smiled.

Things had been going amazing for both me and Drew. September was already here and we would be back at school in a mere couple weeks and already it was Drew's senior year. Ever since Cece and Mark had moved in with their daughter Elizabeth things had been going even better. Drew has gotten a liking to Mark and baby Elizabeth, even a couple times I was over here to see Drew, I even witnessed Eli with Elizabeth or as he called her, Lizzy. She was basically the spitting image of Cece, the only things Eli and Lizzy even shared was Eli's green eyes and when she was older she'd probably get a smirk as well, I mean why wouldn't she, it was pretty much a Goldsworthy or as she is now, a Carter-Goldsworthy trait.

"What are you thinking about Bhandari?" Drew questioned me as he looked down at me with those eyes I loved.

I reached my hand up and placed it behind his neck, gently rubbing his neck.

"Just about how everything seems to be perfect now." I whispered as Drew smiled in response.

"Does seem like everything is.. Perfect." Drew murmured, but soon his smile faltered and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What's wrong?" I asked him and Drew sighed.

"I was thinking about.. Clare.." Drew said as he bit his lip and I sighed, feeling sadness sweep through me.

Clare was still a topic yet to be discussed with Eli.

"I can't keep it a secret forever, Alli." Drew muttered.

"You have to, Drew." I scolded Drew and he sighed and sat up and I did the same.

"I know I do.. But Eli is my best friend. I hate seeing him so down and confused about what's wrong with Clare, he asked me a couple days ago if I knew what would be wrong with her and I didn't know. I just told him that he should be thankful that she's better now." Drew told me and I looked away at the posters on Drew's walls.

"This is just.. I still can't believe it.. If that was you.." Drew's voice broke and I quickly reassured him by pressing several kisses on his neck and face and even climbing in his lap.

"Drew don't think that. I'm not gonna die anytime soon alright?" I comforted Drew and he sighed.

"I just.. I love you so much.." Drew trailed off and suddenly I looked up at him with wide surprised eyes.

He loved me?

"You love me?" I asked Drew incredulous and he laughed nervously.

"Of course I do.. Why wouldn't I?" Drew asked and I rolled my eyes.

"I cheated on you.. You cheated on me.. I never thought you'd fall back in love with me." I murmured nervously.

"Who said I ever fell out of it?" Drew asked and I looked back at him with a grin.

"I love you Drew Torres." I said softly and Drew chuckled, drawing me closer to him so he could kiss me gently.

"I love you too Alli Bhandari." Drew said as he ran a hand through my mane of hair and I looked back at the clock before trailing my fingers up his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken at that.

"You did say that Eli wouldn't be back until three right?" I asked Drew and he nodded as he breathed in and out heavily at my hand sliding under his shirt.

"Lets take advantage yeah?" I asked Drew and before I knew it, I was back on my back again and Drew was straddling me as we resumed where we left off.

* * *

_KC's Point of View:_

"So what does Drew's say?" I questioned Fitz as he went though Drew's file and he shook his head.

"Nothing really. Just says he has trauma from what happened to Adam, but we all knew that right?" Fitz asked and I shook my head as I took a long hearty drink from my can of beer as Fitz threw Drew's file on the coffee table.

"What about Eli's?" I asked Owen who was trifling through papers of Eli's, just squinting his eyes at all the information.

"Trauma. Same as Drew's. That and anxiety problems. Nothing major." Owen said with a bored tone as he threw Eli's file on the coffee table on top of Drew's file.

"That's boring shit. Clare better have something interesting." Dave noted as he looked over at me, as did the rest of our clique as I realized I still had Clare's file in my hands.

I set my can down on the table and opened up Clare's file, she had the usual any file would have, name, date of birth, parents information, home information. That was usually boring so I flipped through some more pages until I reached the health records part of the file, I squinted as I tried my best to read what the lettering said.

**Trauma from death.**

**Human Immunodeficiency Virus **

_Human Immunodeficiency Virus? _

Where the fuck have I heard that word before? Health class Guthrie.. Think back to Grade Nine.

"Guys? What is.. Human Immunodeficiency Virus?" I asked them all as I said the words slowly and looked up at their faces, which were blank and shocked. I looked at all of them narrowly. "What?" I asked again with a rougher tone and Jake cleared his throat."That is uh.. The long term for HIV. You know.. The terminal STD?" Jake informed me and suddenly I looked down at this piece of information in my hands like it was God. I couldn't believe I had found this out!

"Why would you ask that bro?" Owen asked as he set his beer can down on the coffee table and I laughed harshly as I held the file out to Owen who took it confusingly.

"Guess what I found out about Clare." I told Owen and after some skimming through, Owen's eyes widened at the news and he scoffed as he handed the file to Fitz as he smirked.

"I told you guys there was something wrong with that chick! She has an STD!" Fitz exclaimed and Jenna quickly snatched the file from his hands as she went through it and looked at it in shock.

"Holy crap.. She's _dying._" Jenna said with her mouth open agape and Jake leaned in closer to her to see the file and his own eyes widened at the news.

"Who cares! We just got our revenge!" Owen shouted and I smirked and nodded as I high fived, Owen.

"Milligan's right guys. We got our revenge." I told them all, but then Jenna spoke up as she handed the file to Jake.

"How can we use this as revenge?" Jenna asked as she crossed her arms across her chest and I sneered in her direction.

"I guarantee you Eli doesn't know about this. Or her friends. Or the school." Fitz started and I knew where he was going with that.

"I bet Clare cheated on Eli." I said sure of myself and Owen, Fitz and Dave nodded along with me.

"Clare doesn't seem like the cheating type.." Jenna murmured as she looked around at us nervously.

"And _you _didn't seem like the dyke type, but hey! Look you are." I spat and I saw as Jake's hands went rigid as he heard those words which left me confused, but Jenna quickly calmed him down as his lanky hands uncurled from their fist position.

"Anyway.." I said slowly as I looked back at my boys. "We plan this shit out before school starts. We get the revenge going a couple months into the school year so nothing will seem sketchy to them. Revenge smells so good boys." I told my group and they all smiled in response and I noticed from the corner of my eye how Jenna and Jake seemed off, like nervous and recluse.

I didn't need to care about those two anyway, I was too busy plotting for revenge. Nobody fucks with me.

Because if they do.. Their girlfriend will become the slut of the school.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View: _

Why was I out in the humid night air at two in the morning?

Could someone enlighten me to as why I had been sitting here for the past two hours?

Why I was sitting on my best friend's grave, expecting something out of coming here.

But I hadn't uttered a single word since arriving to Adam's grave.

Not until now.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, staring at the words **Adam Torres **carved onto the stone.

"Hey.." I started with a shaky voice. "I don't know if you can you know.. Hear me and what I'm saying.. But I needed to come here dude." I said as I looked down and started tearing off pieces of green grass. "I'm scared.." I breathed out as I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes and I blinked rapidly. "I'm scared about Clare.. And I don't know if she's okay.. She seems healthy now. She's smiling, laughing, giggling, she's the same ball of energy she always was. She tells me she just has a crappy immune system and that it always happens to where she'll get really sick, but.. I don't believe her Adam.. Sometimes I think she's dying just because of how she looks but.. She can't be dying.. She just can't." I said forcefully as I reached up and quickly wiped my tears away. "I just want my girlfriend to be okay.. I love her and.. This is so goddamn hard." I cursed as I felt more tears fall down my cheeks.

"_I haven't heard you that emotional in months man." _

That voice. I had heard that voice. It's been haunting me. It belonged to the first person who made me feel like I belonged.

It was the voice of my best friend.

I whipped my head to the direction of the voice and then I saw _him._

Fully dressed in what I saw him last in a year ago as he strode towards me and I quickly stood up and found myself frozen, numb, like I couldn't run away.

"Ready to bolt so soon bro? That's a new one." Adam teased as he was soon in front of me.

"Who.. What.. I.." I scrambled to find words and Adam just nodded along and when I quit babbling, Adam raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm not alive first off." Adam began and I felt my heart break a bit at hearing those words, a part of me wanted him to be alive, because I could really use the alive him right now. "Secondly. Everything will get better with Clare." Adam said knowingly and I gaped at him.

"How do you.." I trailed off and Adam rolled his eyes.

"I'm a freakin' angel dude. I see shit all the time." Adam told me and I nodded along like I knew what he meant when I was completely lost.

"I miss you." I murmured as I looked at Adam and he sighed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"I miss you too bro." Adam said, his voice breaking and I knew I had to ask him.

"Why? Why did you do it? Why did you take your life away from everyone who loved you? Why?" I screamed and I noticed how Adam's blue eyes filled up with tears as he sighed.

"I had to." Adam simply said.

"You put me through hell." I told Adam harshly, I wanted to divulge into how deep my depression was and how much trauma I was in after he overdosed, but seeing the pain and regret in his eyes, I decided against it.

"I know.. I'm sorry." Adam apologized and I sighed as I leaned against a tree and looked at Adam.

"How did things get so fucked up." I muttered angrily.

"That's how life is. Its fucked up." Adam told me and I bit my lip nervously.

"I just want Clare to be okay." I murmured to Adam and Adam stepped forward and placed his hand on my shoulder, only to see it go through and send shivers down my spine as he did so.

"She will be.. Eventually." Adam murmured softly and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Eventually? When is eventually, Adam?" I asked him and Adam shrugged before whispering.

"Sechs jahre."

I only looked at Adam in even more confusion.

"What the fuck kind of language is that, Adam? At least say it in French! That I can understand." I told Adam annoyed and Adam chuckled.

"I never did take French did I?" Adam teased and soon I could see him disappearing.

"Adam! Dude - Don't go!" I shouted, but it was too late, Adam was already gone and I was soon left alone in the cemetery once more.

_Sechs jahre._

What the fuck did that even mean?

How was that suppose to tell me when Clare was gonna be alright again?

Why won't anyone tell me anything?

* * *

**A/N: I made it past 400 reviews! That means soooooo much to me guys! Thank you so much for all your reviews! I'm happy to see how far this story has gone and how much support it has gotten over the months. The story will eventually end soon, how many chapters left is something I still haven't thought through, but if you have ANY other questions, please ask them here at my tumblr l u n r u s t i n. t u m b l r. c o m. And PLEASE review! I wanna see what your thoughts are on this chapter! (: **


	36. Calm Before The Storm

_Clare's Point of View: _

I sunk into the soft feel of Morty's car seats as I looked out the window and watched as we passed many trees, people, houses and cars. My mind engulfed in the look of everything outside that I didn't even feel Eli grab my hand, until he gave it a slight squeeze which made me jump out of my reverie as I looked over at my amused boyfriend.

"Is the view that great, Edwards?" Eli asked with a smirk and I rolled my eyes at his smugness.

"What, I can't look outside anymore without it being a crime?" I teased which made Eli roll his eyes this time as he squeezed my hand a little harder.

"How have you been feeling?" Eli asked quietly and I sighed heavily. This was a new thing Eli loved doing, everytime we met up, or talked on the phone, or texted each other, he always asked if I had been feeling okay.

"Eli.." I started, but Eli only groaned in response.

"Just tell me how you feel, Clare. That's all I wanna know." Eli told me blandly and I sighed.

"I feel good, Eli. Like everyday, I feel good." I informed Eli and he stole a side glance at me as he inspected my face and body which only made me feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable, why did he have to do this? I was fine, he didn't need to worry over this.

"Alright.." Eli said slowly as he paid attention to the road and I could feel him loosen the grip on our hands and I just pulled my hand away from his and crossed my arms across my chest as I continued to look out the window.

The rest of the ride was silent and uncomfortable as Eli drove into the Degrassi parking lot and quickly parked Morty in the senior parking lot, as I reached over to open my door, I felt Eli's cool touch on my arm and I looked back at him as he looked at me with sorrow filled green orbs.

"I'm sorry I always ask you how you're feeling. I know it must annoy the shit out of you, but I just need to always know, Clare. You're so unpredictable with your health that I just need to know." Eli explained in a slightly pained voice and I turned completely around to face Eli and I placed my hand on his face and softly smiled at him.

"I know you're worried, but if Darcy isn't worried, or Helen or Alli, then you shouldn't be either." I informed Eli and I noticed how he bit his bottom lip nervously.

"I just don't wanna see you get sick anymore. It basically kills me at times." Eli admitted and I could feel my heart snap at his words, that I only softly stroked his cheek.

"I can't guarantee that I won't get sick again." I started and I saw how Eli's face fell at my words, so I quickly finished the sentence. "But I can guarantee that nothing bad is gonna happen to me." I lied smoothly, I looked at Eli's face to detect if he picked up on my lie, but he didn't, he smirked and soon pulled me into his embrace and I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzled my face into his neck, taking in his scent and I could feel his face nuzzled into my neck as well as he pressed a kiss to my neck and soon pulled us apart as we were inches from each other's face.

This is what I wanted. To have Eli believe that I was fine - that I was _not _dying. To have him and myself have private moments like these, where he'd just hold me and kiss me.

_This was all that I wanted. And I wanted it forever._

I looked back up at Eli, to see the clean smirk on his face as he bent forward and slowly pressed his soft lips against mine, I gladly accepted the kiss and worked my way deeper into the kiss which caused Eli to moan softly in the back of his throat as his hands retreated to my lower back as my hands were working their way through his thick dark hair.

Although our little moment was soon ruined when we heard a loud tapping sound on Eli's window, Eli unwound himself from me as he looked behind himself to see Drew and Alli standing there, Alli looking a bit uncomfortable after having to witness her best friend making out with her new found _acquaintance _as she put it and Drew had a obvious smug smile on.

"Sorry to interrupt you two, but we got to go to this thing called school. You remember it right?" Drew asked us sarcastically through the window and Eli only rolled his eyes as he leaned forward and planted a kiss on my cheek before whispering.

"This time I won't be skipping classes to make out with Jenna, this time I'll be skipping classes to kiss you." Eli whispered lowly, only sending more chills down my spine as I exited Morty and slung my bag over my shoulder. Alli quickly came over to my side to give me a friendly hug before whispering,

"You haven't you know.." Alli questioned me and I could feel myself grow hot at Alli's question that I shook my head.

"Oh no.. No never. We've talked - he knows about the vow." I simply told Alli whilst stammering and Alli raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Seems like you two are pretty damn close." Alli commented with a smirk and I rolled my eyes.

"We may be close, but we haven't had sex, Alli." I murmured and Alli nodded her head.

"I know.. I understand why you can't." Alli said lowly as a glint of sadness crossed her eyes, of course Alli knew the real reason behind my vow of abstinence, having sex puts my partner which would be Eli at risk for my disease. I couldn't ever give him something like that, it'd mentally and physically kill me more than the disease was already doing to my body.

"Hey don't think about it, Clare." Alli reassured me. "Today is the first day of our junior year and we have _senior _boyfriends." Alli said with a flirty smirk as she looked over at Drew and licked her lips. I could only imagine what was going through my best friend's brain.

"Oh please, Alli. Keep the un pure thoughts to yourself, thank you." I told Alli sarcastically as we began walking towards the main entrance to Degrassi, Alli only giggled to my words.

"There is such thing as pure thoughts? Where are these pure thoughts? Where can I buy them Saint Clare?" Alli asked me teasingly as I mock punched her arm as I felt a blush creep over my face.

Soon Drew strode up next to Alli and put his arm around her shoulders as he pulled her in for a sneaky kiss.

"Watch where you hit my girlfriend, Edwards. She bruises easily. Plus I'd prefer if those bruises were from me." Drew said flirtatiously as Alli gasped and elbowed Drew in the ribs.

"Drew!" Alli exclaimed as Drew chuckled and only pressed a loving kiss on her forehead, making Alli's face light up with joy.

I quickly felt someone grab my hand and I looked to my left to see Eli interlacing our fingers as he smirked at me.

"Leave it to Drew to ruin our fun in Morty. Such a shame." Eli said in fake desperation and I giggled as he held the door open for me as we walked inside.

"Just to think, a year ago today was the first day I met you." Eli said with a smile and I rolled my eyes.

"Do you even remember the words you uttered to me that day?" I asked Eli and soon I saw regret in his features.

"Yeah.. Never did apologize for having my first words to you be, 'Shoo means get the fuck out doll face.'" Eli said with a nervous expression and I gently squeezed his hand.

"Don't worry about it. A lot has changed since then, Eli. Last year you were pretending to be some jerk who was being some cover up for a closeted lesbian. Now look at you. You're who you are now. You're _the _Eli Goldsworthy that you wanna be. Not what KC or Owen wanted you to be." I explained to Eli and soon Eli groaned after my explanation.

"And just as you mention them.." Eli began and I already knew what he was saying, I looked ahead to see KC walking down the hall with some of his clique trailing behind them, most of them had graduated last year, so now KC was left with only, Owen, Dave, Jake, Bianca, Jenna, Jess, Sadie, Marisol and a new girl who I hadn't seen before who had light brown hair and a slight lisp as she was talking in a hush voice with Marisol and they were staring directly at both Eli and me.

Eli tightened his grip on my hand as KC and his clique approached us, KC looked at us seriously, taking in our adjoined hands and Eli's somewhat protective stance with me before KC started busting up laughing and soon his clique started laughing as well, only some were laughing with confused looks on their dazed faces.

"Well, Well, Well. Shocked to see you two haven't broken up." KC commented as he looked at us once more with a smug smirk on his face.

"Why would we break up, Guthrie?" Eli sneered as he glared at KC.

KC merely shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"You never know what secrets people may keep from each other." KC simply implied as he looked at me with knowing eyes. I could feel my stomach flip as Owen and Dave gave me the same looks. _Its like they knew. _I thought to myself painfully, I dragged my gaze to Jenna and Jake who were looking at me nervously before Jenna began straightening out Jake's shirt and I soon returned my gaze to KC's.

"There is no secrets between us." Eli spat as his glare with KC continued.

"Whatever you say, bro." KC said with a chuckle as he shouldered past Eli to continue to walk down the hall, Owen and Dave did the same as they passed Eli. Jenna and Jake walked past us with their heads down. Jess, Sadie, Marisol and the other girl walked past me and scoffed as they looked at my outfit.

"You'd think being Darcy's sister would make you have a better taste in clothing. Guess not." Jess said as she clicked her tongue, I started to feel self conscious as she walked by and Sadie just shook her head as she retreated behind Jess, Marisol lightly touched my denim jacket and looked to the other girl.

"Look at this fashion disaster, Katie. Obviously people don't know how to dress these days." Marisol commented and Katie heavily sighed.

"Guess so. Such a shame. We should donate clothes to the less fortunate." Katie added and soon her and Marisol started giggling uncontrollably as they walked past me and I started to feel tears sting in my eyes as their words sunk in.

"If I wasn't a dude, I would totally _bitchslap _those little sluts." Eli growled as he looked back at Jess and the others turning the corner at the hall.

I shook my head and blinked rapidly as I let go of Eli's hand and quickly started to walk down the hall as I could feel the tears sting my eyes.

"Woah, Clare - baby where are you going." Eli asked, his voice laced with concern as he started to catch up with me, I just shook my head and continued down the hall, until I felt a tug on my arm and I was pulled into a deserted hallway by Eli who was looking at me with worried green orbs.

"Baby.. Why are you crying?" Eli asked as he began to wipe my tears away with his fingers, I couldn't find my tongue to respond to him, but Eli sighed heavily. "Is it because of what those _sluts _said about you?" Eli asked and I nodded as I felt more tears rain down my face.

I hated being called out for what I chose to wear, its what I liked to wear and to be humiliated by those girls.. It only made me feel worse.

"Oh Clare.. Don't listen to those girls. They're shit okay? I _love _what you wear, it what makes you, you. Just don't listen to them okay?" Eli tried to reassure me, but I shook my head as more tears spilled from my eyes and I looked at Eli with blurry vision.

"No, Eli! I'm.. I'm sick of them always making fun of us! I hate it.. I hate it so much.." I cried out as I broke into sobs, people from the other hallway were starting to stare at us, so Eli quickly pulled on my arm and pulled me further down the hall until we were unseen by the other students.

Eli then grabbed my face between his hands and looked at me with concerned green orbs.

"Clare.. I know that they are being dicks right now, I know that they are hurting you with their words, but you have to ignore them baby or they'll think you're letting your guard down and they'll think its okay to mess with you, you can't let them do that." Eli murmured and I let out a strangled breath as I started to wipe my tears away with my sleeve and Eli quickly started helping me as he pulled a tissue from his leather jacket pocket and began wiping my tears away with the tissue, careful not to smudge what makeup I had left on.

"You're so good to me, Eli." I murmured as I looked up at Eli and he responded with a half smirk.

"Like I've said before.. You deserve it. Now you don't need to cry anymore, I hate seeing you cry." Eli told me as he threw the used tissue in the trash next to us and I sniffled as I looked up at him with a embarrassed smile.

"I'm lucky to have you." I whispered and Eli smiled as he slowly pushed me against the wall gently and kissed my forehead softly before murmuring."It's the other way around, sweetheart. We both know that."

I felt a blush creep over my cheeks at his words as he grasped my hand once more and started walking me down the hall as the bell shrilled in the air.

We were at Degrassi once more.

* * *

_Fiona's Point of View:_

"_Oh Adam! Look!" I exclaimed as I skipped past Adam in our grassy field as I approached a butterfly and jumped high to catch it only to see it fly higher. I looked upward in disappointment as Adam chuckled from his sitting position under the oak tree and looked at me with an amused look on his face._

"_Alive or dead, you've always had a fascination with butterflies, right, Fi?" Adam questioned me and I nodded feverishly as I quickly skipped over to him and was about to sit down next to him and enjoy our moments together when Georgia approached us._

_Georgia was Adam and I's Angel Counselor, she's the one who trained us to help aide and support Drew and Eli, why was she here now? She's never approached us before, I'd never seen her out of her office. Once Adam saw her presence, he jumped up to his feet and was soon by my side as the middle aged woman looked at us both._

"_Oh young teens." Georgia murmured as she always did when she saw Adam and myself together. "Spending eternity together. Just what every teenager wants." Georgia implied with a raised eyebrow and if I had blood in my veins, I would have blushed._

"_What are you here for, Georgia?" Adam asked in a slightly nervous voice._

_Georgia sighed and took off her glasses as she placed them on her head and looked at both of with a gleam of sadness in her eyes._

"_I'm afraid your Angel duties are over with." Georgia simply said._

_I looked at Adam in shock and Adam mirrored the same response in his blue eyes as he looked back at Georgia, baffled._

"_Over with? Why? Did we do something wrong? Not visit them enough? I _**just **_visited, Eli, Georgia!" Adam exclaimed crazily as I placed a hand on his arm, to slightly quiet him down._

_"You didn't do anything wrong, my dears, if anything you've done everything right. Everything is fine with Mr. Goldsworthy and Mr. Torres. There is no reason to aide them now.' Georgia explained with pursed lips and I looked at Adam from the corner of my eye._

_Georgia was right, I hadn't visited Drew in months, Adam had only visited Eli face to face once and other times had visited him through Eli's head, afraid to face Eli face to face. Plus they were doing good, last time I had overheard from Adam, Drew went to rehab, he's clean and he's in a good relationship with Alli and then Adam proceeded to tell me how Eli is doing okay with Clare, they're having some problems, but Adam couldn't possibly tell Eli about Clare and her disease and how could us - two dead teenagers stop the rampage that was KC's clique and their constant teasing. _

"_I suppose you're right." I answered softly and Adam nodded, Georgia looked at us sadly._

"_Oh don't be too down about this. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Best sooner than later. Your friends will be alright. Trust me." Georgia said softly as she begun to turn on her heel and leave us alone, until I cried out._

"_What are we suppose to do now? Just.. Sit here?" _

_Georgia turned around and faced us as a small smile crossed her face._

"_Some teenage couples who have died and found their way together here in Heaven sometimes go to Adoption Center. Since they can no longer age, they decide to adopt children." Georgia explained and I looked at her a bit baffled at first, but then in awe. _

_The thought of adopting a child who died without their mother or father here with them, broke my heart, but Adam and myself raising one of them? It brought bliss to my heart._

"_Can I speak with Adam about this, Georgia?" I asked Georgia and she nodded as she trotted off and I faced Adam._

"_Please?" I begged Adam and he sighed._

"_Fi.. A child?" Adam questioned and I nodded._

"_Yes, Adam. A child. One that could call us momma and daddy. I've always wanted a family." I admitted to Adam with a nervous smile._

_I saw hesitation in Adam's eyes and how he broke his stare with me as he looked around, I gulped and awaited his answer._

* * *

_Jenna's Point of View: _

As we all quickly made our way to KC's locker, I decided that now was the time to show KC I was still in for this whole revenge plot, despite I had mixed feelings and part of me didn't wanna hurt Eli or Clare anymore, another part of me didn't wanna leave this group.

I shoved my way past Marisol and Katie and made my way to KC who had Jess practically clinging to his arm. How could he even have a sophomore attached to his arm like that? I shook the thought from my mind as I faced KC.

"Why did you pass up that opportunity back there?" I sneered and crossed my arms across my chest and I looked at KC who sighed and rolled his eyes as he slammed his locker shut and placed his arm around Jess's shoulder who was glaring at me.

"Jenna.. We discussed this. We're gonna set the plan in motion in a couple months so they won't suspect anything. God, why don't you ever listen anymore?" KC asked him in a sneering tone, I bit my lip and looked down at my high heels.

I didn't wanna admit to KC how I had been having sexual fantasies about Bianca the whole summer, how all my painting was of Bianca's beautiful nude body, how I had imagined all summer how it would feel to have her bite me everywhere.

"What were you doing? Having sexual fantasies about some chick?" KC chortled and soon Dave joined in the laughter.

"I bet it was about Sadie." Jess joined in as she elbowed her best friend and Sadie looked at Jess in disgust.

"Gross Jess! Jenna is a.. ugh dyke!" Sadie exclaimed. "Plus I have my eye on someone else anyway." Sadie murmured as she looked past me and directly at Jake who went red at the cheeks and looked down at his boots.

"Maybe Jenna had been dreaming about, Marisol. She wants some dark chocolate." Sadie said with a smirk as Marisol's expression soon became disgusted. "Excuse me while I barf! God Sadie! Jenna is a _dyke_! I would never - ugh!" Marisol said disgustingly as she walked off away from us with Katie on her arm.

I looked around at everyone who were in hysterics around me, everyone but Jake who mouthed.

"I'm sorry.."

I blinked rapidly as I tried to hold back tears as I ran away from the clique and down many numerous halls as tears fled down my cheeks. Soon I rounded the corner into another hallway when my heart shattered into a million pieces at the scene before me.

Bianca was entangled in Owen's embrace as he basically sticking his filthy tongue down _my _Latina's throat. Bianca was making loud moans as Owen's hands found their way to her ass and he was soon squeezing the life out of her ass cheeks.

I let out a strangled sob and Bianca and Owen broke apart from each other and Owen looked at me in disgust.

"Look at this, Bee. The dyke has come to ruin our fun." Owen sneered lowly as he looked at my body with a glare.

I looked at Bianca in desperation, hoping she'd somehow save me from Owen's already teasing, but Bianca snorted.

"Wow. The dyke always ruins the straight fun. C'mon, Owen. Lets go fuck somewhere else. Like in your truck baby." Bianca cooed as she pressed her perfect lips on his dirty lips which only made my stomach churn as I was watching with horror in my eyes.

"You.. You bitch!" I exclaimed as I approached Bianca and slapped her clear across the face, a loud snap coming off the sound.

"You.. You think you can just - go around making out with guys? You filthy heart breaking spastic fucking whore!" I screamed as I looked into Bianca's brown eyes with pure hatred.

"But Goddammit I fucking love you!" I shouted as I grabbed Bianca by her face and forced her lips on mine, I noticed how Bianca had struggled at first, but soon gave up as I pulled away.

I looked at Owen who was staring at us in shock.

"What.. The.. Fuck.." Owen breathed.

I looked at him and groaned.

"Oh and Owen? This is a present from me to you." I said with a sickly sweet smile as I quickly kneed Owen low blow in his crotch and he doubled forward, holding his package in pain as he cried out in pain.

"What the fuck, Middleton!" Bianca exclaimed as she ran her hand through her wild curly hair.

"Fuck off, Bianca." I spat as I shouldered her as I walked past her, leaving a painful Owen and confused Bianca behind myself.

No one fucks with me anymore.

* * *

_Adam's Point of View: _

_I looked at my lovely girlfriend as sadness crept up in her grey eyes and I sighed. The idea of adopting a baby with Fiona wasn't a totally bad idea.. It was just, how were we suppose to raise a child? _

"_Fi.. I don't know.." I hesitated, as much as I always wanted a daughter or son when I was older, I never suspected adopting a dead child with Fiona, never._

"_Adam its okay.. We have all of eternity for you to decide. I just wanna give one of them a home. They're probably all scared being without a mother or father." Fiona whispered as I noticed her grey eyes becoming glassy, a sign she was sure about to start crying and I just couldn't handle her crying. I hated whenever she cried._

_"Alright.. Fi. We'll adopt." I whispered to Fiona and soon her grey eyes were filled with glee as she threw her arms around my neck and held me close in her arms, I could only embrace my love back as she slowly pressed her lips to mine and I smiled throughout the kiss._

_She was the only thing that made me happy anymore, I was happy she was here with me._

"_Lets go and see our selection." Fiona murmured as she tugged on my hand and we started down the long grassy hill as Fiona squeezed my hand._

"_I love you, Adam." Fiona whispered. "We might have gone through hell and back.. But you're gonna make one hell of a dad." Fiona added with a smile and I couldn't help, but smirk._

"_I love you too, Fiona. So much. I'm glad to be doing this with you." I whispered as I pulled her closer. _

"_Do you think they'll miss us?" Fiona murmured and I knew who she was talking about and I sighed._

"_If they miss us just as much as we miss them - then yes. Of course they miss us." I informed Fiona and she nodded as she leaned her head on my shoulder._

"_Despite so many issues we went through, we conquered them baby." Fiona murmured and I chuckled._

"_That we did, baby." _

_And with that, Fiona and I disappeared into a white flash, where we'd soon be encountered with a child of our own._

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for it being late! Its been a hectic weekend, Harry Potter came out and it practically killed me! Amazing movie that made me CRY! Anyway! This will be the last appearance of Adam and Fiona, the story will be ending soon as well. I do believe I have 42 chapters with a epilogue. (: so please review! It'd be great to have 500 reviews before this story ends! (; **


	37. Some News To Share

**A/N: Since some of you are dying to know, there will be no sequel. There is no point or purpose to do one and it'll seem like I'm growing the plot out longer. Like I said, there is gonna be 42 chapters and an epilogue, the epilogue is shown ten years into the future of the last chapter and will explain everything. I have a feeling even after the epilogue you'll want me to do a sequel and no, I don't wanna do a sequel that will be boring and based off of some other couple. There is no reason for a sequel, I just need to put this out here. **_**I'm not gonna do a sequel. **_**So please don't ask anymore or send me questions about it. **

**And please ask your questions here at l u n r u s t i n. t u m b l r. c o m. I'm always on there, so please ask questions there on my tumblr.**

**Now onto chapter thirty seven.**

* * *

_Jake's Point of View: _

"Guys. Time to set our plan in motion." KC said with a devilish smirk as he looked at Owen, Dave and then to myself, I swallowed and tucked my shaking hands in my pockets so no one would see how badly I really was shaking.

Two months into the school year and already KC is ready to set the plan in motion, determined to make everything hell by the end of today. I didn't agree with any of this - none of it! I came to this group, seeking someway into the in crowd, somewhere where I wouldn't be some outsider like I had seen Eli and Clare be, sitting alone, but with _each other. _Something I never had.

I sighed and looked off to my left as KC began rambling with Owen when I saw Eli and Clare walk through the front doors together, Eli had his arm woven protectively around Clare's waist, while her arm was snaked behind his back, grabbing his right hand in hers as they giggled in amusement at each other.

Just like many people had been saying around school, _they were pretty perfect together. _

It had gotten to the point of where everyone was use to Eli and Clare's relationship, rarely made a big deal out of it, never said anything to them face to face, everyone afraid of what Eli would do. They all knew he could do damage, but what kind of damage could that dude do? Once I had heard he beat the living shit out of KC, then again I would never know.

Soon I felt a tug on my arm pull me back from the group and I was face to face with Sadie - my new girlfriend.

"Hey you." Sadie crooned as she got up on her tip toes and pressed her lips to mine a little too forcefully for my taste, I slowly pushed her back."Woah there, Rowland. Calm down." I told Sadie and she rolled her eyes.

"You always tell me that when we kiss. When can we ever kiss and you won't push me away?" Sadie asked in a snobbish tone as she set her hands on her hips and looked at me.

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck.

"Uhm.. Maybe we should just take a small.. Break, Sadie." I murmured lowly, afraid of her outbursts.

"Break?" Sadie exclaimed and soon we were gathering the attention of other student and I swiftly pressed my index finger to her mouth as an attempt to make her quiet.

"Yes, break, Sadie. We aren't exactly working out right now." I tried to tell Sadie gently and she scoffed and shoved me against the lockers, which wasn't the most pleasant feeling to say at the least.

"Fuck off, Martin. Just go off to your dyke friend and have her turn you gay!" Sadie exclaimed as she ran a hand through her long mane of hair and walked off angrily.

"Sadie! Sadie come back!" Jess shouted as she started running after her best friend.

Well there went my relationship.

"That was surely interesting." Jenna said lowly and I sighed, nodding along to her words. "Sadie is a bitch anyway. You don't need her, Jake. Besides, I saw that girl who's in my art class.. The uhm red head, Hannah, she was talking pretty animatedly about you." Jenna said as she nudged me playfully and I rolled my eyes.

"Hannah is pretty, but I'm gonna lay low for relationships now. They suck." I said with a bit of acid in my tone and Jenna surely noticed that.

"I know what you mean. I'm still bitter about Bianca.." Jenna growled and my heart swelled for her and her losing Bianca as her girlfriend, I placed my hand on Jenna's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.

"Don't worry too much about it, Jenna. Bianca doesn't know what she just lost." I reassured my best friend and Jenna slightly smirked.

"Aw shucks." Jenna said teasingly and I rolled my eyes once more until I heard KC bark.

"Jake! Jenna! Here now!"

A bit surprised he used Jenna's name, we moved forward to KC's commands to his small circle consisting of Owen, Dave, Jenna and myself.

"Okay, so, we're actually gonna announce Clare's little disease over the loud speaker." KC filled both Jenna and myself in and I could feel my stomach flip at his words.

"Over the loud speaker? Why?" I asked nervously.

KC scoffed and looked at me smugly.

"Scared for the slut, Jake? She's just a slut with an STD. The school deserves to know what she's carrying between her legs. That way she can't spread her disease everywhere." KC said with a smirk and I gulped, slowly nodding along with Jenna who was showing fear on her face too.

Loud speaker was too much, to announce something like that would be God awful, especially for Clare and possibly Eli if he didn't know.

Can you imagine finding out your girlfriend is dying from a STD over the loud speaker at your goddamn high school?

Eli would be crushed - furious - broken.

How could KC even go _that _far, that was just fucking cruel.

"Yeah, but-" I was about to state my opinion on this when Owen and Dave took KC's flanks when I saw the anger flash in KC's pupils as his fists started to clench."Yes, Jake?" KC sneered and I gulped once more as Jenna placed her hand on my arm as more fear shown in her blue eyes.

"Nothing, KC. Nothing at all." I quickly said and KC smirked as his fists unclenched and Owen and Dave let out guffaws at my nervousness.

"We're gonna start this plan out right now. We're going to the main office where the loud speaker is now. Owen and Dave will be sure to get them out of the office while I try to get to the loud speaker, you and Jenna take look out." KC told us and we shook our heads feverishly and as KC, Owen and Dave started walking down the hall, Jenna grabbed my arm roughly.

"We can't let this happen, Jake. We can't, Eli doesn't know probably, most likely he doesn't fucking know and we can't let him know now. Clare and him.. I know I said they deserved this, but I was angry Eli told everyone my secret, but now.. Him and Clare are happy with each other, we can't allow this to happen." Jenna explained quickly and I noticed how flushed her face was getting as well.

"Jenna.. Just calm down. We'll try to stop this okay?" I reassured Jenna and she nodded.

"By now they must be separated and going to their first period classes, then again I don't know." Jenna said breathlessly as she looked around herself.

"Jenna, Jenna.. Just calm down. I'll go looking for Clare, she must be by her locker like I always see her by it in the mornings. You go looking for Eli." I told Jenna and she nodded.

"What do I say to Eli?" Jenna asked with wide pupils and I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair.

"Just get him out of the school. Say anything to get him out, while I'll find Clare and just tell her she needs to get out of the school before KC gets to the loud speaker." I explained to Jenna.

Jenna nodded and soon wrapped me up in a hug, one of the warmest hugs I'd ever received.

"Thank you, Jake. Really.. Thank you." Jenna murmured in my ear and I nodded at her words.

"You're welcome, Jenna." I whispered and as we pulled away, Jenna puckered her lips and blinked rapidly to keep her tears away.

"Just run. Find him." I encouraged Jenna and soon Jenna set off down the hall quickly, pushing past people in a scurry.

I swallowed and set down a hall I knew would eventually lead me to Clare's locker.

I don't think I ever had my heart beat as fast as it was now, maybe once before, years ago when that police officer had delivered the news to me and my dad, I don't think since then I ever had my heart beat as fast.

Maybe because I didn't know the outcome of this scenario that KC was planning, for all I know Eli could do something horrible - or Clare. Or.. I didn't even wanna hear about that, I didn't wanna come to school to hear everyone buzzing about yet another death since Degrassi was famous for its yearly death of students.

Quickly I stopped in my tracks when I saw Clare by her locker - alone I might add. She was pulling a textbook from her locker and stuffing it in her bag as she proceeded to shut her locker closed, but I quickly ran over to her breathless and Clare looked up at me a bit confused.

"Uhm.. Jake?" Clare asked a bit confused as she tilted her head to the side, as if she didn't quite remember my name. Didn't bother me all that much, no one really remembers my name all that often anyway.

"Forget my name, Clare." I told her quickly as I tried to catch my breath. Clare eyed me carefully, a bit of worry in her blue orbs.

"What's the matter, Jake?" Clare asked, her voice a bit shaky as many things possibly crossed her mind.

"I know." I breathed out. Clare was a bit taken back from my words, her hands trembling and her lips quivering as well.

"No.. No you don't know anything." Clare stammered out as her hands began to shake even more profusely.

I sighed and grabbed her arm, leading her into a empty classroom where I closed the door tight which caused Clare to gulp and show sheer fear in her eyes.

"Don't.. Don't hurt me okay? I'll.. I'll do anything, just don't hurt me because of my secret." Clare whispered with fear lacing her voice as she was backed into a desk chair.

I shook my head at her and started to rub the bridge of my nose frustratingly.

"Just because I know doesn't mean I'm gonna do anything to you, Clare!" I exclaimed which caused Clare to jump a bit at my words. "I won't hurt you. Okay? I promise. I won't rape you or abuse you if you're thinking that." I reassured Clare and she looked at me with narrowed blue orbs. Not quite believing me.

"How do you even know?" Clare gasped out as she looked at me confused yet frightened.

"KC." I simply said and all the color in Clare's face drained out. "Its his way of getting revenge. I.. I've known for months. Jenna has too. But KC is planning to tell the whole school, Clare." I informed Clare in a hushed voice as it seemed like all the life in her face disappeared.

Clare could only utter one word. One name.

"Eli."

I nodded. It was already so evident she hadn't told him of her problem, it probably scared her to the core about telling Eli of her secret, even after he himself told everyone his, but at least he did that on whim, she's gonna have hers revealed without her permission.

"I.. I.." Clare began to stutter out as she started to shake. I quickly placed my hands on her shoulders as an lame attempt to calm the tiny girl.

"Clare. You need to calm down. Okay? Jenna is off to find Eli right now, she's gonna take him outside the school so he doesn't hear KC's announcement okay?" I assured Clare and Clare gulped as she pushed my hands away and started scrambling for the door, leaving her bag in the classroom as she began to flee from the classroom and down the hall.

I quickly rushed out of the classroom and was right on Clare's trail as I spun myself around to face her so she could stop running.

"What are you doing!" I exclaimed in clear confusion and Clare groaned frustratingly as I noticed tears gleaming in her blue orbs.

"I'm gonna find Eli okay? Then I'll tell him before KC does!" Clare exclaimed as she pushed past me and started heading down the hall as I quickly followed her trail as we wove in and out between students and faculty, earning profanities from everyone, but at the moment none of us cared.

We had one destination and we were sure to make it before KC did.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View: _

All I could feel was pleasure creeping into every body part I had as Alli situated herself on top of myself, trailing her small fingers down my bare chest, causing a chill to ripple through my spine at her mere touch.

The things Alli Bhandari did to me.

I clutched at the jacket, Alli was wearing and quickly tried to tear it off as Alli tried her best to shrug it off as well while her lips were attached to my own.

I immediately loved that I had agreed to skip on school just to have a day to Alli and myself, we hadn't had a lot of those recently. Mostly our schedules were filled and busy, with Alli now joining spirit squad both to mine and Clare's surprise, Alli has been spending quite a lot of time with two other cheerleaders, Marisol and Katie. Then with me, I've been helping Cece and Mark out a lot, especially when it comes to baby Lizzy who pretty much everyone - including Eli, adores. I've also picked up a stable job working with Mark at his car shop, something that Eli would have taken if not he wasn't still unsure about Mark and his commitment to his mother and new baby sister.

Didn't really blame Eli there, I'd be a bit unsure too about a new man in his mother's life as well. Thinking about mothers' only brought to mind, my own, my own fucking mother who wasn't even around me anymore, who pretty much abandoned me, her only son.

I'm eighteen now anyway, I'm pretty much free.

"Mmm." I moaned against Alli's lips, pulling me from my reverie as I suckled on Alli's lips as she slowly, but surely slipped her tongue past my lips and started playfully attacking the inside of my mouth.

She was lucky I didn't slip up and bite both our tongues, that would have been pretty damn painful.

"I - love - you." Alli said between kisses as she placed her hands on either side of my face, pulling me into a deeper kiss.

I moaned deeply against the kiss, tangling my hands in her black mane of hair.

"Oh.." Alli began to moan, her moans clear and deep as she deepened the kiss to where our noses were smashed against each other.

"Oh.. A-Adam.." Alli moaned.

Wait.. _Adam? _

Alli quickly stopped kissing me and looked at me with scared brown eyes.

"I.." Alli began and I scoffed as I slightly pushed her off myself as she landed with a thud on my floor and honestly didn't care I had pushed her either.

"Why did you moan my brother's name, Alli?" I asked Alli acidly and Alli gulped as she stood up and wrapped her arms around herself as she looked at me with fear in her eyes.

Although she wasn't answering. She wasn't answering me at all.

I rose from my bed and started approaching Alli as she started backing away from me, frightened and trembling.

"Fucking answer me, Alli." I demanded from my pursed lips.

Alli's bottom lip started trembling as she leaned against the wall, her eyes widening as I was now so close to her, I could feel her breath on my neck.

Out of anger I grabbed Alli's arms and pinned them to the wall and I pressed my forehead to Alli's as I had her pinned against the wall.

"Tell me now." I let out a small whimper and I only tightened my grip on her arms even more, hearing her let out a small yelp.

"Tell me NOW!" I shouted as Alli soon started to sob, tears rushing down her cheeks.

"I cheated on you with Adam before he died." Alli whispered.

* * *

_KC's Point of View: _

"Dude. I'm so anxious for this." Dave said with a smirk on his face and I looked at Dave smugly as I clapped his shoulder.

"We all are, bro." I agreed with Dave as he nodded with a smug look on his face."Hey. Where's Jake and the dyke?" Owen asked and I suddenly stopped in my tracks and looked around to see that Jake and Jenna were no where around us and I rolled my eyes.

"Probably bailed or Jenna started crying and Jake went to 'comfort' her because that's his new best friend." I scoffed at the idea of Jake and Jenna being all buddy-buddy, it didn't make any damn sense. Same as Jenna kissing Bianca from what Owen told me.

Jenna had so many goddamn issues.

Such a dyke.

"Who cares. They'd slow us down anyway. Lets just get this over with." I grumbled as I continued down the hall with Owen and Dave still on my flanks.

As we ventured towards the main office, Owen and Dave quickly held me back and I looked at my right hand men confused.

"What dudes?" I asked them.

"How do we distract Ms. Lowes and Ms. Dupree?" Dave asked in a low voice and I suddenly remembered he meant the front office ladies, the microphone was just beyond them, we'd need to sneak past them or get them out of the way while we announce our news. I looked at my guys smugly.

"Let me handle this." I told them slyly as I shouldered past my men and towards Ms. Lowes, her usually frizzy blond hair up in a rather neat bun as she was typing away on her computer. I leaned onto the counter and looked at Ms. Lowes with a smirk."Hey Ms. Lowes." I greeted her.

Ms. Lowes looked up from her screen and automatically her cheeks flushed with red as she noticed me, I knew Ms. Lowes had a thing for high school boys, I had heard her gossiping about it to Ms. Dupree one afternoon as I ditched my math class.

"Hello Mr. Guthrie. What may I help you with?" Ms. Lowes asked with a small smile, I could only imagine the dirty things going though this middle aged woman's mind.

"I need both you and Ms. Dupree's help you see." I said with forced tension in my voice. Ms. Dupree - who had been listening in the whole time looked at us with a quizzing look.

"What do ya' need us for boy?" Ms. Dupree asked in her heavy accent and I looked off directly at Dave.

"My buddy Dave told me how our friends.." I began, but then suddenly had to think up some names, any names. "Our friends - Jess and Sadie were hurt you see! I believe one broke their ankle and the other broke their wrist. Dave needs you two - fine women to help them out with him." I explained to the middle aged women as they blushed at my words, I smirked to myself.

_This is working! These old hags are buying what I just came up with on the spot!_

"Thanks for telling us, KC. C'mon Desiree, we're gonna help Mr. Turner here with Ms. Martello and Ms. Rowland." Ms. Lowes said as she rose from her office chair with Ms. Dupree by her side as they rushed to find the first aid kit under the desk.

Dave quickly grabbed me by the arm, alarm in his eyes.

"Dude! Jess and Sadie aren't hurt bro!" Dave exclaimed in a hushed voice and I rolled my eyes.

"I know dude. But Sadie ran off hurt this morning and Jess chased after her, so they are somewhere and are obviously upset. Just lead Ms. Lowes and Ms. Dupree on a wild goose chase until you hear me on the over speaker." I explained to Dave and he nodded.

Soon Ms. Lowes and Ms. Dupree were on Dave's heels as they left the office, I quickly rushed behind the desks where the over speaker was at and smirked to Owen as he looked at me smugly."Its time bro." I said with a smirk.

"Lets do this shit." Owen said as I pressed the red button that read **On **and I smugly said.

"Hello, Hello, Degrassi. I have some news to share."

* * *

_Jenna's Point of View: _

I had never ran so much during my whole sixteen years of living as I ran down the many halls of Degrassi.

I need to find Eli. Where the fuck would he be right now?

I already passed his locker, he wasn't there and neither was Clare, hopefully Jake got to her and she's out of the school by now, but I still need to find, Eli. He was the main target here.

As I shoved past random students earning shouts like,

"_Watch where you run, dyke!"_

"_Lesbo Jenna is on the loose!"_

"_Jenna is gonna find some girl to tongue with!" _

"_Aw shit! Watch out! Middleton's on the prowl for some pussy!"_

I ignored their offensive terms as I continued to dart through the many students, it felt like I had already gone through the whole damn school.

For all I know, KC is already in the main office, ready to announce to the world about Clare's secret.

I couldn't let her go through what happened to me with secrets.

I just couldn't.

Then with having to deal with seeing Eli so utterly broken? Eli is such a good guy, underneath that façade he made, what he did for me, he didn't need to do, he never meant to find me kissing Bianca one day.

He _did _mean to cover for me, make us a deal of sorts, a deal I gladly accepted too.

Eli Goldsworthy is a damn good man and doesn't deserve half of the shit he deals with daily.

Although suddenly I saw Eli emerge from the boys washroom as he stuffed his phone in his pocket, I breathed a sigh of relief as I finally found him, the front doors weren't that far away, I could save this. I could do this.

I ran up to Eli out of breath and he looked at me confused.

"Jenna?" Eli asked, an eyebrow raised at my current state. I quickly grabbed his arm and started moving towards the front doors.

"C'mon, Eli. We need to go." I quickly said, panting as I did so, but Eli wouldn't budge.

"What? Go where? Jenna, what is going on?" Eli asked baffled as I continued to try to drag him to the front doors.

"Just listen to me when I say, you do _not _wanna be here right now. Something bad is gonna happen and you need to come with me." I said as quickly as I could as I gripped on Eli's arm tighter, he started to walk with me, but in a slow, daze like manner as he looked at me oddly.

"Then whatever this is - I need to find, Clare." Eli said, alarm in his voice and I shook my head."We don't have time, Eli! We need to go now!" I exclaimed, but Eli shook his head.

"But Cla-" Eli began, but we were soon interrupted by two events happening at the same time.

First off, Clare and Jake had ran up to us, in a breathless state as Eli stared at them in confusement and shock.

Secondly, the loud speakers started buzzing and soon an acidic voice echoed through the halls.

"Hello, Hello, Degrassi. I have some news to share."

I looked to Jake, all the color in his face had drained and by the look in his hazel eyes, I knew the color in mine had drained out too. I looked to Clare to see that her face was a mixture of shock and fear, tears glistening in her blue eyes as KC began to talk even more.

"I have some rather exciting news of someone, no other than Clare Edwards." KC hissed through the loud speaker.

Clare gulped and I looked at Eli who's eyes were darting from the speaker to Clare's fearful face.

"Clare.." Eli began, but soon was cut off by KC's manic laugh.

"I bet Eli is with Clare right now. Oh, such a beautiful couple. Good majority of the school worships the goddamn ground those two walk on. Well." KC paused to chuckle. "Not anymore, because you see, Clare Edwards is not who everyone think she is. She's in fact, been hiding the biggest secret."

It was seeming like the world was stopping.

Like no one could speak.

Like no one could move.

Like no one could _breathe._

* * *

**A/N: Please review! I'm aiming for 500 reviews, although it would never happen, I'm still aiming for it!**


	38. Revenge Smells Sweet

**A/N: Chapters from here on out will pretty much be intense, I believe I have a couple filler chapters, but the rest is just intense. I also noticed how many of you said Jenna finally got a "heart". If you guys ever re-read a Jenna POV again throughout this story, you'll see she's always had a heart, I just need to get this out, Jenna is one of my favorite characters to write in this story, right next to Eli and Drew. Jenna **_**does **_**have a heart in fact, its always been there, if not she wouldn't have done what she's done throughout the whole story - try to protect people. She's just **_**scared **_**just like Eli said. I just wish some of you could try to understand that, she's a good character who pretended throughout her whole life. It always irked me to see people say she's a bitch or they hate her, when in fact you all hated who she use to be. Sorry for rambling, but I needed too. (: **

**Now onward to chapter thirty eight-**

* * *

_KC's Point of View:_

Ecstasy was running through my veins.

This was it.

This was the moment when I finally get revenge on that _asshole _who embarrassed me and humiliated me in front of my peers. Made me lose all respect this school had on me.

All because of that _whore._

Ever since Clare had began attending here at Degrassi, life for everyone has been hell, if that slut had never shown up, everything would have been the same. I'd have Eli as my right hand man and not this idiot, Owen. Eli would have his arm around Jenna, or he'd still be doing his sneak attacks of fucking her behind my back, like I never knew.

_I always knew._

Darcy would still be apart of our group, her and Manny, they'd be our older mentors, girls we could trust.

The group would be amazing.

But Clare Edwards ruined everything, _everything._

She managed to snatch her sister Darcy away from us, which lead to Manny being away from us.

She managed to get with Goldsworthy which basically put Drew and Riley on his side and a good majority of the school on her prude side.

I couldn't stand the bitch and when my plan to go out with her had failed, much thanks to her feelings for Eli rapidly growing, I knew we'd need something else.

Something like this.

"Go ahead bro. Say it." Owen murmured as he gestured towards the mike and I nodded, licking my lips in anticipation for this big reveal.

"Well Degrassi, what Clare Edwards was never able to reveal about herself is that well.. The little _slut _is carrying a STD." I growled into the microphone as I heard loud gasps and murmurs outside the office and Owen guffawing behind his hand.

"If any of you are wondering what STD, Miss Clare Edwards is carrying, well she has HIV. You know, the terminal kind that eventually turns into AIDS? Yeah, Miss Clare is dying and that's not the best part ladies and gentlemen." I spoke with clear and crisp words as I eyed Owen and he nodded and winked at me before taking the microphone from my hand."I heard some guys off the football team have slept around with Clare. _That's _how the little whore got the HIV. So the football team needs to get their shit checked, you might have HIV, same goes for the stoners, I saw Clare Edwards talking to some stoners, who knows what she did so they could probably hook her up with some life prolonged drugs." Owen hissed into the microphone.

I quickly took the microphone back from Owen and chuckled."Well Clare Bear. I never succeeded in getting to date you now did I? Glad I didn't, I would have wanted to fuck your pretty little brains out, but now that I know what you have between your legs, I wouldn't even touch you. Poor Eli though. I wonder if he knew." I said in mock sadness as I took a pause. When I noticed that no one was talking outside I grinned.

"Great. I'm glad Elijah knows now too. No more secrets between the two of you. Because your love is so goddamn strong. Your pathetic excuse for a boyfriend stands on a stupid cafeteria table and admits his sad little life, how Daddy beat him and how Mommy left, how his little girlfriend was really a lesbian who was eating some chick out behind his back. How little Miss Clare got Elijah through everything." I said with a smug look as I clicked my tongue.

"Might wanna get yourself checked out there too, Goldsworthy. Maybe if you've slept around with Edwards, you might have what she has. You might die too!" I said in fake fear as Owen only guffawed louder.

"Seriously though. Revenge has never been sweeter. Bye whores and gentledicks." I hissed into the mike as I pressed the off button.

Automatically I fist bumped with Owen - this was great - fucking amazing even!

I couldn't believe we had finally done it.

We got revenge.

Revenge has never smelled any sweeter.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

Oh God.

Oh God.

Oh God.

We're too late.

We're too late.

We're too late.

KC's gonna tell everyone - including Eli.

Eli.

Eli is right there, in front of me, looking dumbfounded as ever as KC said he knew something about me.

Oh God, Eli.

What am I going to do.

I can't speak, I can't breathe, I can't even move right now.

In a split second everyone is gonna know.

In a split second everyone is gonna hate me.

In a split second everyone is gonna think I'm trash.

Moments like these, I wish Margaret had gotten an abortion when she was pregnant with me. None of this would happen. No pain. No heartbreak. No secrets.

Yet here I was, with a million thoughts running through my head as KC's voice came over the loud speaker once more.

This was it.

Everything was gonna be ruined.

I could only somehow hope that the mike got cut off, someone caught KC, something happened that would allow me to tell Eli, not KC.

But that would never happen, not after I heard the words from KC's mouth - crisp and clear over the loud speaker.

"Well Degrassi, what Clare Edwards was never able to reveal about herself is that well.. The little _slut _is carrying a STD." KC growled into the loud speaker.

And just like that - my life was over.

My life was just stolen from my respect I had, it was gone now.

_Everyone knew. _

_Everyone knew.. Everyone including.. Eli._

I shyly looked up to see Eli was staring at the loud speaker with a clenched jaw, then he slowly tore his stare off the loud speaker and turned his glare on me.

His usual happy green orbs that I loved were now full with rage and anger.

But mostly betrayal.

He **hated **me.

"If any of you are wondering what STD, Miss Clare Edwards is carrying, well she has HIV. You know, the terminal kind that eventually turns into AIDS? Yeah, Miss Clare is dying and that's not the best part ladies and gentlemen." KC added with a chuckle.

I could feel the tears sting in my eyes, he just had to say what I had too, just had to say it like it was nothing, but it _was_ something.

I could somewhat feel Jake's hand on my arm, as if he was trying to ask me something, but I couldn't answer. I couldn't find my tongue.

All I could do was stare at Eli as he continued to listen to KC's words as his piercing green eyes were like daggers.

He didn't blink, he didn't move, he didn't say a word.

He was _fuming._

"I heard some guys off the football team have slept around with Clare. _That's _how the little whore got the HIV. So the football team needs to get their shit checked, you might have HIV, same goes for the stoners, I saw Clare Edwards talking to some stoners, who knows what she did so they could probably hook her up with some life prolonged drugs." A deep voice that belonged to no one, but Owen said with a guffaw.

Oh God.. Not any lies, I should have seen this coming, they wouldn't have said I was born with it, they'd make it seem like I had caught it and gave it to people.

_But I'm a virgin!_

That's what I wanted to scream to yell when I could feel people's gazes and hot glares on me.

That's what I wanted to scream to yell when I could hear their vicious murmurs as they started calling me a slut, a whore.

That's what I wanted to scream to yell when I saw how Eli's face had turned colder, but his green eyes started to change to betrayal.

"Well Clare Bear. I never succeeded in getting to date you now did I? Glad I didn't, I would have wanted to fuck your pretty little brains out, but now that I know what you have between your legs, I wouldn't even touch you. Poor Eli though. I wonder if he knew." KC asked with a chuckle and some sobs escaped my chest as I could feel two hands on me, I didn't even know who the other person was, I was still in my stare fest with Eli at the moment.

His demeanor didn't change.

Nothing seemed to change.

Because Eli finally knew at the moment that I had been lying to him the whole time.

I hadn't said a word to him about this and he realized just by my face, my whole demeanor that KC was right.

For once KC Guthrie was right.

"Great. I'm glad Elijah knows now too. No more secrets between the two of you. Because your love is so goddamn strong. Your pathetic excuse for a boyfriend stands on a stupid cafeteria table and admits his sad little life, how Daddy beat him and how Mommy left, how his little girlfriend was really a lesbian who was eating some chick out behind his back. How little Miss Clare got Elijah through everything." KC hissed through the loudspeaker and only more tears escaped my eyes as I felt one of the hands tighten on my arm, I didn't know who it was, I could barely see through my tears.

But Eli's fist were clenched.

His lips in a pursed line.

His jaw set.

I couldn't even imagine what was running through his head.

"Might wanna get yourself checked out there too, Goldsworthy. Maybe if you've slept around with Edwards, you might have what she has. You might die too!" KC exclaimed in fake fear and I could feel some anger course through my veins at KC's words.

He was ruining everything.

"Seriously though. Revenge has never been sweeter. Bye whores and gentledicks." KC concluded with a snicker and soon the loudspeaker went off.

The halls were silent.

No one said a word.

No one uttered a single word.

No one, but Eli.

"Is.. It.. True.." Eli said through his clenched teeth, his hands still in fists by his side as I could still feel the two people by my side holding me aback from Eli. Possibly afraid of what he would do to me when he was in such an angry state.

I sighed and blinked my eyes, feeling more tears fall from my lashes and down my cheeks as I looked into Eli's daggering green eyes.

"Yes.. Only some of it though!" I quickly exclaimed, not wanting him to think I had admitted to sleeping around with guys when I hadn't.

But the damage was already done.

It was evident on Eli's face.

It was especially evident when I saw Eli start to dash towards me, more anger and rage in his pupils and I felt whoever was on my right hold me tight and pull me away from Eli's mad dash towards me, but the person who was on my left, left my side and soon slammed Eli into the lockers.

It was Jake who slammed a raging Eli into the lockers, pining his arms to Eli's side and his face was inches from Eli's when Jake hissed,

"Pull yourself together. You don't go around charging at girls moron."

That's when Eli harshly chuckled, his hands wiggling or trying to wiggle from Jake's grip when Eli sneered.

"What? Did you fuck her too? Is this why you're like this? Protecting her because you fucking, _fucked her_?"

* * *

_Alli's Point of View:_

Drew's nails were digging deeper into my arm as I finally uttered the words to, Drew.

Now he knew.

Now I didn't need to hide it from him anymore.

It was never some random that I slept with when I was with Drew in my freshman year, it was his own brother.

I never meant for it to happen, sure I thought Adam was cute, sure I let the thought ponder through my mind that it wouldn't be too bad to have a make out session with him.

But we were drunk that night.

Absolutely wasted at Bianca's party.

"_Oh my God! I loooooove this song!" I exclaimed with my slurring together slightly as I pounded my drink on the table and looked at Adam's glazed over blue eyes who only chuckled in response._

"_You're so drunk, Alli. This song sucks." Adam said as he drank the rest of his drink, what did he have again? Vodka? Or no.. was it Tequila?_

_Fuck I can't even remember._

_But Goddamn he looks so yummy right now, the buttons on his shirt were undone a bit, revealing his rather large chest, everyone already knew Adam was a trans, but damn, he was still hot. _

_Then the way he would lick his lips after taking a sip from his drink made me bite my lip extra hard to hold back a loud moan._

_What was I doing? Lusting over my boyfriend's brother._

_But I couldn't help it, he was so damn hot._

_I knocked the empty drink from Adam's hands and grabbed his face, pulling his face towards mine as I sloppily kissed him on the lips, taking him aback, Adam didn't respond quickly to the kiss, leaving me a bit disappointed and sad, but soon he did deepen the kiss, his hands finding their way to my back as dug his nails into my hips, sending my body in a frenzy. _

"_Alli.. Alli what about.. Fi and.. And Drew.." Adam groaned against my lips and I sighed, the thought of Drew coming to mind made me feel regret for just kissing his brother._

"_They won't know." I murmured as I pulled away from Adam and snaked my hand into his as I started leading him down the hallway, where Bianca's bedroom would surely be._

_When we finally came face to face with Bianca's room, we softly knocked, no one answered so we bustled into the room and I locked the door only to become confronted with Adam's quick kisses along my neck and back._

"_Dear God.. Alli.." Adam moaned and I spun around so I sloppily kiss him once more as I giggled and hiccupped._

"_This will be worth your while, Torres." I said with a snicker as I led him to Bianca's I sure did make it worth his while._

Drew didn't say a word to me as he let go of the grip on my arm and he shook his head at me and grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"What.. What are doing?" I quietly asked Drew, my bottom lip quivering as Drew sighed, his jaw still set, he was still angry.

"None of your business anymore." Drew murmured lowly as he headed for the door and soon I grabbed his arm."But.. We're in your house. You can't possibly leave, Drew. Please I'm your girlfriend! Lets talk through this!" I begged, I'd be damned if I let him leave without talking.

Drew just merely scoffed.

"Girlfriend? I don't have one anymore. Hope you got a kick out of sleeping with my brother." Drew sneered before quickly leaving his room and I only stood there, frozen and numb.

I couldn't feel anything.

I could only feel the tears in my eyes as they fled down my cheeks.

Like that I managed to lose what meant the most to me.

Like that I managed to ruin everything.

Then again - don't all humans ruin everything?

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I didn't know what I was doing.

I didn't know what I was feeling.

I didn't know what even had occurred not even a solid couple hours ago.

All I knew now was that I was out of the school, in the fresh air, feeling the breeze hit my face nicely as it somewhat allowed all the anger to leave my body.

I found myself laying down on the grass, looking up at the blue sky as I could only feel tears finally sting in my eyes as I remembered what had happened back at school.

"_What?" Jake exclaimed as I felt anger coursing through my veins, I just wanted to slug him, just one fucking punch to his face._

_God I hated him already and I barely knew the little bastard._

"_You heard me! Did you have a nice time fucking her?" I screamed in his face until I felt a cold hard slap across my face and I noticed it was not Jake who had slapped me, in fact it was Jenna."Stop being a fucking asshole!" Jenna screamed and I looked at her in shock. "Jesus Christ, Eli! Don't go attacking people and screaming in their faces! What the fuck!" Jenna exclaimed and I noticed a quivering Clare behind her and that only made me even more angry._

"_She.. She cheated on me!" I shouted as I locked eye contact with Clare and soon Clare was having tears rush down her face hurriedly and even that didn't make me feel bad for her and it usually always did._

"_I.. I didn't cheat on you!" Clare exclaimed. "It was never like that! Let me just explain in private, Eli!" Clare begged, as her bottom lip began shaking and I shook my head, feeling Jake's grip on me tighten._

"_Back away from him, Jenna." Jake warned Jenna lowly and Jenna moved away from Eli and had Clare by her side as she wrapped her arm around Clare's waist in a way I had never seen Jenna so affectionate._

"_Let you explain! KC explained pretty goddamn good, Clare! You have been __**LYING **__to me! Fucking lying! I thought we had a bond! I trusted you with everything, Clare!" I exclaimed as I could feel more emotions go into my veins, the most prominent one being sadness._

_Sadness was now hitting me._

"_I know! I'm sorry! I should have told you I was.. Dying." Clare croaked out and I swallowed, letting her words slash at my heart._

_**Dying.**_

_**Dying.**_

_**Dying.**_

_**Dying.**_

_**Dying.**_

_**She was dying.**_

"_What's the use then!" I shouted and Clare looked at me dumbfounded._

"_Excuse me?" Clare asked, her voice breaking as her blue orbs gathered up more tears._

"_Why would you even tell me then? It wouldn't work out if you would die!" I sneered and Clare whimpered and Jenna tightened her grip on Clare and Jake sighed._

"_Give her a break man-" Jake began and then I wiggled from his grip and I drew my fist back and punched Jake squarely in the face as he toppled backwards, I noticed the blood spurting from his nose as his hands started to wipe the blood away._

_Jenna let go of Clare and soon rushed to Jake's aide._

"_Jake! Shit you're bleeding!" Jenna exclaimed as she started observing Jake's bloody nose._

_I surely broke it and I could only feel good._

_As I shook out my painful fist I looked at Clare and shook my head._

"_You lied to me! You fucking lied about something that was important! All those times you were sick.. You were never sick. You were just.. It was from your damn disease! All those times I was worrying myself to death, not getting any sleep because I was up thinking about you.. It was all nothing. I can't believe you'd do this to me after I trusted you, told you all my secrets, admitted that I was falling for you. Now look at where we are! Your secret is out and I look like a damn fool who has been in love with you the whole time!" I screeched._

_Nothing came from Clare._

_Nothing came from Jake or Jenna._

_Nothing came from anyone._

_I only shook my head and looked at Clare disappointed._

"_I can't do this." I said lowly and Clare's eyes widened._

"_Eli.. Just let me explain.. Please-" Clare began and I shook my head, cutting her off._

"_Your words don't mean shit, Clare. We're over." I said as I took a deep breath and started walking away from her and pathetic sobs._

_Walking away from the schools and their murmurs and whispers._

_Walking away from everyone._

I slowly sat up from my spot on the ground and blinked the tears away as I quickly tried to push Clare from my mind.

But it was impossible.

I couldn't push Clare from my mind.

She was constantly on my mind.

Whether it be the Clare I first met, the timid and shy Clare who just ignored everyone's comments and it be the Clare who I was always fighting with, the one who always knew what to retort back with during a fight.

Whether it be the Clare who I had befriended and slowly fell for, all her giggles, all her laughs, all her smiles always being what kept me going to therapy and trying my best at school.

Whether it be the Clare I loved, the one who's kisses seemed to calm me down, the one who always somehow fit perfectly in my lap and arms, the one who always fell asleep to the sound of my heartbeat as if it kept her going.

Whether it be any of those Clare's, they are always on my mind.

Despite that I had ended things with her - for lying - for cheating.

I'll always love her and that's just what hurts the fucking most.

I looked up at the sky and found myself whimpering as I whispered.

"Why doesn't anything work out for me?"

I half expected to see Adam.. But I saw no one, I was alone.

I sighed and stood up, brushing the dirt off my pants as I slowly started my way home.

If anything could comfort me, it would be Cece.

Because Goddammit I needed my mom right now.

Needed her more than anything.

* * *

**A/N: Before you attack me with "why did you split them up!" Eli has his reasons which he stated, he has reasons, would you stay with your boyfriend/girlfriend if they had lied and from what you heard "cheated"? Eli had reasons. Please review! I'm trying for 500 reviews hah. (:**


	39. No One Is Okay

**A/N: I just wanna thank you all for the enormous amount of reviews I received from my last chapter, I didn't expect that many! Haha. Anyway, I'm still trying for 500 reviews! Oh and please if you wanna discuss matters of the story or need to ask a question, ask it here, lunrustin(dot)tumblr(dot)com. **

**Now onward to chapter thirty nine. (:**

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

I slowly trudged up the porch steps leading to my house, I didn't acknowledge if anyone was even home by looking at who's car was here or not. I had managed to ditch school early, so most likely Cece was home, she did have to run some errands this morning and she had taken Lizzy with her.

I couldn't help, but think if Drew was still here with Alli, but I pushed it from my mind as I realized they must be gone by now, somewhere else to be a nice loving couple. Something I didn't need to see once I arrived home.

As I entered the house, I slammed the door behind myself and shrugged my bag to the ground, staring at it dumbly as I watch it fall over on its side and one of my pencils fell out and I didn't even have the energy to pick it up and place it back in my backpack.

"Mark? Honey did-" Cece began to say as she entered the living room from the kitchen with Lizzy in her arms, but soon her face drained color once she saw it was just me and most likely my appearance set her off. Cece quickly set Lizzy in her playpen just by the stairs as Lizzy began giggling and playing with her noise making toys which entertained her very well.

"Eli.. Baby boy what's wrong? Why are you home from school so early? Not even second period has started." Cece asked with concern lacing her voice as she approached me, but I just didn't say anything, I couldn't find my tongue to tell her anything.

"Are you feeling sick?" Cece murmured as her hands started going to my forehead and cheeks as if she was feeling for some fever that wasn't even there and I shook my head at her words and she dropped her hands.

"Then what is the matter, Elijah? You best tell me now, you better have a solid reason why you are ditching school - especially in your senior year! You need to be at school in your senior year, Elijah." Cece scolded and like that I could already feel the tears sting in my eyes as I looked at Cece hopelessly.

"She lied to me." I whimpered and Cece looked at me in shock and confusion, but I just shook my head and kept my head low as I wrapped my arms around my mother's neck and held her close as I burrowed my face in her shoulder.

Cece didn't say a word as she wrapped her arms lovingly around the small of my back and rubbed gentle circles in my back as she leaned her head on mine.

"Its alright to cry baby boy. You can cry, its just your momma right here." Cece murmured and quickly I stopped holding my tears back and started sobbing into Cece's shoulder as she only held me closer, stroking my hair with one hand and rubbing circles on my back with her other.

Cece held me like that for only God knows how long, I didn't keep track of the time, I was too preoccupied that the fact that my mother was here to show comfort and allow me to cry on her was in my mind that and Clare.

Its always Clare.

Its always gonna be Clare.

Just the thought was too much for me at the moment and I only buried my face in Cece's shoulder even sighed heavily and slowly pulled me away from her shoulder and I could only see the look of sadness cross her face as she took in my face and appearance even more.

"Lets go sit down okay?" Cece asked softly and I nodded as she led me slowly to the couch, making sure I sat down comfortably before taking a seat next to my dead like body.

We didn't say anything for a few moments, all Cece did was run her fingers through my hair over and over as a solid way to comfort me - which it slowly did.

"What happened at school, baby boy? Who lied to you and made you this upset?" Cece asked quietly as she continued to stroke my hair absentmindedly.

"It was.. It was with Clare, mom." I whispered, taking Cece aback by mentioning Clare and calling her mom opposed to Cece.

"What did Clare do? She doesn't seem like the lying type.." Cece murmured as she drifted into her own thoughts and I snorted, pulling her from her reverie.

"Not the lying type? She's been lying to me for a _year _, mom. A whole fu- freaking year." I muttered, remembering Cece's new rule of no cussing when the baby was in the same room and if not for Lizzy's quite loud giggles, I would have broken that rule.

Cece widened her eyes at my response and stopped stroking my hair as she tilted her head.

"What could she have possibly kept from you for a whole year, Eli?" Cece questioned and I sighed and looked at my mother with sad eyes which she mirrored when she saw how distraught I really am by all of this.

"She has an STD, mom." I told Cece in a hushed voice and Cece slightly gasped and quickly asked."You two haven't.." Cece asked, more worry and concern lacing her voice as she possibly thought I could have whatever Clare had and I shook my head.

"She had a vow, at least I thought she had a vow. That ring she always wore as a purity ring. A vow of sorts. She wasn't gonna have sex until she was married and fully in love, but.. She has an STD, mom." I gasped out to Cece in horror as the realization fully hit me. "I just.. All those times I went to her house to take care of her, she was just having a low day from her disease. It makes me feel like fool, mom!" I exclaimed and Cece sighed, placing her hand on my cheek as she smiled sadly.

"Oh Eli, you are _not _a fool baby. You are so much more than that. Just because Clare kept that from you, doesn't necessarily mean she cheated on you." Cece explained and I looked at her oddly.

"Yes she did mom. She's passed it around school too supposedly." I murmured as I looked off at the pictures on our living room wall and Cece only shook her head at me.

"Supposedly? Honey, how did you even find out about Clare's STD? Did she tell you herself and explain herself or did you hear it from someone else?" Cece questioned and I sighed.

"KC said it over the intercom. Everyone knows at school. When I asked Clare if it was true, she was hesitating, she was crying, she was a mess, but she said yes. Everything that KC said was true, mom. She did cheat on me. She does have an STD. Now she's dying!' I choked out, feeling my chest close up on me as I uttered the last words.

_Now she's dying._

_Now she's dying._

_Now she's dying._

_Now she's dying._

Cece's eyes widened at my words.

"Dying?" Cece asked softly. "What kind of STD does she have?"

I sighed and could feel the tears sting in my eyes once more.

"HIV." I whispered, its like I could feel my throat close up on me once more. This felt like such déjà vu to me. First Julia and now Clare. I just could never win could I.

"Baby boy.. You do know most people contact HIV through birth mothers right? Maybe Clare contacted it from her birth mother, not Helen." Cece explained briefly and I shook my head at her words, that wouldn't be the case. If it was, Clare would have told me, but she cheated on me. It was a huge difference that even my own mother couldn't see.

"She would have told me, mom if that was the case. Like I had told her everything, things from how I was living a double life, to how I was covering up for Jenna.. My home problems.." I murmured, my words trailing off as I looked around the house, feeling haunted by the memories of Bullfrog and his rage once more.

Suddenly Cece gathered me in her arms, embracing me tightly as she pressed my head down under her neck as she stroked my hair.

"Don't think about that, baby boy. That's our past okay? Everything is alright now." Cece crooned as she continued to slightly rock me and stroke my hair, but I couldn't find my tongue once more to retort back to her how everything isn't alright. How everything is going horribly wrong.

But all I _could _do was cry even more.

I felt pathetic, here I am seventeen years old and crying in my mother's arms because of stupid shit in my life.

Its just that I never got a good cry out after everything that has happened this past year.

Right now seemed to be the best way to get my emotions out.

Soon though, the front door slammed and I didn't bother getting up from my mother's embrace, for all I knew it was Drew or Mark.

"Oh uh.. I guess I'll leave you two alone." Mark murmured and I shook my head as I pulled away from Cece's embrace and watched as Mark's blue eyes widened at my appearance.

"No.. You guys can talk about whatever you needed to talk about. I'll just be in my room." I murmured as I pulled myself off the couch in a dead like state that made Cece softly whimper, I was heading for the stairs when I saw Lizzy was standing a bit wobbly in her playpen, not on her own, but holding onto the side as she slowly swayed back and forth, she put one of her little fists out towards me as she open and closed her fist, a usual gesture she makes to show people she wants them at the moment.

"Can I take Lizzy up to my room?" I asked softly and Mark nodded.

"Of course, Eli. I need to talk to your mother anyway and it would be difficult with Liz down here." Mark said in his deep voice.

I walked slowly over to Lizzy, until she started to get impatient and started to whimper as she saw I wasn't hurrying up to get her, until I quickened my pace and pulled Lizzy from her playpen as I placed her on my hip and walked away from Mark and Cece, not bothering to look back at them as I bounded the stairs.

"What's wrong with him?" Mark asked in a hush voice and I could hear Cece sigh.

"He's a mess, Mark. I'm so worried." Cece cried out and soon I could hear my own mother's sobs.

Deciding I didn't wanna stand at the top of the stairs anymore and hear my own mother sobbing over my state, I approached my room and softly shut the door behind myself, careful not to scare Lizzy with my usual door slamming.

"Just me and you, Lizzy." I murmured as I situated her on my bed, making sure there was plenty pillows behind her so she wouldn't topple over and fall off, something that pretty much puts me on edge.

I sat beside the curious baby as she looked around at my room, taking in the darkness of it all, looking at the posters as if they were something interesting.

I groaned and fell back against the pillows as I looked up at the ceiling to only see my Deadhand poster which was taped on the ceiling, I had all the wording memorized on it from my constant nights of no sleep and all I did was read the wording on the poster from boredom.

Soon I felt a felt a little pound on my stomach and as I cranked my neck to see what it was, it was Lizzy who was resting her head comfortably on my stomach as she was staring at me with big green eyes, so much curiosity and innocence in her eyes and face.

Lizzy's just a small curious eight month old little girl. She doesn't know much, doesn't have to worry over so much. Her life is simple and fun.

Times like these I wanna be her age, or any simpler age where everything was easier. I never took childhood for granted like I should have.

Now I'm here, close to adulthood with so much crap piled up in my life I could have a damn house.

"Eee Eee!" Lizzy squealed as she tried to say my name, I smirked a bit at her adorableness before I pulled her up to where she was laying on my chest contently. I softly stroked what blond hair she had.

"You're so lucky." I murmured as I continued to stroke her hair as she gently cooed which could only make me smirk even wider.

Despite even being with my baby sister, it couldn't stop the thoughts from running amuck in my head.

Nothing can stop them, sure some can yield them, but never stop them.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

Run.

"_Haha! New school skank!"_

Run.

"_Watch out! She'll give you the clap bro!"_

Run.

"_Ugh! I sit next to her in art class! God knows what she had given me already!"_

Run.

"_Hey Edwards! Does it itch?"_

Run.

"_Clare! Come back!"_

No.

Run.

Must run.

"_Clare! Goddammit! Fucking Guthrie and Milligan are dead for this!"_

Run.

Run.

Run.

Running.

I could feel my chest heave and fall with every tremendous breath I took. I had to get away. Get away from everyone. They were being so mean, so hurtful, so cruel. I couldn't even make it through second period without having everyone chant, _"Clare is a whore! Clare is a whore!" _

I just couldn't, even if Ms. Parkinson tried to calm everyone down, it only made them chant even louder, especially Jess and Sadie who were in my second period class and were whispering and murmuring nasty unpleasant things of me, even drawing pictures of me doing disgusting things - I couldn't with them anymore.

I was still running down the familiar street, breathing heavily, feeling my legs grow tense and sore from the running, but like I had said, I had to get away.

My mind was swelled, it was swollen, it was bleeding.

After Eli's hurtful words, his utterly true and heartbreaking explanation, it felt as if I had been beaten to a pulp by him when he didn't even touch me.

He hates me. I could tell by how his jade green orbs were filled with such betrayal and heartbreak. It made me regret never telling him about me when I had the chance, now he thinks I'm some slut, when I'm not!

**I'm not a slut!**

I wanted to scream that at the top of my lungs. I wanted to scream that at everyone - especially Eli who was convinced I had gotten an STD by cheating on him. That thought itself made my heart be ripped to shreds. Just him thinking that really sets me off, yet makes me sadder than anything.

I finally - much to my relief - made it home and I bounded up the porch steps and swung the front door open quickly, slamming it behind myself as I leaned against the door and began to calm my breathing down.

_I was gone._

_I was away from them._

_They can't say mean things anymore._

_They can't be cruel to me while I'm in the safety of my home._

_They can't do anything to me right now._

But why couldn't my heart just quiet down.

"Clare? Honey, why are you home early? Are you feeling sick?" Helen asked and I hadn't even realized that she had walked into the living room from the study just a couple doors down the hall. I shook my head as I started to feel the tears sting in my eyes once more.

"What happened?" Helen asked softly, her hand on my arm and that only made me tense up and flinch.

"I just - I need some time - I can't be down here - Sorry." I stammered out as I pulled myself away from the door and bounded up the stairs in a hurry. I made it to my room and slammed the door shut, I lingered my hands on the door and kept quiet, listening in for Helen, seeing if she would come upstairs to comfort me, but I heard nothing.

Nothing at all.

I backed away from the door and collapsed on my bedspread, and soon the violent sobs escaped my chest and I started sobbing uncontrollably into my pillowcase. My cries were loud and untamable it seemed.

I just couldn't stop crying.

All those emotions, all those problems I've been dealing with for the past year, they all came forward and weighed themselves on my chest, causing me even more pain.

I blame myself, I blame myself solely for getting into a relationship. I knew damn well that if I got into a relationship someone would end up hurt because of my deathly secret, but how could one person tell the one they.. They love that they are dying? I couldn't do it.

I'll admit, I felt slightly relieved that KC had told Eli in a indirect way, but still I should have told him in private, explain it all, how I have six years to live, how each year will get harder for me, how I can never make love, how I can never have children since I would risk them.

How it would be impossible to fall in love.

But I did fall in love, fell head over heels in love and it tears me apart because I ruined it all.

Ruined the chance I had at having an amazing last six years to live.

I sniffled and looked up from my pillowcase mere minutes later to come face to face with a picture of myself and Eli from the junior prom last year. I remembered how he was nervous asking me to be his date, but once I had agreed, he was ecstatic to take me, saying he had never been to a dance and once again I agreed with him, we both never went a dance before and we went to our first together.

We matched that day as well, both wearing red, which suited him better than it suited me, but he wouldn't dare say I was horrible in red, he would say the opposite.

_Would._

_Would._

_Would._

He would never say I was beautiful again.

Or that I was amazing.

Or that I deserved everything in the world.

He hates me and that's what irks me the absolute most.

I quickly sat up and grabbed the picture, holding it tightly in my hands as tears washed down my face and little specks of water hit the glass covering the picture.

Suddenly, I used all my strength and threw the picture at the wall, hearing its ear splitting crash as the glass broke and cover the ground.

"Clare!" Helen shouted from downstairs and I quickly rushed to the broken glass, trying to pick up all the pieces, but whenever I tried to pick up the pieces it would slice my skin and that only made me freak out even more.

_Because of your.. Disease, you can't touch people when you have open wounds. They could catch the disease from you that way, always remember to have bandaids around you. One of the many downsides to this disease, Miss. Edwards._

I could hear my doctors voice echo in my mind as I thought that and I mentally kicked myself for trying to pick up the pieces in the first place, I already had three cuts across my palm from trying to pick up the pieces.

"Oh God, Clare." Helen gasped from my doorway as she proceeded to rush forward and help me, but I held my bloody palm out.

"You can't help me." I choked out as I realized Helen couldn't help me, she couldn't bandage my bloody palm for me, she knew the consequences.

"I'll get gloves then." Helen murmured as she quickly fled the room and down the hall.

More sobs broke from my chest as I leaned against the wall and could feel my body shake from all this emotion.

I hated it all.

Every little bit of it.

I looked down at the glass covered picture laying on the floor, our smiling faces looking up from the glass and I only closed my eyes tightly as I continued to sob even more.

Soon I heard Helen bustle into my room, I opened my eyes to see she did have latex gloves on and the first aid kit with her as she placed her hand out to take mine, I willingly gave her my bloody hand as she began to clean it a bit, the stings didn't nearly hurt as badly as what I was feel mentally, but hurt nonetheless.

Helen didn't ask any questions to why I smashed the picture containing me and Eli, she didn't ask why my palms were bloody, she didn't ask why I was complete mess on my bedroom floor, she just continued to cleanse my bloody hand.

Helen finally wrapped a bandage around my hand and looked at me sadly before sighing.

"I'll clean this up. Just.. Go to sleep. Get some rest and sleep off this anger right now. When you wake up and are feeling better, we'll talk okay?" Helen murmured and I nodded at her words as I stood up on shaky legs and made my way to my bed as I heard Helen picking up the pieces of broken glass.

As I was finally buried deep into my sheets and blankets, I could hear Helen placing the broken pieces of glass into the trash can, but before she left I heard her pick up what sounded like a thick piece of paper.

"He knows now." Helen whispered.

That moment I knew she holding the picture.

That moment I knew Helen knew me better than anyone else did just by my mere actions.

Once my room door shut, I sat up in my bed and looked at where the mess was at, it was like there was never a mess there.

The picture wasn't even there anymore either.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

It's cold.

Unbearably cold.

Where was I?I wasn't in Toronto.

I had taken a bus away from there.

Away from everyone.

How many busses did I take?How much money did I steal from Cece's purse for rides to different places.

My phone.

My phone was vibrating.

Not gonna answer it.

Not gonna answer it, when I know its that whore calling me.

I only needed one thing and I itched for it.

I yearned for it.

I fucking needed it or I would die.

I needed heroin.

I needed the injection.

I needed to feel the needle puncture my arm.

I needed to feel the poison glide through my veins.

I needed it.

And I was gonna get it.

I will do anything for it.

Anything.

* * *

**A/N: Drew's POV is very different than before, and that's because Drew is going to be drifting back into who he use to be, but in a worse state, so he won't be having a lot of detailed thoughts, just what he wants and needs. Don't think that because Drew doesn't have detailed thoughts doesn't mean he doesn't have no big storyline, because he does and it ends with a bang to say at the least. ;). Anyway! Please review! So close to 500! (: **


	40. Depression Seems To Take Over

**A/N: I finally made it to 500 reviews! This is just amazing! Thank you all! (: The story is almost over sadly, I have a good 2 or 3 chapters left, including the epilogue as well. This chapter is a bit of a filler, but hey, I needed to add this in.**

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

A month.

A single month has passed since the horrifying day at Degrassi.

A single month since I have seen _him._

A single month since I have been with _him. _

And all this time away from him was tearing me apart inside. I longed for his soft, gentle touch on my skin. I longed for the way his lips moved against mine, creating a frenzy we both moaned and loved for. I missed the way he would cradle me perfectly in his arms while I would lean myself against his lanky like frame.

_I just missed him._

Not only did I miss him, but I missed Alli as well. Alli doesn't speak much to me after the incident and at first I believed she didn't talk to me was because she was afraid of being teased and ridiculed for it, but turns out her and Drew had broken up same day me and Eli had - small world - and now Drew is missing.

Alli is distraught and down right angry that the police won't do anything for him since he's just a runaway, but they will still look around for him in the province area.

Although I highly doubt they will find him, with Drew's history of drugs and constant running off, I have a feeling he's dead - or he'll be dead soon.

As I stared dully into the TV screen watching some reality show I had flipped the channel too, I could hear a faint knock on my bedroom door, I didn't say a word, but the person came inside anyway.

"Hey, sis." Darcy murmured as she entered my room and took in it appearance. It wasn't at its tidiest and I had managed to tear every memory of myself and Eli from my room. From his presents to me, like the snow globe he returned to me, to the notes we use to pass to each other in English class last year had been thrown out, pictures of us together from numerous dates or just pictures Eli wanted to take for the sake of taking pictures.

Eli loved taking snapshots of little moments, explaining how those little moments could be snatched from your palms in seconds, so best take the snapshots now than later.

That couldn't be even more relevant than it is now.

The pounding in my head hadn't gone away either, I couldn't shake the awful feeling I had been feeling for the past couple days, I couldn't decide if this was my disease getting the best of me or I was genuinely coming down with some cold or flu.

I just couldn't shake this horrible feeling that was lingering in almost every part of my body, my head, my bones, my skin.

I hated it all and already I had been given my medication and not even _that _has helped already.

"Clare?" Darcy asked a bit more concerned as she inched forward towards me, her brown eyes showing tons of concern and pity.

"Yeah?" I croaked out, feeling the heaviness and soreness in my throat.

_This was not normal._

_I never feel like this._

_I felt like I was slowly dying._

Well, I am slowly dying.. But this was different.

"How are you holding up?" Darcy asked quietly as she sat down on the edge of my bed, pushing some pillows back as I leaned into my bed frame, feeling my back ache in pain at the simple gesture.

"I'm making it." I whispered as I sighed and hugged a pillow to my chest, it felt as if my heart was gonna explode, either that or my ribcage was giving me serious aching and soreness right now.

I did not feel good at all. I felt clamminess start to creep into my skin as well and my head grow heavier and heavier by the second.

"Well you know.. Just checking up on you. You don't look so good right now.. So I'm just checking up on you." Darcy murmured, her soothing voice touching her brown eyes, making me immediately believe my older sister and I nodded at her words.

We were silent, all except for my heavy breathing and the light buzz coming from the television.

Darcy reached her palm out and lightly touched my forehead and cheeks and she sighed heavily.

"You're warmer than you were before." Darcy said with even more worry lacing her voice, she rose to her feet and started inching for the door.

"Maybe I should go and call Helen right now.." Darcy said nervously, but I quickly latched onto her wrist with what strength I had left and shook my head weakly.

"Please.. Darcy.. Please don't. Then Helen will freak out and send me to the hospital. I just.. Let me stay here and sleep alright?" I questioned Darcy and she sighed, but nodded nonetheless.

"Alright." Darcy said tiredly and I flashed her a weak smile.

"Thanks, Darce." I murmured and Darcy nodded with a small smile of her own.

As Darcy reached over to grab another pillow - which I presumed she was gonna place behind my back, I noticed her slightly bruised hand.

Why hadn't I seen that before? Oh that's right, I spend all my time in my bedroom, moping and crying and only feeling even worse in my bones.

"What happened to your hand?" I softly asked Darcy and Darcy quickly looked down at her purplish hand before murmuring,

"I punched, Eli." Darcy murmured.

Its like the wind was knocked out of me by my own sister's words.

_Punched Eli?_

I knew for certain that Darcy wasn't very happy with Eli after our breakup, in fact she had a long talk with me she had said, she had explained to him that breaking up with me right now was horrible and unhealthy for my health, that it could set me back and even make me die even faster.

I was shocked Darcy had even uttered those words to Eli, especially words like "die". I thought Darcy would know better, but she didn't. She told me she had said the words plain and bland, saying she needed to get her point across to Eli, but she didn't mention to him how I was born with my.. Disease. Darcy had said how if he didn't believe me, he sure as hell wouldn't believe her.

And Darcy was right, he wouldn't believe her at all.

Turns out, Eli didn't even respond to Darcy's words, she described him as being dead and has been zoning out more than he should. That even he won't talk to people unless necessary.

I couldn't help, but feel bad for him, despite what he had done to me - I felt so horribly bad for him.

"What? Why?" I exclaimed, feeling the fiery burn rush down my throat as I did so. "Don't shout." Darcy warned me lowly as she passed me the tea she had set on my end table earlier when I had been coughing erratically.

I gently took a sip of the somewhat cold tea and enjoyed the feeling of the soothing feeling rush down my throat and wash the burn away.

"Why did you punch him?" I whispered as I set the tea back down on the end table by me and Darcy sighed as she began playing with a loose string on her blue jeans.

"I just.. I saw him talking so freely with Sadie Rowland and it looked as if he was enjoying the conversation, she was being so openly flirty with him too. She was touching his arm and as they got more comfortable with the conversation she started touching his shoulders and whatnot. It was really pissing me off, so I approached him and without saying a word - punched him." Darcy concluded with slight satisfaction in her tone.

But I was not satisfied.

I could feel not only anger pulsate through my veins, but I could feel my heart snap into even more pieces by Darcy's words about Eli.

Sadie Rowland? Beautiful and tall Sadie Rowland?

Sadly.. I could understand why he would talk to her, she got along with people fine, she had a shining personality, could be funny when she wants too, she has a long mane of black hair which I could only imagine Eli running his fingers through.

Endless amounts of hair to run his fingers through.

He would love that so much.

Not only that, but Sadie was so tall, so amazing at sports. She had a lean figure that guys loved.

I was here in my 5'2 shortness and clumsiness at sports, couldn't even hit a ball without finding some way to trip and have my face meet dirt.

Not only that, but I had my short, curly reddish brown hair, nothing compared to her long black mane of hair.

I was the complete opposite of her.

Of course he would be into Sadie.

Of course he would. It could happen and they could be happy, no problems at all.

"Clare? Snap out of it." Darcy ordered in a commanding tone and immediately I snapped from my reverie and looked at Darcy with scared blue orbs.

"Oh God, Darcy.. What if he falls for her. Oh my God.." I started sputtering out nonsense from my lips. I could barely make out what I was even saying, all I knew though, it was all about Eli and Sadie. Sadie and Eli. Together.

"Clare!" Darcy exclaimed and I could feel her shake me harshly, her nails digging into my skin and I looked at her in shock as she looked at me with.. Pitiful eyes.

Couldn't blame her.

"Whatever happens.. It happens, Clare? Just lay down and get some rest, you look awful right now. You just need some sleep." Darcy murmured as she pressed me gently down against my pillows and brought the covers up to my chin as she looked at me with loving yet sad brown orbs.

"I love you, Clare." Darcy whispered in her sisterly tone and I sighed.

"I love you too, Darce." I replied as Darcy swiftly kissed my forehead and frowned a bit at most likely my temperature before leaving my bedroom.

Last thought that floated into my mind was a image of Eli and Sadie - talking together - flirting together - _kissing each other._

Soon a dream I was beginning to have turned into a nightmare.

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

"Eli? Eli!"

I groaned at the highly annoying voice barking at me.

Why is she even talking to me? Since when did she take interest in me? For all I knew, she hated me.

"What?" I said tiredly as I looked at Sadie from the side of my laptop I had dragged with me to The Dot. I had some research to do and I wasn't gonna abandon it at home while Sadie wanted to come here and drag me along with her, saying it was important for us to know each other even better than we already do.

"Stop looking into your laptop! I called you here so we could hang out! Not for you to be engrossed in your stupid little research." Sadie sneered as she looked at my laptop in disgust. It was covered in metal band stickers - something Sadie didn't approve of since she is a "country" music girl from what she has told me.

According to Sadie, Taylor Swift is the queen of all music, I would have argued with Sadie over how Taylor Swift's music wasn't all that great, but it would only bring back memories of my arguments with.. Clare and how Clare who was a huge Taylor fan would have an endless debate about Taylor and her music. Only difference is, I loved when Clare would stand up for something she loved, even if it was a singer who's songs revolved around Jonas Brothers' and fairytales. Clare loved it - so I respected it.

"I'm researching, Sadie. I already told you." I reminded her for the hundredth time as Sadie rolled her eyes and snatched her bag off the ground.

"I see Jess outside, I'll talk to her while you research your stupid little topic." Sadie scowled as she quickly left me at the table alone and once I heard the bells jingle, I sighed relieved.

Sadie had been pestering me and bothering me since the day I had.. Ended things with Clare. She hadn't been able to keep her paws off me. Which was just becoming way too annoying and frustrating with me.

I guess her and that Jake guy had a thing going on for a while and wanted to be with me after they broke up, saying she's always been into deep guys.

Problem was.. I didn't wanna be with her, reason why I'm not with her.

Instead, I'm here at The Dot, researching.. HIV.

Crazy to think that even after this whole month after our catastrophe of a relationship, I'd find some closure, I'd find some way to get over her.

But I just couldn't.

I found myself up late at night, researching the shit out of HIV or just awake, wondering if she's okay.

Then I'd be struck with horrifying thoughts of if she's dying _right now. _

I can't help, but worry over her.

I know I shouldn't. I know its bad to worry over her, especially after Darcy's little confrontation with me, yeah a straight up conversation about Clare dying soon and her fist colliding with my face _really _made me feel loved by her.

But in reality it only made me feel even worse. Especially hearing the words "Clare" and "dying" used in the same sentence made me wanna curl up in a ball and get away from Darcy and her hurtful words.

As I scrolled through more and more pages concerning HIV, I came across a Yahoo! Questions site and the question was,

**Is HIV only caught through sex?**

I bit the inside of my mouth as I stared at the question. Would it have an answer? Would the answer be what I dread to see?

I sighed and clicked on the link which brought me to the green Yahoo's questions page and the question was still in large black bold, I scrolled down to see the answers and the most popular answer caught my eye.

**Most people believe that HIV is caught through sex, but a good majority of the time it is caught from birth mothers giving it to their children. Its common that people and significant others who find out of their partners/friend's illness to jump to the conclusion that they caught it though sex. When in reality, they need to speak with that person and learn it straight from the source.**

My heart leapt at the answer and my stomach flipped as well. I noticed it had 50 thumbs up and no thumbs down at all, making me question this even more. But then again this is an online source, nothing can ever be true on the internet.

But I decided to dig just a little deeper by seeing the other answers.

**I regret the day I ever bitched at my girl for having HIV. Turns out she barely had any time left before dying and when she told me face to face, I dumped her, I accused her for cheating on me - when she never did. She was born with it and what got to me was I never gave her any time to explain, I kicked her out and called it quits. When I learned from her friends about the real deal from her, I immediately wanted to see her, to apologize, but.. It was too late. She was in the hospital and they had already flipped the switch. She never made it. So what I am saying is that if a dude finds out his girl has got this.. HIV, then talk to her about it, because most likely she was born with it. **

I could feel tears sting in my eyes as I read the anonymous answer. I wanted to believe wholeheartedly that was what was wrong with Clare, that was why she had this disease, she was born with it, but I couldn't bring myself to believe that.

The way her face looked when I asked her if it was true - her face gave me all the answers I needed.

But I couldn't help, but wonder if Clare was born with it, she was adopted after all, but then surely Darcy would have had it as well, it just didn't add up to me.

Sighing heavily I slammed my laptop closed and stuffed it in my bag angrily.

Angry that I had been so betrayed and used.

Angry that I had been lied too for a fucking month.

Angry because I still had feelings for her that were surely going to be there forever.

* * *

_Darcy's Point of View:_

"Yeah Helen, I know, I know. Give her, her tablets every five hours. Yes, I know to give her tea when she needs it. Yes, Helen - God I am really starting to think you don't realize I know what Clare needs." I muttered annoyingly into the phone receiver as I was on a call with Helen.

Helen sighed heavily.

"I'm just making sure, Darcy. This is the first time I have been away and Clare falls ill, so I'm just making sure you can take good care of her before I return home tomorrow afternoon from visiting Irene." Helen murmured and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

I understood Helen had to leave to see Aunt Irene, she was going through a divorce with her husband and needed her sister there, yet I couldn't help, but feel bitter at the fact I was left alone with Clare. I felt like I was gonna fuck her up some how.

"I know, Helen. Don't worry, Clare will be safe with me. I'll see you tomorrow when you come home from Ottawa okay?" I asked Helen through the phone.

"Yes, Darcy. Tell Clare I wish she feels better alright?" Helen asked and I nodded."Yeah, I'll tell her. Bye, Helen." I murmured into the receiver as I hung up the main phone to the house on the wall.

I then leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, I couldn't help, but think of my poor weak baby sister upstairs curled up on her bed as she tries her hardest to fight this disease.

I hated it. I hated whoever created HIV. I most likely hated Margaret for being the whore she was - yes I just called my own birth mother a whore, because she's the reason my baby sister will never grow up to see my own kids, unless I decide to have some early, but with who? Declan? He's always been an option..

But anyway, I just can't stomach this anymore, with what is happening with Clare, with Eli most importantly and him being too cutesy with Sadie is really starting to piss me off even more, I might slug him around a couple times more. Knock some sense into his head.

But I couldn't help, but think of his face, his demeanor when I told him about Clare - about how his way of breaking up with her is setting everything back.

"_I just can't believe you, Eli." I snarled as I approached Eli who was leaning against a pole outside Degrassi. I looked at him as if he was the sorriest excuse for a human being, which in my eyes he was. He had broken up with my sick and ill sister yesterday and I already told him I would kill him if he ever broke her heart, which he so obviously did when I came home yesterday to Helen who was trying to explain everything, but was obviously upset on her own after receiving a call from the school explaining how KC and Owen had told the whole school of Clare's disease, she had informed me that they were suspended, but that it wasn't gonna change Clare's newfound reputation._

"_Came all this way just to bitch at me, Darce? Sorry, but Alli had you beat. Came at me while I was walking to third period, she kicks pretty hard for a small tiny person." Eli said nonchalantly while looking around at his surroundings, it was obvious he was putting up a wall, something that was blocking me to his emotions. _

"_Stop with the asshole attitude, Eli. We're past that remember?" I reminded Eli and he rolled his eyes at me - such a asshole Eli thing to do. _

"_Yeah, you are, but I'm not so sure I am anymore." Eli said as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and I looked at him crazily._

"_Are you going back to those low lives clique?" I seethed and Eli scoffed at my words._

"_Hell no. I'm just saying I'm not gonna be the guy I have been for the past half year." Eli said once more with more asshole-ness in his tone. Oh now I wanted to punch him now._

"_Clare shaped you into that man, Eli. She did all of that, don't throw it away." I sneered and Eli chuckled. _

"_Throw it all way? Me throwing it away? I'm pretty sure, Clare already did that right?" Eli breathed out, I noticed the small second he had vulnerability in his green orbs when saying Clare's name, he was scared, frightened, and most definitely hurt, but he soon returned back to his cool demeanor and acted as if everything was cool._

_Everything was NOT cool._

"_You listen to me now, Elijah Goldsworthy. You broke my baby sisters heart, smashed it on the ground and stomped on it. You have been her only boyfriend and she loved you so goddamn much and you just DUMP her? Just like that no explanation, no nada! Makes no sense! I understand what KC and Owen said seemed.. Right to you, but it isn't, alright? What you did by breaking up with Clare is gonna be a huge set back in her health, for all we know, all this extra stress could cause her to die quicker!" I exclaimed in Eli's face. Immediately I felt regret roll in my stomach by my words, I should have chose them more carefully. _

_But just as I was gonna apologize, I saw the damage was already done on Eli's face. The wall he had up earlier had crumbled down and I could see his emotions clear as day._

_He had fear and a horrible amount of concern in his jade green orbs, his hands were started to shake as he pushed them back in his pockets, his frame was beginning to shake - I just tore down what he had built up to hide his emotions and I couldn't blame him for hiding these kinds of emotions._

"_Eli, I'm.. I didn't mean for it like that." I stammered and apologized to Eli, but he merely shook his head. Without a word, he left me by the now abandoned pole and continued down the street where Morty was awaiting him. His stance so dead and zombie like, he was simply too tired to build another wall and place it up._

I sighed as I snapped out of my flashback. The only other time I had spoken to Eli was really not speaking unless you consider speaking between fists and faces.

I would have slapped Sadie as well, but I realized how much younger she was than myself and I could get in a huge amount of trouble for beating on a minor like Sadie.

I leaned off the wall and started climbing the stairs, I'd check on Clare once more before trying to read another college recommended book from the selection Professor Farris had given us.

I softly knocked on Clare's bedroom door, when I heard no answer I assumed she was still sleeping, but I would check on her nonetheless.

I pushed open Clare's bedroom door to see Clare was sitting upright on the edge of her bed, as it seemed she was struggling to stand up. I could only feel fear wash through me as Clare was struggling to stand up, she never struggled, especially when she is sick, she can move around fine.

_What is wrong with her?_

The thought was washing through my mind as I approached Clare to help her off the bed and to wherever she needed to go.

"You okay, Clare?" I murmured as I continued to approach Clare.

Clare looked up at me with weak and dead blue orbs, she finally was able to stand on her own, but I noticed how wobbly her legs were getting and soon her eyes rolled in the back of her head as she collapsed on the floor, face first.

"Fuck, Clare!" I shouted as I reached out to Clare and rolled her over on her back as I tried to shake her awake, but she wouldn't wake up at all, she wouldn't move an inch.

I reached my head down and pressed it against her chest as I listened to her heartbeat, it was faint and sounded as if it was close to giving out.

"Oh God, Clare." I said despairingly as I pulled my phone from my pocket and began dialing 911.

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

Those words kept repeating in my head as the other person on the line picked up.

"911, what's your emergency?" The woman on the other line asked with a lace of concern in her voice.

"Its my sister! She collapsed and she isn't breathing and - Goddammit, just bring a fucking ambulance here!" I screeched into the receiver as I placed Clare's head in my lap and brushed her curls back from her scorching hot forehead. Her fever seemed like it was higher than it was before.

_Fuck._

"Ma'am, calm down. Your sister will be fine, just please tell me your address and we'll have an ambulance dispatch and arrive shortly." The woman said calmly on the other line.

I scowled at her calmness, if her baby sister wasn't breathing she'd freak out too, the old hag.

"6538 Wisher Avenue. Just please have them fucking hurry, my sister has a really bad illness and right now it's getting the best of her." I said as I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks as I looked down at Clare's non responsive body.

"Don't worry, ma'am. Help is on the way. Just stay on the line with me until the ambulance gets there." The woman said with a pitiful voice. I sighed and nodded as I clutched at Clare's hand with my free hand.

I know I don't normally believe in God, especially after all the shit I had been through, I didn't know whether to believe there is one out there, but I desperately needed to speak to him right now.

Maybe he could help, Clare.

Just prolong her life a bit, because I know damn good well I am not ready to lose her right now.

* * *

_Drew's Point of View:_

I felt like I was floating.

Like all my troubles were washed away by the simple injection.

Oh.. All this poison in my veins.

I love it - I need more though.

Vince needs to give me more, I just need more.

More.

More.

More.

I leapt from my spot of sitting in the alley when I saw him approaching me, carrying something rather large and bulky in his hand.

"Torres!" Vince screeched as he saw me and if I wasn't completely out of it, I would run and get away, but I just couldn't at the moment. Like I said, I was floating.

"Yeah.." I said in a daze and one of Vince's Neanderthals scoffed.

"He's high off the shot man." The man said and Vince shook his head.

"Then this should be simple then. Very fucking simple. Get on the ground, Torres." Vince barked and slowly I made my way on the ground, face first in the dirt, my arms by my side as I could hear them walking around me.

Were they gonna jump me? Was it for never paying Vince back for the drugs? Was that it? Because I had ran out of money?

"See what happens when you don't pay people back, Torres? They get their brains shot out." Vince growled and I couldn't feel any fear in my body.

I wasn't scared.

"Nothing.. I am nothing. I was never nothing. Just a.. just a fuck up. Kill me.. Do it. Won't make a difference to everyone. I'm just Drew.. Just Drew." I mumbled into the gravel and Vince chortled in laughter and I could hear a click and soon I could feel something nuzzle into the back of my head.

This was it.

This was death at its finest.

Being killed for never paying drugs.

The last thought in my mind before I heard a huge bang was Alli.

* * *

**A/N: I know what you are thinking - "How can you kill Drew!" well I never said Drew was killed, it seems like that, yes, but he could be dead or alive. You never find out. Yes, that is one of the two cliffhangers I have in this story. Don't message me and ask if he died either, because I will never tell. Drew could be dead or alive. Also please review!**


	41. Save Me

**A/N: I'm surprised that none of you guys are concerned for Clare haha. I was sure I'd get a ton of reviews asking if she's okay or she better be okay, because hey, she might die. Haha, anyway, next chapter is the last chapter, then the epilogue. So two more chapters until this is finally finished!**

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

_Ring!_

Ugh. Could someone shut that off?

_Ring!_

Seriously. Whoever has their phone on maximum high better answer that shit.

_Ring!_

Okay asshole, I have a fucking headache, answer that shit!

_Ring!_

_Ring!_

_Ring!_

"Eli? Dude answer your phone." A familiar voice said and I quickly raised my head from the table. I was still at The Dot. I must have dozed off, how long had I been here. I looked to my left to see it was Jake who had said it to me.

I swallowed when I noticed the cast on his nose, so I had broken his nose. Well shit. Now was the time to feel bad and notice his broken cast on his nose. I also quickly took notice of the red head sitting across from him, her flaming red hair pulling back into a braid down her back as she nervously held her cup of coffee. It looked as if her and Jake were on some sort of date.

"My phone..?" I asked Jake confused and Jake nodded slowly as he gestured towards my phone which was laying on the table across from me, I could feel embarrassment cruise through my veins and into my cheekbones.

"Oh.. Yeah." I said slowly, Jake just looked at me - a bit concerned, before shaking his head and turning his attention back to the red head as she smiled brightly as he made some joke about people up north, a joke I didn't care for.

I quickly reached for my phone, but it stopped ringing, I noticed in big bold letters it said,

**One missed called from Darcy Edwards.**

I furrowed my brows at the bolded letters. Darcy? Why would Darcy even call me? From what I know and experienced, Darcy pretty much hates me and even showed me by colliding her fist with my face, which still has a small bruise from her punch.

Could she be calling because she needs to give me something back? Something that belonged to Clare - something I gave to Clare, and Darcy is returning it? No.. Darcy wouldn't do that, she'd throw it out if I gave it to Clare.

Did she forgot to add something in her tirade to me the other day? Did she wanna give me her piece of mind again? Highly doubt that.. I'm pretty sure Darcy never wants to see me again. So why in the hell would she even call me? My mind could only come to one, crazy, whacked out solution.

Clare.

My stomach flipped as my phone began ringing again and the caller ID said,

**Darcy Edwards is calling.**

Without any hesitation, I answered on the first ring and immediately brought the phone up to my ear as I leaned my elbows on the table."Darcy?" I asked in a hushed voice, my brows furrowed as I could only think of my only solution rushing through my brain.

_Please don't make this call be about Clare._

_Please don't make this call be about Clare._

_Please don't make this call be about Clare._

"Eli? You finally answered." Darcy said in a choked voice.

Something happened, something always happened.

"Yeah.. What's wrong?" I asked warily as I began to search the room to fight off my nerves which were going crazy right now.

Darcy could only be calling me about Clare. I just.. I knew it. I didn't wanna believe it, but why else would she ring me randomly.

"Its Clare." Darcy whispered before breaking out into sobs and automatically my heart stopped.

It seemed like everything had stopped.

Immediately I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder as I was beginning to leave The Dot.

"Eli?" Jake asked worriedly from behind me, his date murmured something, but I couldn't make it out, I didn't have time to worry over Jake and his girlfriend. Clare was wrapped up in my mind, like she always is.

"What the hell happened to her, Darcy?" I asked as my voice started to raise octaves as I pushed the door to The Dot opened and felt relieved as I felt the cool air rush on my skin.

"She-She collapsed when I went to go check up on her and her eyes rolled.. They ro-rolled back into her head and she couldn't breathe, Eli. Oh my God. She's been.. She's been so sick for the past couple days, but oh God, Eli. I'm so scared and I had to call you - I know.. I-I know you hate both myself and Clare, but when I was scrolling through contacts, I my fingers called your number by mistake and.. And Eli I'm so scared." Darcy explained.

I gulped as I could only feel fear cruise through my veins at Darcy's words. Everything she said - it only made me worry and scared even more. Her words shook me to the very core. I felt like the wind was being kicked out of me.

_Collapsed._

_Eyes rolled back into her head._

_Not breathing._

_Not fucking breathing._

"Is she dead?" I gasped out as I could feel my chest get heavier and heaver with every breath I tried to take in - shit I did not need to have a panic attack right here, right now.

"No! No, she isn't dead. I'm at the hospital though, the doctors are running some tests on her right now. She's alive, but God I'm scared." Darcy breathed off as I could hear her stifling sobs.

I clutched at my chest as I could only feel it grow heavier and my breathing was becoming shortened.

"I'll be there okay? I'm gonna be there, Darce." I said quickly as I hung up the phone and continued to breathe heavily.

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

Breathe in and out. Breathe in and out. Breathe in and out.

It wasn't working, fuck it never worked.

I needed to get my breathing under controlled if I was gonna race to the hospital, but hell I am in no condition to drive right now, I'd get into some accident and I'm not too fond with car accidents.

"Eli! C'mon lets go get some pizza with Jess!" Sadie barked and I noticed as she approached me with an afraid and cautious Jess behind her.

"Sadie.. He doesn't look so good right now. We can just go together right now." Jess murmured to Sadie, but Sadie quickly elbowed Jess to shut her up.

"No! He's coming with us! Come on, Eli!" Sadie crowed as she reached out to grab my hand, but I quickly smacked her hand away and she looked at me in utter shock and confusion.

"What the hell?" Sadie asked as she looked down at her small red hand, I just shook my head at her.

"Just.. Just go with Jess, okay, Sadie? I can't hang out right now." I said heavily as I continued to try to focus on my ragged breathing.

"You're so weird." Sadie scowled as she headed down the street with a frightened Jess behind her as they soon disappeared out of mere sight.

I continued trying to calm my breathing, but I couldn't. I needed to see Clare. I needed to see her alive and breathing and alright, but I couldn't get to her and I needed to get to her, but I couldn't.

**FUCK.**

That word was running through my mind over and over. Fuck, I can't get to Clare. Fuck, I can't breathe on my own. Fuck, she's gonna die.

This is just like Julia all over again.

"There he is." A high voice said from a distance, I didn't pay much attention to the voice until I heard rushing footsteps towards me.

"Woah, Eli. Bro, are you okay?" Jake asked and I looked up to see he was looking at me with concern as his girlfriend was clutching at his side as she looked at me sympathetically with her head tilted at a angle as she looked over my stance.

"I think he's having a panic attack, Jake." Jake's girlfriend murmured as she sighed softly.

"Well shit. Calm him down, Hannah. You're good with that.. Calming stuff." Jake muttered as he searched for the right words.

What happened during the next five to ten minutes was a bit of a blur to me. I remember Jake's girlfriend - Hannah was her name as she guided me to what I presumed to be Jake's red truck and directed me inside the back as Jake took a seat in the front, as he looked forward and didn't interfere with myself and Hannah, although I remember him sneaking some frightened glances through the mirror a couple times though.

All that was a blur really was Hannah being able to calm me down, I remember her soothing some comforting things in my ears, mentioning Clare's name a couple times which made me flinch the tiniest bit, but the way Hannah was able to calm my emotions down and just murmur sweet things in my ear, it managed to make my heart return to its regular pace and I could actually _breathe _and my chest didn't feel heavy anymore.

Jake was right, Hannah was good with calming people down with panic attacks. I wonder if she had ever calmed him down from a panic attack.. Then again that wasn't my place to wonder, after all, I barely knew these two - especially Hannah who just saved me from one of the worst panic attacks I had ever experienced.

"You alright now?" Hannah murmured from her seat beside me and I nodded at her words as I took a deep breath of air, happy I didn't choke on it.

"Why were you have a panic attack?" Jake asked as he turned around in his seat and looked at me with concern.

Then the news of Clare hit me like a ton of bricks all over again - I could feel the anxiety creep into my chest again.

"Its.. Its Clare." I breathed out as I looked at Jake with wide eyes. Jake's face drained color as he looked at Hannah who nodded and immediately put her seatbelt on as Jake turned his truck on.

"Woah - where are you guys going? I need to get out so I can go see Clare!" I exclaimed as I was slammed back into my seat as Jake took off in his truck pretty damn fast.

"You don't need to go into details, Eli, but we were all there when we found out about Clare. The only way you would be in a hurry to see her is if she's hurt right now. Don't worry, Eli. I know where the local hospital is, so we'll get you there." Jake comforted me as he continued speeding down the highway. I took a glance at Hannah who was sitting contently in her seat as she bit her lip nervously. I looked back at Jake baffled.

"I _punched _you and broke your nose and you reward me by taking me to see Clare? What the actual fuck, man?" I asked in clear confusement as Hannah stirred uncomfortably at my words.

"Don't curse around, Hannah, Eli. She doesn't like profanity." Jake said immediately as he took in Hannah's uncomfortable demeanor and gave her a small smile, a smile which she returned.

I muttered a quick apology to Hannah before returning my attention back to Jake who still had some explaining to do.

"I was never angry with you for punching me, Eli. Sure I was annoyed that you broke my nose and now I have to breathe through my mouth for the next couple weeks, but anyway. Despite that you did wrong and break up with Clare when you should have been there for her, I can tell you still lov-care about her." Jake explained as he toppled over his words often. "So I'll drop you off. Consider us.. Alright with each other." Jake murmured as he continued to drive even faster down the highway.

I didn't respond to Jake, but I'm pretty sure he understands what I mean by not responding. We're on good terms and this was one less thing I needed to fix.

The rest of the car ride was silent, but fast as Jake drove like a speed demon to the hospital, he earned some profanities and some birds from some pissed off drivers, which Jake gladly returned much to my didn't seem like a half bad guy.

But soon my mind was focused back on Clare as Jake pulled up at the local hospital and I was ready to leap from the car when I felt Hannah's hand on my arm, which made me tense up since I wasn't so use to her touch.

"I'll pray for her." Hannah murmured as he gave me a genuine smile, I returned the smile and nodded at Jake who gave me a smirk in return.

"Hope she's okay, man." Jake said sincerely and I sighed, nodding at his words as I leaped from his red truck and started up the path that led to the front doors, I looked back to see Hannah had climbed to the front seat with Jake and he had his arm around her as they drove off.

I sighed heavily at the couple before barging into the emergency room waiting room where I automatically searched for Darcy's face somewhere in the slightly crowded waiting room.

"Eli!" Darcy shouted as a sad grin spread across her face as she approached my disheveled stance. She was about to throw her arms around my neck and pull me into a hug like she always did, but realization came across her and she let her arms fall to her sides like a rag dolls' as she looked at me sadly.

"How is she?" I asked at once, I wasn't here to be in a awkward stance with Darcy, I was here to get news on Clare.

That was all that I cared about.

Clare.

It'll always be _Clare._

* * *

_KC's Point of View:_

"So.. Why did you gather all of us in your shitty apartment?" Dave asked as everyone from our group sat in my - as Dave called it, shitty apartment.

I took a swig from my beer can and slammed it down on the table, causing Marisol to flinch as she got closer to Katie who was looking at me disappointingly - the sober one was always Katie.

Ever since the stupid fucking principal suspended both myself and Owen for a month due to our "horrible actions" done to Clare, I had been spending my time at home with my mother who was certain to have me stay at home the whole time - no shenanigans as she put it.

My mother was certain to set me straight, as if. I was glad she had decided to step out today and run some errands and visit my uncle, her brother at his rest home. I didn't even wanna divulge into my uncle's stupid decisions to be drunk and driving and wind up mentally retarded. He was the stupid one.

"We all need to talk. After what Owen and I did, none of you wanna talk. What the fuck is up with that?" I questioned as I leaned back into my sofa and looked around at everyone's stances.

Jake and Jenna were the ones farthest away from me, they were by the door, as if they were planning to bolt, but they looked very uncomfortable.

Marisol and Katie were also by the door as well, leaning against the wall as they shuffled their feet in unison and looked down at the grey carpeting. Damn those two were really weird with their friendship, maybe I shouldn't have let them into the group after all.

Jess and Sadie were sitting by each other on the other sofa, neither looking that uncomfortable, Sadie looked a bit pissed off and Jess was looking around the room a bit nervously, I haven't been on the best of terms with my girlfriend, I meant to fix that somehow, but I could never find the time, either that or, I simply didn't care about Jess's feelings like she cared about my own.

Bianca was set off behind Sadie and Jess, she had her arms crossed across her chest in a very back off way, she scanned the room alluringly, she came across Owen, before seeming disgusted and then continued to mess around with her fake red nails. I had forgotten that Owen and Bianca had broken up, Owen didn't go into great detail, he sounded nervous when he told me, a very unlike Owen thing to do, he simply said Bianca wasn't who he always thought she was.

Then Dave and Owen, both standing by me, looking at me as they didn't know what to simply say.

Everyone didn't know what to say.

Everyone looked uncomfortable and awkward.

They all wanted to say something and it was really setting me off.

"Well?" I barked, I noticed how Jess jumped at the sound of my voice, only adding annoyance to my long list of current feelings. "What are some of you gonna say?" I exclaimed as I looked around at my peers.

Nothing.

Nothing came from any of them, I was ready to break the nearest thing to me as I felt anger coursing through my veins, until I heard someone clear their throat.

It was Jake.

"I'm done." Jake said loudly and clearly.

Marisol and Katie looked at Jake nervously, as did many others in the room.

"I don't know about Jenna, or about Bianca, or about anyone else, but I'm done being a pawn to you, KC. I have a girlfriend now, one that I really, really like and I know it upsets her knowing I'm apart of your little group. So I'm leaving, for good." Jake declared as he merely shrugged and left the apartment, Jenna looking after him, longingly, like she wanted to desperately join him.

"Go ahead!" I exclaimed at Jenna, she turned around slowly and glared at me. "Go and join your sorry case for a best friend, Jenna! Embrace your gayness! Be the dyke you wanna be, but if you leave this group, you're never coming back in - no matter what threats you say." I sneered and Jenna sighed.

"You are right." Jenna finally said and I smirked at her, good, I wasn't losing her. "You're right, I need to embrace my gayness. I need to be the lesbian I wanna be. Because I'm Jenna Anne Middleton and I'm in love with Bianca DeSousa!" Jenna declared loudly and clearly.

_What the fuck._

I immediately looked at Owen who was looking down at his shoes uncomfortably, while everyone else looked at Jenna in shock and then looked at Bianca, who's face was blank as a page.

"Get out." I growled as I looked at Jenna. Jenna raised her hands and smirked.

"Whatever, KC. I'm done chasing after you and your dumb little clique. Fuck you." Jenna sneered as she escaped the apartment and ran down the hall, most likely gonna catch up with Jake.

I looked at Bianca who was looking at us all with a scared expression on her face.

"You too." I spat, Bianca's eyes widened.

"No.. KC. Please I'll-" Bianca began, but I held my hand up and pointed to the front door.

"I tolerate no dykes in my group." I sneered.

Bianca took in a defeated gasp as she quickly left the apartment without any other words.

To be honest, I wouldn't miss those three, they weren't essential to me, Jake was just a filler for someone we can never get back, Jenna and Bianca are fucking dykes, so I don't need any of them.

None at all.

"Now that is settled. I guess we can plan who is throwing the next party. Any takers?" I offered as I looked around at my group. Everyone still looked uncomfortable.

I looked over at Dave and raised an eyebrow.

"Dave? You haven't thrown a party in forever man." I told Dave and he merely shrugged as he started messing around with his Rolex watch.

Soon I heard shuffling and I looked to my right to see Marisol and Katie beginning to leave and I could feel anger course through my being again.

"You two!" I shout and Katie looked at me sadly before uttering,

"Sorry KC. Mari and I are out. We can't handle all the drama you force onto the group." Katie simply said as she grabbed Marisol by the arm and they both exited my apartment.

I groaned and took a hearty sip of my beer before slamming the can down once more. I looked around at who was remaining in my group now. Me, Owen, Dave, Sadie and Jess.

"Anyone else?" I sneered as I looked at Sadie and Jess. I half expected them to stand up and leave - and I was right.

Sadie stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder as she pulled Jess up with her.

"I'm done, KC. You have too much drama, too many schemes. You went too far with Eli and Clare. Sure Eli could be an asshole, he proved that to me and Jess today, but him and Clare didn't deserve what you did." Sadie explained with a disappointing look in her eye. I didn't say a word as I watched her and Jess slowly make their way to my front door.

"Jess?" I asked and Jess turned around, facing me, but before I could even begin my words, she said them before I did.

"We're through." Jess sneered, before linking arms with Sadie and leaving my apartment.

Fucking fantastic. I was newly dumped and I had only two people on my side, as I stood up and faced Owen and Dave, I noticed how Dave was longingly looking at the door as well.

"You wanna bail too?" I breathed out and Dave sighed, before nodding.

"This man.." Dave said as he gestured between myself and him. "It was never a friendship. You used me man. Like you used everyone in this group. I'm gone." Dave muttered as he shouldered past me and headed for my front door. Once I heard the front door click shut, I furiously kicked my coffee table as drinks went flying and spilled their contents all over the carpet.

"Can you believe this?" I roared as I looked at my only companion, my only friend, Owen.

Owen sighed and shrugged, looking a bit.. Pitiful?

"They all had a point, KC." Owen murmured.

_This isn't happening._

_This isn't fucking happening._

"Jake is right. We're all pawns to your little game. You used every single one of us any way you could. Jenna and Bianca.. They were forced to hide secrets because of you, Eli did too when he was apart of this group. We all had to hide secrets when being apart of this lame group. Katie, Marisol, Sadie and Jess? They are right about the drama you brought upon us. I never wanted to do what you made us do to Eli and Clare, but I had too, to fucking fit in. You used me, man. I'm not gonna hang around with you, while all you do is get drunk off of beers and plot stupid revenge. Fuck this, I'm done as well." Owen explained clearly as he gave me a once over and shook his head before shouldering past me as well and leaving my apartment.

Once he was gone, I knew I was truly alone.

I had no friends.

I had no popularity.

I had _nothing._

I sighed and slumped back into my couch just in time for my mother to come home.

"KC!" Lisa shouted as she took in the knocked over coffee table and spilt drinks. "Clean this mess up right now! I smell alcohol! Did you drink? KC!" Lisa exclaimed disapprovingly. "We're so talking after this young man." Lisa said sternly as she walked past the mess and into her bedroom.

I groaned and started to walk into the kitchen, where I knew the cleaning supplies were, but before I cleaned anything, I muttered to myself.

"I'm so screwed."

* * *

_Darcy's Point of View:_

I sighed heavily and looked into Eli's crazed concerned jade green orbs.

"I.. don't know." I answered honestly as I bit my lip nervously. It seemed as if all the color in Eli's face drained and he breathed out heavily and I noticed tears forming in his arms and I placed a hand on his shoulder - forgetting our current state of our friendship as I looked at him with sympathy.

"She'll be okay, Eli." I murmured soothingly to the distraught teenage boy, but Eli merely shook his head.

"No.. she's dying, Darcy. Dying. Whether it not be today.. It'll be some other day. I can't afford to lose her." Eli gasped out as the tears started falling down his cheeks and he didn't even bother to wipe them off.

I softly shook my head as I lightly wiped his tears away with my fingers, not sure what to say to even calm him down at this point, his mind was so set on Clare's death, I couldn't change it.

"I'm surprised you even came." I commented as I continued brushing his tears away with my fingertips. I wasn't lying either, I had been shocked, yet relieved when I saw Eli burst through those doors, I didn't exactly expect him to come and see Clare, but instead to go home and act like nothing horribly wrong is happening.

Eli shrugged as he began toying with his leather jacket's zip up and I stopped wiping his tears away and Eli looked at me warily.

"Do you still care for her?" I whispered as I looked deep into Eli's green orbs. This is how I'd be able to tell if this pompous asshole, jackass, bastard kid loved my sister. I could always tell by seeing his eyes. The kid always gave everything away with a bat of his lashes.

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be here." Eli responded sadly, his green eyes giving it all away as I saw pure love and care in his pupils.

_His feelings never changed._

I smiled sadly at Eli as he attempted the same smile and I giggled lightly.

"Sorry for punching you." I murmured and Eli chuckled as he softly touched his small bruise on his cheekbone.

"I don't blame you. Talking to Sadie as a way to seem like everything was okay was not.. Cool to say at the least." Eli said with the roll of his eyes.

"Are you.. Together with her?" I questioned, biting the inside of my cheek nervously. I hoped to God he wasn't, because right now, both Eli and Clare were vulnerable to the core and needed one another.

"Oh no. I gave her hints that she needed to back off, which she did. Plus, I would never date Sadie Rowland anyway. Dave has been in love with her for the past two years." Eli revealed and I raised my eyebrow in surprise.

"Shocking." I said in a monotone and Eli smirked.

"So.. Friends?" Eli asked as he held his hand out, it was slightly shaking, but I couldn't blame him, mine were too earlier. I smiled and took Eli's hand, shaking it as I soon pulled him into a embrace. A warm and loving embrace.

"Remember. I don't do handshakes. I do hugs, Goldsworthy." I said with a chuckle. Eli returned the chuckle and when we pulled apart, I looked at Eli with a sad smile.

"Are you gonna see her when we are able to see her?" I questioned Eli and Eli bit his bottom lip nervously.

"I don't know.. We'd talk and.." Eli trailed off and I sighed, shaking my head.

"You need to hear her out, Eli. Okay? It'll be worth it." I murmured and Eli merely shrugged, his face showing how confused and indecisive he was. I could understand how he would be confused, those morons at Degrassi had told him Clare had gotten HIV the worst possible way, a way most people believe get them. How could he believe anyone else after their words?

Eli would just need to speak to Clare. That's all he needed to do, I would make sure of it.

"Relatives here for.. Clare Diana Edwards?" A deep voice questioned and soon my head whipped in the direction of a young doctor with wavy black hair and deep brown eyes as his eyes scanned the waiting room which was fairly full.

"Here!" I squeaked as I raised my hand awkwardly, I could feel Eli tense up beside me as the doctor approached us.

_This was it._

"Hello, I'm Dr. Chris. You must be Clare's sister and you are?" Dr. Chris asked as he looked at Eli and Eli licked his lips nervously.

"Oh I'm uhm.." Eli was stammering for some sort of word and I said the first word I could think of.

"This is Eli, her boyfriend." I said quickly and Eli shot me a confused look, but I gave him a look that said to _'Play along'. _Hopefully Goldsworthy understood that.

"Is she alright?" Eli asked, his voice laced with such concern it broke my heart hearing him speak. Eli was so genuinely worried that I could only hope, Dr. Chris gave us some good news.

Anything, but words I dread to hear.

Anything, but those words.

I just needed something _good _for once.

* * *

**A/N: Aha, a slight cliffhanger! This though, isn't the other cliffhanger I spoke about last chapter, that one is in the epilogue, one of which you will hate me for making a cliffhanger. This chapter concludes the 'popular clique'. KC and the others (Owen, Dave, Jess, Sadie, Katie and Marisol) will not be seen again. Although Jake, Jenna and Bianca will next chapter! I need to give those three supporting characters a great ending for being amazing. Nothing like KC's, KC deserved his ending though. :]. Anyway! Next chapter is the last chapter, then the next chapter is the epilogue. I hope I do not disappoint! Please review!**


	42. Love Conquers All

**A/N: Next chapter is the official last chapter of this story! This is a rather long chapter I suppose, but its filled with so much goodness, all of you will enjoy!**

* * *

_Eli's Point of View:_

Why did it seem like those couple seconds of awaiting Dr. Chris's words were the longest couple seconds of my life?

It felt like the world was on my chest and I couldn't think clearly enough, I couldn't sort out what I would do if Clare is dead - what would I do?

Live on with life and pretend she never existed? Tried that with Julia and nothing ended up well.

Mope around about her death forever? It was an option, but a very depressing one.

There was one other.. But it was so dangerous and harmful to others who cared about me. Could I possibly do that to them? Could I actually stomach that and actually -"Clare is fine. Weak of course, but fine. Her medication is being upped once more, we're giving her higher dosages and she'll be fine with those. We'll keep her overnight for more observation though." Dr. Chris explained with a tired smile on his face.

Then suddenly relief flooded through my being. The world was lifted off my chest and my cloudy thoughts were clear once more.

_I could breathe after hearing his words._

"Oh thank God." Darcy breathed out as she blinked backed her joyous tears and I gave Darcy a comforting smirk as she grabbed my hand and surprisingly gave it a warm squeeze.

"One of you may go and visit her right now - I'm guessing the boyfriend would like too, I need to fill out paperwork with her sister." Dr. Chris intervened and suddenly I became nervous again, Darcy picked up on the nervousness as she sighed and faced Dr. Chris.

"Could you give us one moment?" Darcy asked Dr. Chris politely and he nodded slowly as Darcy dragged me away by the soda machines and crossed her arms across her chest."You're nervous to see her." Darcy said point blank, taking my emotions out and laying them out right in front of me and I groaned as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"What if I don't wanna see her, Darce?" I asked quietly and Darcy rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You are talking to Clare, Eli. You're not getting out of this one." Darcy said sternly as she pointed a finger at me, her face scrunching up in anger.

She always got angry so easily.

"But what if she doesn't wanna see me? I _did _break up with her after all. Plus.. Maybe it isn't such a good idea, it'll set her health back even more and then we'll have to talk and I don't wanna talk.." I began rambling, saying word after word, excuse after excuse. Finding anything I could think of and running with it.

Truth is, I'm terrified to see Clare.

See her in her current state, I hadn't seen her in a month since she had transferred to home schooling as Alli had told me or spat at me one morning when I accidentally asked her where Clare was.

"Things are gonna be awkward, Eli, but you need to talk to Clare. You need to learn the truth from her, not from me, but from her. Just hear her out and then take your pick, you could leave her or you could stay with her. But just please, hear her out." Darcy pleaded with me, her eyes holding pity and sadness, I sighed and dropped my hand from my neck as I stuffed my hands in my leather jacket pockets.

"Fine." I grumbled and soon Darcy's lips spread into a wide grin.

"I believe her room number 498. Just please go and hear her out, Eli. It'll be worth it, trust me. Now I need to fill out paperwork." Darcy said tiredly as she gave my shoulder a slight squeeze and lightly kissed my cheek before slinging her bag over her shoulder and walked off with Dr. Chris as he began to pull papers from a folder.

_No way was I getting out of seeing her now. _I thought bitterly. I could bolt for it, ignore Clare and whatnot, or I could man up and see her, ask how she is feeling and hear her out.

Strangely I found myself walking quickly down the hospital corridors, in a hurry to find room 498.

God, how many rooms did they have in this fucking place, I'm pretty sure I've already rounded this damn corner. I already saw that lady cleaning up.. Wait is that blood she's cleaning up? Nasty. Ugh, note to self, never work in a hospital - ever.

Soon I came face to face with the 400 wing and braced myself as I walked down the hallway, hearing my boots squeak against the waxed flooring, I could hear the low hum of some televisions and some conversations between patients and visitors. Or I could hear patients complaining.

What a perfect place to be.

Out of nowhere, I looked up to see the numbers **498 **in bold letters, I immediately stopped and gulped as I looked at the file and the name it read, making sure I wasn't going into some strangers room.

_Clare Diana Edwards. _

_Age: Sixteen_

_Date of Birth: July 16, 1995_

Yep, this was her room.

I could feel my heart pound against my chest as I slowly opened Clare's hospital room door, it creaked as it opened and I heard the sound of sheets being rustled and moved, I fully opened the door to see straight ahead a hospital cot with many different machines surrounding it, an IV rack, a another door leading to what I presumed was a washroom, and there was a unoccupied bed by the used hospital cot.

The used cot was being used by a very mangled and sickly teenage girl, her curls a massive mess around her face and her blue orbs were looking at me strangely, as if she was trying to figure out why I was even here.

".. Eli?" Clare squeaked and I slowly smiled as I heard her say my name, I had missed the way she said my name, just the way she simply said it, it had me in infinite happiness. "You.. You're here." Clare added as she tried to sit up in her cot, but failed to do so and slumped back into her cot. I nodded at her words as I shut the door softly behind myself and walked over to the side of Clare's bed, dragging a chair with me as I took a seat beside her cot and looked at her sadly.

"Yeah.. I'm here." I murmured as I reached over and without thinking, grabbed her hand and gave it a small squeeze. Clare reacted with a strange look on her face mixed in with confusion, she simply shook her head drowsily as she leaned back into her pillows and her eyes fluttered close.

Whenever she woke up, we'd talk.

This time.. I'd listen.

* * *

_Jenna's Point of View:_

"So, the whole group is broken up?" I questioned Jake with a open mouth and Jake nodded as he leaned into the bench we were sharing in Fisher's Park. "I would have at least expected Owen or Dave to stay behind _at least_." I said knowingly as I shook my head in disbelief that KC's clique had broken up.

Everyone had left him all alone, KC had fallen from his role on the popularity ladder and even now Wesley Betencamp is more popular than he is - and that's sad.

"Dave supposedly doesn't wanna be apart of the drama anymore, him and Sadie are staying out of it all." Jake said as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, I raised my brow at Jake curiously.

"Dave and Sadie?" I asked and Jake nodded once more.

"Crazy right? Turns out the dude has been in love with her for years, proclaimed his love to her and now they are a happy loving couple. Dave told me all about it over FaceRange when he apologized." Jake explained with a huge sigh.

It all seemed strange and weird now - people leaving KC's group, it always seemed they'd seem close knit until graduation and wherever that took them.

"What about Owen?" I asked Jake and Jake shrugged.

"I haven't talked to Owen personally, but according to Dave, Owen always secretly hated KC and being a pawn in his games, but then again, we all did. Everyone hated KC, everyone, but.. KC." Jake said with a short chuckle at the end.

I breathed out all the stress which had been in my system for the past month since the Clare and Eli fiasco that shook the school and their world. Things seemed to be lighting up. The clique was broken up. Jake even told me how Eli was visiting Clare who was in the hospital, I made a mental note to visit Clare later - after all, I owe her a face to face apology for being the biggest bitch in Degrassi.

"I just.. Can't believe it, you know? I thought it was just gonna be me and you, standing up and leaving, but turns out _everyone _did. I even saw Katie, Marisol, and Jess all hanging with each other at Tags. To think before Katie and Marisol barely even spoken to Jess, afraid of the power she had before them since she was KC's girlfriend, but now, she's free. They are all _free_." I said happily as I looked at Jake from the corner of my eye and he started chuckling.

"I'm glad I made friends with you, Middleton. We make a pretty damn good team." Jake commented as he held his fist out towards me and I smiled as I pounded his fist.

"The only girl since Rebecca who has ever pounded my fist." Jake murmured as he face turned into a blank page it seemed, his eyes glazed over as I suspected he was having a flashback. Jake had told me plenty times how I had reminded him of Rebecca so many times, instead of taking that offensively, I took it with pride. To remind Jake of such a important person in his life was honoring to say the least.

Quickly I heard the clomp of boots coming towards us and I looked to my right to see Hannah was walking towards us with a ice cream cone in her hand, a small smile on her tight red lips.

I nudged Jake, pulling him from his reverie as he looked at me confused until I nodded towards Hannah.

"Tiny fire coming this way." I whispered, using the nickname Jake often called Hannah, Jake merely rolled his eyes at me before lifting himself off the bench and approaching Hannah, his demeanor changing as he grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together.

"Hey Han." Jake crooned with a goofy smile on his lips, a smile he only gets when he's around Hannah. He was never that way with Sadie, but with Hannah, it was like a totally different side of Jake.

"Hi." Hannah greeted her tall boyfriend shyly as she licked her ice cream, getting some on her nose and I already knew where this was going.

"You got some there.." Jake began to say as he reached forward to wipe the ice cream off her freckled nose, but instead he decides to plant a kiss on her nose, causing Hannah to squeal, I heard a slight sucking sound and when Jake moved away, the ice cream was off her nose and now Jake was licking his lips.

"That's a mighty good ice cream there, Tiny Fire. Mind sharing?" Jake asked with a smirk and Hannah got a thoughtful look on her face before shaking her head and she soon smashed the ice cream in Jake's face, catching both of us by surprise.

"Oh you better run, Hannah." Jake teased as he tried to wipe the ice cream off his face, but Hannah giggled and started running off with Jake on her trail.

I sighed as I took my attention off my best friend and his girlfriend whom I set up as a ploy to make Jake happy, which worked, it immensely worked.

It seemed like everyone was getting happy endings today, of course everyone, but KC, but.. I wanted a happy ending as well. I was envious of these couples, their sweet gestures, their cute talks, their laced hands.

_I wanted that._

_I wanted that so badly._

_And I wanted it with only one person._

_One person who I humiliated in front of our peers, I was sure to be shunned by my Latina lover by now._

"Hey Tiny Painter." A familiar deep accented coated voice murmured from behind me and I leapt from my spot on the bench and pivoted around to see Bianca was standing awkwardly behind the bench, her hands in her leather jacket pockets.

_Oh God, her figure. Her goddamn figure._

She was just so thin and perfect, hell, Bianca could be curves galore with rolls everywhere and she'd still be sexy to me.

"Hey.." I said nervously as I shifted my weight to my other foot as I looked at Bianca shyly.

Why was she even here? I had told everyone her secret, she should hate me, I would understand, but instead she's here - she doesn't look mad or upset, she looks fairly nervous like I am.

"I'm sorry about getting you kicked out of KC's group." I apologized quickly as I stuck my hands nervously in my pant pockets. "I knew being apart of the group meant a lot to you, so me ruining it probably ruined your reputation as well. I'm sorry, Bianca." I finished as I sighed heavily and instead of hearing Bianca shouting at me, I heard her laugh lightly, the sound was like wind chimes on a windy day.

"I'm not upset about that douche's group. Sure it was unsettling, but its whatever now, Jenna. KC was a loser, hell, KC is a loser, I don't wanna associate with him." Bianca explained briefly, keeping a smirk on her thin red lips.

_She was teasing me with those lips, Oh God she was._

"Oh then.. Why are you here?" I asked nervously as I bit my lip. I had no idea why the Latina was here in the first place.

"To do this." Bianca murmured as she took shaky steps toward me. What was she doing? What was she planning in that pretty head of hers? Oh God, she's getting close, so much closer..

Soon Bianca was standing so close to me, our chests were touching and her thin hand was lightly touching mine, sending chills down my spine. Bianca licked her lips flirtatiously before whispering.

"Te amo."

Then before I knew it, Bianca had her lips pressed feverishly against mine, I couldn't keep up with her fast pace kisses and her hands were snaking around my waist, while mine were lost in her gorgeous curly hair.

When we finally pulled away, some people who were observing us looked away and I looked at Bianca with a grin on my lips as I grabbed her hand and laced our fingers.

"Te amo." I whispered back lovingly as Bianca grinned widely, showing her teeth as she squeezed my hand.

So I guess I did get my happy ending.

We were all getting happy endings, I just hoped Eli could get his happy ending.

I knew who he wanted it to be with - and I hoped he would get it with her.

* * *

_Clare's Point of View:_

This has to be some weird dream. Maybe I'm hallucinating from the medication the nurses had given me, but.. Eli would _not _be in my hospital room right now.

No, right now he'd be enjoying some time alone with Sadie, yes, him and Sadie, being happy and giggly. I can just hear them murmuring each others names.

"_Oh Eli." Sadie murmured as she leaned into Eli's lean frame, Eli smirked down at the beautiful tall girl in his side as he ran his hand through her endless black hair - God he loved this, he loved running his hands through endless amounts of hair. Something Clare didn't have, this was why he wanted Sadie._

"_Yes baby?" Eli murmured as he pulled Sadie closer to him as they sat atop a hill, the same hill Eli had taken Clare for their three month anniversary. The view was amazing, the same view Eli and Clare had watched that night when Clare had snuggled into Eli's side as they spent that night with each other. _

"_I love you." Sadie whispered and Eli chuckled at her words as he ran his hand up and down her arm soothingly._

"_I love you too." Eli replied as he pressed a kiss to Sadie's head and continued to run his long fingers through her never ending mass of hair. _

"_More than you ever loved Clare?" Sadie questioned and Eli snorted as he rolled his eyes._

"_Do you think I ever loved Clare? She cheated on me, Sadie, she has a fucking STD. Can you imagine if I ever slept with her?" Eli said with disgust lacing in voice and Sadie nodded as she began to toy with Eli's jacket zipper and she smiled flirtatiously._

"_But lucky you.. I carry no diseases." Sadie murmured and Eli's lips spread into a grin as he placed his hands on Sadie's hips as she pressed him against the grass and began to straddle his body._

_Soon her lips approached his and waited no more - her lips touched his and sparks flew, feelings were exploding, love was clearly shown._

Soon my eyelids flew open and I was greeted with a awful bright light which caused me to groan loudly as I could feel my heart beat quicken from affect of the nightmare.

_Nightmare. Thank God.. it's a nightmare. Just a nightmare._

As I struggled to sit up, I could feel my throat and just how scratchy and sore it was feeling right now, I began to cough erratically, I started to look around for some water - anything to make this feeling in my throat stop, but soon I felt the feeling of a cup being brought up to my lips. I didn't even bother to see who it was who was bringing the water to my lips, but I was grateful they were doing so, the liquid soothed my throat and stopped my erratic coughing.

I had managed to gulp down the whole cup of water before it was taken from my lips and placed on the side table. I felt familiar hands push me back down on the cot and pull the blanket up to my shoulders.

"Shh. Go back to sleep." The deep and husky voice murmured in my ear. I looked up at the voice to see it was.. Eli.

Eli of all people.

Was I dreaming _again_?

"Am I dreaming again?" I muttered as I squinted at Eli's face and he chuckled, I missed that chuckle. It was such a perfect chuckle.

"No, sadly you are not in dreamland, but you are in the hospital, Clare." Eli murmured as he sat down in the chair next to my bed and looked at me worriedly.

I sighed as suddenly all the memories came back to me, I was feeling dizzy - dizzier than I ever feel and I was trying to stand up, to find Darcy, but I couldn't move my legs, it was impossible, it was if they were dead.

Everything after that was a blank.

"Wait.. Why are you here?" I murmured confused as I looked at Eli through heavy eyelids and Eli sighed sadly.

"Darcy called me." Eli said simply and I could only imagine their phone conversation, Darcy dragging Eli down here for what? To yell at me for living with this stupid disease? I bet he hated being down here, I bet he just pitied me fine, that must be the reason he helped me drink the water, just so I could shut up.

"You could have said no. No one forced you here, Eli." I said a bit more nastier than I expected and Eli expected as well, but he only breathed nervously.

"I didn't wanna say no, Clare." Eli said sternly and seriously, I looked into his jade green orbs to see the truth etched out into them.

_He truly didn't wanna say no._

"Do you feel sorry for me? Is that why you couldn't say no?" I questioned Eli. I needed to know these things, who knows when I'd ever speak with Eli ever again, better take my chances here and now while I had the opportunity too.

"No, Clare - I came because I am worried, I'm genuinely concerned right now. I chose to come down here and make sure you were okay, if I didn't, I'd be having this nagging feeling to see you." Eli explained with a painful expression and I sighed, believing his words.

Silence was dancing around us when I heard Eli clear his throat as he leaned his elbows on the edge of my cot and looked at me with sad green orbs.

"Tell me everything." Eli whispered and I was taken aback from his words.

_Tell him everything? Did he mean like.. How I became like this? He wanted to actually know? _

"And since you're probably wondering, yes, I wanna know about how you got into your.. Situation. I'm not saying I'll believe you, but.. I wanna hear you out, Clare." Eli said truthfully as he nodded his head.

I sighed and gently pushed the blanket off my arms as I slowly sat up in a sitting position as Eli watched me warily, when he saw I was having a struggle, he grabbed the remote on the side table and pressed an up arrow and soon the bed was elevating upward. I breathed a thank you to him as I leaned into the elevated cot and looked at Eli.

"Its quite long.. You sure you wanna hear it all?" I murmured to Eli and he nodded.

"I have all the time in the world, Clare." Eli said seriously and he looked at me intently and I nodded.

"As you know, Darcy and I were adopted by Helen. Well before that, when only Darcy was born, Margaret had taken a liking to.. Partying I should say. One night stand with one man while she was still with Randall caused Margaret to catch HIV. Once she found out, she never told Randall, in fear he'd leave her for cheating on her and ruining his chance at a family, but when Margaret found out she was pregnant with me, she was ecstatic, she thought having another baby would satisfy Randall, which it did. Although, when I was born.. The doctors had done some tests and found out I was born with HIV. They spoke with Randall and Margaret where Margaret had come clean to have kept the secret about her HIV, this enraged Randall to the very core. Randall and Margaret continued to stay together despite that I was a very sick baby and Margaret was getting sick as well, she was dying after all. Randall and Margaret had gone for a drive one day, hoping to talk things through when Randall crashed into a truck head on collision. Killed them both instantly. After that.. Well I already told you about Darcy and I being separated. Well at my other home, Elizabeth and Thomas must had come up with a lie when they told me of my HIV when I was nine, Elizabeth took the blame, saying she never meant to give it to me, but I forgave her.. I forgave her for something she never did. Well.. After Thomas and Elizabeth's deaths and I moved here with Helen and Darcy, my sick days were happening quickly, you were there for the one that happened at the beginning of the school year - you were there for so many of them." I explained, but I wasn't quite finished. "I never cheated on you, Eli. I'm a virgin, I can never have sex without spreading my disease to that person. I was born with HIV, Eli. I never chose for this to happen to me. I never chose to live with this day by day and feel myself slowly die. My time is running out." I choked out, finishing my explanation.

I was scared to see Eli.

To see how he was reacting to all of this.

Was he scared? Was he angry? Was he.. Feeling nothing?

I sighed and looked down at my plain nails, feeling the urge to bite them - stupid nervous habit.

"There. I explained everything to you. I highly doubt you will believe me anyway.. So you can leave if you want." I murmured as I could feel tears sting in my eyes.

I heard nothing and soon I came over with defeat, of course Eli would be speechless, then he would probably bolt, never come back to me with my deadly secret.

But instead he did something unexpected.

Careful not to mess with my wires, Eli sat down next to me, grabbing the remote and elevating the cot down more to where we'd be on our backs, flat. I looked over at Eli to see his blank jade green orbs.

His wall was put up.

I hadn't seen his wall put up in months.. I hated seeing his wall up. I wanted it down, I wanted to see his emotions. I wanted to see what he was feeling.

Surprisingly, I felt Eli snake his arm around my shoulders and pull me close to his side as I instinctively snuggled into his side, loving the warmth I was feeling.

_Why was he doing this? He hated me. I have HIV. I cheated on him. He hates me._

"How much longer you got." Eli barely whispered, I could tell he was on the verge of tears - I was too.

"Six years." I whispered back and finally Eli's wall came crumbling down as he clutched at me tightly and started sobbing hysterically into my shoulder, his sobs making my tears come as well and I found myself crying into his chest as I clung so tightly to his shirt.

"Please.. P-P-Please don't l-leave me-me." Eli stammered as he clutched at me even more, his fingers going through my curls and I could only feel more sobs overtake me, I couldn't answer Eli. I had no answer for Eli.

We laid there for what seemed like hours, clutching at each other as we cried, cried about everything that had happened to us.

Eli's abuse.

Eli's constant wall building.

My HIV.

My death approaching in six short years.

I don't think I had ever cried that much in my life, but when I had finished crying, I felt good - better now that I had my emotions dealt on the table.

"I wanna spend everyday of the next six years with you, Clare." Eli admitted and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Was he serious? He was willing watching me slowly die the next six years?"What?" I murmured confused and Eli breathed heavily.

"I'm not gonna leave, Clare. I wanna spend every moment you have left _with you _and no one else." Eli confessed as he started to stroke my back soothingly.

"Not even with Sadie?" I asked cautiously and Eli broke out into surprising laughter.

"Clare.. **Never **with Sadie." Eli informed me as he pressed a long loving kiss to my forehead and then trailed the kisses down the bridge of my nose was just inches from my lips.

"Are you okay with this?" Eli asked warily as he gave me a once over with his worried, yet red rimmed green eyes.

"Just trust me." I murmured, using one of his lines as I leaned forward and closed off the gap between us as Eli replied to the kiss happily as he clutched at me even tighter.

Now this.. _this was love._

I was starting to believe that famous quote after this famous little encounter in my hospital room, what was that quote? Oh yeah..

**Love conquers all.**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter is the final chapter! D: It'll be the epilogue and completely in Eli's POV, it'll be quite long, but it'll be the final chapter! So please review!**


	43. Epilogue

**A/N: This is it! This is the final chapter, this is the epilogue! Its been fun writing Despite Our Struggles and having this story get a rather large fan base! (: There will be no sequel to this story, I'm sorry, but there is no way to have a sequel to this story, plus it'll feel like I'm dragging the story along. :P Anyway! I'm still gonna write even when this story is finished, I have ideas in my head which should be published on fanfiction soon, so favorite me as an author or have me on author alert so you can see the new story!**

**ALSO! I saw one person (pho1297) ask about other characters and since they are briefly mentioned here, I'll just tell you their fate-**

**Jenna & Bianca: **The two are still together, although they always have an off/on relationship despite that Jenna wants to get married.

**KC: **KC wound up marrying Jess - yeah she caved and went back to him for the sake of having a boyfriend, they had a baby together, although, KC was a horrible parent to their child so Jess divorced KC and took their baby with her. Since then, no one has heard from KC.

**Adam & Fiona: **They are still in heaven with a little girl they adopted named Arielle due to her flaming red hair, they love her and each other to bits and pieces - they are the true happily ever after in this story.

**Drew: **Drew is a major cliffhanger - you never know if he is alive or dead which I already told you guys. So there isn't much to say on Drew.

**So now, this is the epilogue! This takes place eight years later since the last chapter. This is purely in Eli's POV. Please enjoy! (:**

* * *

I could feel the long heated beat of rays of sunshine on my back as I slowly awoke from my surprisingly good night of sleep which is weird of me to even receive, I hadn't gotten a good night of sleep since-

"Daddy! You woke up!" The little girl with long reddish brown curls and wide blue eyes exclaimed as she jumped on me with enthusiasm and I groaned as she placed all her weight on my legs which caused a shooting pain down my spine as she did.

"Yeah.. Daddy woke up, Sage." I mumbled as she quickly climbed off of me and soon had sadness in her eyes.

"I jumped on your legs Daddy. I'm sorry. I always forget." Sage whimpered as she started playing with her long curly hair and I smirked at her in a comforting way.

"Its alright, sweetheart. You were never the reason, Daddy has bad legs okay?" I reassured her and Sage nodded as she grabbed her stuffed bunny and clutched on it closely and I cocked my head to the side.

"Why are you even in here, Sage? I thought you were gonna sleep in your room last night, like a big girl." I reminded her.

Sage had this erratic fear of sleeping alone in her room, after always putting her in her room to sleep, she always somehow found her way back to my room and I would wake up to her whimpers and cries and I'd cave in and allow her to come into my bed. But the thing was, she always did this, she was five, almost six years old, she should be able to sleep alone now, but she says she has nightmares, at times I feel like explaining to Sage, how I have nightmares as well to reassure her, but I can never find the guts to tell her.

"Bad scary dreams." Sage murmured as I saw her blue orbs start to water and I sighed, grabbing my daughter and softly placing her in my lap as she leaned against my frame as I ran my hand soothingly through her long curly hair. "Will they ever go away, Daddy?" Sage whispered as she grabbed my hand and started playing with my fingers or comparing our hands like she usually did.

"Yeah sweetheart. One day they'll leave and never bother you ever again." I murmured as I placed a loving kiss on my daughter's head and she turned around to look at me and she smiled.

_Her smile looks just like Clare's. Just like Clare's._

Just like whenever I bring up Clare, or think of Clare, I get that pang in my chest and I could feel my heart grow heavy. This was why I avoided talking about Clare or thinking about Clare, but Clare's always here it seems, like she's living through our little miracle, Sage.

The reason Sage was such a little miracle, was because Clare and I never planned to have her, what with Clare having HIV, it put me at huge risk of catching it and also if Clare got pregnant, the baby would surely get it as well.

We were just newly married kids, fresh out of high school and already married, I knew I had to marry Clare as soon as she was out of high school, by then Clare had four years left and I needed to spend each of them with her, and we did spend the first two years of marriage with each other and each birthday scared me even more,

I was lucky to not have caught HIV from Clare, it was a one time deal, us making love, I wore a condom, we went through the whole process of making love slowly and full of love, both of us scared that the condom would break and I would surely catch it. I remember after we were done and I was proceeding to take the condom off.. It was broken already, I knew I had to tell Clare which I did and it devastated her to the core and she demanded I get tested, blaming herself for this huge mess. Its like I can still hear her constant cries and apologies to me after seeing the broken condom, I had no idea what to say to her other than to comfort her - her sobs still haunt me to this day.

Testing for HIV took a good six months before the results came back and after at least four months of waiting, Clare was starting to become sick - sicker than she usually was, this time throwing up and not wanting to eat at all, not only did _that _worry me as well, but her fever would rapidly go up and down at times. I knew I had to take her to the doctors in hope that she'd get her medication upped, but instead we were congratulated on the news of Clare getting pregnant after they took her blood sample and tested it.

That news scared the living hell out of us, Clare being pregnant whilst being just 20, she had months before she turned 21, by then she'd be pregnant and could be lost.. She could be lost at any day then. Clare _and _our baby could die in any short time span.

The doctors had assured us that Clare would receive a shot that had a 80% chance of preventing the baby from getting the disease through the umbilical chord.

But still.. There was that chance the baby could come out diseased and Clare didn't wanna abort the baby or put it up for adoption, she was just _scared. _Scared for her life. Scared for me. Scared for our child.

"_Eli.. This baby.." Clare murmured one afternoon as we sat on our couch in our home, I had my arm around her shoulders, softly squeezing her shoulder as I did so and she looked at me with tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes. "This baby could come out like me.. I don't want that.." Clare whispered as she softly placed her hand on her baby bump which was evident under he stretched blue shirt and I sighed as I looked at her._

"_Clare.. If this baby does come out being diseased.. I'll take care of him or her no matter what." I promised Clare and Clare looked at me incredulously._

"_You'd just wind up losing him or her, Eli.. Maybe its best if we do abort it-" but I quickly cut Clare off._

"_No. No abortions. We're gonna have this baby and we'll raise this baby. No matter what, Clare. Even if this baby does have your disease, I'll raise him or her with so much love, Clare. This is our child and I'm not gonna let you destroy him or her." I explained to Clare, Clare just merely nodded as she leaned her head on my shoulder, I could hear her break out into sobs and I sighed leaning my head on hers and pressing a loving kiss to her head. _

Clare just didn't understand - I wanted Sage so badly, Sage was going to be the last reminder of Clare to me, I didn't care if Sage came out with HIV or with three arms or two heads, she'd be mine and Clare's and that was enough for me.

Luckily months later, I had received my tests back, I had gotten a negative test, meaning I wasn't diseased, which pretty much brightened somewhat of Clare's sad and dark blue orbs when I told her, but she was still worrying over our son or daughter. I couldn't blame her, I was worrying too, I didn't wanna get attached to someone only to lose them so many years later, I didn't wanna go through all of _this _all over again.

When Clare's 21st birthday came and went, I was on edge. Clare was nine months pregnant, her low days were happening frequently, she was constantly having fevers and even at times would throw up as well, only making me regret having her keep our baby. I regretted that all up until Clare's water broke on September 10th.

"_Come on baby. Just push. Just push." I encouraged Clare as I looked at her sweaty and feverish face, she had a fever that day and was going through a low day when her water broke in our living room. Great. _

"_I.. I'm trying! I can't! Eli I can't!" Clare screamed as she arched her back in pain and squeezed my hand even harder, I looked over at the doctor at the end of the bed."Is the baby almost out?" I shouted, I didn't wanna see Clare in anymore pain than she was in and this birth was killing her. _

"_Almost out! One more push, Clare! One more push!" The doctor shouted as he looked up at Clare and she nodded quickly, and soon let out a piercing scream which was soon joined by a new screeching wail._

_I quickly looked over to see the doctor was indeed holding a bloody baby in her arms, the baby was screaming and moving around in the doctors arms and all I could do was stare in wonder at mine and Clare's creation. _

"_It's a girl! Congrats!" The doctor cheered as she placed the squealing bundle of joy in the nurses arms to clean up, I smiled brightly at the thought that Clare and I had a daughter, a freakin' daughter. I quickly turned around to face Clare._

"_Baby we-" but I never finished my sentence once I saw how pale Clare was, her fever was bright red on her face and she had tears welled up in her blue orbs._

"_We.. We did it." Clare croaked as she had a hand on her now small stomach, I could feel my stomach flip as I did allow my eyes to wander to Clare's midsection to see blood spreading across her stomach._

"_Uhm.. Doctor! Oh God, Clare!" I shouted as I could feel my hands tremble at the sight of blood spread across her stomach, the nurses quickly came to my aide and started to push me out the door._

"_Sorry young man. You need to wait outside." The nurses advised me as more swarmed around Clare, leaving a lone nurse alone with our daughter as she started to sooth the crying girl in the bundle of pink blankets._

"_No! No! I need to see Clare - Our baby! I can't - Clare!" I screamed as I felt more nurses push me out the door and soon the door was slammed in my face, I desperately tried to get inside, my stomach as flipping crazily as I saw the nurses swarm around Clare's bedside, carrying the bloody sheets in their arms, I could feel the blood drain from my face as I saw a glimpse of Clare's pale body on the bed, she was trying to breathe, but only more blood was coming out her stomach, I could only claw insanely at the door as if it'd knock over and I'd run over to Clare, help her, but I couldn't._

_I was separated from Clare._

Turns out, the birth had really drained Clare that day, the birth caused some tearing at her sensitive stomach lining which caused the bleeding. I still remember waiting in the waiting room like a crazed man when a nurse came out to tell me that I was allowed to see Clare, that she was asking to see me, on the way to her room, the nurse explained what happened to Clare and when I asked her if Clare was gonna be alright, the nurse sadly shook her head.

"_No.." The nurse trailed off and it felt like my heart had been torn in half. _

"_No?" I exclaimed and the nurse sighed._

"_Today is Clare's last day, Mr. Goldsworthy. The birth.. It pretty much killed her." The nurse said simply and I took in a deep breath of air and I looked at the short nurse."Can I see my wife now?" I asked her in a small voice and the nurse nodded before opening the door to Clare's room, I retreated inside to only hear my heart break even more when I saw how horrible Clare looked. Her hair was damp from sweat, her skin was pale - paler than before, she had multiple tubes inside of her and she looked up at me with shiny blue orbs._

"_Hey.." Clare croaked and I couldn't respond to her, I collapsed in the chair by her bedside and rested my head by her arm on her cot and started sobbing hysterically, Clare didn't say a word, she softly ran her hand through my thick hair, after what seemed like a good twenty minutes of crying, I rose my head to see Clare had been staring at me the whole time._

"_Please don't go." I whimpered to Clare and I saw as a tear rolled down her cheek as she softly touched my cheek."I have to.. Eli you knew this was gonna happen.." Clare whispered. I could only shake my head feverishly and groan._

"_I can't.. I need you with me.. This is gonna kill me, Clare. I can't live without you - please!" I pleaded with her in broken sentences. I didn't even know what I was saying anymore. _

"_Baby.. Listen to me." Clare began and I shook my head as I looked away and I felt Clare had a weak grip on my chin as she forced me to face her, her face serious._

"_Listen to me, Eli Goldsworthy." Clare began and I gulped. "You're gonna raise our daughter with so much love." Clare said and I nodded, I already knew that. "You're gonna find her a Mommy." Clare added and I looked at her in a bit of shock and Clare nodded. "She's gonna need a Mom, Eli. Every little girl does." Clare shortly explained and I shook my head. _

"_But __**you're **__her mother, Clare. You'll always be her Mother." I told Clare sternly and Clare sighed._

"_You're not gonna be hung up over me forever, Eli. Eventually you'll find a woman who will make you and our daughter very happy. Promise me you will." Clare demanded and I sighed heavily, looking at Clare with glassy eyes and I nodded._

"_I promise you babe." I whispered as Clare wiped away one of my tears before asking me._

"_What's her name gonna be?" Clare asked. "I wanna know before.." Clare trailed off, not able to finish the sentence and I was happy she didn't. _

"_Sage. Sage Rachelle Goldsworthy." I told Clare instantly as those names came to my mind instantly and Clare let out a forced giggle._

"_I love that name." Clare whispered. _

_I smiled down at my beautiful mess of a wife and slowly leaned in, knowing this was the last kiss I'd ever receive from her and when I was inches from her lips, she barely whispered._

"_You know, Eli.." Clare began as she licked her chapped lips. "Despite our struggles.. We made it baby." Clare concluded before I sadly smiled at her and pressed my lips to hers, feeling the passion through the kiss, feeling the bliss, feeling all our emotions, especially feeling the love through the kiss. _

_As I softly pulled away, a nurse walked into the room sadly._

"_I'm sorry, Mr. Goldsworthy. But its time to leave. Say goodbye to your wife." The nurse stated and I looked down at Clare with painful eyes and she mirrored the pain, but quickly asked._

"_Can Eli flip the switch?" _

_I looked down at Clare like she was crazy, she was asking if I could take her off life support, like I could even do that. I could barely find my legs to walk out this room. _

"_Well.. Family does always ask that. If its okay with Mr. Goldsworthy, the switch is right there on the grey machine. Its yellow. Just flip the switch and.." The nurse trailed off and I looked at her sadly. _

"_Eli please.." Clare begged. "My last wish.. Please." Clare asked, I sighed and nodded. I looked over at the nurse who nodded and left the room quietly and I looked at Clare with sad eyes. _

"_I love you baby.." I whispered to Clare and Clare's blue orbs gathered up with tears._

"_I love you too baby. Forever and ever." Clare whispered, as she latched onto my hand, I sighed and looked at the grey machine, I lightly placed my hand on the switch and quickly closed my eyes as I slowly flipped the switch off. _

_I didn't open my eyes for what seemed like hours, but I slowly did open my eyes when I felt the grip on my hand loosen and fall, I looked down to see Clare with her eyes closed, her body still - for once in her life - she looked peaceful. _

After Clare's death.. I was a mess - worse than a mess, I was dealing with it all horribly, I felt like the first few months that Sage was here in the world, I was a horrible father, it was hard to take care of her when all I could think of was Clare everytime I saw Sage and her exact blue orbs that belonged to Clare.

During what Jenna liked to call my "deranged months" she was the one to always take care of Sage, who grew to like Jenna, Sage even likes Jenna's girlfriend, Bianca, something that always baffles me, but they're happy with each other and Jenna already told me how she's considering proposing to Bianca. Which is a great idea for the two. I never suspected to find myself ever befriending, Jenna Middleton, but I did, after all we went through, its best to start over fresh.

I looked down at my ring-less hand and noticed that it had taken me years to take off my wedding band and officially declaring myself single, I still have the wedding band of course, but I can't wear it when I'm no longer married to Clare, even though Clare was buried with her wedding ring on, I'll hope to buried with mine whenever its my time to go as well.

"Daddy. You're doing it again." Sage whined and I looked down at the un-amused five year old confused.

"Doing what darling?" I asked Sage and she rolled her eyes in a way that Clare always use to do.

"Always zoning out. That's why Jenna calls you a weirdo." Sage informed me, I looked at her with wide eyes.

"Really now?" I asked Sage and she nodded as her curls bounced as they did so.

"Hmm. Daddy is gonna have a nice little talk to Jenna then." I teased Sage and she giggled as she hopped off the bed and stretched her little hand out for me to take.

"Come on Daddy. Lets go make breakfast and watch TV!" Sage chirped excitingly and I chuckled at her eagerness.

"Daddy's gonna be making breakfast soon okay? Plus I was thinking we could visit Auntie Darcy today." I told Sage and her blue orbs lit up like a Christmas Tree.

"Does that mean I can play with Emily when we get there!" Sage exclaimed, obviously talking about Darcy's daughter, Emily who was around Sage's age, just a bit older.

"Yes that means you can play with Emily. But first Daddy has to make breakfast. So just wait in the kitchen for Daddy okay?" I asked Sage and she nodded quickly as she ran out of my room and I shook my head at how much a ball of energy that kid can be.

I slowly got out of bed, feeling the pain in my legs once more, I knew these legs were gonna be the death of me. Yeah, I'm no longer paralyzed, but my legs have never quite been the same, I've gone through a handful of slips and falls when my legs give out and its just hell.

I slowly walked over to my dresser, feeling the heaviness in my legs as I did so, I gripped onto the dresser's side and looked at my drawn face, which didn't have bloodshot eyes or bags underneath them for once.

I looked down at the picture sitting on my dresser as well, a picture of me and Clare on our wedding day and hanging on the edge of the picture was my wedding band which I haven't gotten around to finding a box to place it in, I sighed and kissed my fingertips and placing them gently on the picture on Clare's face.

"Good morning, love." I whispered before dragging myself out of my bedroom and out into the kitchen where I was hoping for a good day.

…

"She's gotten so big." Darcy murmured as she looked over at Sage playing around with Emily's Barbie dolls and I smiled at Darcy as I leaned into her couch.

"She has." I agreed as I continued to watch my daughter play around with Barbies, as she changed their clothes, brushed their hair, occasionally she'd look up at me and smile before returning to brushing her doll's hair.

"How has she been doing?" Darcy asked and I snapped out of my reverie as I looked at Darcy who was stroking her baby bump, I had forgotten her and Declan were expecting a baby boy.

"She's been doing good, she loves school, has made some friends. She's been doing very good. She's just .. growing up so fast. Soon she'll be in first grade.. Damn." I told Darcy surprisingly and she nodded as she looked back at Emily and Sage.

"So she doesn't.. she doesn't have.. HIV?" Darcy asked in a hush voice and I sighed and shook my head.

"I got her tested and the results came back negative. She's clean. Healthy as ever. I just hope it stays that way." I told Darcy with a half smile and Darcy sighed.

"Kids get sick, Eli. You about had a heart attack that one time, Sage had to be picked up from school, because she was running a fever and was throwing up. The whole time Sage had just caught the flu and you were worrying yourself to death over nothing." Darcy reminded me and I cringed remembering that day.

"Well.. It just reminded me a lot of what happened to.. Clare." I shyly told Darcy. "Clare got sick like that a lot and you know that, it just really scared me. I'm just glad she isn't like Clare though." I told Darcy relieved and Darcy nodded.

"But she looks just like, Clare." Darcy murmured and I sighed.

"Spitting image of her mother. She's the only thing I have left that reminds me I had a girl like Clare once." I admitted to Darcy and she smiled sadly my way.

"Have you met anyone yet?" Darcy asked me and I swallowed a lump in my throat, I might as well tell, Darcy.

"I'm sort of.. Seeing Sage's teacher. Miss. Imogen Moreno? I met her during a parent teacher conference and we hit it off." I told Darcy with a shy smile and Darcy broke out into a grin.

"That's great, Eli. Honestly. What is Imogen like?" Darcy asked and soon I found myself babbling about Imogen.

Talking about how she's loving and caring about Sage which really make me feel like Sage is safe with her, that she's an amazing teacher, a smart woman, she's beautiful and has a shining personality.

"Sounds like someone is falling for someone." Darcy hinted as she nudged my arm and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm certainly **not **falling for Imogen. I like her and I'm dating her. Nothing big." I reassured Darcy and Darcy rolled her eyes."Sure. You said the same thing about Clare. Remember?" Darcy reminded me and I snorted.

"That was an obvious lie though." I reminded Darcy and Darcy giggled.

We sat there in silence for a while before Darcy sighed."I miss Clare." Darcy whispered and I immediately nodded.

"Sage should have met, Clare. I wish that happened." I murmured and Darcy sighed before placing a hand on top of mine. "I wish she did too, Eli. But at least now you and Sage are happy. You have Imogen.. And does Imogen know about Clare?" Darcy asked and I shook my head.

"Not yet. I'll drop the baggage off to Imogen when the time is right ya know?" I reassured Darcy and she nodded, agreeing with me.

"Clare had a bucket list, Darce." I told Darcy and Darcy looked at me oddly.

"Bucket list?" Darcy asked confused."It's a list people make when they know they are gonna.. Pass away. Clare had one and on her bucket list she wrote how she wanted three things to happen before she died. One of them being she gets her first kiss." I informed Darcy and Darcy winked in my direction when I told her, knowing I was Clare's first kiss. "Second one being she got married." I told Darcy and Darcy smiled sweetly at that one. "Third one being to change a bad soul into a good soul. She never got to accomplish that one." I informed Darcy sadly. "I tried so hard to try to fulfill that one for her, but she said it was okay, that I didn't need too. I just don't know why I couldn't have fulfilled that one for her." I told Darcy frustratingly and Darcy sighed, adjusting herself to were she was facing me, one hand on her baby bump as she looked me directly in the eyes.

"She did." Darcy admitted to me and I looked at her confused.

"She did? When?" I asked Darcy with wide and curious eyes and Darcy smiled as she removed her hand off her baby bump and grabbed my hand, before placing it over my heart and I looked at her oddly, before Darcy smiled and murmured.

"It was you."

"Tomorrow afternoon? I can't, Imo, Sage has her ballet classes." I said sadly into my phone receiver as I was on a call with Imogen who had called abruptly while I was sitting through another one of Sage's kid shows - shows that I couldn't stand, but I watch them anyway, if it made Sage smile, it made me smile.

"Oh.. Then Tuesday night? We can have dinner? I've been dying to see Sage anyway." Imogen gushed over the phone and I chuckled.

"Imogen, you saw her on Friday." I reminded my forgetful girlfriend and Imogen giggled.

"I know, I know, but she's grown on me, Eli. I love her to death." Imogen admitted and if I bet her cheeks were blushing as they always were when she was even slightly embarrassed.

"That makes two of us." I murmured as I turned around expecting to see Sage sitting on the sofa watching her kid show, but she wasn't there and that only made my heart skip a beat.

Sage was always where she needed to be, she knew better than to leave somewhere without telling me.

I could barely hear what Imogen was saying over the phone as I searched the living room for my little girl, hoping that she was messing around and was trying to scare me, which she always seemed to do.

"Eli?" Imogen asked warily. "You okay?" Imogen asked, more concern laced in her high voice.

Right when I was about to answer Imogen, I heard the sound of Sage shouting,

"Daddy! Some man is at the door!"

My eyes widened at the fact Sage was at the door with some _strange fucking man_. I could feel chills all over my entire body at the mere thought of someone snatching my little girl - the only thing I had left, someone snatching her and stealing her from me.

"Imogen? I have to go. Sage needs me. I'll call you tomorrow though alright?" I breathed into the receiver.

"Yeah of course, Eli. Bye." Imogen said softly before I hung up my phone and raced to the door, hoping Sage was still there, which she was.

I quickly scooped Sage up in my arms and looked at her frustratingly.

"Sage Rachelle, you know better than to answer the door when Daddy isn't there to do so." I scolded Sage, she nodded sadly as she looked back at whoever was at the door.

"But look, Daddy. This man, he said he knows you! Oh and Daddy look, he brought me a friend!" Sage said giddily as she looked at the small boy in the man's arms who waved at Sage, who waved back.

I didn't have time to see what the boy looked at, but I looked at who was carrying the small boy and my heart stopped.

I couldn't believe it, this couldn't be happening, this _isn't _happening.

"Oh shit."

* * *

**A/N: That's it! Its over! This has been amazing and fun to write! Thanks to all of you who have read it all from the first chapter and for reviewing! (: Means a lot guys! Also I have a new story out called 'Freeing Faith' it'll have Eli/Clare in it, so if you wanna see it, please check it out! Please send in your last reviews please! :)**

**Love, Risa (; **


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